


Omega 451

by Abandoned (TheIttyBitty)



Series: Omega 'Verse [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alpha Dean, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Child Abuse, M/M, Omega Castiel, Omegas are basically slaves, Underage Sex, kind of a slow healing process
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-04
Updated: 2015-07-05
Packaged: 2018-03-05 07:30:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 25
Words: 91,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3111308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheIttyBitty/pseuds/Abandoned
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Cas is a young omega from the Harrison Omega Training Center. Sam and Jess are looking for someone to help Dean - who has been rather reclusive lately - clean the house and keep him company. Little do they know, Cas needs help as much as Dean does.</p><p> </p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **[At the beginning of this story, Cas is very young. There is one sexual situation at this age (very first sentence), but there is no sex. The second half of the story takes place some years later, and the sex happens then.]**

A large, blue, silicone cock pumps in and out of Cas’ ass. He’s laying on the training table, on his back, legs in the air while the machine moves the dildo in and out rapidly, pegging his prostate every time. Cas is biting his lip hard to keep from coming. Next to the table, the trainer stands in his pale blue HOTC shirt, making notes on a clipboard. After a few minutes he snaps his fingers.

   
"Come." He orders.

   
Cas does, painting his stomach with spunk.

   
The trainer nods approvingly. He reaches over to turn off the machine.  
"You’ve improved quite a bit, Omega 451. You’ll get extra breakfast tomorrow." He scribbles something on his paper. "Clean yourself and go."

   
Castiel bows low. “Yes, Alpha.” He says. “Thank you, Alpha.”

   
He kneels by the small bucket of water on the concrete floor, and wipes himself down with the rag that floats in it. It’s very cold, but Cas doesn’t shiver and his teeth don’t chatter. He gets some goosebumps, but that’s not really something he has control over.

   
Once he’s clean he rises and bows to the trainer once more before he leaves.

   
His one-on-one lesson on Coming On Command is his last of the day, so he makes his way toward his room. He meets a few other omegas on his way, he inclines his head toward them politely. They’re all naked, as he is. Here at the Harrison Omega Training Center, omegas are almost always nude, barring a few specific circumstances.

   
He pads silently down the hall of the dormitory, takes a right, climbs some stairs, another right, until he’s finally at his room. It’s miniscule by most people’s standards, only room for a small cot and a tiny desk, and there’s no door, but Cas doesn’t mind. It’s all he needs, what would he do with more room? He doesn’t own anything and the desk is for reading training materials only. Anyway, all the other omegas have the exact same amount of space he does, same room made up the exact same way. No one else has doors either, what do they need doors for?

   
He sits down at his little desk and pulls a large, hard-backed book from under his cot. He flips to the part he’s supposed to read tonight, about proper etiquette at dinners containing state officials.

-o-

The morning bell goes off at five, waking everyone in the dormitories. Cas slides quickly out of bed and proceeds to re-make it with haste. Once he’s done he moves to stand in the doorway of his room. He stands looking straight ahead, back straight, chin up, hands clasped in front of himself. He waits like this, perfectly still, until Naomi comes by to inspect. She gives his room a cursory glance.

   
"Acceptable." She says. "Although a corner of your comforter is turned down, and your desk chair isn’t pushed all the way in. Fix it, then you may go to class."

   
Cas bows. “Yes, Alpha. Thank you, Alpha.”

   
He turns to quickly fix his mistakes as she moves to the next room. Had anyone else been inspecting, Cas probably would have been punished for not having his room perfect, but Naomi apparently holds some strange affection for Cas, so she sometimes goes easy on him. It’s something he’s grateful for.

   
His first class is Calligraphy, which is also spelling. They kneel at their desks for an hour, writing their words over and over again in curling script. Daniel gets bored and whines so he’s punished. Everyone else is still and quiet as they do their work, they know better.

   
Next he has sewing. They spend thirty minutes making the smallest, evenest stitches that they possibly can by hand, then another half hour working on the machines. He pricks himself on accident once. Alpha Rachel gives him a stern glare and scribbles something on her clipboard. She’s docking his food, he knows. He sighs inwardly, all his hard work from yesterday undone.

   
Next the omegas go to breakfast in the mess hall. It’s cold and gray, with long, uniform tables stretching across the room, no chairs.

   
Across one wall is a counter, behind it are the food dispensers. Cas goes to the beginning of the line and punches his number into the small black box that sits at the head of the counter. It’s 451, of course. He knows it by heart. And even if he didn’t, it’s branded on the inside of his left wrist.

   
The black box let’s out a series of chirps, and the dispensers begin to spit out food onto a plate moved along by a small conveyor belt.  
He doesn’t get much: a banana, a plain piece of toast, and a small cup of apple juice. He takes it and goes to the nearest table, where he kneels to eat his food. The omegas are all quiet, they eat and that’s all. There’s no chitchat, no gossiping. They eat quickly, put their trays into an outgoing conveyor, and line up by the door. Alpha Zachariah comes in five minutes later and barks, “Follow!” and they do.

   
With him, they do Dining Room Etiquette and Ballroom Dancing.  
Then they have their cooking class with Alpha Ava, but they’re not allowed to eat any of the food. They never are, and it takes all of Cas’ self control not to break the rules and sneak a taste. The omegas are never allowed anything that looks this tasty, only fruits, vegetables, and a small amount of bread and fish. It’s to keep their slim physic, they’re told.

   
Afterward they care for high tech, extremely lifelike dolls in their Care of Children class. Cas is usually very good at this class, but today he trips on his way to the changing simulation table and drops his doll.

   
He can practically hear all the air get sucked out of the room. Everyone’s eyes are on him. The entire room is silent. When Cas looks up, Alpha Lilith is glowering at him.

   
"451!" She snaps. "Are you aware that, had that been a real child, you might have just _killed it_?”

   
Cas swallows. “I- I tripped.”

   
"Oh, and that’s supposed to be better is it?!" She snaps. "And I _did not_ give you permission to talk, 451!”

   
Cas takes a step back from her wrath. She snaps her fingers once. “Get the rice.”

   
Cas’ breath speeds with panic. “B- but-“

   
The glare Lilith sends his way is enough to make _anyone_ balk. “451.”

 She growls. “If I hear _one more word_ out of you, I _will_ be reporting it. As it is, I’m _also_ docking your lunch. Now. _Get_. _The._ _Rice._ ”

   
Cas walks on shaky legs to the large bucket next to the classroom door. It’s filled to the brim with dry grains of uncooked rice. Cas gets a handful and spreads it on the floor next to his feet. Then, slowly, under the watchful eye of Lilith, he kneels on the rice.

   
It’s awful, hundreds of tiny points of pressure on his knees and shins. They press cruelly into his skin and bone and there’s no relief. Seconds in, he’s already _very_ afraid that he’s going to cry. He can see his peers casting him sympathetic glances, Lilith smirking meanly. Crying will only get him into more trouble, so his clenches his jaw and balls his hands into fists and he stays there.

   
Lilith continues to teach around him, acting as though he isn’t there, and he’s there for the entire hour. By the end he’s weak and red eyed. At the end of the class Lilith snaps her fingers again.

   
"Rise." She tells Cas. He stands on shaking legs. Some of the rice has imbedded itself extremely far into his legs. Some of the tiny points are even bleeding. The rice falls to the floor with a quiet patter. "Clean up your mess." She snaps. "The rest of you can go." She tells the others. They filter out quietly.

   
Cas scoops up the rice and puts it back into the barrel, careful to get every grain. When he’s done he stands in front of Lilith. “You may go, 451.” She says dismissively. “But I expect better behavior from you.”

   
"Yes, Alpha." Cas bows. "Thank you, Alpha."

   
After that he has Color Coordination, Event Planning, and Flower Arranging classes. He goes through them in a blur, unable to concentrate because of the pain in his legs. He makes more than one mistake, but thankfully the other teachers are more apt to simply dock his food instead of giving the rice punishment.

   
By the time lunch rolls around, Cas is miserable and it’s taking most of his energy not to break down crying. He should know better, he should be used to this. He’s been here all his life, for god’s sake.

   
He’s messed up so much today that all he gets for lunch is a small cup of soup, his stomach protests loudly. It helps just enough though, takes the edge off of his hunger.

   
After lunch they have Singing, Piano, Art, Dancing, and French classes. He doesn’t do quite so bad at these.

   
Supper is a relief, he even gets a whole meal. A bowl of vegetable stew, a thick slice of nutty bread, steamed broccoli, and ginger tea.  
He feels much better afterward, which is good because has classes to go.

   
His evening classes fall under the category of How to Please Your Alpha. They’re not so bad, they’re mostly taught by betas, so the omegas are less likely to be punished.

   
First he has his Oral Pleasure class, where he sucks off a well-endowed dummy until the thing squirts a come-substitute down his throat.

   
Next is Anal Pleasure, which is mostly on how to stretch yourself to be ready for your alpha, how to keep tight, the right ways to squeeze around your alpha, how to take your alpha without any prep if he so pleases.

   
The Anal Pleasure class also teaches the omegas how to be silent if that’s what they’re alphas want, and what sounds to make if their alphas want them to be loud. Cas has gotten quite good at moaning convincingly.

   
His last class of the day is Coming on Command. He does good again today, and when he’s sent on his way he’s feeling a little better. And tomorrow he doesn’t have any classes, it’s Show Day.


	2. Chapter 2

Sam drums his finger on the steering wheel idly, watching the scenery slide by.  

  
"Are you sure we’re going the right way?" He wonders. "We’re in the middle of _nowhere_.”

   
"Yeah, this is the way." Says Jess. "The map says it should be right _there_ , there it is!”

   
Sam turns into an enormous parking lot, packed with sleek cars. The building attaches is gigantic and looming. It’s all gray, concrete, harsh. He gazes up sceptically as he parks.

   
"This… isn’t how I thought it would look. Are you sure this is a good idea?"

   
Jess is frowning up at the building too. “I… think so. My friend Marge said that they’re basically like live-in maids.”

   
Sam takes a deep breath, then let’s it out. “Okay, let’s do this.” He pushes his door open and quickly steps out.

   
The two of them approach the building warily, feet crunching on the concrete softly.

   
At the door a tall man in a suit stands with a clipboard. “Names and ID.” He says as they approach.

   
"Um, Sam and Jessica Winchester?" Sam offers, pulling out his license. Jess does the same.

   
The man writes their names down and then nods. “Go ahead.”

   
Sharing a bewildered look, the couple slips through the steel doors. Inside is an enormous, white room. Standing on pedestals in dozens of straight rows are… children. From toddlers up to what looks to be about fourteen, they stand straight-backed and completely still, each dressed only in a pale gray shift. In front of each pedestal in an info-chart, standing about chest height. People bustle about, inspecting the children.

   
"Umm…" Says Sam.

   
Jess looks confused, but she starts forward. She’s immediately intercepted by a thin, sharp faced man in a black suit.

   
"Hello there!" He oozes. "Welcome to the Harrison Omega Training Center, are you looking for anything specific?"

   
"Um," Jess falters, glancing back at Sam. "we’re looking for some sort of… companionship. For my brother-in-law."

    
Sam steps forward. “He lives on his own and he’s been a bit depressed lately. We’ve both got full-time jobs, so we can’t visit him as much as we’d like. We’d just, well, we’d like for there to be someone to keep him company, watch out for him, maybe help him keep his place clean.”

   
The man is giving them a skeptical look, but he nods. “I think I know what you’re looking for.” He says. He turns away and beckons them to follow.  
He shows them down three rows of Omegas, and stops at the fourth row.   
"I suggest the omegas in this row." He tells them. "These are the more _full service_ types. They can cook, clean, entertain, basically anything you need them to do.”

   
Jess nods and looks up at Sam. “Yeah,” she says. “that sounds like what we need.”

   
"I’ll just let you browse, then. If you need any help, I’ll be right over there." He slinks away.

   
Sam let’s out a breath and raises his eyebrows. “Well, he was creepy.”

   
Jess laughs breathily, nodding. She looks down the row of omegas. “This feels weird.” She tells Sam. “I mean, I know a lot of people who have them but… my family never had one and I’ve never actually bought one myself. I don’t know, is this weird?”

   
Sam purses his lips. “I don’t know.” He says honestly. “But Dean needs help and I think this our best shot.”

   
"Yeah." Jess concedes. "Yeah, you’re right."

   
Looking at the omegas is strange, they stand completely still and stiff, not making a peep or moving a muscle. They seem more like statues than children.

   
"What about this one?" Jess asks,  gesturing toward a red-haired female. "The chart says she’s fluent in five languages."

   
"What would Dean need five languages for?" Sam asks incredulously.

   
Jess frowns at him. “I don’t know, just telling you our options.”

   
They go through the row slowly, inspecting each omega, but none of them seem _right_. They just don’t have that certain _something_. They don’t find what they’re looking for until the very end.

   
Three omegas from the end of the row, there’s a small, black haired boy. He’s nine years old, the chart says, but he looks younger. He has bright blue eyes and a slim figure and Sam immediately just _knows_ that this is the right one.

   
"Jess." He calls his wife over. She comes immediately. When he gestures at the omega boy, standing rigidly, she smiles and nods.

   
"Yes." She says. "This seems like the right one, doesn’t it?"

   
They don’t even bother to read the omega’s chart, they just go to find the salesman from before.

   
There’s a bit of paperwork, but not too much, and they’re given a free collar, a book about omega training, and a copy of the omega’s chart so that they’ll know his skills. Then, the man goes to get the boy.


	3. Chapter 3

Someone has bought him. The handlers are leading him off of the platform and toward a smiling couple and they look nice enough but Cas can’t keep himself from shivering with fear. He’ll be a good omega, of course he will, this is what he’s been training for his whole life. This is what he’s _meant_ for. He’s still scared though, and he can’t seem to talk himself out of it. What if they’re like Alpha Lilith? What if they’re cruel and angry? Or worse? Sure, some of the instructors at the Harrison Center are sometimes harsh, but at least here he knows what he’s getting into, who to tread softly around.

   
Cas shakes himself, mentally. It’s not his place to think such things. His alpha, or alphas, will be what they will be. There’s no telling, and it makes no difference. Cas is here to serve, and serve he will, no matter what.

   
When he nears his new owners he bows low, when he straightens back up he presses the tips of his pointer and middle finger to his lips, then let’s his hand fall.

   
"What’s that?" Wonders the woman. She’s smaller, thin and young with beautiful golden hair and a nice face.

   
"An omega greeting." Says the handler.

   
The woman giggles softly. “Oh dear, I’m sorry. I’ve never known an omega before. What should I do back?”

   
"No reciprocation is necessary." Says the handler. "And your omega doesn’t expect to be deigned with one. If you’re unsure, do whatever you think is right, you are the alpha, your opinion is what matters."

   
"Oh." Says the woman, her smile slips a bit. "Well, hmm." She leans down to Cas’ height. “I’m Jess, and this is Sam.” She tells him.

Cas isn’t sure what he should do, so he says nothing. Then, after a moment, the man – Sam? - speaks up. He’s enormous, a monster. He towers over everyone else in the room. He’s got longish, floppy brown hair, a strong jaw, and hazel eyes that crinkle at the edges.

   
"He sure is a quiet little guy." Sam says.

   
"Your omega will not speak unless told to do so." The handler says.

   
"Oh." Says Sam.

   
They have several long moments of silence, thick and tense with something Cas can’t quite identify, before the handler clears his throat. “Would you like to take your omega home?”

   
"Oh, yes!" Says the woman named Jess. "Thank you. Does he need to… get anything?"

   
The handler shakes his head. “He has no belongings.” He assures them.  
They’re both frowning now, and looking at him funny, and Cas wonders how it is that he has managed to make his new owners frown before they’ve even left the Training Center.

   
"Alright." Says Jess, holding out her hand toward him, "Come on, then."

   
Cas stares at the hand, what is he meant to do with this? Is he supposed to give her something? He doesn’t have anything. A tight knot of panic begins to grow in his chest, he’s going to be punished and he doesn’t even know what for! He’s entering a whole frightening world of unknowns, rules he doesn’t understand, questions he can’t answer.

   
The woman lowers her hand after a moment, a confused look on her pretty face. “That’s alright.” She says. “I’m sure you’re old enough not to get lost.” She smiles.

   
Cas sees the handler’s fingers twitch, and knows that the man is refraining from backhanding him in front of clients. He breathes a silent sigh of relief that he’s being spared this once, surely there is much punishment to come.

“Come on.” Jess says again, half turning away. She still seems friendly, but it could be a ruse. Cas takes a step toward her and is rewarded with a smile. The man and woman stay close, not walking far ahead of Cas, and he is grateful. His legs are very short and he would surely have fallen behind and provoked their wrath if they had been walking at full speed. He hurries to keep up, but when they exit the big doors, he stops short.

It’s so bright, brighter than anywhere he’s ever been before. He blinks back the light that stabs at his eyes like knives. Smells assault his nose, so many, so different from the simple sterile smell of the Center. He smells the wind, sweet and mellow. The sharp rocks that poke at his feet, tangy and mineral. The dirt, smelling like the color gray and the base of everything. The most wonderful smell is the trees. They’re not close, but he can see them in between blinking back the light. They smell like sun, like piece, like good dreams. He takes a deep breath, and instantly goes dizzy from the heaviness of it all. He hasn’t even realized that he’d stopped until he hears voices again.

“What’s wrong, dear?” Wonders a voice close by. When Cas opens his eyes he finds Jess very close to him, looking at him. Cas wonders if she is talking to him. But she said “dear”, and he doesn’t know what that means. He says nothing.

“He doesn’t have shoes, Jess.” Says the big man.

Jess’ hands fly to her mouth. “Oh I am such an _idiot_!” She says. “I can’t believe I almost made him walk barefoot out here! Here, come on, I’ll carry you.” She stretches out her hands to Cas, but he still isn’t sure what she wants. Carry him? Why would she carry him? Is this a test? He takes a step onto the rocks and finds that, although they do hurt his feet, he’s endured much worse. He takes another step to show the woman that he can walk on his own, he doesn’t require assistance. Before he can get far though, a pair of large hands scoop him up. It’s Sam, and Cas immediately goes still.

The man carries him across the parking lot, weaving through cars and around other patrons, despite the fact that Cas has shown them that he was perfectly capable of walking on the rocks.

They come to a shiny red car and the man opens the back door and sets Cas inside. Cas looks around, he’s never been in a car before. He’s heard mention of them, of course, and he’s seen pictures, but he’s never been inside one. It smells odd, a flat scent he can’t quite place. As Cas looks around the big man leans over him and does something odd, pulling a long, thin bit of stiff fabric out of one side of the seat and crossing it over Cas’ waist to connect it with the other side. Sam pulls away, smiles at Castiel, and closes the door. Seconds later he’s in the driver’s seat next to the woman.

Cas works to keep himself quiet when the thing roars to life and they jerk into movement, but he can’t help a small whimper that slips between his lips.

“Are you alright, sweetheart?” Jess wonders, leaning over her seat into the back.

Cas says nothing.

“You can talk, honey.” Jess says.

“I am alright.” Cas says finally, and Jess beams.

“You talked!” She nudges Sam. “He talked! What’s your name?”

“My designation is 451.” Cas tells her.

She frowns. “No no, your name. Do you have a name?”

Cas hesitates. Of course he has a name, his very first form of identification. He remembers it from before he even came to the HOTC. But it’s not something he’s supposed to talk about, he’ll be punished. But, then, Jess asked him a question, and she and Sam are his alphas now.

“Cas.” He says finally, quietly.

“Oh, what a sweet name!” Jess coos. “Do you want a coloring book for the drive?”

Cas tilts his head to the left, confused.

“You know.” Jess tries to explain. “A coloring book? You color? With crayons?”

Cas understands the words on their own, but not in that order.

Jess’ smile slides into a concerned frown. “He doesn’t know what a coloring book is, Sam.” She says softly.

“Well, why don’t you show him?” Sam suggests.

Jess begins to rifle around in a bag that sits at her feet. She brings out a large, floppy book and a small, brightly colored box.

“Here,” She says, passing the book and the box back to Cas. The book falls open in his lap, revealing badly drawn outlines of a large flower on one page and a dinosaur on the other. “You color in the outlines.”

“Why?” Cas wonders.

   
“Well, it’s fun. And it helps pass the time.” Jess tells him.

Cas blinks. “Alright.” He says.

For the next twenty minutes he diligently fills in each outline. He doesn’t like the crayons, they feel odd and waxy on his fingers, but he doesn’t complain. He knows what most of the pictures are supposed to be, and he painstakingly recreates each one. When he’s done, he closes the book and sets it on his lap

“Oh, are you done already?” Jess asks. “That was fast. May I see?”

Of course she can see, she’s Alpha. She was the one who gave him this task in the first place. He hands her the book and the box of waxy  crayons.

“Oh.” She says, flipping through the book. “Oh, wow. These are very… accurate.” She turns and smiles at him. “Good job!” She tells him.

Cas feels a small bloom of joy in his chest, he’s done good! He isn’t letting her down. She has _told him_ that he has done a good job. This is good. This is very good.

“Thank you, Alpha.” He says.

“Call me Jess.” She insists.

Cas balks, suddenly on uneven ground again. He can’t call her _Jess_. He just can’t. She’s _Alpha_. He must show her respect. But he shouldn’t disobey her either. It could make her angry. He swallows.

“Yes… Alpha Jess.” He says finally. It’s a bit of an odd compromise, and he’s not particularly happy with it, but it will have to do.

Jess frowns, and Cas’ stomach tightens in his belly. He’s made her angry, he knew he would. He always fails. But the backhand never comes, nor does the tongue lashing or the promise of a belt or whip. She just settles back into her seat. Cas finds it all extremely odd.

“Do you want a book to read or something?” Jess asks him after a few minutes.

“No, Alpha Jess. Thank you, Alpha Jess.” Cas tells her.

“Well alright. You just let me know if you need anything, alright?”

Cas nods.

For the next half hour Cas studies his new owners from the back seat. They’re young, and he thinks that he’s probably their first omega. Since they seem to be mated, Cas thinks that he _probably_ wont be called upon to please either of them sexually, which makes the hard knot in his stomach unwind a little, but it’s not a sure thing. Their car is small, but clean. Cas can’t tell anything else from it, because of his lack of car knowledge. The ring on Jess’ finger looks nice though, large and sparkling, and Cas thinks that they’re probably well off.

“So, Cas.” Sam says as they drive from the countryside to the city. “What do you like to do?”

Cas furrows his brow, even though Sam can’t see him. What does he like to do? What kind of a question is that? “I like to please my alpha.” He says after a moment’s contemplation. “… Alphas.” He amends.

“Well, alright, but I mean, do you have a hobby? Do you… play a sport? Or, do you like toy cars? Sidewalk chalk? Television?” Sam wonders.

“We do not have television at The Center.” Cas tells him. “Or cars, or sidewalk chalk.”

He sees Sam glance back at him in the mirror. He looks perplexed. Normally, Cas would stay silent here, but Sam seems to be searching for a specific answer, so he tries something else. “I can sew, and am good at flower arranging. I am very good at keeping house, cooking, and entertaining. I can play piano, speak three languages, and have good marks in all Pleasing Your Alpha classes.”

“That’s… well, I suppose some of those… could be hobbies.” Sam says oddly.

Then they’re turning into the suburbs, passing rows and rows of houses that all look exactly the same. They pull up a short driveway next to one, and Sam turns off the car.

“Well, here we are.” He says.

“Would you like to see inside?” Jess asks excitedly.

“Yes, Alpha Jess.” Cas says. “Thank you, Alpha Jess.”

“You don’t need to do that, honey.” She says softly.

Cas isn’t sure exactly what she’s talking about, so he says nothing, but follows the two of them out of the car. The yard is very nice, uniform and green. There is  a small flower patch separating the yard from the little concrete porch. He feels jittery and strange as he follows them inside, this is the start of his new life. Everything is different now. He’s terrified.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well I did absolutely nothing today, so I went ahead and wrote the next chapter!  
> Here you go.

Cas stands in the hall, curling his toes in the soft carpet. It’s an odd sensation, the only places The Center had carpet were in the alpha offices, and none of them were as soft as this. It unbalances him a little, he tips sideways trying to get used to the give of the floor.

In front of him, Sam is taking off his big shoes and setting them on a rack. Cas watches him, the way he pulls at the strings. Even bent in half, Sam is so tall. Cas is a little afraid he’ll get stepped on.

The hall smells nondescript, clean and a little lemony. The scent tickles his nose and he fights back a sneeze.

“Are you hungry?” Comes Jess’ voice from a little further down the hall. “I was thinking we could go to The Gap and pick you up a few outfits, and then maybe grab something to eat if you feel up to it.”

“Whatever you wish, Alpha Jess.” Cas says, once he realizes she’s talking to him.

“We probably should.” Sam says in his rumbling voice. “He needs some real clothes.”

Jess nods. “Can’t have him walking around in that thin little thing. And we should get him shoes! Oh, kid shoes are so cute! We could get him some little sneakers, or some tiny dress shoes!” She squeals. “Ugh, _so cute_.”

Sam laughs, and it startles Cas. He’s not used to the sound of people laughing. “I had no idea you were so into baby shoes.” He says, amusement coloring his voice.

“They’re _so tiny_ , Sam!” Jess explains.

“You have a problem.” Sam teases.

Jess huffs. “It’s only a problem when we _don’t_ have an adorable little omega to buy them for!” She tells him.

Sam snorts. “Yeah, okay.”

Cas watches the whole exchange silently, trying to figure out what they’re talking about. He’s not very good at navigating the waters of human emotion, the strange nuances, how a lilt of the voice here or there can cause an entire sentence to take on another meaning. He knows about it in theory, but he continues to fail at recognizing the differences in practice. He gathers, though, that they’re… going someplace for food? He feels like he should tell them again that he is perfectly capable of cooking, but he doesn’t want to talk out of turn, so he says nothing.

-o-

Cas does not like The Gap. He doesn’t like it at all. It’s so loud, full of screaming children and grumbling parents, and the smells here are _not_ good ones, sweat and spit and stale breath. The air is hot and thick and he feels like he’s going to choke on it.

Sam carries him in the store since he still doesn’t have shoes, and it’s really the only relief Cas gets. He feels like he should protest, he’s perfectly capable of walking on his own, but Sam is the only thing separating Cas from the loud, smelly masses and he can’t help but press himself closer to the man. It’s a little nice, even. Sam smells like laundry detergent and aftershave and it helps calm Cas’ nerves.

Jess keeps holding up little shirts and pants and shoes and socks and asking Cas what he thinks but he has no opinions. She keeps frowning softly and Cas is worried that he’s disappointing her. She gets several sets of clothes though, and after they pay she sends Cas into the bathroom with one of them.

The stalls are a mystery, at The Center the bathrooms were communal, but there were no stalls, no one had anything to hide from anyone else there. Cas just changes in front of the sink, stripping off his little gray shift and letting it drop to the floor. He knows how to put clothes on, he’s not stupid, but he hasn’t actually _worn_ clothes in about seven years. He doesn’t like it. The stiff denim jeans feel scratchy on his legs, and as soon as he pulls them on he feels like his movement is limited a great deal. It’s like having a second, very thick, very unnecessary skin. The shirt is softer, and he doesn’t mind it as much. It’s black and has a picture of a red truck on the front. He slips his feet into the red sneakers, but the strings dangle uselessly and he doesn’t know what to do with them so he just tucks them inside.

When he comes out of the bathroom, Jess clasps her hands to her chest. “Oh, doesn’t he look _so sweet_?” She exclaims.

“Very handsome.” Sam agrees kindly. “But you didn’t tie your shoes, buddy.”

Cas looks down at the strings, then back up at Sam.

“Do you… know how to tie your shoes?” Sam wonders.

Cas shakes his head.

“So, you can speak three languages… but you don’t know how to tie your shoes?” Sam asks.

Cas feels blood rush to his cheeks. Stupid! He’s so _stupid_! How does he not know how to do this one simple thing? Sure, the omegas don’t wear shoes at The Center, but the way Sam is acting, it’s unusual for him not to know. He feels like such an idiot, he’s done nothing but fail his new alphas all day. He doesn’t realize he’s shaking until Jess’ sharp voice pierces through his veil of self-loathing.

“Sam!” She snaps. “You’re upsetting him!”

Sam looks confused. “Ah, I didn’t mean to… sorry.”

But Jess is already scooping Cas up, holding him close to her. “It’s alright, sweetheart.” She assures him, running a soothing hand up and down his back. “Plenty of people can’t tie their shoes, we’ll show you how, it’s not hard.”

Cas lets her scent wash over him, vanilla and clean lemon. She smells like a mother, he realizes abruptly. Not _his_ mother, but what he always thought a mother might smell like. He shuts his eyes tight and focuses on stilling his treacherous, trembling limbs.

“Sorry, buddy.” He hears Sam say. “Didn’t mean to upset you.” A big hand comes to pat him on the shoulder and he can’t keep himself from flinching away from it.

He realizes his mistake as soon as he makes it, of course, flinching will only bring more punishment, but Sam just takes his hand away slowly.

 

The restaurant is not quite as bad as The Gap, but Cas still doesn’t like it. It’s loud as well, and while the smells here are less terrible, they’re still an assault on his nose. Since he has shoes now, they let him walk, but his legs are still very short and he has to run to keep up. To their credit, every time Sam or Jess realize that Cas is lagging behind, they stop and wait for him to catch up. It’s a bit baffling, he doesn’t know what to make of it.

When they’re finally seated, they’re at a table. It’s tall and Cas has some trouble getting up onto his chair, but he gets it in the end. He sits catty-corner from Jess, across from Sam. When the waiter comes to take their order, Cas begins to panic again. Is he supposed to order? Is someone else going to order for him? Maybe he’s just supposed to wait while Sam and Jess eat. He doesn’t know what very many of the things on the menu are, anyway. Some of them he’s learned about, some of them he’s made in cooking class, but he doesn’t know what _any_ of this tastes like. It’s safest, he figures, to assume that he won’t be eating. He sets the menu back onto the table and folds his hands in his lap. But then, everyone is looking at him.

“Do you know what you want to eat?” Jess prompts.

Cas swallows, panicking again, he has no idea how to proceed. Sam, thankfully, takes pity on him.

“What about macaroni and cheese?” Sam asks. “Sound good?”

Cas breathes a sigh of relief. “Yes, Alpha.” He says. “Thank you, Alpha.”

Sam smiles, but when he turns back to the waiter, he finds the man frozen.

“He’s an _omega_?” The man asks.

Sam nods.

The man sputters. “He can’t be in here _without a collar_!” The man snaps. “You’re going to have to collar him, or leave.”

Jess seems taken aback, she gasps and the frown returns to her face full force. Sam puts a hand on her shoulder. “I think we still have the one from The Center in the car.” He tells her. “I’ll go get it.”

He stands and hurries away while Jess and the waiter glare at each other.

To be honest, Cas had wondered why they hadn’t already collared him. It’s one of the most basic signs of ownership and he has been told it’s one of the first things new owners do. When Sam comes back with the collar, Jess and the waiter are still going full force. Sam clips the thing securely around Cas’ neck, and the air is almost instantly lighter. The waiter’s smile is friendly again as he trots off to put in their order. Cas, for his part, feels relieved. So far, Sam and Jess haven’t punished him at all and, while that may change, it seems like a good situation for now. Cas can’t complain. The collar means that no one can mistake him for an unowned omega and take him away. The collar _is scratchy_ though, rough and unyielding, he resists the urge to pull at it.

While they wait for the food, Sam and Jess talk almost exclusively about how rude the waiter was. They try to bring him into the conversation a few times, but he stays silent.

When the food finally comes, the smells hit him like a wall. The plate that’s placed in front of him has a strange, yellowy food on it. He sniffs at it, but can’t make out what it’s supposed to be.

“Do you like macaroni and cheese?” Sam asks from across the table.

Ah, yes. Macaroni and cheese. Cas remembers Sam ordering it for him now. The cheese does explain the smell. He wonders if it’s any good. He has never had cheese before, nor macaroni.

“I don’t know.” He tells Sam.

“Have you never had macaroni and cheese?” Sam asks, bewildered.

Cas shakes his head.

“Jesus, what do they feed you?” The big man wonders, spearing his own food with a fork.

“Fruits, grains, and vegetables.” Cas answers promptly.

“Ugh.” Says Jess. “I can’t _imagine_ living without chocolate cake.” She thinks for a moment. “I’d probably die.” She concludes.

Cas stabs his fork into the pile of odd yellow stuff, and when he pulls it out there are clumps sticking to it. He brings it gingerly to his mouth to taste. The first bite is gooey, sticky. The clumps are somehow both tasteless, and gross. He squashes the urge to spit the stuff out, keeping a neutral expression on his face.

“You don’t have to eat it if you don’t like it.” Jess says, because apparently Cas’ neutral face isn’t as good as he’d hoped.

He nods, but keeps eating. Of _course_ he has to eat it. They brought him here and ordered his food for him, he’s not going to insult them by not eating what they’ve picked out for him. He eats it slowly, trying not to concentrate on the sticky feeling of it on his gums. He can feel it settling strangely in his stomach, much heavier than the food he usually eats.

Sam and Jess talk less now that they have their food. They eat and make appreciative sounds, but make much less conversation. Cas is a little grateful, their attempts at talking to him have been odd, and they leave him feeling off balanced. By the time Cas finishes his food, his stomach is feeling heavy and a little upset. He ignores it, keeping his back strait and his hands folded in his lap.

The drive back to Sam and Jess’ house is jarring on Cas’ stomach, and by the time they get there he’s worried he might throw up. He walks shakily up to the house behind his alphas, pressing an anxious hand to his stomach. What is he supposed to do now? This has never happened to him before. Should he tell Sam and Jess? Should he wait it out?

He decides, as he follows them through the front door, that he won’t bother them. He can handle this, he’s sure.

-o-

He can’t handle this. He’s sitting, straight-backed, in a soft chair his alphas’ living room, and his stomach hurts so much he thinks he might cry. Sam and Jess are there too, sitting close together on the loveseat, watching the television. The television is very interesting and Cas would like to know more about it, but he’s having a lot of trouble concentrating because of his stomach. Sam showed Cas where the bathroom is earlier, but Cas isn’t sure if he’s allowed to use the same one as his alphas. So he just sits there, gritting his teeth, until Jess notices.

“Are you alright, honey?” She wonders.

Cas opens his mouth to assure her that he is, in fact, fine, but instead a whimper slips past his lips. Jess is up and kneeling in front of his chair in seconds.

“What’s wrong?” She asks, pressing her hand against his forehead. She quickly notices his hand pressed low on his stomach. “Is your stomach bothering you?”

Cas gives up on not bothering them with this. He nods.

“Do you need to go to the bathroom?”

Cas nods again.

“Okay, come on sweet.” She scoops him up quickly and carries him to the bathroom in the hall. “You… you know how to use the toilet, right?” She asks cautiously.

Cas nods furiously, and when Jess sets him down just inside he dashes to the toilet. He hears the door click closed behind him and through the door, Jess says, “Let me know if you need anything.”

“Yes, Alpha.” Cas manages.

-o-

The bathroom is nice, _very_ nice. Cas is confused as to why he’s being allowed to use a bathroom this nice, but he’s not going to complain at the moment. He feels quite a bit better now, although he still feels shaky. As he goes to wash his hands in the sink, he freezes. Because there he is, his reflection, in the mirror. He cant remember the last time he saw his reflection and he looks… different than he thought he would: Pale, wane. He reaches out and presses his fingers to the mirror where his reflection stares back at him. He remembers himself quickly, pulling his hand away and wiping the new fingerprints with a napkin.

When he comes back out of the bathroom, he’s finally feel well enough to observe his surroundings. The hallway is simple, white walls and tan carpet with a coat-rack near the door and a little table about halfway down that holds a phone and a vase of flowers.

The living room is warm and light, with more whites and tans and many trinkets arranged nicely on shelves. It feels homey, though. There’s an air of love that floats about the place and works to put Cas at ease. He sits down in his chair again. After a few minutes, he feels the need to ask, “What would you like me to do?”

He knows he isn’t supposed to speak unless he’s told, but he doesn’t want his alphas to think he’s lazy.

“You can just watch the movie with us.” Jess tells him.

Cas frowns. “I can… I can begin cleaning, if you’d like, Alpha.”

“Oh, you don’t need to do anything, honey. Just relax.”

Cas’ hands clench tightly on the armrests of his chair, and the knot is back in his stomach, but this time it isn’t caused by gross food. This time, it’s anxiousness and uncertainty again. If they don’t want him to clean, then why do they want him? What good is he? None, that’s what. His purpose it so serve his alphas, and they aren’t letting him do anything. He swallows dryly. He doesn’t like this, not at all. The Center wasn’t fun, but at least he knew what was going to happen to him there. He sits very still and quiet for the rest of the night, while the lights grow dim outside the windows and Jess begins to yawn.

When Sam announces that they’d better go to bed, Jess stretches and beckons Cas to follow her. He follows her down the hall, past a kitchen and the bathroom and another door, until they reach a door at the end. When she swings it own, Cas is greeted by a room painted painted a pale yellow. There’s a bed against one wall, covered by dark blue blankets.

“This is where you’ll stay tonight.” Jess tells him. She smiles, but her wording puzzles him. He shouldn’t ask, he really shouldn’t, but she has been so kind to him today and he doesn’t think she’ll punish him for asking. So he musters up his courage and asks,

“Tonight?”

“Well, yes. Dean is coming for a visit tomorrow and you’ll be going home with him.” Jess explains.

Cas freezes, and his confusion must be plain on his face because Jess frowns.

“Did we not… did we not tell you?” Her brows furrow in thought, a few seconds later her eyes go wide.

“Oh god!” He slaps her hand over her mouth. “We didn’t tell you!”

Cas continues to watch her in a confused silence.

“You… you aren’t staying with us.” She explains. “You’re going to be going home with my brother-in-law tomorrow.”

Panic blooms in Cas’ chest. “What did I do wrong?” He asks. “I can do better, I’m sure of it!”

Jess’ eyes go sad, she kneels down in front of him. “No, no. You’re doing fine, I promise. You’re doing great. But Sam and I, we don’t need an omega. Dean does. He’s… we’re worried about him. He just needs someone to look after him. We think you’d be just perfect for that!” She reaches out and touches her finger gently to Cas’ nose, she smiles softly.

Cas wants to cry, he knew it was too good to be true. This nice house and these nice alphas who haven’t punished him at all even though he keeps messing up, they’re not his. Not his house, not his alphas. Of course not.

He closes his eyes, takes a deep breath, and nods. He’ll be okay. It’s not his place to be upset. When he opens his eyes again, Jess is still looking at him.

“Come on.” She says, standing.

Cas follows her over to the bed, where there’s a pair of pajamas folded neatly on the cover, with little cartoon cactus printed on them.

“He’s a good man.” Jess says as she helps Cas change, unbuckling his collar and setting it on the bedside table. “A little rough around the edges, but good.” She picks him up and sets him on top of the bed, although he could have reached it himself. “He won’t treat you badly.”

A brief thought flashes across Cas’ mind. A terrible, treacherous thought that he shouldn’t be thinking. _What does she know_?! Is the thought, speeding rapidly by. What does she know about any of it?

He shakes his head, trying to dislodge his thoughts. In their place, goes the mantra: it’s not his place, it’s not his place. It repeats over and over again until the bad thought is drowned out.

“Yes, Alpha Jess.” He says, because she’s still an alpha, even if she’s not his. “Thank you Alpha, Jess.”

“It’ll be alright.” She says, tucking him under the soft blue blanket. “You’ll see.”

Cas closes his eyes and tries to concentrate on the bed, the softest thing he’s ever slept on. After a minute, Jess leaves, turning off the light as she goes.

In her absence, Cas sighs. What will happen, will happen, he tells himself. He snuggles further under the blanket, blissfully soft and smelling of detergent, determined to enjoy it while it lasts.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dean is kind of a jerk in this chapter, i'm very sorry.

When Dean opens his eyes, he sees the ceiling. It’s a horrible gray, cracking and chipping from years of neglect. He closes his eyes again. It’s too late though, the ugly yellow light of dawn is already streaming in through the curtains and stabbing at his eyelids. He groans and pulls his blanket up over head, which turns out to be a bad idea because he hasn’t washed it in a really long time and it just smells like… sweat and sadness. He’s supposed to go see Sam and Jess today, but he doesn’t want to get out of bed. Maybe… maybe if he just stays here, underneath the smelly blankets, everything will go away. Maybe if he pretends that nothing matters outside of his little bubble, nothing will.

But then, his phone buzzes on the nightstand. He ignores it. It buzzes again, and again. Dean sighs and reaches his hand out from under the blanket, scrabbling blindly at the nightstand. Finally, he makes contact. When he pulls the phone into his dark, musty cave, he sees that it’s Sam. He sighs and slides his thumb over the screen to answer.  
“Hello?” He says.

“ _Hey Dean._ ” Comes Sam’s voice from the other end. “ _You’re still coming over, right?_ ”

Dean scrunches his eyes close. “Yeah, yeah I’m still coming.” He says finally.

“ _Okay, good. It was getting kind of late so we weren’t sure._ ”

“Yeah,” Dean sighs. “I, uh, I’m on my way. Just… hit some… traffic.” He lies.

There’s a long pause on the other end. “ _You’re not out of bed yet, are you?_ ” Sam guesses.

“Of course I’m out of bed, Sam!” Dean says, throwing off his blankets and swinging his legs over the side of the mattress. “Jeez, it’s-” He looks at the clock on the side table. “ten o’ clock, of course I’m out of bed! Just running a little late, that’s all.”

“ _Yeah, okay. How, um, how are you doing today?_ ” Sam asks cautiously.

Dean rubs the sleep roughly out of his eyes. “’m doing fine, Sam. Now can I let you go so I can get moving?”

“ _So you_ were _in bed!_ ” Sam says triumphantly.

“Yeah, fine, I was in bed.” Dean bends down to rummage through the piles of dirty clothes on his floor. “You fuckin’ caught me. What do you want, a medal or something?”

He hears Sam sigh. “ _No, Dean. I just… we’re a little worried about you, that’s all._ ”

“Well I’m fine.” Dean declares, picking up the shirt that smells the least gross and a pair of pants with only minimal stains. “I’m gonna hang up now.”

“ _Fine. See you when you get here._ ”

“Yeah.” He hangs up.

-o-

Cas wakes up at five A.M. He dresses silently, snapping his stiff collar onto his neck, and slips out into the hall. When he listens at Sam and Jess’ door, he hears only light snoring. He tiptoes into the kitchen and surveys the area. Today, he’s going to prove his worth. He’s determined. When his new alpha comes, he’ll be sure to see how helpful Cas is. Everything is very tall, though. It could be a problem.

In the fridge, though, Cas finds everything he could hope for: milk, eggs, bacon, cheese, and various vegetables. Then he drags a chair from the small kitchen table over the counter so that he can scramble up and look in the cabinets. In them, he finds an amazing array of foods and spices, and he feels his heart drop as he remembers that he’s not staying here. Here where there’s lots of food and the bed is soft and Sam and Jess don’t punish him, even when he deserves it. He swallows back the sadness in his throat and begins to search the kitchen for mixing bowls, _this_ is something he’s sure he can do.

Eventually, the smell of Cas’ cooking pulls Sam and Jess from their room. They come into the kitchen, bleary-eyed, to find the boy standing on a chair so that he can reach the stove. Despite the handicap of his small stature, he’s flipping an omelet in a large skillet with ease, on the counter beside him is a tall stack of pancakes on a plate.

“Oh my.” Jess says.

Cas looks up, startled. He scrambles down off of the chair and gives a little bow toward them. “Good morning, Alpha Jess, Alpha Sam.”

“You didn’t need to do this, Cas.” Jess tells him.

“Don’t worry, Alpha. I will clean everything up and wash the dishes as soon as the food is finished.” He assures her.

“Oh, well, I meant that _I_ could have made breakfast, sweetheart. You could have slept in.”

Sam sniffs the air. “Did you make coffee?” He asks, perking up.

Cas looks at Jess, unsure what she’s saying here. Sleep in? Does that… mean something? Eventually, he gives up tying to figure it out. “Would you like to sit down, Alpha Jess? Alpha Sam?”

“Oh, we can get our own food, dear.” Jess laughs.

Cas frowns. Why would she get her own food? She is alpha. “Please sit, Alpha.” Cas says, growing a little bolder now. “I will bring you your breakfast.”

“Well, I don’t know if-”

“I’m gonna call Dean.” Sam says. “He should be here by now.” He steps out into the hall.

Jess turns her attention back to Cas. “You don’t need to serve us, Cas.” She says gently. “We can get our own food.”

Cas blinks up at her. He needs this. He _needs_ this. This is all he’s good for, caring for his alphas. “ _Please_ , Alpha!” He pleads.

Jess sighs and presses the heel of her hand to her temple. “Yes, alright. But I’m doing the dishes.”

“Alpha, I am perfectly capable of doing the dishes.” Cas tells her.

“You’ve done so much!” She protests. “You don’t need to do anything else.”

Cas purses his lips, he has done barely anything at all! “What else would you like me to do, then?” He wonders.

Jess smiles. “You don’t need to do _anything_. You can just relax.”

Cas doesn’t respond. If he’s not going to be staying here, maybe it doesn’t matter anyway. Oh, who is trying to kid? Of course it matters. But Jess isn’t budging, and Cas isn’t supposed to argue with alphas.

“Yes, Alpha Jess.” He says finally. “Thank you, Alpha Jess.”

She smiles at him, just as Sam comes into the room, tucking his phone into his back pocket.

“He’s on his way now.” He tells them.

“How is he doing?” Jess wonders, sitting down at the table. Sam follows her lead.

“I don’t know.” He says. “He said he was fine but… I just don’t know.”

Cas brings them each and omelet, and sets the stack of pancakes between them. He brings them syrup and mugs of coffee.

“Thanks, buddy.” Sam says, reaching out to ruffle his hair. Cas only stops himself from flinching away at the last second.

“I think having Cas around will help him.” Jess says, stabbing into her egg with a fork. “Have you eaten, Cas?” She asks.

Cas nods, he had a glass of water and a plain piece of toast earlier.

“He’s not going to be happy about it.” Sam mumbles.

“Well, he needs _something_. You and I don’t have time to keep an eye on him all the time and I don’t think he has any friends, that doesn’t leave many options, does it?”

Sam sighs. “You’re right, you’re right. Just, you know he’s going to be mad, don’t you?”

Jess rolls her eyes. “When isn’the mad about something?”

“Fair enough.” Sam takes a drink of his coffee. “You can come sit down, Cas.” He says, patting the chair next to his own. Cas comes over and slides quickly into the chair, feeling very good that he’s finally done something helpful. “He wasn’t like this when we were kids.” Sam continues. “He was a good big brother. It’s only since the accident that he got like this.”

“Yeah.” Jess taps her fork against her plate absently. “That’s what Bobby said.”

“When did you talk to Bobby?” Sam wonders.

“A while back.” Jess says, waving her fork. “Just before Christmas.”

“Bobby’s worried too then?” Sam asks.

“Everybody’s worried.”

The two of them pick at their food quietly while Cas sits, silently running over everything he has heard about his new alpha in his head. He knows that there is something wrong with his new alpha, although he doesn’t know what, just that everyone is worried about it, and he knows that the man is often angry. Honestly, it’s more what he expected out of an alpha. Not that that makes it better.

After a few minutes Cas hops out of his chair to put the extra food away. He turns the oven to warm and slides in the extra pancakes and eggs so that they’ll be warm when his alpha gets here. Then he goes to sit back down and fidget nervously for a while.

“Hey, it’ll be okay.” Sam says, noticing Cas’ fidgeting. “He’s a good guy.”

Cas holds back a frown. Jess said that too, but everyone also keeps saying how there’s something wrong with Dean. So, which is it? He doesn’t voice his concern, of course, he just clasps his hands tightly in his lap.

About ten minutes later, Cas hears the front door open, and then click closed.

“Hello?” A new voice floats from the entryway. “Sam?”

Sam leans back in his char. “In the kitchen!” He calls, wiping stray eggs from his mouth with a napkin.

Cas hears footsteps, and moments later a man darkens the doorway. Looking up at him, Cas feels equal parts excitement and dread. The man is tall, although he’s still a head shorter than Sam. He has broad shoulders and a strong jaw. He’s everything Cas has been taught that an alpha _is_ , and the thought sends an involuntary thrill through him. But then, there are dark circles beneath the man’s hard eyes, and his mouth is pursed into an unhappy frown. He doesn’t look like a nice person.

“I smell breakfast.” He says, and somehow it sounds like a complaint.

Cas scrambles down from his chair and runs to the stove to take out the food, rushing to slide it onto the table. After he gets the food laid out, he glances up to find the new man watching him. Cas gives a nervous little bow and touches the tips of his pointer and middle finger to his lips. Dean doesn’t acknowledge his greeting.

“You guys got an omega?” He says, eying Cas’ collar. “Didn’t really think you were the types.” He falls into the chair next to Jess, across from the one Cas was sitting in moments ago. “The fuck do you even need one for?” He glances around at the squeaky clean room.

“Well, you know, omegas are very useful.” Jess says lightly, glancing at Sam.

Sam nods and Dean glances between the two of them, squinting suspiciously. “Oookay.” He says slowly. “But what do _you_ need one for?”

Sam clears his throat and Jess starts to look around the room, as if searching for a new topic.

“Guys.” Dean says, voice growing hard.

Sam sighs. “We got him for you.” He blurts.

“What?” Dean demands.

“Now, look,” Sam raises his hands in front of himself in a placating manner, “We just think it would be good for you to have some help around the house.”

“You mean you want someone to spy on me!” Dean spits.

“That’s _not_ what I said!”

Dean leans back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest. “You can keep him.”

“Dean,” Jess pipes in. “You _need_ help.”

“I’m doing _fine_!” Dean insists.

“The last time we were over to your house there was mold growing in your refrigerator.” Sam says.

“There was a spill!”

“So have you cleaned it yet?”

“I… yes.”

Sam makes a face that speaks of disbelief. “No you haven’t.” He says.

“Fuck you, Sam!” Dean growls, leaning forward in his seat. He pushes away from the table, getting to his feet. “I don’t know why I even came over here.”

Sam rubs the heel of his hand over his mouth, but Jess gets out of her chair and catches Dean’s wrist before he can storm out. “We’re _worried_ about you, Dean.” She says softly. “We don’t think you should be alone. Especially not in that house.”

Cas can see Dean’s jaw working, muscles in his neck tightening involuntarily. “I’m doing fine.” He says again, but this time there’s no fire in his voice, no conviction.

“Alright.” Jess agrees, a little reluctantly. “But couldn’t you use a little help?”

“I don’t need an _omega_!” Dean insists.

“Oh, but he’s such a sweetheart! He made breakfast.” She motions to the food on the table that Dean hasn’t tried. “When was the last time you had a real meal?”

Dean swallows and glances down at the table.

“Why don’t you eat.” Jess coaxes. “And we can talk about this afterward.”

Slowly, Dean sits back down. He sighs and his shoulders slump like he’s had all the air let out of him. He brings a plate toward him and starts pulling pancakes and eggs onto it while Sam watches him warily, like he might bolt again at any second.

Dean eats aggressively, stabbing at his food like it has offended him personally, but he doesn’t hate it. Cas can tell, and his expression begins to soften a bit by the time he’s finished with his first pancake.

“This is pretty good.” He grunts after a while.

Jess smiles. “It’s _very_ good.” She says to Cas, who feels a flutter of appreciation at her praise.

Dean glances up at Cas. “Yeah. It’s good.” He reiterates before attacking his food again.

Really, it’s quite a bit more than Cas expected. He breathes a little sigh of relief. Dean _might_ not hate him.

The eggs, Cas thinks, are what changes Dean’s mind, because it’s just after he’s tried them that he speaks again. “I’m not going to babysit him.” He says.

“You wont have to!” Jess assures him. “He’s very helpful.”

Despite himself, Cas nods vigorously. He _is_. He is very helpful!

“If he gets in my way I’m taking him back.” Dean says around a mouthful of omelet. Cas’ heart plummets, and he clenches his fists under the table, vowing to do everything in his power to prove to Dean that he’s helpful.

“But you’ll give it a shot?” Sam asks.

Dean chews. “Yeah.” He says, and they all breathe a sigh of relief.

-o-

Dean stays the day, lounging around in the living room with Jess and Sam watching movies. Cas hovers near Dean, watching as everyone carefully avoids mentioning the man’s earlier outbursts. Cas works hard to be helpful, bringing the alphas drinks before they ask for them, hopping up to change the movie when the first one ends. Sometimes Jess says that he doesn’t have to do it, but sometimes she forgets and Cas feels a little better because she’s letting him do what he needs to.

Sometimes Dean looks at Cas, glancing over warily, like he’s expecting the boy to morph into a monster. When this happens, Cas just gives a little bow, hoping to convey respect.

Finally, as evening grows close and the movie on the big television comes to an end, Dean stands and stretches.

“I’d better be going.” He grumbles.

“Already?” Sam asks.

“Yeah.” Dean says in a final tone.

“I’ll get Cas’ things.” Jess says, pushing to her feet.

Cas follows her down the hall, where she puts the omega’s small amount of clothes, his papers, and the omega training book in a plastic bag. Before they go back to the living room Jess kneels and puts her hand gently on the boy’s shoulder.

“You’ll watch out for him, won’t you?”

“Of course!” Cas tells her, earnestly. He will do everything in his power to make sure his alpha is cared for.

Jess brushes her thumb over Cas’ cheek. “That’s a good boy.” She says, and Cas feels a happy flutter in his stomach.

She stands. “Come on, let’s go.”

When they walk back to the living room Dean and Sam are standing there, not talking.

“You ready?” Dean asks.

Cas nods.

“Alright. See you Sam, Jess.”

“Bye Dean.” Says Jess.

“You’ll visit again soon, right?” Sam asks.

Dean sighs. “Maybe. We’ll see.”

Sam frowns. “If you don’t come here we’ll have to come to your house, and I know how you hate visitors.”

“We’ll see.” Dean says again, moving out into the hall. He gives a wave as he opens the door and steps out into the world.

Dean’s car is big and it smells like something tangy that Cas can’t identify. It’s nothing like Jess and Sam’s car, it’s loud and aggressive and bulky. It’s very alpha.

They don’t speak during the car ride, Dean rolls down his window and turns the radio up loud and that’s all there is to it. The music isn’t like anything Cas has ever heard before. He doesn’t understand it, he can’t explain it, but… it moves him. He finds himself tapping his feet to the tune without really realizing he’s doing it. He stills as soon as he notices. The open window, too, is very interesting. Sweet new smells waft in constantly, and Cas catches himself sniffing at the air, trying to identify them. He feels the odd urge to roll down his own window and stick his head out.

They drive out of the city, into the country. They pass fields and fields and more fields, corn and beans and wheat. Cas even sees some animals the identifies as cows, large, spotted beasts that chew lazily on the grass. They go further and further until, finally, they pull off of the road onto a long, dirt lane. Woods line the lane, massive, ancient trees with innumerable scars over their thick bark. Their foliage is so thick that it blocks out the sun, so that by the time it reaches the lane it’s weak and gray.

They drive on this road for several minutes until, very suddenly, they come upon a clearing. The clearing is large and bright, flooded in all the sun the lane lacks. There is a lake, large and crystal blue, and beside it is a large house. It’s very big, actually. Two sprawling stories of Gothic Revival style cross gables and high arched Gothic windows. A large porch graces the front of the building, complete with a quaint little porch swing. As they draw closer though, it becomes apparent that the place is not well cared for. Ivy runs wild up one side of the house, and panels are falling off of the other. The paint, probably once a bright white, is now a dirty gray.

Dean parks right in front of the porch, and when Cas follows him up onto the porch, the wood creaks ominously. The front door wails loudly when it’s opened, and slams loudly behind them. Inside is just as bad, it’s dark and dusty and, even through the dark, Cas can see clutter everywhere.

Cas follows Dean up a set of creaky stairs, where the man finally stops.

“Look.” Dean says, addressing Cas for the first time. “I have to get up early tomorrow, so I’m going to bed. You can have the room at the end of this hall. I don’t care what you do. Just don’t wake me up.” And he stomps away, receding into one of the many doors that line the hallway.

Cas sighs. He has his work cut out for him. Oddly enough, he feels excited. There are so many things for him to do here! If he cleans this house, Dean will be sure to see that he’s a good omega. He can be for his alpha. For Dean.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's some depictions of gross stuff (rotten food and stuff) at the beginning of this chapter, just a heads up.

Cas stands at the end of the small twin bed in the little room at the end of the hall, clutching his small plastic bag of belongings to his chest. His own room. He has his _own room_. The bed is twice as big as his old one, and he has a closet and a window and even a _door_! It’s so much more than he’d hoped for. Heaps more. He reaches out and brushes his fingers over the dusty comforter, uncovering sprays of embroidered daisies under the thick layer of neglect. It’s beautiful. Just needs a little work, that’s all.

He sets his bag down on the bed and goes to look out the window, which he can just do if he stands on the tips of his toes. Out of it, he can see the back yard. It’s an enormous expanse of green, rolling acres of jade green grass and rainbow patches of wildflowers. It’s met, eventually, by more woods. They aren’t dark woods though, ominous and creaky, but full of light and birds and places to play. To the right of the house, Cas can see the lake, and he determines to take a close look later if he can. He’s never seen a lake before. Or woods, for that matter… or wildflowers. He hopes that maybe Dean will let him go outside once he has cleaned the house.

Cas slips out of his room and down the hallway, sneaking down the creaky stairs and stealing through the house like a ghost. He feels like a ghost, because this house looks, and feels, abandoned. There’s dust everywhere, thick layers of it on the furniture and the floor. The windows are opaque with dirt and grime, making any light that manages to find its way in take on a dusky gray color.

When he enters the kitchen, Cas has to fight the urge to gag. It’s absolutely disgusting. Dishes, moldy and forgotten, are piled one atop another to form precarious towers in the sink. The small kitchen table is heaped with old food, open containers of takeout and leftovers and half-eaten sandwiches. Flies buzz eagerly around the mouldering treats. The floor is sticky to the touch, covered with spills of flour, sugar, macaroni, and various spots that Cas assumes were drinks. The counters are in a similar state, looking like no one has done a thing to clean them in ages. When he gets to the refrigerator, Cas really does gag. The smell that hits him when he opens the big white door is possibly the worst thing he’s ever encountered. Everything inside is rotten: bread, butter, sandwich meat, cool whip, smokey links, a container of ham. All of it, moldy and smelling the inside of a particularly nasty dumpster. The only thing that isn’t bad is a case of white-canned beer sitting in the bottom. Cas snaps the door shut and has to leave the room for a moment to compose himself.

When he comes back, he steels himself and looks in the cabinets under the sink. Sure enough, the bottom is covered in rat droppings and small shreds of paper. He does, though, find some cleaning supplies. Clorox wipes, 2 sponges, dish soap, a half a bottle of window cleaner, and an unopened jug of bleach. It isn’t much, but it’ll have to do. The strong smells of cleaning solution hit him hard when he opens the Clorox wipes, and he’s hit with what feels like a wave of nostalgia. Or maybe it’s just contentment, because he knows how to do this. He knows cleaning. He’s back on firm footing. He can do this.

He gets to work.

-o-

There’s something niggling at the back of Dean’s mind. Something small, unobtrusive, shimmery and ungraspable like smoke. It’s feels like a dream that he’s forgotten, aside from the fact that he’s still asleep. But then he opens his eyes, coming awake slowly, and the feeling is still there. He’s forgotten something. What has he forgotten? He shakes his head to try and rid himself of the feeling. What does it matter what he’s forgotten?

He needs to get up, has to get up. He has work today. But he doesn’t want to get up, his limbs feel heavy, like anchors keeping him in one spot. But then his phone starts blaring that obnoxious alarm and there’s no going back to sleep after that.

Dean sighs and moves his hand clumsily over the screen to turn off the alarm before sitting up slowly. And there’s that feeling again, like he’s forgetting something. God dammit, what is he forgetting? He muses angrily on the question as he kicks through the dirty clothes on his floor, as he dresses in previously mentioned dirty clothes, as he brushes his teeth in the toothpaste-stained sink beneath his cracking mirror, as he clumps heavily down the stairs to grab a beer from the kitchen.

The sharp smell of cleaners hits him about halfway down the stairs, and suddenly he remembers. He forgot about that kid, the little omega. Fuck, what’s he gotten into?

Dean stomps into the kitchen, a scowl on his face and a reprimand ready on his tongue, but what he finds stops him short. The kitchen is… clean. No, not clean, it’s spotless. All of the dishes are done, sitting in neat rows in the cabinets, which look to have been scrubbed quite a bit themselves. In the sink is the screen from the window above it, free of cobwebs and drying off from where the omega apparently washed it. All of the rotten food from the kitchen table is gone, deposited into the trash can that sits next to the door. The floor, when Dean steps on it, isn’t sticky at all, and all the spills have been picked up. The counters, too, are clean, and the cabinets under the sink are open, being aired out. The omega himself is kneeling in front of the open refrigerator, scrubbing vigorously at a ketchup spill with a sponge that looks like it went through a paper shredder.

It looks good, all of it. New morning light is streaming in through the window lighting everything up and no part of the house has looked this good since… since mom. No part of the house has looked this good since mom.

Dean swallows, and as he shifts on his feet the floor beneath him creaks. The omega’s head pops up, noticing Dean for the first time. He stands quickly and does a weird little bow. There are stains all over his little jeans and shirt now, from all the cleaning, and Dean wonders how long he’s been at this.

“Alpha!” The boy squeaks. “Good morning, Alpha!”

“Mornin’.” Dean grumbles, trying to keep his mind away from the wave emotions that are threatening to flood his mind.

The boy opens his mouth like he wants to say something, but then closes it with an uncertain look on his face.

“What?” Dean asks.

The omega purses his lips nervously. “I… I was going to make you breakfast, but there was no food.”

Right. Food. Dean hasn’t bought food in… how many weeks? Three? Four? He’s just been grabbing fast food on his way home from work.

“I’ll, uh, I’ll get groceries on my way home tonight.” He tells the boy who, he suddenly remembers, will also need to eat today. Fuck. “And I’ll bring you something to eat when I go on lunch.” This is already too much responsibility. He had everything worked out, his routine down, and now this little omega is here to screw everything up. But when he mentions lunch the boy’s face brightens and it takes away a little of the sting of things. He moves forward and brushes past the omega to get a beer from the from the fridge. He pops the top open and takes a long drink. The taste of stale beer washes over his tongue, nothing better to start the day.

“Just don’t fucking breaking anything.” He tells the boy. He turns to leave.

“Um-” He hears.

When Dean turns back the boy is fiddling nervously with the used-up sponge.

“What?” Dean demands.

“Um,” Comes the little voice. “M-maybe some more…” The omega holds up the sponge.

It takes a minute for Dean to get it. “Cleaning stuff?” He says after it dawns on him. “You want more cleaning stuff?”

The boy nods. “If it pleases you, Alpha.”

Dean rolls his eyes. “Should’a just fuckin’ said so.” He mumbles, taking another swig of his beer. “Yeah, I’ll bring some cleaning stuff too.” He turns on his heel and stomps out of the kitchen, down the hall, and out of the house, cursing the new complications in his life.

-o-

Cas didn’t sleep at all last night, there wasn’t time! There’s just so much to do, and he couldn’t just leave it be. So he’s been cleaning all night, scrubbing and washing and throwing things away. It’s not perfect, because he couldn’t find a broom or a dustpan and he only found one wash rag in the sink, but it’s much better than it was before. He steps back to survey it all and he feels… pride. He did good, he thinks, and maybe once he has the right tools he can make it look good enough that his alpha will be happy with it. He’d seen it this morning, of course, but he hadn’t seemed pleased. Cas assumes it just wasn’t as good as his alpha wanted it to be, but it will be! Cas will make it perfect! He won’t stop until everything is perfect for his alpha. Cas smiles to himself. His alpha. _His_ alpha. He has an alpha. To care for and look after and please. It’s all he’s ever wanted, really. Sure, Dean is gruff, but it’s only because Cas isn’t doing well enough, he _will_ make the man happy. He doesn’t know why he was so scared yesterday, whatever happens will happen. He _knows_ that, he’s not sure what came over him before.

Here, now, he feels contentment roll over him. This is where he’s supposed to be, what he’s supposed to be doing. He realizes suddenly that the fear and uncertainty from yesterday was because Jess and Sam hadn’t let him do his job. Dean is letting him do his job. Sure, he’s not giving him any instruction, but he’s not telling Cas to stop either, and that’s something.

After a while, though, Cas’ hands start to hurt, and his back starts to ache, and his stomach starts to rumble. Cas wonders when Dean’s lunch is. His heart gives a happy jump when he remembers that his alpha offered to bring him lunch, something he surely didn’t need to do.

Cas sighs happily and gets back to work, he’ll do the best he can with what he has for now. But after another thirty minutes his head stars to ache as well, and he really wishes that there was something to eat. He wonders about the cans of beer in the fridge, but he doesn’t really know what beer is and it belongs to his alpha so he doesn’t think he should drink any.

When the big clock above the window reads 12:30, Cas hears a rumbling coming from outside. He scrambles up onto the chair he has pushed up to the sink and peers out. It’s Dean, stepping out of his big black car with a paper bag in his hand. Cas jumps down and tries to tidy up more before Dean comes in, pushing the chair back to the table and picking up the used sponge off of the floor. Dean comes tromping in a few seconds later, getting dirt all over the floor. Cas bites back an annoyed whine.

Dean tosses the paper bag onto his little kitchen table, now free of debris, and drops into one of the chairs.

“Hope you like burgers.” He says. “’cause that’s what I got.”

He reaches into the bag and pulls out four foil wrapped mounds, pulling two of them toward himself and pushing the other two toward the other side of the table.

Cas stands uncertainty in the middle of the kitchen, chewing on his bottom lip. After a minute, Dean sighs.

“Come eat.” He says.

Cas takes a step forward, then another. He sets the dirty sponge on the sink and goes slowly to the table where Dean is unwrapping his food.

“Wash your hands.” Dean snaps.

Cas jumps, chastising himself mentally. He forgot to wash his hands, why did he forget to wash his hands? He quickly goes to the sink and turns on the water, scrubbing his hands under the scalding water until they’re red and tingly. There’s nothing to dry them on so he just shakes them a little before scurrying over to the table. He’s unsure whether or not he should sit, so he just stands awkwardly until Dean growls, “ _Sit down_ , goddammit.”

Cas hops up onto the chair opposite his alpha, nerves humming so badly that he’s having trouble keeping his hands from shaking. He’s doing everything wrong again, making his alpha angry, but he’s not ever sure _what_ it is that he’s done. He just has to get used to it, he tells himself. Just needs to get used to his new alpha, what he likes and dislikes, then he’ll stop making the man angry.

He reaches out and takes one of the foil wrapped things near his side of the table, glancing up at his alpha to make sure it’s alright. When the man doesn’t say anything Cas takes it to mean that he’s doing alright, and he unwraps the thing. The smell is magnificent, juicy beef and warm onions and tomatoes. He’s made things with beef in them before, so he knows how it smells, but he’s never tried it before. Also, he’s not entirely sure how he’s supposed to eat this thing. He looks up at Dean, who holds the burger in his hands and eats it just like that. Cas tries that, picking the burger up gingerly, trying to keep the top bun from sliding off.

When he takes the first bite it’s like his mouth is waking up for the first time. The tastes of beef, cheese, onion and tomato collide in his mouth like flavorful fireworks. When he bites down a second time, juice squirts out the side and runs down his arm to drip off his elbow, but he doesn’t even care. He devours the thing, forgetting etiquette, forgetting manners, and when he’s done he has to fight the urge to lick the juice off of his arm.

“That one’s for you too.” Dean says, pointing toward the second burger with his elbow.

Cas grabs it greedily, ripping the foil off with fervor and biting into it viciously.

“Jesus!” Dean exclaims. “Slow down, you’re gonna make yourself sick.”

He’s right, Cas knows. He can already feel the first burger sitting heavily on his stomach in that familiar way that speaks of pain later, but he’s so hungry, and this food is _so_ good, so he just keeps going. When he’s finished, he’s very full, _too_ full. He’s never felt this way before, it’s odd, and he regrets eating both of the burgers now.

“Told you.” Dean says, crumbling up his foil and tossing it toward the trash can. He misses, and the foil bounces underneath the cabinet. He shrugs and gets to his feet.

“I gotta get back. Took me twenty minutes to get this and get out here. I’ll be back around five.” And he leaves without another word.

“Thank you, Alpha!” Cas calls after him, but he hears only the slam of the front door in response.

-o-

“I can’t do this, Sam.” Dean says into his phone. He got off work a half hour ago and now he’s at the store getting the much needed groceries.

A sigh comes from the other end of the phone. “ _What’s the problem, Dean?_ ”

Dean looks at the row of cereal boxes in front of him, wondering what kind the kid would like. To his left is an entire shelf of cereal specifically for omegas, but honestly it looks terrible, all whole grains and shit. He grabs a box of Fruit Loops and a box of Frosted Flakes and tosses them into his cart.

“I just can’t take care of a kid, okay? I had to bring him lunch today during my break, totally fucked me up. I like to go to the diner and just, you know, hang out for a while. But I couldn’t today, fucked me up. And now I’m _buying groceries_ because I have to do that now that there’s another person in my house. It’s a fucking inconvenience.”

There’s a long silence on the other end, and then, “ _Are you kidding me? You’re complaining because you have to buy groceries?_ ”

“And I lost my lunch break!” Dean reiterates, throwing two loafs of bread into his cart.

“ _I’m sure you’ll get over it._ ” Sam says.

“I didn’t ask for this, Sam! I didn’t want this, I didn’t want _him_! You guys forced him on me!”

“ _You needed help. You_ need _help. This will be good for you._ ”

Dean grits his teeth. “Fuck you, Sam. You’ve got no right to fucking stick your nose into my life.”

“You _called_ me, _Dean._ ” Sam reminds him.

Fuck, he’s right. “Whatever.” Dean spits, and hangs up. It’s only a few minutes later that he realizes he didn’t solve anything with that call, he’d meant to tell Sam to take the kid back, but he accomplished nothing.

When Dean gets back to the house, Cas is nowhere to be seen. He takes the many bags of groceries into the newly-cleaned kitchen and sets them on the kitchen table before going off in search of the boy. He’s got to make sure the kid inst getting into any trouble. He’s not in his room though, or the living room. When Dean comes to the closed bathroom door, he breathes a sigh of relief. He knocks at the door.

“You in there?” He wonders.

“Yes, Alpha.” Comes the omega’s small voice, promptly. But it sounds… off. Pained, maybe.

“You alright?” He asks, after a moment’s hesitation.

“Yes, Alpha.” But yeah, there’s a definite waver to it.

“You sure?”

“Y-yes, Alpha.”

“Okay.” Dean says, unconvinced. “I’m gonna go ahead and put these groceries away.” He tells the door.

“N-no, no, Alpha. I’ll get them! I’ll be right out!” The boy calls.

Dean shrugs and goes back into the kitchen to start putting the groceries away anyway. A few minutes later, Dean hears the toilet flush and the door open. There’s a quiet patter of feat, and the omega appears in the kitchen doorway.

“I’ll get that, Alpha!” He declares, rushing forward to help.

He sounds a little out of breath though, and looks paler than Dean remembers him looking.

“You sure you’re feeling okay?” Dean wonders, because maybe he didn’t ask for the kid to be here, but he’s not a fuckin’ monster.

“Yes, Alpha.” The omega says, perking up a little. “Thank you, Alpha.”

Dean grunts, and together they put away the rest of the groceries.

“What would you like to eat for dinner, Alpha?” The boy wonders, after they’ve finished putting everything away.

Dean shrugs. “Whatever you can make.” He says. “There’s Hamburger Helper in there, that’s pretty easy.”

The kid frowns a little. “Whatever you wish, Alpha.”

“Hey, I don’t give a fuck.” Dean tells him. “You don’t have to make dinner at all if you don’t want, I usually only eat lunch.”

He’s surprised, to say the least, when a small hand pats him on the arm. “Don’t worry, Alpha. I will take care of you.” The boy says.

Dean stands there, stunned, for several minutes. This is weird. This is so weird. This little guy thinks he’s going to take care of Dean? What a strange creature. Are all omegas like this?

By the time he comes back to himself, the boy has got the bag of cleaning supplies that Dean bought today. He’s rifling through it excitedly.

“Thank you, Alpha!” He says, looking through the stuff. He sounds genuinely excited, too. What a weirdo.

“No problem.” Dean mumbles. He grabs a beer out of the fridge and goes to the living room, where he falls onto the couch in front of the tv.

-o-

Cas has to move a chair in front of the stove to stand on as he cooks, it’s a little difficult, but he’s managing it alright. The sharp pains in his stomach are bothering him too, but, again, he’s managing. He takes comfort in the fact that his alpha asked if he was alright, earlier. He had shown concern! For _Cas_. He has seemed genuinely worried about Cas and it makes the omega smile. He’s lucky, very very lucky. His alpha _asks if he’s alright_. Not many alphas would do that.

When he finishes the food he puts some of it onto a plate, sets it on the table, and goes in search of his alpha. He finds him in the living room, watching television and nursing a beer. Cas stands silently in the doorway for a moment, watching the television. It looks nicer than Sam and Jess’, and is a bit at odds with the rest of the house. After a bit, he clears his throat.

Dean looks over at him them. “What?” He asks.

“Dinner is ready, Alpha.” He tells the man.

Dean grunts and gets up slowly, following Cas into the kitchen. He sits down at the table and stabs into the food. Cas goes to the chair in front of the sink and starts on the dishes.

“Did you already eat?” Comes Dean’s voice from the table.

Cas looks up quickly. “No, Alpha! I- I will eat after you.”

He had eaten at the same time as his alpha earlier, and he shouldn’t have. Now Dean thinks that Cas has eaten _before_ him, and it’s Cas’ own fault for having forgotten himself earlier.

Dean frowns. “No, come eat now.” He orders.

Cas hesitates, but then thinks better of it. Of course he’s not going to disobey his alpha. He fills himself a plate and goes to sit across from Dean. They eat in silence for several minutes, Cas in silent awe of the fact that he has been allowed to sit at the same table as his alpha _twice_ today.

“So, what did you do today?” Dean asks gruffly.

“I cleaned, Alpha.” Cas tells him. He keeps his voice calm, but inside he’s elated. His alpha _asked about his day_! He must have the kindest alpha in the world.

“Hmm.” Says Dean. “You did a good job.”

“Thank you, Alpha.” Cas says reverently.

“Did you, uh, sleep well?” Dean asks, fishing for a conversation topic.

“I didn’t sleep, Alpha.” Cas informs him. “I cleaned.”

Dean frowns and puts down his fork. “You gotta sleep, dude.”

Cas swallows, his alpha looks unhappy. “I’m sorry, Alpha!” He says quickly. “There was just so much to do.”

“Right, well, you gotta sleep tonight.” Dean tells him.

“Yes, Alpha! I will sleep tonight.” He informs him. “What time do you wake in the morning?”

“About six, why?”

Cas nods. “I will make you breakfast.” He says.

“Well alright.” Says Dean.

After supper, Dean goes back into the living room and watches the television. He tells Cas to come to, and the boy sits on the other end of the couch, watching the screen raptly. He doesn’t know what’s going on, doesn’t understand any of it, but it’s _fascinating_. There are lots of doctors scurrying around on the screen, but they seem to do more kissing than actual medical practice.

-o-

When Dean decides to go to bed, the omega does too. Dean, despite his reservations about having the kid here, is less mad about the whole situation now and so he goes to make sure the omega has everything he needs.

As it turns out, the boy has only one set of pajamas, which are dirty, so Dean lets the boy wear one of his big shirts, which comes down to his knobby little knees. He gets the boy clean blankets too, depositing the dirty ones on the floor at the foot of the bed. He feels a little bad now, for just leaving the kid to his own devices last night. The omega watches him quietly as he puts the new sheets on. When he’s done he pats the bed.

“Up you go.” He says.

The boy scrambles up, little hands grasping the clean purple sheets to give himself leverage. The big shirt rides up to his pudgy thighs as he climbs under the blanket.

“Thank you, Alpha!” He says happily.

“Yeah, no problem.” Dean says, reaching out to pat the boy’s head awkwardly. He feels a small twinge, a pull, maybe, of something… something that feels a little like affection for the boy- for Cas. Maybe not affection, maybe that strange, nameless bond that’s supposed to exist between alphas and omegas. Whatever it is, he doesn’t like it.

He clears his throat aggressively and turns to leave.

“Goodnight, Alpha!” Says a little voice from behind him.

He stops. “Goodnight, Cas.” He says.

Falling asleep, Dean feels… not better. Not happier. But… different, slightly. Changed in some small way, perhaps at a molecular level. He feels… a little quieter.


	7. Chapter 7

Cas is enveloped in warmth, and a smell that, above all else, means safety. He’s not sure what it is, but it calls to mind early memories of being wrapped in blankets and held close, back before he presented as an omega. He’s swimming in the smell, and his dreams are light, weightless. He doesn’t feel afraid, he doesn’t feel nervous or anxious or a sense of foreboding like he usually does in his dreams.

He wakes up slowly, coming out of the heavy fog of sleep unwillingly. He doesn’t want to leave it behind, the safe smell, but as he comes to he realizes that the smell is still there. He sniffs the air and remembers suddenly that he’s wearing his alpha’s shirt. That’s what the smell is coming from. His wonderful, thoughtful alpha let Cas borrow his shirt for the night, and it’s wonderful.

He brings the shirt collar up over his nose and breathes deep, letting his eyes fall closed again. It’s a tangy smell, slightly metallic, but sweet too. He has never smelled anything quite like it, and he’s sure he never will again. It’s the smell of his alpha. Cas smiles at the thought. His alpha.

After a few minutes he gets up, pushing the warm blankets off of himself and swinging his legs over the side of the bed. It’s so soft. So soft. And the blankets were soft too, and clean, and purple! Already Cas thinks that purple might be his favorite color.

He doesn’t change, he just pads out of his bedroom and down the stairs in nothing but his alpha’s big shirt. He likes it _much_ better than the jeans he was wearing yesterday. The big shirt feels more like wearing a shift, his legs are free to move as they please, and there’s a lovely breeze.

Cas goes to the bathroom first, his stomach is still very upset from eating the Hamburger Helper last night. Once he does, though, he feels much better.

He hums softly as he makes breakfast, eggs and bacon, watching through the window as the sun slowly comes up over the horizon. It turns the sky brilliant pinks and purples and Cas almost lets the eggs burn because he gets distracted watching it. He’s never seen the sunrise before, yesterday he’d been too caught up cleaning to notice, but today he takes a moment to watch. He thinks it’s the most beautiful thing he has ever seen. He can hear birds chirping outside, and everything is perfect. Too perfect. Cas has the sudden, sickening feeling that this is all just a dream. He reaches down and pinches his arm, hard. It hurts _a lot_ , but he’s not convinced. He does it again and again, becoming frantic. He doesn’t even hear the heavy footfalls behind him. He finally comes back to himself when a large hand grasps his arm, pulling it away from his pinching fingers.

“Hey,” Comes Dean’s gravely voice. “what are you doing?”

Cas jerks his head up, meeting his alpha’s gaze with wide, fearful eyes. Dean looks confused, and maybe a little angry. Cas looks back down at his arm, which is an irritated red. There specs of blood in some places where he pinched with his fingernails and broke the skin.

“I…” He starts, but he trails off, because he has no answer. He had a brief moment of blinding fear that he doesn’t know how to explain. If he tries, he’ll sound crazy. He can’t let his alpha think he’s crazy, he’ll send Cas back to The Center! He purses his lips tight and says nothing, hoping that Dean will forget about it.

Dean furrows his brow and brings Cas’ arm up toward his face so that he can see it better. His thumb brushes one of the puckered cuts, smearing a bubble of blood over the pale skin of the boy’s arm. “Why did you do this?” He asks.

Cas shakes his head. He won’t tell. He won’t go back.

Dean sighs and lowers Cas’ arm. “I’ll get a band-aid.” He says.

Cas finishes the food and plates it while Dean is gone, and by the time the man comes back into the kitchen carrying a white box of band-aids, Cas is setting the food on the table. Dean settles himself in a chair next to the table. “Come here.” He says, pulling several band-aids out of the box.

Cas comes to stand in front of Dean’s knees, and the man takes his arm gently in his hands again. He peels the protective paper carefully away from the adhesive and presses bandages to Cas’ skin until all the cuts are covered.

“There you go.” He says, smoothing down a bumped band-aid edge. “Don’t do that again.”

“Yes, Alpha.” Cas agrees. The odd, surreal feeling is gone now, and he no longer fears that he’s dreaming.

Dean gives him a small, tight-lipped smile before turning in his seat to face the table. “You eat?” He asks.

“No, Alpha.” Cas tells him.

“Well, make yourself a plate.” Dean says, stabbing his fork into the eggs. “Don’t know why I always gotta tell you this.”

“Sorry, Alpha.” Cas goes to the stove to make himself a plate.

Dean grunts through a mouthful of eggs and watches as Cas carefully scoops a small amount of eggs onto his plate, and one piece of bacon. “You can eat more.” He tells the boy.

“Thank you, Alpha.” Cas smiles happily up at him. “I am not very hungry.” His stomach still hurts a bit, but he doesn’t want to complain. He can tell, as soon as he takes a bite of the bacon, that it’s going to sit wrong on his stomach, so he only nibbles it a little and hopes that Dean doesn’t notice.

They eat in silence, but Dean doesn’t seem as angry at Cas as he did yesterday. When he’s finished, Dean brushes his hands off on his jeans and stands. “I’ll be back at five.” He says. He grabs his keys off of a hook in the hall, and leaves.

“Goodbye, Alpha!” Cas calls, but Dean is already out the door.

-o-

Cas decides that today he will clean the living room, as he feels satisfied with the state of the kitchen. This room is both better and worse than the other. Better in the sense that it’s more cluttered than dirty, worse in the sense that the clutter is things that belong to his alpha and he’s not sure what to do with it. He picks up things off of the floor and tries to organize what he can on the dark shelves that line the walls. He dusts and cleans the windows and vacuums the carpet with a vacuum he finds in a little closet underneath the stairs. The curtains come down off of the windows and the cushions off the couch so that Cas can clean underneath. Now that the light can come in through the clean windows the whole room has a much better feel. After that, Cas cleans the bathroom. It’s not as bad as it could be, but that doesn’t mean it’s good. Dried soap and toothpaste stain the sink, the beginnings of mildew bloom in the shower. Despite the fact that he’s cleaning two rooms today, he finishes them fairly quickly. More quickly than he finished the kitchen, and he stands in the front hallway for a bit, unsure of what to do next.

He could clean more, _should_ clean more, but… he really wants to go outside. He stands at the front door, hand pressed against the screen, looking out. He doesn’t think Dean would mind if he went outside, just for a little while. It wouldn’t hurt anything, surely, and he could be back inside long before Dean gets home. His heart tightens a little at of the thought at disobeying his alpha, even accidentally. Dean hasn’t said anything about Cas not being allowed outside, but maybe he just forgot. Maybe he thought it was obvious. Cas chews his lip anxiously.

He should wait until Dean gets home, Cas thinks as he pushes the screen door open. It won’t be long, he muses as he steps out onto the old porch. And then… then he stops. He stops arguing with himself. He just stands there on the washed out, sun warmed porch, breathing deep. The air is sweet and clean and as it fills his lungs he imagines that he can feel the veins in his arms and legs tingling with new life. He can feel the cool breeze on his legs underneath the shirt, and he feels the sudden urge to strip so that he can feel it everywhere. He doesn’t though, instead he walks to the front of the porch and descends down the three stairs to the ground, blinking at the sun that shines high in the sky. Right in front of the porch there’s gravel that attaches to the dirt road that winds away to civilization, but off of that there’s grass. Miles of wonderful green grass. Cas takes a deep breath and steps off of the gravel.

The grass is cool and soft. It waves about, tickling his ankles and bending easily when he walks on it. Beneath the grass he can feel the dirt compressing, little rocks poking his toes, bugs squirming for cover. Bugs! He’s never seen real live bugs before! He does now, he discovers an ant hill almost immediately, and kneels down to watch the tiny black creatures scurry here and there. They’re fascinating, the way they move in such orderly lines too and from their home. He’s even more intrigued when a group of ants come back to the hill carrying a dead wasp. They’re so small, it doesn’t look like they should be able to carry it, but they can. They try to fit it into the hill but it’s too big. Cas is sad for the ants for a moment before they begin to slowly disassemble the wasp, pulling it apart until it’s in small enough pieces to pass through their entryway. Amazing, he thinks. Absolutely amazing. He moves to lay on his belly atop the cool grass, hands folded one over another to create a place for his chin to sit as he continues to observe the ants go about their small lives.

He’s so caught up with them, with their movements, that he loses track of the time.

-o-

Its been a long day. Two guys called in sick so Dean had twice the workload he usually does. He loves fixing cars, he does. He enjoys the feeling of discovering the problem and then being able to solve it. It makes him feel useful the way few other things do these days. It reminds him of his teenage years, out in the musty garage with his father, working on some project or another. When he’s deep in the hood of a car and he _figures it out_ , understands the problem, in that moment it’s like his father is there, leaning over his shoulder, and everything is alright. Anyway, he does enjoy it. He’s got a good boss too, and co-workers he gets along with, but there’s only so much he can handle in a day and today pushed him to the limit. So he’s tired, he’s worn out, and he’s feeling frayed at the edges like an old blanket.

The drive home helps a bit, he rolls down the window and turns up the Iron Maiden and lets the feeling of the sun on his arms sooth his nerves. By the time he gets home he’s not such a frazzled mess. He’s not entirely sure what he expects to come home to, because on one hand it’s sort of nice to have someone else around the house again, but on the other he doesn’t really like to have to look after an omega. Sure, Cas is helpful, but Dean still feels put out somehow, like he’s being forced to entertain a house guest he didn’t really want.

What he doesn’t expect, when he parks the Impala in front of the porch and steps out, is to find Cas asleep in the yard. He’s just laying there in on the grass, splayed out, arms folded neatly beneath his face, still wearing Dean’s big shirt. His head is right near an ant hill, and his shirt is rucked up almost all the way to his butt, exposing his now burnt legs.

And Dean can’t help himself, he starts to smile. There’s just something about him, something that wakes up the long-dormant alpha in him, makes him want to protect. He walks over to where the boy is laying and bends down to scoop him up gently, settling him on his hip. Cas, warm and sleepy, nuzzles into Dean’s shirt. He starts to wake up when Dean walks up the porch steps and into the cool house.

Blue eyes blink up at Dean.

“Alpha?” The boy yawns.

“Hey, bud.” Pushing down his smile, his happiness, his urge to protect.

Cas sits up suddenly, the flush of sleep retreating quickly from his face. “Alpha! I- I fell asleep! I’m sorry! I’m so sorry, Alpha!” Cas cries, panic blooming in his eyes. He squirms fearfully in Dean’s arms, trying to get down.

“It’s okay. It’s okay, Cas.” Dean tells him, unable to keep himself from running a hand soothingly down the boy’s back as they walk.

“B-but I was going to clean more! I was going to…”

Dean carries him into the bathroom, where he gets the clear bottle of Aloe Vera from the cabinet. It’s clean, he notices. All the hair from the drains and the stains from the sink.

“You did a good job, buddy.” Dean tells him.

Cas looks up at him, wide-eyed. “Thank you, Alpha.” He says reverently.

Dean carries him into the living room. It’s clean too, and most of the clutter is moved up onto shelves. “Hmm.” He says thoughtfully. He sits down on the couch, keeping Cas in his lap.

“Here, lay across my legs.” Dean says.

Cas moves to comply slowly, finally noticing the pain at the backs of his legs. “Ow.” He whimpers.

“It’s just a sunburn.” Dean tells him.

Cas turns his head to frown confusedly up at him.

“Because you fell asleep outside.”

Cas purses his lips.

“That’s okay, don’t worry about it.” Dean says finally. “I’m gonna put some stuff on your legs and it’s going to be kind of cold but it’ll make you feel better, okay?”

“Okay.” Cas whispers.

Dean squirts a bit of the clearish green gel into his palm before smearing it gently up Cas’ legs. The omega sighs with relief as the pain in his legs is chased away by the cool, tingling goop. Dean rubs it in until it’s mostly gone, then picks him up again to hold him against his chest. He does it without thinking, and he curses himself for it, but it’s too late. The boy is already wrapping his little arms around Dean’s neck and pressing his face into the man’s shoulder. Dean feels a wave of the same emotion that comes to him whenever he fixes a car, useful, good. It’s so foreign to just feel this emotion that Dean doesn’t know how to handle it. He feels a twinge of what he knows is misplaced frustration, that this little omega somehow has the ability to make him feel like he’s useful again after being here such a short time. It’ll pass, he knows, and he’ll go back to feeling nothing at all, but maybe this isn’t so bad while it lasts.

-o-

Cas breathes deep, his senses filling up with the smell of slightly sweat-salty skin, the tang of motor oil, sharp metal residue. This is the happiest he’s ever been, Cas thinks, pressed close to his alpha’s chest. And the man isn’t pushing him away, or frowning, just holding him gently against his chest. Cas’ hands fist in the front of Dean’s shirt as he’s overwhelmed with the sudden urge to cry. It doesn’t make sense, and he blinks furiously trying to get rid of the sensation, but it sticks stubbornly in his throat. His alpha. His alpha. His alpha is good. His alpha made his legs feel better. Cas turns his face into Dean’s throat, and he shakes as a sob forces his way past his lips. Then Dean is pulling back and Cas feels a thrill of fear. But Dean looks concerned, not angry, and one of his big hands settles on Cas’ shoulder.

“What’s wrong?” He wonders. “Are you alright?”

Cas nods, but he’s still shaking all over, his hands and his legs and shoulders, and he’s not even sure why. “I…” He starts, but there’s nothing. He can’t explain it. He can’t tell Dean why there are tears running down his face and dripping off of his chin now, he’s not even sure if they’re happy tears or sad tears or something else altogether. All he knows is that he’s overwhelmed and every coping mechanism he ever learned has gone out the window.

“It’s okay.” Dean is saying, and his thumb, large and calloused, is brushing tears away from Cas’ cheek. “It’s alright.”

Cas launches himself forward again, pressing himself as close to his alpha as he can get, because he’s good and his smell is soothing. He stays there for a long time, and Dean doesn’t get mad or fidgety, he just sits there and sometimes pats the boy on the back. When Cas is feeling a little better, he sits back. He knows he must be a mess, he wipes his face with the back of his hand.

“W-what would you like for dinner, Alpha?” He asks, a little shakily.

Dean smiles at him. “Why don’t we just order pizza tonight, buddy?” He says kindly.

“Pizza?”

Dean nods. “Pizza.”

“Okay.”

“What kind of pizza do you like?” Dean asks.

Cas frowns up at him. “I don’t know.” He admits.

“Never had pizza?” Dean asks, looking appalled.

“No. Sorry, Alpha.”

“We’ll just get a loaded and pick off anything you don’t like.” Dean says, and Cas nods even though he’s not really sure what that means.

Cas eats his pizza slowly, because the first bite burned his tongue and now he knows to be very careful. He likes the taste of the pizza, the sauce that’s sweet and tangy at the same time, the soft vegetables and flavorful meats. He doesn’t really like the cheese though, but he doesn’t say anything about it even though he knows that it will hurt later.

They eat in the living room, watching confusing stories on the television, and Cas curls into Dean’s side. Dean ruffles Cas’ hair, and Cas leans into his touch. He breathes a sigh, deep from his core, of relief.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My tumblr is [here](http://frecklesandmisterblueeyes.tumblr.com/).


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOTE CONCERNING THE SEX:  
> Okay, I have officially decided that I'm going to wait a bit and have Cas be a little older before the sexy times ensue. I know I was kind of kicking around a few ideas, but this is what i've settled on. He'll be about fourteen, i'll figure out the time gap.  
> \-------------------------------------------------  
> SOME NOTES ON THIS VERSE:  
> I really should have done this at the beginning, but I didn't even think about it until somebody asked the other day.
> 
> \- Alpha and Omega are biological traits. As in a lot of a/b/o fics, alphas have knots and omegas go into heat (when they're old enough), they also smell different. In this verse it can be determined early on by a blood test. Here, omegas are considered weaker because they're heats can leave them very vulnerable, and because they don't grow to be as big as alphas and somewhere along the line in history someone thought it would be good to subjugate them because they're not as capable of fighting back. At this point, omegas are pretty brainwashed and they don't really know that things could be different.  
> \- Alpha, Omega, and Beta are a bit like secondary sexes. In this 'verse your secondary sex is more important than your first if you're alpha or omega, but doesn't really matter if you're beta.  
> \- Concerning titles: There are more alphas and omegas in the world then there are betas, so far in the story Cas has only spoken to alphas. He would address a beta as "beta", like he addresses alphas as "alpha", because they're also considered to be above omegas. Omegas are not expected to address each other by any title.  
> -While a lot of owners have intercourse with their omegas (obviously), actually mating with an omega (as in taking them as a sort of spouse) is incredibly uncommon. The idea of true mates doesn't really exist in this verse, alphas are expected to mate other alphas or betas, but mating with an omega would be met with a lot of opposition or, alternatively, be seen as something incredibly "kinky".   
> \--------------------------------------------------------------
> 
> Dean is kind of sexist in this chapter, I'm very sorry. He doesn't know what he's doing.  
> This chapter was kind of weird, i'm sorry if it didn't turn out well.

Despite Dean’s best efforts, the little omega is quickly worming his way into his heart. Not a week has passed and already Dean is finding it increasingly hard to be gruff or stern with the boy. Not that he needs to be, really, Cas is nothing if not diligent and hard-working. He finds himself wishing for the boy’s company, even when he doesn’t strictly need it. Now, for instance, he needs to go to the store again and before he can catch himself he’s asking Cas if he want to come along. Cas just looks up at Dean happily.

“Of course, Alpha.” He chirps, folding his hands atop one another.

Dean looks down at him. He’s wearing another of the man’s large shirts. He continues to favor them, even though Dean showed him where the laundry room is days ago. This one is long and blue, falling just below the boy’s knees, leaving his still burnt legs exposed. Dean leans down and plucks at Cas’ sleeve.

“We better get you your own clothes too, huh?”

Cas doesn’t say anything, but frowns up at him, and it looks a little bit like he’s pouting.

Dean catches a smile before it slips onto his lips. He pats the boy on the head, flattening his dark hair. “Why don’t you go put on what you’ve got, and then we’ll go.”

“Yes, Alpha.” Says Cas, before running out of the room. Dean can hear his small feet speeding up the stairs and down the hall. A few short minutes later Cas is coming back into the living room, wearing a small pair of blue jeans, a shirt with a truck on it, a pair of untied sneakers, and his collar. He looks uncomfortable, he keeps shifting oddly and tugging at the sleeves of his shirt.

“You okay there, bud?” Dean asks.

“Yes, Alpha.” Cas tells him, but it’s followed by a small huff that betrays his words.

“Come on, what’s wrong?” Dean reaches out to grab hold of the boy’s arm and pull him close to where he’s sitting on the couch.

Cas looks up nervously. He purses his lips. “Too tight.” He says finally, squirming a bit to accentuate his declaration.

Dean checks, feeling the inside of the boy’s waistband and giving the arms of his shirt a little tug, but everything seems to be the right size.

“That’s the way they’re supposed to fit.” He tells Cas.

The omega’s eyes dart away, and Dean feels a little guilty, although he’s not sure why. “You forgot to tie your shoes.” He says.

Cas shakes his head. “I don’t know how.” He says meekly.

“That’s alright.” Dean tells him, slipping his hands under the boy’s arms to lift him up onto his lap. He settles Cas there and takes hold of the little white laces that adorn his small sneakers.

“Okay, so you cross them over each other like _this_ , then this one goes under _here_ , then you make _loops_ , this one goes under this one, then you _pull_ , see?”

Cas is watching carefully, brow furrowed with concentration. He nods.

“Okay, why don’t you try the other one.” Dean taps the untied shoe.

Cas reaches out tentatively and… he does it. He gets it on the first go, remembering every part of the process Dean just showed him. It’s impressive, really. Dean remembers when he was small, it took him a long time to learn to tie his shoes, his parents almost gave up and just got him velcro sneakers.

“Good job, buddy!” Dean praises, rubbing his hand over the boy’s back.

Cas preens. He sighs happily and leans back into Dean’s touch. “Thank you, Alpha.”

Dean smiles, and moves to stand, bringing Cas with him and settling the boy on his hip. He almost misses the small whimper Cas emits upon being jostled. When he looks down, the boy’s face is sliding into a neutral expression, but Dean can still see the edges of discomfort there.

“You okay?” He wonders.

Cas nods, but his face looks a little pinched.

“You sure?”

“Yes, Alpha.” Cas insists.

“Alright.” Dean says finally. He readjusts the boy on his hip, grabs his keys, and leaves through the front door. It’s bright and sunny outside, a warm breeze pulls gently at Dean’s hair as he sets Cas in the passenger seat of the Impala and buckles him in. Once he settles himself in the driver’s seat, he turns on the radio and lets the sounds of Metallica flow over him. He drums his fingers on the steering wheel to match the beat as he drives down the old dirt road, and when he glances over at Cas the omega is looking happily out the window. Dean moves his hand to the car door and pushes the button to lower Cas’ window, and the boy squeaks in surprise. He whips his head around to look at Dean, astonishment written on his features. Dean just gives him a smile and soon Cas is back to the window, after a few minutes he even sticks his head out. Dean can see his mouth stretched into a wide smile as he faces into the wind, dark hair fluttering wildly around his head. He looks happy, very very happy.

“You’re gonna get bugs in your teeth.” Dean teases.

Cas immediately pulls his head back into the car. “Sorry, Alpha!” He says hurriedly.

“I was just teasin’, buddy, you can stick your head out the window if you want.” Dean tells him, feeling bad.

Cas looks at him for a long moment before moving his head slowly toward the window again and pushing his head out. He has his head out the window for their entire drive and, surprisingly, Cas doesn’t get any bugs in his teeth.

-o-

Dean says that Cas needs his own clothes, but Cas doesn’t _want_ his own clothes, he likes Dean’s. They smell nice and make him feel safe, and besides that, the man’s big shirts are very comfortable. But here they are, Cas in clothes that Jess and Sam got for him, standing in a dusty little store in town. This store is _much_ quieter than The Gap, and smaller. There are a few people milling about, but not many. Dean isn’t carrying Cas anymore, but he does have Cas’ small hand enveloped in his own, much bigger hand, and he’s leading Cas around by it. It’s very nice, Dean’s hand is warm and Cas doesn’t feel nervous at all with Dean leading him.

They walk through the store, passing the men’s section, the women’s section, girl’s, boy’s, and maternity. They go all the way to the very back, where there’s a small section of clothes with a sign marking them as “Omega”.

Dean goes about rummaging through the racks and piles of clothes. Cas stands near him, touching nothing. He feels nervous and unsure now that Dean isn’t holding his hand anymore, and besides that, he’s not feeling well. His stomach has been hurting especially bad today, and it hurts more when he moves around.

“You see anything you want?” Comes Dean’s rumbly voice.

Cas clasps his hands and looks up at Dean, unsure about what he’s supposed to be doing. Dean can’t mean that Cas should choose his own things, that’s not something he should do. Of course that’s not what he means. After a minute, Dean looks down at Cas again.

“C’mon, bud, anything you want to try on?”

Cas starts, looking searchingly at Dean’s face. Does he mean that? Really? That Cas should choose something for himself? He looks serious, and Cas doesn’t think that his alpha would lie to him. He moves cautiously toward a shelf of clothing and, keeping his eyes on Dean to make sure he’s doing the right thing, starts looking through the clothes. When Dean gives him a smile and a nod, Cas figures that, yes, this is alright.

He picks out a couple of things and looks back at Dean.

“Get what you want.” Dean tells him. “Shit’s cheap here.”

Cas picks out several more things before Dean ushers him to an odd smelling dressing room. He goes in with his choices, as well as a few things that Dean picked out, and closes the door. It’s strange, a small carpeted room with a mirror on one wall. The carpet is faded and stained with mysterious splotches of various colors, the walls an old mint green, covered with nonsensical messages scrawled in ink. The smell is of sweat and something else that Cas can’t identify. He tries not to breathe through his nose as he strips and proceeds to try on each article of clothing.

He doesn’t like any of the pants, they’re too tight and they hurt his already tender stomach. He pokes his head out of the dressing room to find Dean sitting on a bench outside, fiddling with his phone.

“Alpha?” Cas says hesitantly.

Dean looks up. “What’s up?” He asks.

“I…” He takes a deep breath. He’s pretty sure this is okay, but he’s not certain and this could end badly. “I’m not… I’m not sure I like pants.”

Instead of the anger Cas is worried about, Dean’s face splits into a smile. He chuckles, “I know the feeling.” He pushes to his feet. “Hold tight, I’ll be right back.”

He’s gone for several minutes, and when he comes back he has a pile of multicolored cloth in his arms.  
“Try these.” He says, handing the cloth to Cas.

“Yes, Alpha.”

Cas takes the cloth back into the dressing room. The pile of cloth turns out to be what Cas recognizes as “skirts”. When he slips them on, he breathes a sigh of relief, _this_ is something that he likes. The bands are elastic and the fabric is loose and flowing, falling down around his knees or his ankles, depending on the skirt. They’re in better colors than the jeans, too, bright ones with patterns that make Cas smile. There are a couple of shift-like articles at the bottom of the pile, and Cas likes those too. When he pokes his head out of the room again to tell Dean, the man smiles at him.

“Why don’t you put on what you like best and you can wear it out.” He says.

Cas wears a yellow shirt with a smiley face on it, a purple skirt with little flowers all over, and his sneakers. They carry the rest of the clothes - minus the jeans, plus a plastic-wrapped ten-pack of underwear – to the checkout line. There’s a little display near the register with collars on it, and Cas looks at them curiously. They look more comfortable than his own hard, scratchy one. Dean catches him looking and reaches past to pluck the collar he’d been eying. It’s blue and it looks soft and pliable.

“Want it?” Dean asks him.

Cas nods excitedly. His alpha is so good. He’s getting clothes _and_ a collar and the pain in his stomach is briefly eclipsed by his happiness as Dean puts the blue collar atop the the pile of clothes that the cashier is ringing up.

Cas hugs the bag of clothes tightly to his chest as they walk back out to the car, and when they’re buckled in Dean unhooks Cas’ old collar and clips on the new one while the omega practically hums with joy. His bliss is short-lived, however, because no sooner have they started driving again than the pain in Cas’ stomach makes a powerful come-back. He presses a hand to his belly and focuses on staying quiet for the rest of the drive.

The grocery store is small too, a little locally owned place, and Dean holds Cas’ hand in there too. They get their things and go to check out at the small, single register manned by a friendly red-haired girl. She’s in the middle of ringing them up when Dean slaps a hand to his forehead.

“Shit,” He curses. “I forgot bread.” He looks down at Cas. “Hey, bud, will you run get me a loaf of bread?” He asks.

Cas nods and sprints off toward the bread isle, but halfway there an awful, stabbing pain shoots through his middle. He stumbles and knocks into a display full of chap-stick before falling to the ground.

-o-

When he hears the crash, Dean whirls around, knocking a bag of BBQ chips to the ground on accident. What he sees sends an unexpected shock of panic up his spine. Cas is laying in the floor next to a downed chap-stick display, curled up on himself, clutching his stomach. He hears the girl at the counter curse in surprise, but he doesn’t pay any attention. He leaves his purchases at the checkout and runs toward the boy, going to his knees next to the prone omega. He reaches out, not sure what for, to comfort? To asses damage? He doesn’t know. His hands fall uselessly onto the boy’s side.

“Cas?” He says, and his voice sounds weak even to his own ears. “What’s wrong, buddy?”

Cas whimpers. “Hurts.” He gasps.

“What hurts?” Dean asks.

Cas groans pitifully. “M-my stomach.” He grunts out.

Dean doesn’t know what to do. He doesn’t know how to take care of children, how to take care of _omegas_. Then there’s a hand on his shoulder, and when he turns he finds the girl from the checkout looking down at him, concerned, clutching a phone.

“Can you call 911?” He asks her.

She hesitates, and she seems to be debating something in her head. She closes her eyes, blows out a breath, opens them again. “I know someone.” She says. “He’ll take better care of your omega than the emergency room will.”

“Yes, fine.” Dean relents. “Just call _someone_ ”

The girl nods and starts punching a number into her phone. A few seconds later she’s talking, but Dean isn’t listening. He’s brushing Cas’ hair back from his face, trying to bring any comfort he can, and failing miserably.

Then the girl is back. Her hand is heavy on his shoulder. “He lives two blocks away, you want me to drive you?”

Relief floods Dean’s chest. “Yes.” He says. “Thank you.”

He scoops Cas up, as gently as he can, and follows the girl as she flips the open sign to closed and locks the door. Then she hurries out a back door with Dean trailing her. They just leave all of Dean’s groceries at the counter, all the lights on, they just leave everything. They hop into a little red Honda and the red-haired girl peels out of the small parking lot.

Dean holds Cas close to his body, brushing his hand down the boy’s back in what he hopes is a soothing manner as the girl speeds down the road.

“I’m Charlie, by the way.” The girl tells him.

“Dean.” Dean tells her.

“What’s his name?” She wonders. And it strikes him as an odd question, because people don’t ask omega’s names. They just don’t. But she’s an odd girl, he thinks. She was willing to drop everything to get Cas help, knowing already that he’s an omega.

So Dean tells her. “It’s Cas.”

“He’s gonna be okay.” She tells him.

Dean just purses his lips, because Cas doesn’t look like he’s going to be alright and there’s nothing he can do.

Moments later they pull up in front of a tall apartment building. It’s not what Dean would call classy, but he’s seen worse. Charlie presses a buzzer next to the door with a tag beside it that says “Tran”.

“Hello?” Comes a tinny voice.

“It’s Charlie.” The girl says, and almost immediately the door buzzes open. The stairs are dirty, caked with layer after layer of grimy footprints. One of the doorways they pass on their way up is swung open, and the smell of piss hangs heavy in the air. Dean breathes through his mouth and thinks that it actually looked better from the outside. They run all the way up to the fourth floor, and Dean’s arms are starting to ache by the time they reach the door with a crooked 88 hanging on it, made from stained copper. Charlie reaches up to rap on the door once, twice, and then it swings open.

Standing before them is a small, asian man. His hair is shaggy and the skin under his eyes looks dark, almost bruised.

“Hurry, come in!” He says, taking a quick step backward to allow them passage. Dean brushes in past him, eager to get Cas help. The inside of this apartment is much nicer than the outside suggests. It’s clean and orderly, small, but everything is spotless, meticulously organized. The front door opens into a small living room, but Dean doesn’t get a chance to look it over before the man is pulling him into the kitchen.

“Set him on the table.” The man tells him.

Dean lays Cas out, as gently as he can, on a large blue towel that sits atop a dark wooden table in the middle of the kitchen.

“How long has he been sick?” The man asks.

“I-i don’t know.” Dean stutters. “I don’t think he was feeling well this morning, but he said it was fine.”

In the bright kitchen light, Dean can see clearly when the man purses his lips tightly.

“Can you hear me?” The man asks Cas.

Cas, despite whatever pain he’s drowning in, nods.

“My name is Kevin, okay? I’m going to help you feel better. Can you tell me what hurts?”

“S-stomach.” Cas grunts.

Kevin reaches out and pulls Cas’ trembling hand away from his stomach to lift his shirt up a little. For the first time today, Dean realizes that Cas’ belly looks odd, bloated, distended even. When Kevin reaches out to press on Cas’ belly, just a little, the boy gasps and fresh tears well up in his eyes. Kevin furrows his brow.

“When was the last time you used the restroom?” Kevin asks Cas.

Cas doesn’t answer, just shakes his head.

“Have you been having trouble going?”

Cas nods. Kevin looks up at Dean.

“What have you been feeding him?”

Dean balks, suddenly feeling like he’s in trouble for some reason.

“He eats what I eat.” He says. He had thought that it was a good idea, the right decision, but now he’s not so sure.

“How long have you had him?” Kevin wonders.

“About a week.”

Kevin nods. He steps away from the table and begins to rummage around in a cabinet above his pristine sink. He comes back with a thick pill bottle and a cup of room-temperature water. He pops the lid of the pill bottle with practiced ease and shakes two blue capsules into his palm as he steps back to the table.

“Here, can you try and swallow these for me?” Kevin asks, holding out his hand to Cas.

Cas nods and opens his mouth for Kevin to tip the pills into his mouth. He only gets a couple swallows of the water before he’s choking and shaking his head, refusing to drink anymore.

“That’s okay, you did great.” Kevin tells Cas. “Didn’t he do great?” He prompts Dean.

“Yeah, yeah! You did so good, buddy.” Dean says, brushing his knuckles over Cas’ cheek.

“Okay, uh…” Kevin looks at Dean.

“Oh, Cas! His name is Cas.”

“Okay, Cas, I’m going to need you to go into the bathroom and try to relieve yourself, alright? Take your time, there are some books in there. Okay? You’re going to be okay.” He slips his hands under the boy and carries him out of the kitchen, into the hall, and sets him down in front of the bathroom door. Cas is shaking as he stumbles into the bathroom, Kevin pulls the door firmly shut behind him. He steps toward the living room and motions for Dean to follow. When they come into the living room, Charlie is there, looking anxious on the couch.

Kevin sits down in the overstuffed chair that directly across from the couch, separated from the other piece of furniture by a glass-topped coffee table. Dean settles himself on the couch next to Charlie. He leans forward to rest his elbows on his knees and drop his head into his hands. He hasn’t felt this useless since the accident, and he remembers suddenly _why_ he’s wary of growing fond of people.

There’s a thick silence for several minutes before Kevin speaks up.

“He’s going to be alright.” The man says. “Once he relieves himself he’ll feel alright.”

Dean takes his hands away from his face. This a good thing, but he’s still feeling useless and guilty and it’s leaving him hollow. “Did I do this?” He asks.

Kevin reaches up to rub the back of his neck nervously, but he doesn’t look away from Dean. “In the training centers, they keep omegas on a very strict diet. It’s basically just water, fruit, vegetables, and some simple grains. That’s all he’s eaten his whole life. His body doesn’t know what to do with meat, dairy, trans-fats, processed foods in general. He can’t digest them, it has probably been causing him a great deal of discomfort.”

Dean drops his head back into his hands, it _is_ his fault. Of course it is, he breaks everything he touches.

“You couldn’t have known.” Comes a voice beside him, and Dean jumps a little because he’d forgotten that Charlie was there. As if sensing that Dean is being buffeted by waves of guilt, Charlie pats him on the shoulder. “Most people don’t know.”

“I’m supposed to take care of him.” Dean says into his hands, realizing suddenly that he _wants_ to. He wants to take care of Cas, make sure he has everything he needs. But, of course, he has already failed.

There’s a moment of silence, then Kevin’s voice comes, tentatively. “You’re trying.” He says. “That’s more than 95% of alphas do. Most, they don’t care what happens to omegas, not at all.”

And yeah, that makes Dean feel slightly better for a minute, until he realizes that Cas could have gone anywhere, with anyone. What if someone else had bought the boy? He’d probably be worse off than he is now. And, surprisingly, the thought makes Dean’s heart contract painfully. Distantly, he can hear Kevin continue talking.

“I’ve had a lot of starving omegas come here, a lot of abused omegas. And it’s very rarely an alpha that brings them. Usually it’s some other omega that managed to spirit them away just long enough to bring them here and get them checked out. Then they have to go back. They have to go back to that.” He lapses into silence, and Dean is glad, because he doesn’t want to hear anymore of this. He’s never cared about omegas before, never had strong feelings one way or another, but now he finds that he does and it’s _painful_.

He hears a sigh, and then Kevin is saying, “I’m Kevin, by the way.” and Dean realizes that they were never actually introduced. He raises his head again, in what’s really the only form of politeness that he has energy for.

“Dean Winchester.” Dean tells him.

“You want some tea?” Kevin asks.

“Sure.” Some tea might be nice, and if Kevin is off making tea maybe he wont be talking about upsetting things.

Kevin rises and walks quietly into the kitchen, leaving Dean and Charlie by themselves. Dean takes a deep breath, and presses the rising tide of emotions down.

“So, are you going to get into trouble for leaving the store?” Dean asks, hoping his voice sounds normal.

Charlie shakes her head. “Nah, it’s fine.”

“Well… thanks for driving us. I really appreciate it.”

“It’s no problem.” Charlie tells him. “Didn’t have much business today anyway.”

Charlie, now she’s a mystery. A complete stranger, willing to drop everything and drive someone she’s never met to a, -what? A doctor? -at his his apartment in order to help an omega. Something seems off here, but he doesn’t want to push it.

Kevin comes back a few minutes later with a mug of hot tea and a brightly colored pamphlet. He hands both of them to Dean.

“The company that makes those,” He nods to the pamphlet. “Is complete trash. All they do is print alpha propaganda and make sure it gets shoved down everyone’s throats, but this pamphlet is actually accurate. It’s about what omegas should eat. “

“Thanks.” Dean says, flipping open the pamphlet. He recognizes the logo on the front, it’s one he sees all the time. These pamphlets are everywhere, he’s read a few. They never seemed particularly offensive to him. This, more than anything else that has happened, is what makes Dean realize that he’s in the presence of what the press has been calling “Radicals” lately. People who think alphas and omegas should be equal, that omegas should be able to live on their own, making their own decisions. Even Dean knows that the concept is ludicrous. Omegas equal? They’re not. They’re smaller and weaker and not as smart as alphas, they’re suited for housework and not much else. Why would they _want_ to live on their own? Sure, some alphas are mean, but they can’t be all bad. They can’t be as bad as Kevin says they are. And omegas making their own decisions? It’s laughable! They don’t know how the world works, what kind of decisions would they be expected to make?

So these two people, Charlie and Kevin, are omega supporting radicals. It doesn’t even make sense, Dean thinks, for alphas or betas to _be_ radicals, what’s the point? But he doesn’t say anything, because he doesn’t want a fight right now, he just wants Cas to be alright. He just sits back in his seat and does his best to tune Kevin’s voice out.

Cas is in the bathroom for a long time, a very long time, and Dean is stuck listening to Kevin go on and on about how much omegas are mistreated and how they should be treated better and bla bla bla.

Dean breathes a sigh of relief when he finally hears the bathroom door click open, and the sound of small footsteps making their way toward the living room. Cas comes timidly into the room, head bowed, hands clasped in front of himself. He’s walking alright though, and he doesn’t seem to be in pain. When he raises his head, Dean sees that he’s very pale. When he sees Dean, though, he smiles, and walks a little faster. Dean picks the boy up when he gets close, setting him in his lap and curling his arms protectively around him. Cas nuzzles in close and sighs into Dean’s shirt.

“You feelin’ better?” Dean asks, carding his fingers through Cas’ soft hair.

Cas nods against him. “Yes, Alpha.” He mumbles.

“Good.” Dean says, folding up the omega pamphlet Kevin had given him and slipping it into his pocket. “What do I owe you?” He asks the man.

Kevin stands. “Oh no, it’s no trouble.” He says, turning to disappear into the kitchen. That’s not happening though, no way Dean is going to let himself be indebted to one of these weirdos. He stands, still holding Cas close to his body, and follows Kevin into the kitchen.

“No, no, let me pay you something.” He insists.

Kevin turns from where he’s rummaging through drawers beneath his sink. In his arms he has a dozen little plastic baggies full of what look like herbs. He deposits them on the kitchen table, then goes back to get more things. Empty plastic baggies, tablespoons, teaspoons, and a small mortar and pestle make an appearance.

“I like doing this.” Kevin tells Dean as he begins to measure amounts of different herbs into an empty bag. “I like to help. Makes me feel like I’m doing something important.”

Dean is about to protest again, but Kevin cuts him off, addressing Cas.

“You’re going to make tea with this, alright?” He says, sealing the bag up and shaking it vigorously to mix all of the herbs together. “Two tablespoons to four cups of water, alright?”

Cas turns his head to look at Kevin. “Okay.” He says.

“But only take it when you’re at home, because it’ll make you have to go the bathroom.”

Cas nods.

“And don’t eat so much meat. Just a little bit if you really want it, but not much, and no more dairy, understand?”

“Okay.” Cas says again.

It’s something in his voice, the way that he’s addressing Kevin, that makes the pieces start to come together in Dean’s mind. He’s addressing him without fear, and he’s not using a title. He’s not calling Kevin “alpha” or “beta”, which seems odd because Cas is always very careful about that. There’s the smell, too. The whole apartment smells a little bit sweet, and slightly smokey. Dean hadn’t thought anything of it until now, but he doesn’t like the way it fits with the picture that’s forming in his mind.

“Are you…” he starts, but he doesn’t know how to keep going. If he’s wrong, he doesn’t want to offend Kevin, but if he’s right… if he’s right, he needs to know. “Are you an omega?”

Kevin’s hands go still where they’re making another bag of the herbs, and that in itself is telling enough, but Dean holds out hope until Kevin answers.

“Yes, I am.” He says finally.

Dean’s blood goes cold.

“But you’re on your own.” He says, and if it comes out a little hostile, it’s because it is.

“Yes, I do just fine.” Kevin tells him.

“But, I don’t- how?” Dean wonders, no longer caring if he sounds rude or not. How is Kevin living on his own, with no alpha? That’s not right.

Kevin is watching him warily, brow furrowed. “When I was born my mother made the decision to keep me. She made sure I got a proper education and I live my life very easily.”

“But I didn’t smell you!” Dean accuses. Omegas have a distinct smell, sweet and woodsy, and Dean only smells it very faintly around the apartment, but not on Kevin. It feels like a trap now, like Kevin lied to him.

“I take suppressants for my smell and heat.” Kevin tells him.

“That’s illegal!” Dean sputters.

Kevin’s face goes cold. “And selling other humans isn’t. I know. Just because it’s the law doesn’t mean it’s right.”

Dean starts to back away. He needs to get out of here, and he needs to do it now.

Kevin still looks angry, but he says, “Don’t forget the tea!”

Dean shakes his head and bolts. He doesn’t want the fucking tea, he doesn’t need it. He’ll find something else. He runs to the door, ignoring Charlie’s confused call from the living room, and speeds out of the apartment. Cas holds tight to his neck as they run down the creaky stairs and out of the building, where Dean curses himself because he’s remembering now that he didn’t bring his car, they rode with Charlie. He keeps going though, it’s only a couple of blocks, he can make it.

It’s fucking hot, and by the time they make it back to the Impala, Dean and Cas are both soaked with sweat. Cas’ purple skirt is sticking to his legs and perspiration is dripping into his eyes so he has to keep wiping it off. The inside of the car is just as hot, but when Dean turns it on there’s a blast of cool air from the vents to make them feel human again.

Dean sighs and leans back in his seat, cursing the fact that they never did get any groceries. They’re all inside the now-locked store. Fuck. He rubs the heel of his hand hard against his temple. He hasn’t felt this frayed, this unbalanced, in a long time. But he swallows down the shakey feeling.

“Guess we’re not getting groceries today.” He tells Cas. “Maybe we’ll just stop and eat somewhere.”  
“Sorry, Alpha.” Cas says sadly.

“It’s not your fault, bud, don’t worry about it.” Dean tells him.

“Yes, Alpha.” Cas agrees, but he sounds distant, and when Dean looks over the boy is frowning down at his hands.

Dean puts the car in drive and pulls out of the parking lot, hoping against hope that Cas doesn’t get any ideas from this whole debacle.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one took so long! My internet was broken for like two weeks or something it was terrible.
> 
> WARNING FOR THIS CHAPTER:  
> There's a sort-of-sexual situation that's really just a misunderstanding that is stopped right away. I'm not sure a warning is really necessary but I thought i'd be safe.  
> Also there's some drinking.

Cas sweeps the front porch slowly, thoroughly. He makes sure to get the dust out of all the cracks and dips of the old wood. There’s not much else for him to do, really. In the last two weeks he has cleaned every room in the house that isn’t locked up, there’s nothing else. If he could just get into the locked rooms, he thinks, he could clean them as well. There’s just three, one upstairs and two down, but they bother him. What’s in there? Why are they locked? He wonders about it a lot, but he doesn’t ask because it’s not his business.

  
He stills his broom and looks out over the yard, maybe he could go look around at the lake, or in the woods. Maybe. But… he probably shouldn’t. Dean let him slide the other day when he fell asleep in the yard, but after the whole business with Cas’ stomach he doesn’t want to push his luck. He’s been so much trouble, and Dean has still been very kind to him. He’s just waiting for the day that Dean realizes he’s too much trouble and decides to get rid of him. 

  
Cas leans the broom up against the porch railing and goes to sit on the steps. Splinters prickle at his legs through his new green skirt and the sun beams warmly on the top of his head. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath in. He feels the breeze, brushing past his cheeks and making his skirt flutter, tickling his ankles. The warmth of the sun begins to spread, flooding down Cas’ face, his neck, his shoulders. He does this everyday now, sits out in the sun for a while, just soaking it all in. The amount of freedom he’s given is strange and staggering and he’s not about to take it for granted. He’s going to get as much out of it as he can while it lasts. He has learned, though, that if he stays out for too long his skin gets burnt, evidenced by the still slightly tender flesh on the back of his legs from where he fell asleep in the yard the other day. So, after about fifteen minutes, he gets up, gets the broom, and goes back inside the house. 

  
The broom goes into the closet, then Cas is sighing deeply because he is, in fact, bored. It’s an entirely new sensation, not having anything to do, and he doesn’t like it one bit. He has cleaned everything there is to be cleaned, washed all that can be washed, folded the clothes and made the beds and there’s nothing left. There’s a shelf of books in the living room, but Cas isn’t sure if he’s allowed to read them and doesn’t want to risk it, he doesn’t know how to read very well in any case. He walks slowly through the downstairs hall, stopping at the first locked door. He looks at it, willing it to give up its secrets, but it doesn’t budge. He presses a hand to it, an ear, hoping for some clue about what lies behind, but it’s just a door, it has no secrets to give. He lays down on the floor to try and peer under it, but all he can see is the fuzzy green of the carpet. He sits back up and frowns unhappily. He knows he shouldn’t be so nosy, if his alpha wanted him to know what’s in the room, he know. But… he really really wants to know. 

  
The next door is much the same, there’s nothing to be learned from listening at it or trying to see under it. At this door, though, he smells something. The faint tang of unidentifiable chemicals worms its way under the door and into the curious waiting nose. Cas glares at the door, frustrated.

  
The locked door on the second floor interests him slightly less because, as far as he can tell, behind it is just a normal bedroom. When he peers under this door he can actually see things. There seems to be pale blue carpet, a bed frame, a chair, and a dresser. Besides that, Cas can’t tell. It looks incredibly ordinary, and he’s not sure why the door is locked, but he cares less about it than he does about the other doors. But, after a while, Cas gets bored with his speculating too. After a while there’s nothing more to be learned and there’s really no point. 

  
He trudges down the hall instead, dragging his feet across the rough old wooden planks. He steps inside his alpha’s room, glancing around in a slightly guilty manner. A lot of omegas would secretly be glad of this time alone, he knows. If their alphas are too mean or rough, they would revel in this peace. Cas, though, does not like it. He hates it when Dean goes to work, leaving him in this big house alone for hours on end. There’s nothing to do now and, besides that, he misses Dean. He finds himself chasing after the man’s smell, sniffing the living room couch and Dean’s chair in the kitchen. Sometimes, like now, he goes into his alpha’s bedroom, just to stand there and soak in the essence and the smell that is Dean. The room is much cleaner now, than it had been when Cas first showed up. It had been a terrible mess then, floor covered in dirty clothes, cups of sour milk sitting on the bedside table. It was absolutely disgusting, but Cas got it fixed right up in no time. He looks around the room, happily. This is his doing. His alpha can live in a nice, clean room because of Cas. But then, a sharp pain slices through his abdomen. He doubles over, clutching his stomach and grinding his teeth. It only lasts a moment, but when it’s over he’s left feeling weak and dizzy. This has been happening lately, since the day he collapsed in the store, and he’s still been having trouble going to the bathroom. Not as much trouble as before, but still some. He thinks longingly of the tea Kevin had offered, the tea to make him feel better. His alpha would never do anything to hurt him, of course, and Dean knows best but… Cas just really wishes he had accepted that tea. He climbs onto the bed, suddenly exhausted, searching for some comfort, any comfort. He shouldn’t lay in his alpha’s bed, he shouldn’t. He shouldn’t burrow under the big blue bedspread and bury his face in the soft pillow at the head of the bed that smells of campfires and motor oil, the smell of his alpha. It soothes him, and soon he’s feeling peaceful and relaxed again. The problem with that is that soon his eyes start to slip closed, slowly. At first he doesn’t notice it, and by the time he does it’s too late. He struggles to keep his eyes open, to summon the strength needed to get up and out of his alpha’s bed, but the call of sleep is too strong and he finds himself succumbing reluctantly. His eyes slip closed, he falls asleep.

-o-

When Dean comes home, the house is quiet. He lets the screen door fall shut behind him loudly, wanting to make sure Cas knows he’s there, he doesn’t want to scare the kid. But there’s no patter of little feet, no enthusiastic greeting. In the kitchen everything is off, there’s nothing on the stove and the oven is cold. Cas usually has supper ready by now and worry begins to bloom in Dean’s chest. Cas isn’t curled up on the flower-print couch in the living room, nor is he doing laundry in the laundry room. The door to the bathroom is open, and it too is empty. Dean frowns and ascends the steps to the second floor, deftly stepping over the third board up, which creaks loudly with any pressure. He doesn’t think that Cas would be asleep at this time of day, so he’s unsurprised to find the covers on Cas’ bed undisturbed. It’s on a whim that he looks into his own room at all, but after one quick glance he does a double take. Because there he is, curled up beneath Dean’s comforter, face in Dean’s pillow. 

  
Dean walks over quietly to sit on the edge of the bed next to Cas. He looks down at the boy’s face, peaceful, clear. He doesn’t look scared, he doesn’t look happy, or pained or sad or… anything. It’s odd, this blank face. To see Cas’ face in its resting state is a little disconcerting because the boy, however much he might try to remain neutral, always has his emotions playing on his face. It’s beautiful, and Dean admires how expressive he is, but this is something else entirely. Before he can stop himself, he’s reaching out. His fingers brush Cas’ soft hair back from his face, caress his little cheeks, touch the tip of his tiny nose. Cas sighs and leans into the touch, and Dean cups his hand gently around the omega’s cheek. He’s such a sweet little guy, always so happy and eager to be helpful. Even in such a short time he has improved Dean’s quality of life quite a bit, and Dean is thankful that he gave the omega a chance. Cas gives a little sigh and turns his face into Dean’s hand, nuzzling unconsciously into the familiar smell, and Dean brushes his thumb down the length of the boy’s nose. Cas wiggles his nose and then his eyes are blinking open. 

  
“Alpha?” He says sleepily. 

  
“Hey, bud.” Dean greets him. 

  
Cas’ eyes flick around the room, to Dean and the window. He gasps suddenly and bolts upright.

  
“I fell asleep! I fell asleep in your bed! I’m sorry, Alpha! I’m sorry! I didn’t make supper! Oh no!”

He scrambles out from underneath the cover and tries to leap from the bed, but Dean catches him deftly around the middle before he can get away. The boy’s face is pale, eyes wide with fear. As Dean watches, Cas’ eyes begin to fill with tears. He pulls the boy close, tucking him into his body in what he hopes is a soothing fashion.

  
“Hey, it’s alright.” He says, patting the omega’s back. “You’re okay, little man.”

  
Cas scrabbles at Dean’s shoulders, pushing back through tears. 

  
“I- I have to make supper!” He hiccups. “I’m a good omega! I’m good, I promise!”

  
Dean pulls back a little to look at Cas’ face, frowning. What’s he going on about? He seems terrified and frantic and Dean cant, for the life of him, think why. 

  
Sleep sticks to the edges of Cas’ eyes, drool dried on the corner of his mouth, and the boy’s eyes still seem hazy. He’s still a little asleep, Dean realizes suddenly, not quite all here. Maybe partially back where he came from, wherever that was. Dean really realizes then, maybe for the first time, that he doesn’t actually know what happens to omegas at the training centers. What happened to make Cas this upset?

  
He reaches up and pats the boy’s head softly. “It’s alright.” He soothes. “There’s still plenty of time for supper.”

  
Cas shakes his head, tears still running down to soak into his little blue collar, but he leans forward to stick his face into Dean’s shoulder. Dean just rubs the boy’s back, turns his face to place a small kiss into Cas’ hair. He doesn’t like this, doesn’t like it when Cas is sad and he doesn’t know the reason. It makes him feel weak, like he can’t do anything. He’s so fucking useless. 

  
After a while though, Cas begins to calm, hiccuped sobs turn to sniffles against Dean’s shoulder. Dean relaxes his hold and Cas leans back onto his heels, legs all tangled up in grass-green skirt they got from The Goodwill. He rubs his small fist against his cheeks, trying to scrub away the evidence of his crying fit.

  
“S-sorry, Alpha.” He says weakly. 

  
“It’s alright.” Dean says, chucking him under the chin with his thumb. “We have pizza in the freezer, it’ll take like a half hour to cook. No time at all. Then we’ll have plenty of time to watch a movie! How does that sound?”

  
Cas ducks his head. “Good, Alpha.” He whispers. 

  
“Good.” Dean says, giving him another kiss on the forehead. “Why don’t you go to the bathroom and wash your face and I’ll start the pizza.” 

  
“Yes, Alpha.” Cas says, lifting his face to smile up at Dean before trying to stand on wobbly legs. Dean slips his hands under the boy’s arms to lower him gently to the floor, and then Cas is scurrying quickly away toward the bathroom, skirt flapping around his ankles.

  
Dean stands, stretching his hands high up above his head in a vain effort to pop his back, yawning widely. He pushes the blankets back up the bed until they look semi-orderly and fluffs the pillow before making his way slowly out of the room. 

  
Down in the kitchen, he switches on the oven and pulls the pizza out of the freezer. It’s supreme, but he doesn’t think Cas will mind, the boy hasn’t really shown any finickiness when it comes to food. He frowns at the cardboard packaging, remembering what Kevin said about things Cas shouldn’t eat. But, then, the man had been an omega, how is Dean supposed to trust anything he said? And anyway, this is really the only quick thing they have to eat. He removes the packaging from the pizza and finds a pan to put it on before slipping it into the oven. It wasn’t all the way pre-heated, but he’s impatient.  
A few minutes later, Cas slips quietly into the kitchen and hops up onto one of the chairs pushed up to the table. He watches as Dean gets out plates and the pizza cutter.

  
“How’s your stomach feeling, bud?” Dean asks him.

  
“Fine, Alpha.” Cas says, but there’s a moment of hesitation that has Dean a little worried.

  
“Are you sure? Because last time you weren’t fine.”

  
Cas sighs and looks down at his hands. “I- um…” He says slowly. “It hurts… sometimes.”

  
Dean frowns at him. “Your stomach?”

  
Cas nods.

  
“How much?” Dean wonders.

  
Cas looks up at him and gives a small, one shouldered shrug. 

  
Dean rubs the back of his hand over his mouth roughly, trying to dispel the worried ache that sits low in his gut. “I’ll call the doctor tomorrow and get you an appointment.” He promises. “A real doctor.”

 

They watch Entrapment, because it’s a damn classic, with the pizza on the coffee table in front of them. Cas is curled up into Dean’s side, dozing a little. Dean is busy watching Katherine Zeta Jones’ very nice ass and thinking about how good it looks in all that leather when he feels something touch his crotch.  
He jumps, looking down quickly and grabbing Cas’ hand where it’s trying to get into his pants.

  
“Whoa!” He cries, pushing the boy’s curious hand away. “What do you think you’re doing?”

  
Cas looks up at him, head tipped to the left, brows furrowed in confusion.

“Helping.” He answers. “I thought…” He looked pointedly down at Dean’s crotch.  
And yeah, maybe Katherine Zeta Jones’ ass had made his dick perk up a little, but he hadn’t even noticed, honestly. This is something he needs to clear up right away.

  
He moves Cas’ hand gently but firmly back to the boy’s own lap. “You don’t do that, buddy.” He tells the boy.

  
Cas looks even more confused now. He’s frowning, lips pursed, but he doesn’t argue. “Yes, Alpha.” He concedes.

  
Dean shakes his head and leans back again, a little confused, a little worried. What made Cas think he should do that? What made him think that was okay? Did he even know what he was doing? Probably not, Dean decides. He probably saw it on television or something and hadn’t known what it meant. Yes, that makes sense and, more importantly, makes Dean feel like he can breathe easy again. He pushes it from his mind as Cas settles back against him, hands a safe distance from anyone’s dick.

-o-

When Cas snuggles into bed, it’s with confused thoughts floating about in his head. The events of the day have left him feeling perplexed. First he wasn’t punished when Dean came home and found him asleep, no supper in sight. It was a huge mistake, you should always have supper ready for your alpha and you should never fall asleep in their bed unless they directly tell you too. And of course Dean has been a kind and understanding alpha, but there’s only so many times Cas can mess up before the man’s patience gives out, and Cas had really thought that today was the day when it would happen. But there was no punishment, not even any scolding, and Cas has no idea how to take this. Then there was the occurrence during the movie, which has Cas confused in a whole different way.

  
So far Dean hasn’t asked Cas to fulfill any of his sexual needs, which is fine, his alpha knows what’s best. But then earlier he had noticed a small amount of sexual arousal in his alpha and thought that the man would be pleased if he took care of it without having to be asked. Well, apparently not. In fact, for that he did get a scolding, albeit a very small one. Does this mean he’s never supposed to take care of his alpha sexually? Was tonight just a bad night? He’s confused, and these aren’t things he can just ask his alpha, of course not! He sighs to himself and burrows deeper into his blanket, warm and soft and smelling of laundry detergent. Out the window he can see the night sky, splattered with bright stars, all looking down at him. 

  
 _What should I do_? He asks them, silently. _I always do the wrong thing, I don’t know the right way_.  
But the stars are silent. They wink down at him prettily, but offer no advice on the situation. It takes him a long time to fall asleep, and when he finally does it’s to nightmares that he won’t remember in the morning.

 

Cas doesn’t like the doctor’s office, it reeks of sharp antiseptic and the foggy smell of sickness. People keep looking at him funny, too, glancing at him sideways as if he’s a wild animal. They’re sitting in the waiting room, surrounded on all sides by egg white paint. The fluorescent lights beat down and make the people look like fakes, pale dolls with see-through skin. Cas scoots closer to Dean on the little couch, its faded rainbow cushions are hard and uncomfortable. He doesn’t want to be here, he wants to be back at Kevin’s house where everyone is nice and it smells good. But here he is in a regular doctor’s office, clinging to his alpha’s arm and trying to be brave. 

  
After a while the receptionist calls Dean’s name and the man stands, scooping Cas up to rest on his hip. They follow the woman through a door and down a hall and, while Cas is grateful for the fading drone of voices from the waiting room, this long hallway is eerie and it makes him feel dizzy. She shows them into an examining room and the two of them sit on a chair by the wall because Cas is too scared to sit on the big examining table. This room is very quiet. The paintings on the walls are of landscapes, great expanses of earth or sea with no one in them, nowhere. They make him think of books with blank pages, empty plates, dusty shelves with clean patches where something has been moved but you can’t tell what. There are a few old magazines on a little rack by the door, outdated and stained by age and skin oil. Cas does not like it here. He stays very still and quiet, hoping that if he’s still enough Dean will forget why they’re here and they can leave.

  
About ten minutes later the door clicks open and a nurse comes in. She goes to a little desk with a computer on it and begins to ask Dean questions. He cuts her off.

  
“I’m actually not here for me.” He tells her. “I wanted to get him checked out.” He gestures toward Cas with his chin. 

  
The nurse blinks. “I beg your pardon?” 

  
“He’s been having stomach pains and I thought we should get it looked at.” Dean elaborates.

  
“He’s… an omega.” The nurse says, and Cas gets a sick, nervous feeling in his belly. It’s strong and urgent and he just wants to leave, why can’t they see that he just wants to leave? He knows he’s not supposed to be here, this is a doctor for alphas, he wishes that they could see this wasn’t his idea. 

  
“Well, yeah.” Dean agrees. “But I’ve been coming to Doc. Lester since I was a kid, you know? I just thought it’d be easier.”

  
The woman frowns. “Doctor Lester is not an omega specialist. I think you’d be better suited finding one who is. There’s a clinic in Astridge, I can give you directions if you’d like.” He voice is polite, but her posture is tense and her expression is unhappy. 

  
“Look,” Dean says, and he’s frowning now too. “We’re already here, can’t you just take a look at him? I live forty-five minutes away, for god’s sake.”

  
“Sir-” She starts.

  
“Come on, don’t give me that crap!” Dean says, voice rising. Cas can feel his alpha’s muscles tensing and he clings tighter to the man because he doesn’t know what else to do. “Just fucking take a look at him, it’ll take two goddamn seconds!”

  
Waves of anger are flowing off of Dean now, smelling like sulphate and bleach. It makes Cas’ stomach seize up in fear, his alpha is angry, his alpha is dangerous. The woman can smell it too, she raises her hands in a placating motion. 

  
“Alright, alright.” She says. “I-I’ll take a look.”

  
“Thank you.” Dean snaps, picking Cas up under his arms and handing him to the nurse, whose hands are shaking slightly. 

  
She holds Cas away from her body as she carries him to the table, setting him down quickly like he’s a disease she might catch.  
She checks his heartbeat and his breathing, presses on his stomach and looks squeamishly into his mouth. Finally, she shakes her head.

  
“I’m not finding anything out of the ordinary.” She says. “Omegas all have weak constitutions. If he’s complaining of a stomach ache I’d simply suggest better disciplinary techniques. If they’re allowed to complain they’ll take advantage of it.”

  
“That’s it?” Dean asks incredulously.

  
“That’s my medical opinion.” The nurse retorts. “Now I suggest you leave before Doctor Lester gets here, he’ll not be as understanding about this whole…” She looks at Cas. “ _Situation_ as I was.”

  
They leave quickly, Dean pulling Cas along by his hand, still radiating waves of anger that make Cas feel like he’s going to throw up. When they get into the car Dean slams his door hard and Cas flinches back into his seat. 

  
“Guess we’re going to the goddamn clinic.” Dean growls, jerking the car violently into gear. 

  
The drive to Astridge is tense and silent. Dean mutters angrily under his breath and Cas tries to be invisible. When they pull up at the clinic Dean is still as angry as before and Cas’ hands are shaking with fear as he follows the big man inside the long, squat building. When they enter though the swinging door, though, Dean stops short. 

  
The place is disgusting, broken chairs on a floor that looks to have never seen broom or mop. The registration desk is set behind a thick sheet of bulletproof glass, streaked with oils and who knows what else. The air is stuffy and it smells like body odor and vomit. Most of the omegas scattered about are alone, sitting curled in on themselves. There are a couple of alphas sitting stiffly around the room, but it’s mostly the guards standing at the doors that are keeping the buzz of fear so thick here. 

  
Dean takes a step back, then another. He turns quickly, taking hold of Cas’ hand, and leads the boy back out of the building. Cas takes a deep breath of the clean air here, holding it in his lungs for as long as he can before letting it out again as they walk back to the car. Dean says nothing, but his angry smell now has a citrus scent to it, like oranges. Worry, Cas realizes. It’s worry. Dean’s anger is blunted by worry. 

  
When they get into the car, Dean doesn’t turn it on. He just sits there with his hands on the wheel, frowning. He glances over at Cas, then back to his hands. His smell swirls around the car, changing oddly here and there in ways Cas doesn’t understand. He wants to help, but he isn’t sure what he should do, so he stays quiet. After a while Dean lets out a breath, turns the keys in the ignition, and pulls out of the parking lot. They don’t head home right away, they stop at Dairy Queen and Dean gets Cas a bowl of ice cream. It upsets his stomach, but it’s one of the most wonderful thing he has ever tasted so he doesn’t even care, he eats all of it.

-o-

The incident at the doctor’s office and the clinic sticks with Dean through the following weeks. It’s all he can think about in his spare moments, the hostility of the nurse, the squalor of the clinic. It shouldn’t be like that. Maybe omegas are smaller and not as smart, but everyone should be allowed decent healthcare. He cares about Cas, the omega has brought much-needed light and companionship into his life, in addition to keeping everything clean. He gives Dean a reason to get out of the bed in the morning, something to look forward to, makes sure the man eats three meals a day. And yeah, he doesn’t say much, but he’s a sweet kid and he deserves some semblance of healthcare, at the very least. 

  
He needs to think, away from distractions and sweet eyes and… everything. He finds himself retreating to the study. It’s a room downstairs that used to be his father’s, a little office with big wooden desk and bookshelves climbing the walls. He keeps the door locked because… well, because he doesn’t want the memory of his father to get out. He want it here, in this dusty controlled space. He doesn’t need it floating around and mucking up his head. Occasionally he’ll come here, locking the door securely behind him, and he’ll just sit. Or he’ll read some of the books that sit around gathering dust. They’re mostly books about cars, but there are some western novels thrown in too. Dean’s dad loved those. He has to be careful not to wallow when he’s in the study, because it comes easily. Here he is, enveloped in the memory of his father, his father who is gone, dead, because of Dean. In the past he hasn’t stopped himself from wallowing, he’d go in with a bottle of whiskey and he’d drain the thing. He’d end up sobbing and throwing up someplace, but what did it matter, really? Now though, he has to keep it together. If he ends up plastered he’ll scare the kid.  
But… the longer he’s in the study, the more his fingers itch to reach for the fifth of whiskey he knows is in the bottom-right desk drawer. Everything weighs on him, here. Not only the deaths of his parents, now, but the fact that he can’t get a doctor that he has known since birth to take a quick look at his omega. The fact that he doesn’t know how to care for the kid, he can’t keep him healthy and safe. He couldn’t keep his parents healthy and safe either. He can’t keep anyone safe. He’s no good, no good to anyone. And somehow that smooth, cool bottle of golden liquid is in his hand, and it must be destiny, right? Must be… fate or… something. He leans back his head and tips the bottle into his mouth until his mouth is burning instead of his heart, until he’s choking instead of crying, until he doesn’t care what he feels anymore.

-o-

Dean is nowhere to be found, not in the kitchen or the living room, the bathroom or any of the bedrooms, and Cas is perplexed. It’s getting dark, the stars are popping into view in the sky and the lightning bugs are coming out of hiding to play in the dusk. Dinner is ready, Cas has everything set out. He made lasagna and salad and he’s pretty sure it looks good. This is the first time he has made lasagna outside of The Center and he’s pretty proud of himself. But… where is Dean? His car is still out front and Cas doesn’t remember hearing the man leave the house, but he can’t find him anywhere. 

  
He’s beginning to panic when he hears a thump from the downstairs hall. It’s toward the back of the house, where the hallway grows dark and the doors are locked. 

  
He walks slowly down the hall, wary and ready to bolt if anything should jump out at him. He tries to be quiet, but he feels like the floor creaks extra loudly. There’s a bit of light shining from underneath a door at the end of the hall, one of the locked ones. He stands before it nervously, unsure of what to do. He reaches up finally, and knocks once, but the only reply is a muffled groan. Cas is seized with the sudden fear that his alpha is inside, injured, and he lunges forward to open the door. It swings inward easily, no longer locked, on hinges that creak loudly due to disuse. The room he steps inside is dimly light, so it takes a few moments to make out the tall shelves covered in books and dust, the big mahogany desk. He takes two steps into the room before it hits him, a wall of alcohol smell and self-loathing mixed together into a caustic fog. He chokes and jerks backward, tripping over his own feet and smashing into a table sitting by the door. Books and trinkets rain down around him and he lets out a shocked noise. At the sound, a head jerks up from behind the desk. It’s Dean… and at the same time it isn’t. It someone darker, angrier.

  
“Get out!” Not-Dean roars, spittle and alcohol flying from his mouth.

  
A panic more through than any he’s ever experienced grips Cas’ heart and squeezes hard. Dean has never yelled at him before, he’s never seen Dean consume alcohol before, this is wrong, it has turned him into something inhuman. And, because Cas always does as he’s told, he runs. He runs out of the room, down the hall, and out of the house.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long/is kind of short. I've had a rough couple weeks and I didnt get to work on it as much as I would have liked. I wanted it to be longer once I posted it but I was taking forever and I wanted to give you guys _something_ so I decided to just go ahead and post what I had. So, I hope that's alright. And I hope you all have a great Valentine's day (or, if you don't celebrate, a great regular day)!

Castiel runs out the front door and into the night, stumbling down the steps and into the grass. He rounds the house and sprints toward the woods behind it, because he doesn’t know where he’s going or what he’s doing but some part of him remembers that he had wanted to see these woods before. It’s a long way to the woods though, longer than he thought. Sticks and rocks and thorns tear into his bare feet, sending shocks of pain up his legs. They’re too soft, _he’s_ too soft. He has barely been here a month and already he has forgotten what pain is like, what punishment is like, and it hurts even worse than it did to begin with. He’s panting by the time he makes it to the treeline, out of breath. He is unused to this sort of physical exertion. But he presses on, wanting to get as far away as possible, because his alpha is angry, his alpha doesn’t want him, and he doesn’t know how to deal with it.

He keeps running and running, heart pounding so loud that he can hear it, can feel it behind his eyes. He trips more than once, because it’s growing dark and he’s panicking, tearing the skin of his hands and knees. He runs for what seems like hours, until he physically can’t run anymore, until his feet give out and he collapses onto the ground. He curls up into himself, tucking his knees close to his chest, to make himself as small as possible. He can feel the hot ball of emotion welling up in his throat, and he doesn’t have the strength to stop it. He chokes on it, lets the tears run down his cheeks unchecked, muffles his sobs into his skirt. He’s tired, so tired. Not just in his muscles, but in his heart as well. Because he has one purpose, _one purpose_ , and if his alpha doesn’t want him then none of it matters. Nothing he’s done, nothing he’s gone through, none of it matters. His life doesn’t matter. And, perhaps for the first time, he wants it to matter. He _can_ be a good omega, if he could just have one last chance. But he always messes things up and now everything is ruined. He ruined something good, the best thing that ever happened to him. The best thing that will ever happen to him. Of course he did.  
Eventually he cries himself to sleep there on the forest floor, to exhausted to even look for shelter.

 

The first thing Cas is aware of, when he wakes, his how much he hurts. How much everything hurts. His arms and legs burn, unused muscles screaming from abuse. His palms hurt, his knees hurt, his feet hurt. His head is pounding too, a dull throb sounds like a drumbeat behind his eyes. He’s laying on things that are pricking his thin skin, and his neck has a painful crick.

  
He opens his eyes slowly, wary of the light that pierces sharply into his eyes, raising his arm to shield his face from the rays. He sits up, looking blearily around until he thinks to rub the sticky sleep out of his eyes. At first the woods around him seem still, but as he sits silently he notices that this isn’t the case. Birds flit through the thick canopy of trees above him, calling sharply out to each other. Mice and squirrels dart in the underbrush, just out of sight. Bugs scurry along the forest floor, ants and ladybugs, spiders and worms. A bee buzzes by Cas’ face, and he watches it go, dazedly. The woods are beautiful, really, the light filtering down through the leaves above, but Cas’ back aches and his mouth feels like it has cotton in it and he really has to pee. His legs itch too, and when he reaches down to scratch at them under his skirt his fingers come back bloody. He hikes the skirt up to his thighs to peer down at his legs, finding them covered in little red bumps. They itch badly, and some of them are open and bleeding from where he scratched at them. He hisses and drops the skirt back over his legs so that he doesn’t have to look at the mess. He breathes out then, heavily, and drops his face into his hands. What has he done? Should he have stayed there last night and risked Dean’s wrath? He rubs hard at his eyes, leaving them stinging, spots dancing through his vision. He doesn’t know, he just doesn’t know. 

  
He sits there for a long time, watching as the breeze ruffles the leaves on the trees and bushes, whispers through the grass, wondering what he should do next. He should probably head back, he decides, he overreacted last night. He’ll make breakfast and Dean will punish him and maybe everything will be alright. When he gets to his feet though, and dusts dirt and fallen leaves from his legs and butt, he realizes that he has no idea which direction home is. Last night he had been panicking and it had been dark, he had run fast and far, blinded by tears and fear, and he had made it surprisingly far into the forest. Now it all looks the same, just huge trees in every direction, stretching into the distance. He closes his eyes again, trying to remember. Maybe some branch that he tripped on? Or a footprint? But the forest floor is covered in a thick, springy grass that gives nothing away, and Cas feels his heart rate speeding up as he begins to panic. He clenches his fists. No! He won’t panic, he won’t! He just… he just needs to get moving. He’ll feel better once he gets moving.  
He looks around, picks a direction, and starts to walk. Almost immediately he encounters a problem in the form of his bare feet. They feel like they’re on fire, and when he examines them he finds them covered in cuts. How he made it so far last night is a mystery. He continues to limp in his chosen direction though, resolutely ignoring the pain in his feet. He has endured worse pain than this, he tells himself, even if he doesn’t quite believe it. 

 

Cas has been walking for hours, his feet are leaving bloody smears on the fallen leaves that coat the ground. He’s hungry and he’s thirsty, his legs feel like jelly and he thinks he might throw up or maybe faint. At this point he’s pretty sure he’s going in the wrong direction, but he can’t turn around now and he’s hoping that maybe he’ll come across a road or something. 

  
He never comes across a road, but eventually he stumbles into someone’s backyard. It’s wide and green, the grass cut neatly and uniformly. When Cas stumbles out of the woods at the edge of the property he sees a nice white house. There’s a big tree with a tire swing and a child-sized playhouse as well. The playhouse is what Cas goes too, because he’s too tired, he can’t do this anymore, he just needs a rest. He’s too far gone to think about falling asleep in someone’s backyard, how likely he is to be caught. He just crawls in, shutting the flimsy plastic door behind him, and passes out in the corner.

 

-o-

 

Dean’s head feels like shit. It’s stuffy and pounding and _shit_ he’s way too old for hangovers like this. The first thing he does after opening his eyes is vomit into the wastebasket, the second is to wish he were dead. Once he gets over that he sits up slowly, groaning as his muscles scream in pain.

  
“Cas?” He calls out, throat scratchy and burning. But Cas doesn’t come. Dean blinks wearily and gets unsteadily to his feet. He stumbles slowly to the door, tripping over trinkets that are scattered over the floor.

  
“Cas!” He calls again, wondering why the boy hasn’t come scurrying in yet.   
He vomits again in the bathroom, but at least it’s in the toilet. He washes the taste of bile out of his mouth and rubs water over his face to get the sleep out of his eyes.

  
“Fuuuck.” He groans when he sees himself in the mirror. He looks dead, pale skin, sunken, bloodshot eyes edged by dark circles. He brushes his teeth, trying his hardest to ignore his churning stomach, and ventures into the kitchen. He expects to see Cas there, standing on a chair to reach the stove, making breakfast. Or lunch. Whatever time of day it is. But he’s not there. Dean frowns and walks across the hall to poke his head into the living room, but there’s so sign of the boy there either. The beginnings of worry spin in his stomach, making him even more nauseous, but he braves the stairs anyway to look in Cas’ room, as well as his own. Both are empty, and Dean sits heavily down on Cas’ little bed to think. He remembers beginning to drink, he remembers feeling useless and awful and then… he _does_ remember yelling at the omega in an overwhelming fit of frustration – mostly directed at himself – but surely… surely the boy hadn’t, what? Run away? Dean scoffs, of course not! Cas would never do that! But he’s nowhere in the house and it’s possible that Dean did yell at him to “get out” last night. But that’s not… that’s not what he _meant_. He’d only wanted some privacy. More time to wallow with his ghosts and drown himself in drink. 

  
It’s an hour later, after scouring the whole house and walking around outside yelling the boy’s name, that it _really_ hits Dean. Cas is gone. He’s gone. Dean sits down on the ground where he is and drops his head into his hands. He’s fucked it up. Imagine that. Him, fucking something up _again_. Who’d’ve seen _that_ coming? Anyone with eyes, really.

  
He struggles to pull his phone out of his pocket and punch in the number, wincing at the loud tone. It takes a few long moments before he hears a voice on the other end.

  
“ _Hello?_ ” Says Sam.

  
“Sam.” Dean sighs. “I fucked up.”

 

-o-

 

The sound of shouting brings Cas roughly back into consciousness, and he freezes, panicked. But the sound is muffled, so much that he can’t make out any words at all, just volumes, so he surmises that it can’t be directed at him. He’s stays very still anyway though, curled up in the little playhouse, the sharp smell of plastic pricking at his nostrils. 

  
Eventually the shouting stops, and Cas hears a door slam shut. Then there are light, running footsteps and muffled sobbing. Cas has a panicked moment of realization that he probably should _not_ have slept in a playhouse in someone’s yard before the door opens and a small, crying figure tumbles in. 

  
It’s a girl. She has short, curly dark hair and she looks about Cas’ age. The crackling sting of anger clings heavily to her skin. She isn’t wearing a collar, so Cas thinks that she isn’t an omega. He has only a moment to observe before she sees him hurdled there. Her eyes are brown and sharp as they land on him. She hurriedly rubs her eyes with the heels of her hands and pretends that she wasn’t just crying.

  
“Who are you?” She demands to know. 

  
Cas sits up slowly, warily. He’s not sure what the protocol is for this situation, he has never conversed with another child who wasn’t an omega. But her eyes demand an answer, so he gives one.

  
“Cas.” He says quietly.

  
The girl sniffs and rubs her fist under her nose. “Where’d you come from?”

  
“The woods.” He tells her. 

  
She frowns at him. “You’re all dirty.” She observes.

  
“Yes.” Cas agrees.

  
“And your feet have blood all over ‘em.”

  
“Yes.” He agrees again. 

  
She looks at him curiously for some time. “Are you running away?” She asks.

  
“I… I suppose so.” Cas admits. Technically, that’s what he’s doing. “But I want to go back.” He tells her. “I got lost.”

  
Her face crumples then, and she gives up on pretending that she wasn’t crying earlier. “I wish I could run away.” She whispers. “I wouldn’t ever come back.” 

She sniffs again. 

  
“Are you okay?” Cas wonders.

  
The girl shrugs. “He just gets mad, my dad.” She points out the little cut-out window. When Cas looks out he can see the house, and through a large window he can see a sharp moving shadow. The sight of it makes his stomach twist with dread. 

  
“It scares me.” She says, rubbing her arm. When Cas looks, he can see the beginnings of a bruise blooming there. 

  
“Why can’t you leave?” 

  
The girl frowns. “He’d find me.” She says. “He always finds me, even if I hide.”

  
Cas watches her, he doesn’t say anything. 

  
“I’m Meg.” She says after a while. “Are you an omega?”

  
“Yes.” Cas tells her.

  
She furrows her dark eyebrows. “You don’t seem stupid.” 

  
“… Thank you?” Cas says uncertainly.

  
“Dad says omegas are stupid. But _he’s_ stupid and mean,” She says spitefully. “So, maybe he’s wrong.”

  
Cas smiles at her. “Thank you.” He says, surely this time.

  
Meg sighs and scoots over to sit by Cas. “Why did you run away?” She asks.

  
Cas looks down and frowns, picking at his nails absently. “My alpha got mad and told me to go away.”

  
“Why?”

  
“I… I don’t know.” Cas says. “I did… something. I don’t know what.”

  
Meg nods understandingly. “Dad says I do things wrong a lot, even if I don’t.”

  
Cas looks up at her, worried. It’s not the same. It’s not the same at all. “My alpha would never hurt me.” He insists. “He’s good!”

  
“Then why did he get mad and tell you to go away?”

  
“I- I messed up. I’m sure I did _something_. And he was drinking alcohol, I’d never seen him do that before.”

  
Meg’s eyebrows go up. “My dad drinks alcohol. That’s when he gets meanest.”

  
Cas purses his lips, confused. “Does it just make them mean?”

  
Meg shrugs.

  
“Why do they do that?”

  
She shrugs again. “Grownups are stupid?” She offers. 

  
Cas huffs, but smiles a little. “Yeah, maybe.”

  
Meg is quite for a few minutes, picking thoughtfully at the hem of her shirt. “Can I run away with you?” She asks after a while.

  
Cas looks at her. She looks small, and sad. Her clothes are faded and warn and her skin has an unhealthy color.

  
“It’s no fun.” He tells her. “I’m hungry and lost and my feet hurt. And I’m going back anyway, as soon as I know the way.”

  
“I can get food!” Meg says earnestly. “And you can wear a pair of my shoes and I could help you find your way home, maybe!”

  
Cas wrings his hands anxiously. He’s not sure. Taking her with him could cause all sorts of problems. But, then, he is very lonely and very hungry and his feet do hurt a lot. “All right.” He says.

 

They hide in the playhouse until dark, then Meg sneaks back into the house while Cas waits nervously by the back steps. When she comes back out she has a bulging backpack slung over her shoulder and a pair of faded blue sneakers in her hand. She hands Cas the sneakers, and he slips them on quickly.

  
“Do you have any food?” He whispers.

  
“Yes,” She whispers back. “We can eat it once we’re out of here. Come on.”

  
They sneak around the outside of the house, crouching in the shadows. The house is just off a wide road and the two of them walk alongside it, headed toward town. They figure that it will be easier to get back home from somewhere Cas is familiar with. Cas’ feet still hurt a lot, but at least they’re not getting any worse. They eat breakfast bars from Meg’s backpack while they walk, and Cas’ stomach finally quiets down. 

  
“Why didn’t you run away before?” Cas asks. 

  
“I dunno. Feels better with someone else here, like maybe it’ll actually work.”

  
Cas nods. He gets that. 

 

-o-

 

Sam and Jess must have broken the speed limit _hard_ , because they show up a short forty-five minutes later. Dean is _not_ looking forward to the inevitable talking to he knows he’ll get once he explains this whole situation, so he tells them just the basics, that Cas is gone and he doesn’t know where. They trample through the woods, calling for Cas all loud as they can, but they don’t find him. Jess stays at the house while Sam and Dean take the car and drive down all the roads in the area, but they don’t find Cas. They go into town and look, they ask the townspeople if they’ve seen the boy and they try to get the police to help, but they’re brushed off and laughed at. No one cares about a missing omega, they tell Dean that he should have kept the kid locked up.

  
The day goes on and darkness begins to creep up and Dean is ball of nerves and worry.

  
“You have to calm down, Dean.” Sam says from the passenger seat of the Impala. 

  
Dean purses his lips and thumps the heel of his hand on the worn leather of the steering wheel. “How am I supposed to calm down, Sam? This is all my fuckin’ fault and now he’s gone and I- I just- _fuck_!”

  
“Pull over, Dean.” Sam says.

  
“I’m fine,” Dean insists. “It’s fine.”

  
“Dean-”

  
“We don’t have time to stop, Sam! What if he’s hurt somewhere? What if-”

  
“Goddammit, Dean, _pull over_!” Sam demands. And for a moment, he sounds like John. He sounds like their father. All the authority in his voice makes Dean’s muscles respond before he even knows what he’s doing. He pulls the Impala to the side of the road, hitting the rumble strips and making the wheel vibrate like it’s alive. But now he just feels…. small. Empty. For a millisecond he almost thought that maybe his father was sitting next to him, but it’s not his father, it’s Sam, looking like he’s ready to chastise Dean. 

  
Dean squeezes the steering wheel again and again, trying to focus on the way it gives familiarly. Beside him, Sam sighs.

  
“Are you going to tell me what happened?” He wonders.

  
Dean rubs one hand roughly over the back of his neck, feeling the prickle of hair against his palm. “I got drunk. Cas surprised me and I yelled at him to get out. And, I guess he took it too literally.” He says

.  
“Alright. Why were you drunk?”

  
Dean stares out the windshield for a long time before answering. “Started thinkin’ about mom and dad. Fucked me up.”

  
“Dean,” Sam starts softly, “You know it wasn’t your fault-”

  
“I don’t want to sit here and talk about it, Sam!” Dean snaps. “You asked me why I was drinking and I told you. Now, can we get back to looking for my damn omega? Who knows what kind of trouble he could be in?”

  
“I don’t think you’re in any condition to drive, Dean.” Sam says, voice laced with frustrating concern. 

  
“I’m _fine_!” Dean insists.

  
“Let me drive for a while.”

  
“No way!”

  
Sam rolls his eyes. “Look, you’re distracted. It’ll be safer if I drive and you look for Cas.”

  
Dean mulls it over. He doesn’t like the idea of _anyone_ else behind behind the wheel, but it does make sense. As loathe as he is to admit it, he’s frazzled. He’s anxious and he’s having a hard time concentrating. If he rides shotgun he’d only have to concentrate on one thing instead of two. 

  
“Fine.” He says. 

  
He and Sam switch seats, it feels odd to be sitting on the passenger side. The worn dent in the seat isn’t the same as the one on the driver’s side and now that he can’t fiddle with the steering wheel he doesn’t know what to do with his hands. He sucks it up though, he takes a deep breath and makes an effort to calm himself down, they keep looking.

 

-o-

 

Jess treads softly through Dean’s empty house, careful not to disturb any of the ghosts that lurk in the woodwork. She walks up the creaky stairs and down the hall, she steps into Cas’ bedroom. It’s very clean, there’s nothing here to cause any clutter. If she didn’t know better, Jess wouldn’t believe that a child lived here. But there’s a book on the bedside table that catches her eye, and she goes to it, curious. She picks it up carefully, weighing it in her hand. It’s the blue paperback book about training omegas, the one that came with Cas when she and Sam bought him. She hadn’t bothered to read it, assuming Dean would. The cover is pristine though, the pages untouched. When she cracks it open the spine pops and crackles and the new book smell still clings to the pages. She sits down on the side of Cas’ little bed and, with nothing else to do, starts to read. Throughout the next half hour her expression shifts from one of curiosity, to one of disgust. At last, she puts the book down, unable to read anymore. She puts her hand over her mouth, she feels like she’s going to be sick.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know if you spot any mistakes!

“Car!” Meg whispers loudly.

  
She and Cas dart quickly off the road to duck into the bushes. Branches catch on the fabric of Cas’ skirt and he winces when he hears a ripping sound. They hide there and watch as a big blue truck roars by. Cas looks at Meg, who shakes her head.

  
“That wasn’t my dad.” She tells him. 

  
They both breath a sigh of relief and move back onto the road. They’ve been walking for a very long time, longer than Cas cares to think about. His feet hurt so badly that they’re almost numb, sweat is dripping off of his forehead, under his arms, behind his knees, and his thighs are chafing, which hurts _a lot_. 

  
Cas huffs. “How far from town are we?”

  
Meg shrugs. “I just know that this road goes to town.” She says. 

  
Cas allows himself a small groan of frustration, but other than that he says nothing. Being around Meg is odd, because he knows she isn’t an omega, but other than that he’s not sure what she is, and he doesn’t really know how to act around her. It’s confusing, but also a little freeing. She doesn’t seem to care what he does or says, whether or not he’s acting above his station. They just talk, and despite the situation, it feels kind of… nice. 

  
“Do you have brothers and sisters?” Meg asks.

  
“Yes.” Says Cas. “I have a sister and three brothers. I haven’t seen them since I was little.”

  
Meg snorts. “You’re _still_ little.” 

  
Cas frowns. “I’m not _that_ little.”

  
“How old are you?” Meg wonders.

  
“Nine.” Cas tells her.

  
“I’m nine too, and I’m _way_ taller than you!” She declares.

  
“You are not!” Cas argues. 

  
Then they have to stop while the two of them stand back to back to see which one of them is taller. Meg is, of course, and for the first time in his nine years Cas curses his genetics for making him small.

 

 

They stumble into the town of River’s Ridge after hours and hours of walking. Meg reaches over and unclasps Cas’ collar from around his throat and stuffs it into her pocket.

  
“Hey, what are you doing?” Cas wonders.

  
“If people know you’re an omega, they might try to take you!” She hisses.  
Cas straightens up, realizing that she’s right. He turns his arm in toward his body so that the numbers printed on his wrist aren’t visible. He doesn’t want anyone to take him away. 

  
The two of them collapse on the first park bench they come across and take some time to rest their feet and discuss strategy. 

  
“What now?” Meg wonders, picking at the mint green paint that peels easily away from the wood of the bench. 

  
Cas wrinkles his nose. “Maybe I can find the road that goes to Dean’s house.” He muses, but he doesn’t really know. All the streets look the same here and, without Dean to guide him, all the buildings are huge and imposing. 

  
They sit there for a while longer, sweating and trying to catch their breath. Then they start back down the road. 

  
“I don’t recognize any of this.” Cas moans. 

  
“Me neither.” Meg replies. “But Dad doesn’t let me come shopping with him, so I’ve only been here once.”

  
“Why doesn’t he let you come with him?”

  
“I get in the way.” Meg tells him. 

  
Cas hums thoughtfully. Meg doesn’t seem particularly in the way. When they’re almost separated by a crowd of teenagers Meg grabs Cas by the hand and pulls him to safety before he’s trampled. 

  
They quickly find themselves lost again in the maze of streets that look the same and storefronts that are too big. Soon Cas is shaking with anxiety. He’s come so far, only to get lost again! To make it worse, that familiar pain is back in his stomach, and he’s walking hunched over which makes his back ache. 

  
“Are you okay?” Meg asks. 

  
Cas nods tersely. “It’s just my stomach.” He grunts. “It happens sometimes.” 

  
“We can stop if you want…”

  
Cas shakes his head. “Let’s keep going. We- we have to find the road.”

  
Meg puts her arm around Cas’ shoulder to steady him and they continue to do an awkward sort of shuffle down the unknown street. Everything is beginning to get very overwhelming, the sharp smells of motor oil and human skin clog up in Cas’ nose and he wants to throw up. Just as he feels he can’t go any further there’s a flash of familiar red and Cas sees the sign for that little grocery store he and Dean went to those weeks ago. He remembers the friendly red-haired girl behind the cash register and how she’d helped him. She had smelled warm and comforting, familiar. Maybe she’s working again.

  
“There!” He points at the store weakly. “Lets go in there.”

  
They cross the street slowly, carefully, and push inside the store. It’s quiet, the little bell above the door sounds loudly as they come in. It’s smells like stale bread and lemon cleaning products in here, but when Cas casts his eyes about the store, his heart leaps. She’s here! Sitting there behind the counter, doing the crossword in the newspaper with a bored expression on her face. 

  
Cas lurches forward with a burst of new strength, dragging Meg with him. He stumbles up to the side of the counter and raps hard on the wood.

  
“Hello?” He says.

  
He hears a chair scraping, and then the red haired girl is coming around the counter.

  
“Oh my god!” She exclaims when she sees them. “What happened to you? Are you alright?” She goes to her knees and presses a hand under his chin so that she can look him in the eye.

  
“Got lost.” Cas says wearily. He doesn’t have the energy to explain the whole situation to her, he just hopes this will be enough.

  
“Alright, okay.” She steps back to make room for him to step by her behind the counter. “It’s alright, now, don’t worry.” 

  
Cas squeezes past her and finds himself comfortably surrounded by the counter on all sides. It makes him feel safe, and he sits down on the floor.

  
“And who’s this?” The red-haired girl asks when Meg follows.

  
“Meg.” Says Meg. She offers no other information about herself, but scowls up at this stranger.

  
The girl smiles. “I’m Charlie.” She says, but Meg doesn’t respond. 

  
Charlie turns back to Cas, who is sitting leaned against a box. “You need some water? Food?” She asks.

  
Cas nods. “Yes, please.” He whispers.

  
Everything is okay. Everything is alright. Charlie is a grownup. A _good_ grownup. He doesn’t really understand the scents that surround her, how she doesn’t smell like any gender specifically, but he knows that she’s kind, and he feels deeply that things will be alright now. She’ll help him find Dean, she’ll help him get home. 

  
With this thought, he slides into unconsciousness. 

 

-o-

 

The search for Cas has gotten nowhere. They’ve been searching all night, going down every road they can think of, tramping around in the woods for hours. Dean didn’t sleep last night, of course he didn’t, how could he? He kept driving around, he and Sam switching out on driving every few hours. The police are still no help, and Dean feels deeply wronged. How could they not care about his omega? How? 

  
When he and Sam pull up to Dean’s house, his hands are shaking on the wheel. He’s exhausted and frustrated, and he doesn’t know what else to do. He needs get back out there, keep looking, but Sam insisted they at least stop by the house to check on Jess. 

  
Dean walks heavily up the porch steps and trudges into the house. He doesn’t want to be here. It’s just a constant reminder of all the ways he has failed in his life, all the ways he has let down the people he cares about. God, why is he even living here? Why did he think it would be a good idea? 

  
He lets the screen door bang shut, earning an annoyed huff from Sam, who comes in behind him. The house smells like food, and Dean has a moment of hope when he thinks maybe Cas has come home, but when he walks into the kitchen it’s just Jess and his heart plummets. 

  
“Hey guys.” Jess says from the stove, stirring a big pan of hamburger helper.  
Dean gives a small, defeated wave before collapsing into a chair at the kitchen table. He folds his arms over the tabletop and rests his head on them. He can hear Sam and Jess talking.

  
“Any sign of Cas?” Sam asks, and Dean knows what the answer is going to be before he even hears it.

  
“No.” Jess replies. “Nothing.” but she sounds a little odd. 

  
Dean hears Sam sigh. “We’ve looked everywhere.” He says, but he doesn’t suggest that they give up, and Dean is thankful for that. 

  
They eat a quick meal, and Dean thinks it’s not quite as good as Cas’, and then Dean is standing and saying, “We better get back out there.” Because he’s not going to rest until he finds his omega. 

 

-o-

 

Cas feels warm, he feels safe, he feels comfortable. There’s a softness beneath his head, but there’s also something cool and wet nudging at his lower lip. He groans and opens his eyes a little, blinking sleepily. The thing nudging his lips a bottle of water, with Charlie’s hand attached to it.

  
“Hey there, bud.” She says. “Why don’t you drink some of this?”

  
Cas’ hands come up and take the water bottle from her to bring it to his mouth properly. He takes one drink, and there’s no going back. He hadn’t realized how thirsty he was, how chapped his lips were. He gulps the liquid down, paying no attention to Charlie’s “Whoa, slow down!”

  
He drains it all and hold the crinkly plastic in his hand for a moment while he gasps for breath. Meg is still here too, he notices once he finally gets his breath, and it surprises him a little. For some reason, he’s sort of thought that she’d leave him as soon as she got the chance. He’s glad she didn’t. 

  
“Thank you.” He says, handing the trash to Charlie. 

  
She takes it and immediately hands him a banana, a little soft and spotted brown. “Here, eat this.” She tells him.

  
He does, and it’s wonderful. He hasn’t tried a lot of fruit, but what he has tried he loves. Except mangoes. He doesn’t like mangoes. 

  
Once he’s finished, he feels a little better, and Charlie gives him a smile when he hands her his banana peel.

  
He sits up a little and looks around, feeling more alert than he did before. “Did you get something to eat?” He asks Meg.

  
“Yeah.” She tells him. “I ate a banana too. That was like ten minutes ago, you’ve been asleep forever.”

  
Cas looks up at Charlie, who rolls her eyes and shakes her head. “About twenty minutes.” She tells him. “Seems like you needed it.”

  
Cas nods, he’s exhausted. He wants to go to sleep and never get up. Already he can feel his eyes getting heavy again. “Got to… get back to my alpha.” He mutters. 

  
Charlie smiles kindly down at him. “Alright sweetheart, we’ll find your alpha. Why don’t you take a nap and I’ll wake you up in a little while when my shift is over so we can figure things out.”

  
Cas nods, that sounds very good to him. More sleep. More sleep is good. He yawns big and goes to lay back down, barely registering that there’s a little blanket underneath him to protect from the chill of the floor. 

 

 

The sun is lower in the sky when Cas wakes again, and his limbs ache badly. Meg is curled up next to him in the fetal position, and she’s sucking on her thumb in her sleep. Charlie is there, leaning over him.

  
“Hey.” She says. “I’m about to close up. Why don’t you wake your friend while I get the lights.”

  
She stands and walks toward the back of the store. Cas reaches over to jostle Meg.

  
“Meg.” He says groggily. “Wake up, we’re gonna go.”

  
“Huh?” Says Meg, squinting up at him. “Where are we?”

  
She’s disoriented. Cas pats her on the arm. “We’re in the store, remember? Charlie is gonna help us find my alpha.”

  
“Oh yeah.” Meg sits up and rubs the sleep from her eyes with a small fist. “Forgot about that.” She yawns. “I like it here. ‘s quiet.”

  
“You’ll like my alpha’s house.” Cas tells her. “It’s quiet there too, and there’s a big television and I have my own room.” 

  
Meg chews on her bottom lip for a while. “I won’t be able to stay.” She says. 

  
“Huh?”

  
“They’ll send me back.” She says quietly. “They’ll send me back and he’ll be _so angry_.” Her eyes go wide and fearful with the sudden realization. Her hands come up to cover her mouth. “Oh no, I never should have left! He’ll be so angry!”

  
Cas reaches out and puts a hand on her shoulder. “He won’t send you back! My alpha would never do that!”

  
Meg shuts her eyes tight. “I can’t go back.” She whispers. 

  
“You won’t have to.” Cas assures her. 

  
When she opens her eyes they’re watery and sad. “Promise?”

  
Cas hesitates. Should he promise? What if Dean _doesn’t_ want her there? What if he says no? Cas purses his lips, he’ll just have to convince Dean! He’s never been the sort to even _think_ about arguing with his alpha but… Meg is his friend. Yes, she’s his friend. She helped him, and now he wants to help her. He can’t let her go back home and be hurt, he just can’t.

  
“I promise.” He tells her, and he means it. 

  
The lights all shut off moments later, and then Charlie is back. “Ready?” She asks.

  
Cas and Meg say yes. They follow Charlie out the back of the store to her little car and they both get in the back seat. Once they buckle up, Charlie backs out of the parking lot and starts up the street.

  
“Where are we going?” Meg wonders.

  
“Kevin’s.” Charlie explains. “I figure he can get you guys fixed up before we find your guy.”

  
Cas perks up, remembering the tea that made his stomach feel better. Maybe Kevin will let him have some more of it.   
Meg looks skeptical, but Cas smiles at her to try and put her at ease. She rolls her eyes but doesn’t says anything. 

  
They roll up to Kevin’s apartment building soon enough and he quickly buzzes them up. The stairs still smell like urine, but it’s not really that bad. Meg looks worried though, she keeps close to Cas, even going so far as to cling to the back of his shirt. 

  
Cas feels more at ease the moment they come into Kevin’s apartment, there’s just something about the place that radiates peace. It smells faintly of honey, and Cas can’t help taking a deep breath of it. 

  
Kevin looks confused to see them. He kneels down in front of Cas.  
“Didn’t expect to see you again, buddy. Where’s the big grump?”

  
Cas takes a deep breath and tells Kevin everything that has happened. The man listens attentively and, as soon as Cas is done talking, he asks the two children to come into the kitchen with him. He has them both sit up on the table as he looks them over. 

  
“I’m sure we can find Dean in the phone book.” Kevin assures them, pulling the borrowed shoes gently off of Cas’ feet. “You were smart to go to Charlie, you can trust her.” He smiles at Charlie, who is leaning against the kitchen wall watching the proceedings. She smiles back. Kevin frowns at the sight of Cas’ feet and asks Charlie to get something for him from his medicine cabinet. She goes, and Kevin wets a wash rag and begins to gently clean Cas’ feet, caked in blood and dirt and covered in cuts. 

  
“You, though,” He addresses Meg. “That’s a little trickier. What are you, beta?”   
Meg casts her eyes down and nods. 

  
“Hmm, thought so.” Kevin “If you don’t go home your father will probably report you missing.”

  
Meg’s eyes widen. She shakes her head and looks at Cas pleadingly. 

  
Cas reaches over and takes hold of Meg’s hand to squeeze it reassuringly. “Meg is coming home with me.” He tells Kevin. 

  
Kevin’s eyebrows go up. He looks skeptical, but he just says, “Okay.”

  
Charlie comes back with a clear plastic bottle and Kevin pours some of the liquid in it onto a new, clean rag and dabs it all over Cas’ feet.  Immediately, they feel a little better. They sting less, anyway. Kevin dabs the stuff on every cut he can find on Cas, then he gets some cream to rub on his chafed thighs and some gel to put on all the bug bites. 

  
Meg is mostly fine. She’s got bruises, but there’s not really anything Kevin can do to help with those at this point, to his apparent dismay. 

  
“Alright.” Kevin says when he’s done. “Why don’t you two go watch tv with Charlie and I’ll try and find your alpha in the phone book.”

  
“May I… may I have some of that tea? For my stomach?” Cas asks politely. 

  
“Of course!” Kevin replies. He goes to make the tea, continuing to talk to Cas all the while. “How is your stomach feeling?”

  
Cas presses on his lower belly. “A little better.” He says. “Still hurts sometimes though.”

  
“Have you cut back on the meat and dairy?” Kevin asks.

  
Cas frowns. “No.” he admits. 

  
“Well, that’s probably why it’s still bothering you.” 

  
Cas sighs, and Kevin brings him a hot mug of the tea. The boy takes it happily and beams up at Kevin, he’s such a nice man. He confuses Cas a bit, because of all the things he is and isn’t. He’s an omega, but he doesn’t have an alpha. He doesn’t have a collar, he does have an education. He’s not like any omega Cas has ever met. He’s in control of things. 

  
Cas goes with Meg to the living room and sits himself on the couch between her and Charlie. He can’t help scooting close to Charlie, he feels very safe near her. It’s odd. He looks at her closely, but he can’t quite figure it out. 

  
When she notices him looking at her, she smiles. “What’s up?” She asks him.  
He blinks, wondering if it’s okay to ask the question that’s on his mind. Normally, he’d say no, but her smile is kind and he thinks she won’t be mad.

  
“You’re not alpha, are you?”

  
She looks at him for a moment, then she sighs. “Nope.” She tells him. “Omega, all the way.” She gives him a little smile, but it doesn’t necessarily seem happy. 

  
“Do you have an alpha?” Cas wonders. 

  
“No, bud.” Charlie says. “I don’t need one.”

  
Cas purses his lips. That doesn’t make sense. “I don’t understand.” He says.  
On Cas’ other side, Meg listens raptly. 

  
Charlie shrugs. “Got my own apartment, got a decent job, don’t have to any answer to any dumb-ass alpha with a god complex, thanks to scent-neutralizing body spray. It’s a good life.” 

  
Cas frowns up at her. He’s not sure about this. That’s not… how omegas are supposed to live, is it? When he looks over at Meg, she seems to share in his confusion. 

  
“But you’re an omega.” She speaks up. “What do you need a job and an apartment for?”

  
Charlie fixes her gaze on Meg. “I’m a _person_ , kid.” She says. “So’s Kevin, so’s this guy.” She taps Cas on the nose. “Just like you. Just like any alpha. There’s no difference.”

  
Meg looks taken aback. She looks at Charlie, then at Cas, then down at her own hands. She huffs and leans back on the couch, but her gaze keeps flicking between them. 

  
Cas shakes his head. “I could never live on my own.” He says. “I- I just couldn’t. I need my alpha. He takes care of me.”

  
“You just spent two days on your own in the woods.” Charlie reminds him. “And you did just fine.”

  
“Oh no!” Cas tells her. “It was terrible!”

  
Charlie laughs and reaches out to ruffle his hair. “Well, I think you’d do fine on your own, in any case.”

  
Cas is about to argue when the apartment door opens, and a woman steps in. She’s tall and thin, with a nose like a beak and a mouth set in a thin, unhappy line. Cas can see the numbers stamped onto her wrist, and her collar that’s an uncomfortable looking piece of metal. In her arms she’s holding a small girl, smaller than Cas even. The girl has a collar too, the skin under it looks raw and sore, and she has bruises all up her arms. Her hair is a vibrant red, like Charlie’s, and there’s something that seems a little familiar about her. Kevin greets the newcomers, and when the girl turns her head he sees a big purpling bruise on one side of her face. Then, she sees Cas, and they’re locking eyes. His blue and her brown. 

  
And she looks a bit like…

  
No, she looks _just_ like…

  
But it couldn’t be…

 

-o-

 

When Dean’s cell begins to ring and Jess’ name pops up on the screen, he isn’t sure what to expect. He tries not to hope, but he can’t help it because he’s just so tired and he wants Cas back. So, when he answers and Jess tells him that someone called the home phone and told her that they’d found Cas, Dean tries _really_ hard to look like he doesn’t want to cry with relief.

Kevin has Cas. What are the odds, right? As he and Sam ascend the stairs inside Kevin’s building he worries that Kevin is filling Cas’ head with ideas, like leaving. God, Dean hopes not. Cas could get hurt on his own. He’s probably already hurt, he’s been on his own for days! Dean quickens his steps. When he reaches Kevin’s door he barely knocks, he just rushes in. He balks when he sees the number of people inside though, stopping so suddenly that Sam runs into his back with a pained, “Oof!”

  
Kevin and Charlie are both here, as well as a tall woman with a little red headed girl. Cas is sitting there on the couch next to a little dark haired girl, and when he sees Dean he leaps from the couch and comes running. 

  
“Alpha!” He squeals, launching himself into Dean’s arms as the man kneels down to receive him. Dean holds the boy tight to his chest and tries to control the surge of emotions that well suddenly in throat, because there are people here, dammit! From the way the boy is clinging to him, it doesn’t seem like Cas is harboring any resentment toward Dean regarding the event that led to his running away in the first place, and Dean is thankful for it. He runs his hand over the boy’s wild hair. 

  
“Hey there, buddy.” He murmurs. “’s good to see you.”

  
Cas sniffles into Dean’s shoulder. “Missed you, Alpha.” He whispers.

  
Dean stands, shifting Cas onto his hip and continuing to hold him close. “I missed you too, bud.” He says. “We were so worried. So worried.” And it looks like he was right to be. The kid is dirty, and his clothes are torn. He’s got scratches and bug bites all over him and his feet are covered in bandages. 

  
“I got lost.” Cas tells him, lower lip beginning to quiver. “But then I found Meg,” He points to the sullen little brunette on the couch. “And she helped me!” Cas’ expression becomes determined. “She has to come home with us!” He says.

  
“Wait what?” Dean wonders. Behind him, Sam looks bewildered by all the goings on. 

  
“Her father is mean.” Cas whispers. “He hurts her.”

  
Dean clears his throat. “Well, that seems like more of a matter for the police, doesn’t it?” 

  
“No!” Cas yelps, and Dean almost jumps in surprise. This is new. “She has to come! She’s my friend.” He looks pleadingly up at Dean. “Please?” He says softly. 

  
Wow, today is… weird. He’s finally got his omega back and the boy is talking back to him and asking him to bring home a perfect stranger. He can’t find it in him to be angry though, it’s a little endearing. He’s acting like an actual child.   
Dean sighs. “Okay, we’ll figure something out.”

  
Cas smiles and squeezes Dean tighter. “Thank you, Alpha.” He says. 

  
Dean kisses him on the forehead. 

  
Then Cas is lighting up and squirming to be let down, and Dean reluctantly lets him go. As soon as he’s on the ground Cas is grabbing Dean’s hand and pulling him toward the knot of people in the living room that Dean has been trying to ignore. He’s pretty sure they’re all omegas and he doesn’t really want any part of whatever is going on here. But Cas isn’t having any of that, he’s just pulling Dean, telling him to, “Come on! Come meet her!”

  
At first Dean thinks he means Meg, but the boy isn’t pulling him toward the couch, but closer to the kitchen where the tall woman and the little redhead are sitting.

  
“Who?” He asks.

  
Cas looks up at him, “My little sister!” He says.

  
Dean looks back at the woman and the girl. They look like they’ve been through hell, and Dean is pretty sure somebody beat the little girl, which makes his stomach twist painfully, and it’s harder for him to think that it’s none of his business when she’s looking at him with those sad brown eyes.   
He sighs, wondering when, exactly, his life got so complicated.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi friends!  
> So this isn't a super long chapter, and honestly it didn't really come out how I wanted it to. I had a bit of trouble with it and I'm not sure why. I had a bit of a rough week (I know, it's a tired excuse, but maybe it'll get better soon), so I didn't write as much as I wanted to.  
> Anyway, the first sort of arc of the story is nearing its end and I wanted to let you all know that too (it's not over yet, but getting close).  
> Also I didn't proofread this well, so let me know if you spot any mistakes.
> 
> **A NOTE ABOUT NOSES**  
>  Smells in this 'verse  
> \- Alpha's noses are not that sensitive. They can smell some things, but not much more than the average human. They probably don't know whether someone is Alpha/Beta/Omega just by their smell. They might be able to pick up bits (like when Dean thought Kevin's apartment smelled slightly sweeter than normal, and it turns out he was an omega), but not a lot.  
> _ Omega noses pick up a lot. Omegas can smell genders and a lot of moods (anger, sadness, fear, etc.). They probably evolved the skill as a defense mechanism.

Cas’ sister’s name is Anna, she’s five years old, she doesn’t speak. The woman holding her is not her mother, but an omega from somewhere out of state. They’ve been on the run for about a week, hiding in barns and woods, trying to get here. The woman won’t say where they’re from. 

  
The two of them are in the kitchen with Kevin getting checked out, and Cas keeps jumping up from the couch to run in check on them. The little girl doesn’t seem to remember Cas too well, but she lets him come close and when she smells him her eyes light up. Cas seems to think this is a good sign. 

  
Dean is feeling uncomfortable and out of place, there are so many omegas here and it’s a little weird. He doesn’t like it here, the scent of omega hangs too sweet in the air and it’s overpowering. He’s sitting on the couch with Cas on his lap, clinging to his neck, Sam is sitting next to him looking around politely, Meg is in the corner of the room playing with legos, and Charlie is in the other chair, casting wary glances at them from time to time. 

  
He’s aware that last time he was here he made a bit of a scene, and there’s a part of him that’s a little embarrassed, but he maintains that he was not the one in the wrong. He had come into this place expecting good, respectable people and Kevin had turned out to be an omega and, really, it had felt like a betrayal. Dean shifts Cas closer to him on his lap, and the boy hums happily.  

  
After a while Sam turns to Charlie. The two of them have been pseudo-introduced via Kevin, but haven’t spoken yet. “So, what is it you do?” He wonders.

  
“I work at a little grocery store on eastside.” She tells him.

  
Sam thinks for a minute. “Is it Lauri’s?”

  
“It is!” Charlie says. 

  
“I love that place!” Sam tells her. “They always have the best asparagus.”

  
Charlie leans forward like she’s imparting a secret. “The owner’s brother has a farm. He grows a _shit ton_ of asparagus and gives it to us for super cheap.”

  
Cas tugs on Dean’s sleeve, and when Dean looks down the boy says, “Charlie is omega, like me!” 

  
Dean sees her wince, but Sam just keeps going like everything’s fine. “How long have you worked there?” He asks, and they’re talking again. Charlie looks relieved.

  
Dean, for his part, feels doubly betrayed. She’s an omega too? He’d thought she smelled a little off, but he’d assumed beta. Once again, he feels like he’s been lied to. And now is brother is just conversing with her like she’s a regular person. He frowns, but when he looks down, Cas is gazing at her adoringly.

  
“Hey,” Dean says to him, quietly so the others don’t hear. “You know that’s not how omegas are supposed to be, right? They’re _supposed_ to have alphas.”

  
Cas turns his head to meet Dean’s eyes and he looks… a little confused. “I know, Alpha.” He says. “But…”

  
“But what?”

  
Cas’ expression closes off suddenly. He shakes his head and looks down. “Nothing, Alpha.” He says.

  
Dean sighs. He’d thought that once he found Cas everything would be fine, but other things cropped up and now he feels almost as anxious and frustrated as he did before. He taps his fingers rhythmically  on his  knee, trying to calm himself down, but nothing is working. 

  
“Well,” He says after a while. “We should probably get going.”

  
“No, Alpha!” Cas squeals, gripping the front of Dean’s shirt. “We can’t leave Anna!”

  
While it was cute before, Cas’ new attitude is quickly getting on his nerves. “Cas, buddy. I can’t just take a bunch of people into my house, especially not when they’re on the run. That’s illegal. You know that, right?”

  
Cas’ eyes go wide, and tears quickly begin to fill them. His bottom lip quivers. It’s like he didn’t even _consider_ that Dean wouldn’t want to bring home a bunch of strays. “But… my sister.” 

  
“Cas, I said no.” Dean tells him firmly, eager to get this under control quickly. He’s aware that everyone else in the room is watching them now, and it’s making him uneasy. 

  
At his words, Cas’ tears spill over, and he’s crying. It’s surprising, as he isn’t usually a terribly emotional child. Then he’s scrambling off of Dean’s lap and running to… Charlie, climbing up into her lap. And boy does that sting. 

  
“Cas,” Dean growls. “Come back over here.” 

  
Cas just hiccups and turns his face into Charlie’s shoulder, she looks very surprised. Dean grits his teeth and Charlie, seemingly realizing that things are getting a little shaky here, says, “Dean, maybe you and I should talk in the hall for a minute.”

  
Dean almost says no, as much as he resents being told what to do by an omega, but he really is tired. “Fine.” He says. 

  
Charlie gives a sniffling Cas to Sam, who cuddles the boy gently to his massive chest, and Dean rises to follow her out of the apartment into the hall. As soon as the door is shut behind them, Charlie sighs. Dean crosses his arms over his chest and just looks at her. She doesn’t say anything for a while, and then when she does her words are clipped and annoyed. 

  
“You realize we’re _people_ , don’t you?”

  
Dean rolls his eyes. “I am aware that you’re human, yes.”

  
Charlie scoffs. “Then why do you treat us this way?”

  
“Look,” Dean tells her. “I don’t have anything against omegas, okay? But there are certain things that are the way they are for a reason.”

  
“Do tell.”

  
“You shouldn’t be living on your own. _Omegas_ need an alpha.”

  
“Do I _look_ like I need an alpha?” Charlie asks, stepping back and opening her arms wide for inspection. “I’m doing great!”

  
Dean shakes his head, unconvinced. “It’s not right!” He says.

  
“Why? Why is it not right?” 

  
“Omegas are weaker! They _need_ someone to look after them.” Dean tells her.

  
“Obviously we don’t!” Charlie bites back. “And just because we’re smaller doesn’t mean we’re weak, okay? Strength doesn’t just have to do with size.”

  
“Omegas aren’t as smart.” He tries. “Your kind just doesn’t have the- the know-how to survive without an alpha.”

  
“As opposed to _who_?!” Charlie asks, eyes thunderous. “Kevin is one of the smartest people I’ve ever met, period.” She jabs her finger at the apartment door. “And, you know what, I’m no idiot either! Omegas from training centers seem simple because they’re not given a chance to learn! They’re not _taught_ life skills, they’re not given a chance! How can you say these things about an entire gender without even giving them a shot?” She shakes her head. “What about Cas?” She asks. “You seem like you care about him, you do. So, do you think he’s stupid?”

  
Dean wants to snap at Charlie, of _course_ he doesn’t think Cas is stupid. The boy is a very quick learner, he’s eager and enthusiastic and sweet and… and…   
Dean shakes his head. “Cas is different.” He tells her.

  
“Oh?” Says Charlie. “How many omegas have you met, then?”

  
Dean swallows, feeling like he’s being backed up against the edge of a cliff. “Well, I…”

  
“Yes?” Charlie prompts.

  
“Well, that’s not the point!” 

  
“Isn’t it?” She says. “You would assign negative characteristics to an entire group of people having met, what, a handful? Five or six? How many?”

  
Dean looks away. “Three.” He admits. He’s only really met Cas, Kevin and Charlie. 

  
Charlie nods. “So why is it that you think all this stuff about omegas? Apparently you didn’t form all these opinions on your own.”

  
Dean rubs the back of his neck, trying in vain to ease some of the tension that sits there. “Everyone knows it!” He tells Charlie. “What, you think the entire rest of the world is just wrong about omegas?”

  
Charlie goes silent for a long moment, her eyes, when they bore into his, are very serious. “I think the entire rest of the world wants to have a clear conscience while they subjugate omegas. If omegas are stupid then what’s the harm in using them as slaves, right? Or, you know, if omegas are weak and “need an alpha” then no one feels bad about owning them, even though they’re people.”

  
It… it doesn’t make sense, of course not! Things are the way they are for a reason! A very good reason, Dean is sure. 

  
“You’re-” Dean starts.

  
“Don’t tell me I’m paranoid.” Charlie interrupts him. And it makes his skin itch because yes, that had been what he was going to say. “I grew up in a training center. I was sold, and I was a slave. That’s what it is, Dean. You realize that, don’t you? It’s slavery, plain and simple.”  

  
“I…”

  
“It was _hell_.” Charlie continues. “The center was hell, my owners were hell. You don’t have any idea what goes on in most places, Dean. You are… a surprisingly good guy, from what Cas has told me, but you’re an exception. Most people aren’t like you. If Cas had ended up with someone else he might be beaten on a daily basis, he might be raped, he might be tortured, all within the bounds of the law. Think about that.”

  
Dean doesn’t want to think about that. It makes the anxiety in his stomach spin angrily, he feels nauseous, he feels a little faint. He can’t think about other people hurting Cas, he just can’t. He shakes his head, and Charlie reaches out to put her hand on his shoulder, to steady him. She looks him in the eye and he feels a great emotion well up in him, and he doesn’t want it. He doesn’t want this. He doesn’t want this information, how it makes him feel. Because even as he’s denying it he feels the heavy weight of truth that Charlie’s words hold, and it feels like they’re crushing him. 

  
He closes his eyes, and they stand there for a long time while Dean tries not to think about what Charlie has said. He fails. 

  
“Fuck.” He whispers finally. “Fuck.”

  
Charlie pats his shoulder. “You’ll be okay, champ.” She says, not unkindly. 

  
“I don’t…” He tries, but he can’t think of what else. “What do I do?” He wonders.

  
“Why don’t you start off simple.” Charlie tells him. “Why don’t you stop being an asshole to me and Kevin. Omegas aren’t the enemy. We’re just trying to get by.”

  
God, Dean feels so _stupid_. How did this happen? Why does this make so much sense? How has he never seen it before? 

  
“I’m sorry.” He says earnestly, realizing with a jolt that this is the first time he’s ever apologized to an omega. “I didn’t…”

  
“I know.” She tells him. 

 

-o-

 

Cas is feeling worried, jittery and anxious sitting here on Sam’s lap. The big man is warm and comfortable, but that does little to stem the flow of anxious thoughts that speed through his head. What is alpha talking about with Charlie? Is he angry? Probably. Cas has been talking back to him all day and he knew he shouldn’t, but can’t just leave Meg and Anna!

  
Oh no, he shouldn’t have talked back. He shouldn’t have questioned his alpha. The man came all the way here to pick him up and now he’s probably deciding that he doesn’t want Cas anymore. All of a sudden, the omega feels like he’s going to throw up. 

  
“It’s going to be okay, Cas.” Comes Sam’s voice from above him. He pats Cas gently on the head. 

  
Meg is watching them, and she comes over slowly to sit warily next to Sam and take Cas’ trembling hand. 

  
Sam smiled kindly down at them, and Cas feels a little better. Just a little. 

 

 

Dean and Charlie come back into the apartment a few minutes later and Dean doesn’t seem angry, he seems… weary. His head is hung and his shoulders and slumped and when he comes over to them he just picks Cas up and holds him close to his body without saying a word. He sits down next to Sam and tucks Cas into his chest, rubbing the boy’s back soothingly. When Cas looks up at him, confused, Dean just sighs and smiles sadly. 

  
“Hey, bud.” He says, hand soft in the middle of Cas’ back.

  
Cas swallows. “Alpha, is everything alright?” He wonders uneasily. 

  
“Yeah, everything’s… everything’s fine.” He brushes a tuft of hair out of Cas’ face. “You’re a really good boy, you know that?” 

  
Cas leans back a little, more worried than before. “Alpha?” 

  
Dean reaches up to rub his eyes, and Sam puts his hand on his brother’s shoulder. 

  
“Everything alright, Dean?” 

  
Dean’s eyes find Charlie, who has gone to sit in the other chair again. She gives him a smile. 

  
“Yeah, Sam.” Dean says finally. “Everything’s good.”

  
Sam doesn’t seem convinced, but he drops the subject and leans back, stretching his arms above his head and yawning wide.

  
“Can we go home soon? I’m beat.” He asks his brother.

  
“Yeah, just… let me just… talk to Kevin for a minute.” He gets up slowly, passing Cas back to Sam. He straightens his shirt, squares his shoulders, and disappears into the kitchen.

  
Cas can hear the low hum of voices, but he can’t hear what’s being said. He turns his head and sighs into Sam’s button-down, too weary to care whether or not it’s the proper thing to do. After a while, Sam strikes up another conversation with Charlie, and Cas is lulled into a comfortable, almost sleep-like state by the rumbling of Sam’s voice. 

 

 

Cas can’t say for sure how long it is until Dean comes back, maybe ten minutes, maybe an hour. Sam is still talking to Charlie, rumbling on. Meg is still sitting to one side of Sam, watching the television raptly. Dean sits down heavily on the unoccupied side of Sam. He sighs and rubs his forehead.

  
“Doing okay?” Sam asks him. 

  
“Yep. Doin’ great.” He tells Sam. “Just about ready to leave.” He leans forward to look around Sam. “Would you… like to come with us?” He asks Meg. 

  
She perks up, looking at Cas, Charlie, and back to Dean. “Um… yes.” She says. 

  
“Alright. Well. Okay.” He sighs again, pressing his palms against his knees as he rises. 

  
Kevin comes into the living room then, carrying Anna, who has her face tucked into his shirt. Her collar is gone now, exposing raw red skin in a ring around her throat. It looks shiny and slick, and Cas thinks maybe Kevin put medicine on it. Dean holds his hands out, but Anna refuses to go to him, she clings to Kevin and whimpers softly. 

  
Cas hops quickly down from the couch and goes to Kevin, holding out his arms for Anna. She goes to him, and he holds her tightly to himself, even though she’s really very heavy. 

  
“Is Anna coming too?” He asks Dean, who reaches down to pat him on the head.

  
“Yeah, bud. Anna can come too.” He says. 

  
Cas’ whole body floods with relief. Everything will be alright, Anna and Meg will come home and everyone will be alright. He looks around for the other woman, wondering if she’s coming as well, but he doesn’t see her anywhere.

  
“Thank you, Alpha!” He says. 

  
Dean smiles down at him, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. Kevin and Dean exchange phone numbers and Kevin says he’ll come out and check on them. Cas thinks this is a good thing, Dean and Kevin seem to be getting a long better now. Things are so much easier when everyone gets along. Kevin also gives Dean a plastic grocery-store bag full of smaller, sealed bags. When Cas peeks in, he sees lots of different kinds of herbs in there, including the ones that make his stomach feel better. 

  
“Alright, gang.” Dean says finally, “Everybody ready to go?”

  
Sam, Meg, and Cas, carrying Anna, follow Dean out of Kevin’s apartment and down the stairs. They all fit in the car pretty easily, all of the children sit in the back seat and Anna refuses to let go of Cas, so she sits in his lap. He strokes her hair gently, trying to sooth her.

  
“’s’okay, little sister.” He whispers to her. “I’m here now. I’m gonna keep you safe.” She burrows closer to him, hiding her face in his shirt. He wants to tell her not to, because it’s dirty, but he can’t bring himself to do it. 

  
“Dean,” He hears Sam say from the front seat. “Are you sure you know what you’re doing? I didn’t want to say anything back there but… can you afford to take care of three kids?”

  
Dean exhales and brushes his hand over the top of his hair before pulling the car onto the road. “I don’t know, Sam.” He says. “But Kevin can’t keep them. He told me the cops around here look for things to charge him with, and runaways are definitely something.”

  
“What about that woman?” Sam asks.

  
“I guess she’s not staying, just passing through. Didn’t want, uh,” His eyes flick to the backseat. “any extra weight.”

  
Sam looks back at the little red-haired girl clinging to Castiel. “Where’d she come from?” He wonders.

  
Dean shrugs. “Nobody’s saying.”

  
Everything is quiet for a time before Sam speaks again, warily this time. “So, why the sudden change of heart?” He asks.

  
Dean shifts in his seat. “I, uh, had a talk with Charlie.” He says, and leaves it at that. Sam nods, as if it makes sense.

  
“And how do you feel now?” He wonders.

  
“About what?”

  
“You know, omegas. That whole situation.” Sam clarifies.

  
“I don’t know, Sam.” Dean answers, sounding tired. “It’s kind of a lot to take it. I thought things were one way and then suddenly they aren’t and I… I just don’t know how I feel about anything anymore.”

  
Sam nods thoughtfully, and the subject is dropped. 

 

 

When they get to the end of the long drive and pull up to Dean’s house, Meg’s eyes are wide with awe.

  
“Wow.” She whispers.

  
“Look, Anna!” Cas exclaims. 

  
Anna peeks quickly out at the house, but then immediately buries her face back in his shirt. Cas is much too excited about having her here to be bothered though, and he holds her carefully as he climbs out of the car.

  
“Here’s the porch.” He tells his sister as he climbs the front steps. “And here’s the kitchen.” Once they’re inside the house he shows her every room, at least the ones that are unlocked, and Meg tags along too. 

 

-o-

 

Jess is beside herself with excitement and relief. She gives Cas a big hug and coos over Meg and Anna. She demands to know everything that has happened, everything that’s going on, and Dean is really just very tired, but he fills her in anyway. 

  
“Oh those _poor thing_ s!” Jess exclaims, once Dean has told her everything. “If you need anything, anything at all, don’t hesitate to call us.” She tells him firmly. Then her eyes go wide, she looks like she’s remembering something. 

  
“Dean, I read this absolutely awful book about omega training.” She goes to one of the cabinets in the kitchen, oddly enough, and takes a book from the highest shelf. “It’s disgusting.” She says, handing it to him. “You should read it.”

  
Dean balks. “Why would I read it if it’s disgusting?” He wonders.

  
“So you’ll know what’s going on!” Jess tells him. “I- I had no idea! I never- I mean, I…” She trails off, pressing a palm to her forehead. “I don’t understand why they think it’s okay.” 

  
“I’ll read it.” Dean assures her. 

 

 

Sam and Jess go home soon afterward, and Dean thanks them profusely for all of their help. 

  
All three of the kids take a bath, although they have to all squeeze in there together because Anna refuses to let Cas out of her sight and Meg refuses to be left out. There’s a lot of noise and splashing and afterward there’s more water outside of the tub than in it, but everybody gets clean and Meg and Cas seem happier for it. Dean finds everybody sleep shirts, although Anna’s trails the ground like a train, and he folds out the couch bed. It’s not a permanent solution, but it’s all he’s got right now. 

  
All three of them pile onto it, although Cas has his own bed, and soon the girls are asleep. Cas though, is still awake, sandwiched between them, when Dean comes to check on them.

  
“Hey, bud.” Dean whispers from the side of the couch-bed.

  
“Hello, Alpha.” Cas replies.

  
Dean holds out his arms toward the boy. “Why don’t you come here? I want to talk to you.”

  
Cas sits up carefully, unwinding his sister’s arms from his waist, and crawls into Dean’s arms. Dean stands, shifting the boy to his hip, and goes out into the hall.

  
“Cas,” He says. “I’m sorry I yelled at you the other day. I didn’t mean to scare you. I was… I was very sad, and I didn’t want you to see me.”

  
Cas’ eyes are big. “Why were you sad, Alpha?” He wonders. 

  
Dean quiets, he isn’t sure how to explain all this, if he even should. But in the end he decides that, yes, he should. He carries the boy down the downstairs hall to the first locked door. The key, which hangs around his neck on a bit of twine, comes out and he unlocks the door.

  
“This was my dad’s office.” He tells the boy. “Sometimes I come here when I’m feeling bad. All this stuff is his stuff.” He backs out of the room and continues down the hall to the second locked room. When he opens this door, he’s hit with a wall of bright colors and dust. He barely ever comes into this room. “This was my mom’s art room.” He tells the boy.

  
Easels are set up all over the room. Paintings in various stages of completion lean against them, covered in thick layers of neglect. One wall is covered in shelves weighed down by paints, brushes, canvases. 

  
“I don’t come in here.” He says.

  
Cas looks at him for a while, figuring things out.

  
“What happened to them?” He asks finally.

  
Dean looks down at Cas, at his wide, trusting eyes. “Well, they died.” He says plainly. “One day me and my mom and dad went out to eat and on the way home we got hit by another car.” 

  
Cas’ eyes get even bigger, his mouth opens and he whines, distressed. “Oh no!” He says. He leans forward to wrap his arms around Dean’s neck.   
“I’m sorry, Alpha.” He whispers into the man’s skin. 

  
“It happened a while ago, buddy.” Dean tells him, but telling the story, short though it may be, makes him feel just a little lighter. “Sometimes I do get sad though. That’s why I have these doors locked, so I don’t have to think about it all the time.”

  
Cas nods. “Okay.” He says.

  
“I just wanted you to know.” Dean says. “And I’m so sorry I scared you, buddy.”  
“It’s okay, Alpha.” Cas assures him, patting him on the chest with a small hand.

  
Dean sighs. “Hey, bud.” He says. “Maybe you should start calling me ‘Dean’ instead.”

  
Cas leans back to look at his alpha in the face. “I don’t understand.”

  
“I just… I think it might be better.”

  
Cas blinks up at him. He says nothing.

  
“Just… why don’t you try out some, how about that? Just see how you like it.”

  
Cas frowns. “I…” He huffs. “Yes, Alpha.”

  
Dean raises his eyebrows.

  
“Er- Dean?” Cas practically whispers. 

  
“That’s right.” Dean tells him.

  
Cas just continues to frown like he’s eaten something sour. Then, suddenly, his eyes go frightened. “You- you still want me, right?” He asks frantically.

  
“Yeah, hey, of course I do.” Dean tells the boy, rocking him gently on his hip. “I just thought maybe we could on… more even ground.”

  
Cas doesn’t seem like he understands, but he doesn’t argue, he just sets his head sleepily on Dean’s shoulder. It’s more physical than the boy usually is, and Dean pats his back softly. After a while he takes him back to the living room and lays him back down in the fold out bed. Anna’s arms immediately curl around him again and Cas strokes her hair lovingly. It’s very sweet, and Dean thinks that Cas is a good big brother.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter marks the end of the first part of the story, the second part will take place a few years later. I'll go more into that when I post the next chapter.

Anna has nightmares, bad ones. She doesn’t cry out, but she shakes so badly that the first time it happens Dean thinks she’s having a seizure at first. She refuses to be away from Cas, she likes to be in physical contact with him whenever possible, holding his hand or the edge of his shirt, and he must be in her line of sight at all time or she starts to sob and shake, so quietly, and it scares the shit out of Dean. He’s a little annoyed at first, to be honest, he’s gotten so used to having Cas dote over him that it almost feels like he’s being abandoned. But he sucks it up and reminds himself that this is Cas’ little sister, and he has no idea what she’s been through. She has a bad scar on her neck from where that awful metal collar had cut into her skin, the number stamped on her wrist, and she has a lattice of long, thin, crisscrossing scars down her back and legs. Her skin is sickly pale and her hair is brittle and thin. She flinches at loud noises, hides from unfamiliar people, and, while she doesn’t run from Dean, she does start to shake if he gets too close. 

  
It’s a little hard to deal with sometimes, but when Dean feels himself getting frustrated he closes his eyes an imagines she’s Sam. If Sam had those scars, those fears, Dean would do everything in his power to make sure his brother was okay, and that’s exactly what Cas is doing. He’s so gentle with her, so patient. When she starts to shake he holds her close and talks to her quietly until she’s okay again. He doesn’t get annoyed when she sits outside of the shower while he’s in it, or when she follows him everywhere. He’s a good boy, a good brother.

  
Meg… Meg is another story. Taking Meg in makes Dean nervous, because supposedly her father lives in the surrounding area and he’ll probably be looking for her. And, aside from that, he’s not sure he feels right taking her word about her father. But he doesn’t do anything about it just yet, because she too is stuck to Cas like glue.

  
The three of them sleep on the pull out for a few days until Dean relents and gets them a bunk bed to replace Cas’ little twin in his room. They’re ecstatic, Meg calls the top bunk and Cas and Anna snuggle together in the bottom. 

 

 

When Dean wakes up, the smells of breakfast are wafting into his room. This is something he enjoys, and he’s not really sure how he got by without it before. It keeps his feet from dragging as he pulls himself out of bed and gets dressed.   
When he comes into the kitchen, Cas is there, standing on a chair in front of the stove, cooking bacon and eggs. Anna is standing on the floor beside him, hand wrapped around his ankle, staring at nothing. Meg is at the kitchen table with a book from one of the living room shelves, leaning over it, biting her thumbnail. Dean leans over and sees that she’s reading The Wonderful Wizard of Oz.

  
“That’s a good one.” He tells her. “Was one of my favorites when I was a kid.”

  
She looks up, startled, eyes wide. “I’ll put it back when I’m done.” She assures him. “And I won’t bend the pages!”

  
“No big deal.” Dean says. “Most of ‘em are already bent.” He walks over to the stove and Anna shies away from him, but Cas looks up and smiles. 

  
“Good morning, Alpha!” He greets.

  
“Dean.” Dean corrects him.

  
Cas frowns. “Oh, yes, Dean. Good morning… Dean.” He doesn’t like it, it’s obvious, his mouth twists up like he’s eating something sour. But Dean is really trying with this whole equality thing and he feels like this is important.

  
He smiles down. “Good morning, Cas.” He reaches out and ruffles the boy’s hair. 

  
“Here,” Cas says, scooping eggs and bacon onto a waiting plate with his spatula. “I made breakfast.”

  
“Thanks, buddy!” Dean takes the plate and goes to sit at the table across from Meg. A few moments later Cas comes over and sets a plate in front of Meg, before making one for Anna and himself.

  
They all sit quietly at the table, the scrape of forks across plates the only sound. Anna sits on Cas’ lap and they eat off of the same plate, she darts in quickly, like she expects someone to take it away. 

  
When he’s done, Dean stands and stretches. “Well,” he says, “I’d better get going. I’ll see you kids after work. Stay out of trouble.” 

  
He’s met with mostly silence, but for Cas, who says, “Have a good day at work, Al- um, Dean!”

  
Dean gives him a little wave before retrieving his keys from the hall table and leaving the house. Once he’s in his car, started down the lane, he calls his brother.

  
“ _Hello_?” He hears after a moment.

  
“Hey, Sam.” Dean says. “How’s everything?”

  
“ _Going pretty good_.” Sam tells him. “ _Nothing much to report. Just ate oatmeal, had apples in it. That’s about all the news I’ve got. You_?”

  
“Yeah, everything’s going pretty good here too, I think. Got the kids a bunk bed.”

  
“ _Anna still following Cas everywhere_?” Sam asks.

  
Dean sighs. “Yeah. It might end up being a problem when she gets older.”

  
“ _She’ll probably grow out of it. I think she just needs to know that he’s not going to just disappear_.”

  
“Alright, thanks Doctor Phil.” Dean says sarcastically.

  
He hears his brother huff in annoyance. “ _Dean-_ ” He starts.

  
“Relax, bitch, I’m kidding.” Dean interrupts. “You’re probably right.”

  
“ _Whatever, jerk_.” Sam snaps back. Then there’s a long moment of silence, because they haven’t talked to each other like this in a long time, because maybe Dean hasn’t acted like a brother in a while.

  
Then Dean clears his throat. “Anyway, I was actually wondering if you’d do me a favor.”

  
“ _What’s up_?” Sam asks.

  
“I thought maybe if you get a minute you could look up Meg’s father for me? Last name’s Masters, I don’t know his first name. ‘cause you’ve got, you know, contacts and stuff.”

  
“… _Is this because you still don’t know how to use Google_?” Sam guesses.  
“No!” Dean protests. “I just…” He sighs. “It just keeps suggesting things and acting like I’m an idiot when I misspell shit!”

  
Sam laughs. “ _Alright, Grandpa, don’t hurt yourself_.” 

  
“Shut up.” Dean grumbles.

  
“ _Yeah, fine. I’ll do it_.”

  
“Thanks, man.” He hesitates. “Hey, do you and Jess want to, like, come over Sunday or something?”

  
“ _Yeah, sure_!” Sam says, sounding surprised. “ _That sounds great_!”

  
“Alright, cool.”

  
“ _Okay, talk to you later_.”

  
“Bye.”

 

-o-

 

Meg isn’t much for cleaning, she just pokes around the house while Cas picks up. 

  
“What do you even do all day?” She wonders.

  
“I clean.” Cas tells her. 

  
She scrunches her nose. “Boring!” She says. “What about after you finish cleaning?”

  
Cas shrugs. “Sometimes I go out onto the porch.” he says.

  
“Can’t you go further than that?”

  
“I don’t know, I’ve never asked” He admits. “I went out the day I ran away but… that’s it.”

  
“We should go exploring!” She announces.

  
“I don’t know if that’s a good idea.” Cas tells her.

  
She frowns at him. 

  
He huffs. “Maybe later.” He concedes. “I have things to do right now.”

  
“Like what?” 

  
“I have to find something for Anna to wear.” He answers, thoughtfully. “She can’t just go around in that big shirt.” He looks at Meg. “Neither can you, actually! But I think my clothes will be too small for you.”

  
Meg sticks her tongue out, and Cas rolls his eyes. It’s a gesture he learned from her, actually. She taught him earlier today, it’s an expression of exasperation, she said.

 

 

Anna ends up wearing a shirt of his, it’s red with little pink hearts all over, it’s a little too big but not that bad. She wears a blue skirt too, and when he folds the elastic top over a few times you can barely tell it’s too big. Anna stays very still while Cas helps her change, only moving when he tells her to step into the skirt, raise her hands up above her head so that he can slip the shirt onto her. The scars that crisscross her pale skin make him sick, make anger and sorrow bubble in his stomach. 

  
Who did this to his sister? Who hurt her and made her so scared and silent? He wants to know, and at the same time he doesn’t. But it doesn’t matter now, he reminds himself, she’s safe now. She’s here, with him. And with Dean, who would never, ever hurt her like this. 

  
Cas closes his eyes and thanks the stars that he has Dean. Dean is a good alpha, and now he will be a good alpha for Anna too. 

  
When he opens his eyes, Anna is staring up at him curiously, bare feet poking out from under the skirt. Cas smiles and leans down to press a kiss to her forehead, before scooping her up onto his hip. She wraps her arms around his neck and burrows close. 

  
“Do you like the clothes? Do they feel alright?” Cas asks her. 

  
She nods into his shoulder.

  
“Okay, good.” He pushes some of her hair back from her face, tucking it behind her ear. “You let me know if they’re not comfortable, okay?”

  
She nods again. 

  
Cas carries her carefully downstairs, out the front door, and onto the porch. He sits on the top porch step and arranges Anna so that she’s sitting on his lap. After a few minutes, Meg joins them, still wearing Dean’s big shirt.

  
“Now I look stupid.” She grumbles. 

  
“We’ll find you something.” Cas promises.

  
The three of them sit there, letting the sun warm them, for a long while until Cas finally declares that he’s going to start making supper for when Dean gets home. 

 

-o-

 

Dean hears back from Sam shortly before his lunch break comes to an end. His phone buzzes on the tabletop beside him, and he reaches over to answer it quickly.

  
“Hello?”

  
“ _Hey, Dean_.” Sam says. “ _Just wanted to let you know I found that information you wanted_.”

  
“Yeah? Anything good.”

  
Sam grunts. “ _Kind of the opposite, really. Guy’s name is Azazel Masters. Has one daughter, that’s Meg, and a wife that went missing a few years ago under suspicious circumstances. Apparently he was the prime suspect but they never did find anything solid on him so he wasn’t charged_.”

  
“Huh,” Dean says, but Sam isn’t finished.

  
“ _I guess the cops got called out to his house pretty routinely right before she went missing, he even got arrested a few times for beating the wife, but she wouldn’t press charges. Since then he’s been arrested for multiple drunk and disorderlys, disturbing the piece, driving under the influence, battery and possession. Seems like a real piece of work_.”

  
“Huh,” Dean says again. Seems like maybe the kid was telling the truth. Honestly, he’s a little surprised. He’d kind of thought she’d just run away for the thrill of it. “Thanks, Sam.” He says finally.

  
“ _No problem_.” His brother says. “ _I’ll talk to you later, Dean_.”

  
“Later.” Dean says absently, ending the call. How does this happen to him? He wonders. How do strays just find their way to him?

 

 

When he gets home Dean finds the children in the kitchen again, Cas at the stove making supper. Meg is rooting around the refrigerator trying to get something for Cas, and Dean sees her a little differently now. 

  
She’s just a kid, he remembers. She’s been through a lot too, probably. With a father like that, she’d have to. 

  
Dean kicks off his boots near the front door and comes to fall into a chair at the table. “You kids stay out of trouble today?” He asks.

  
“Oh, yes!” Cas says earnestly.

  
Meg looks at Dean, chewing on her lip. She looks nervous. “Can we go exploring?” She blurts finally.

  
“Exploring?” 

  
“Yeah, like, the woods, and the lake and stuff.” Meg clarifies. 

  
Dean thinks for a minute. The kids should be allowed to have some fun, but he doesn’t want then getting into trouble. “Maybe.” He says. “But don’t go too far, and you can only go by the lake if all three of you are together, and no swimming in it.”

  
Meg scrunches her nose, assessing the deal. “Okay.” She says finally.

  
“Alright, good.” Dean leans back in his chair, relaxing again. “What’s for supper?” He asks Cas.

  
“There’s steak for you and Meg, a pasta salad for Anna and I, green beans, and salad.” The boy tells him.

  
“Sounds good.” Dean grunts. 

  
“How was your day at work, Alpha?” Cas wonders. He says “alpha” instead of “Dean”, but Dean is too tired to correct him this time.

  
“Busy.” He says. “I’m worn out.”

  
“If you want to watch the television until supper, we won’t bother you.” Cas promises.

  
“Naw, that’s alright.” Dean says, stretching his arms over his head. “I’m fine here.” He turns to Meg. “Still reading The Wizard of Oz?” 

  
She nods. “It’s not like the movie.”

  
“Nope.”

  
“I like it.” She tells him.

  
He gives her a smile, and she gives him a little one back.

 

 

“Dean?” Dean hears the small voice come from the kids’ room as he comes back from the bathroom. When he looks in that direction, Cas is standing in the doorway in his pajamas, clutching a book and looking bashful.

  
“What’s up?” Dean wonders, coming close.

  
Cas looks up at him through his long lashes. “We, um, we wanted to know if you could… maybe read us a story. Meg… Meg says grownups do that sometimes…” He lilts his sentence up at the end, so it sounds a bit like a question.

  
Dean reaches up to run a hand though his hair as he thinks. He’s tired, really fucking tired. But… Cas is looking up him, so hopeful, and when Dean glances through the doorway he sees Meg on the top bunk, looking at him eagerly, and Anna doesn’t look quite as scared as she usually does. 

  
He sighs. “Okay, what have we got?” 

  
Cas beams up at him, handing him the paperback. He hurries into the room ahead of Dean and scrambles up into the bottom bunk. He quickly snuggles under the covers next to Anna, until just his head is sticking out. 

  
Dean smiles at the sight, and he’s tired, but this is worth it. He walks slowly into the room, examining the book in his hand.

  
“The Golden Compass? I think this was one of Sammy’s.” He says, sitting down on the end of the bottom bunk. 

  
“Anna likes the cover.” Cas tells him.

  
Dean makes himself comfortable, resting his back against the support beam at the end of the bed. He crosses one leg over the other and opens the book to the first page. He hears a rustling above him, and Meg’s head is poking out over the top bunk, just a little.

  
Dean clears his throat. “Chapter One.” He reads. “The Decanter of Tokay.” He squints. “Are you sure this is a book for kids?”

  
Cas shrugs.

  
“Okay, well, I guess we’ll find out.” Dean reasons.

  
Fifteen minutes later, all three of the kids are asleep, and Dean is pretty sure this isn’t a children’s book. He sets the book on the little table at the end of the bed, makes sure everybody is tucked in, and turns out the light. At the door, he stops, and turns to look back at them. An unexpected wave of fondness surges up all of a sudden, threatening to topple him. He hadn’t been sure, so few days ago, that taking Meg and Anna in would be a good idea… he’s starting to think that he made the right decision. 

 

-o-

 

Every morning, Cas makes the special stomach tea for himself and Anna. It helps a lot, and soon his stomach feels just fine, and he assumes Anna’s does too. There are other herbs too now, for headache and fever and to calm nerves. Cas memorizes the measurements, so that he knows just how many scoops of each herb goes into how much water. It makes him feel… useful. More useful than cleaning, even. He’s caring for Meg and Anna now too, making sure they’re safe and healthy. 

Anna is looking better already, her coloring is evening out and her hair and eyes look brighter. 

  
On Sunday, Sam and Jess come over and they all make dinner together. Dean cooks burgers and Jess does tofu dogs and green bean casserole, Sam does mashed potatoes, Cas, Anna and Meg do fruit salad and regular salad. It’s a wonderful day for bonding, all of them working together in the kitchen. They eat the supper out on the porch and then Dean tries to get them all to play football, but Sam is the only one who will do it. 

  
Kevin and Charlie start coming over too, a couple times a week. Kevin brings more herbs and he gives Dean books about caring for omegas ( _actually_ caring for omegas, not that alpha pandering trash they sell in all the big bookstores).   
Jess gives Dean an old sewing machine and Cas and Meg both take up sewing and start to make their own clothes, to Meg’s relief.

  
The children explore the surrounding woods and lake, they grow tanned and both of the girls begin to smile easier. No one comes for Meg, and none of them hear any news about her being missing. 

  
Dean learns, _really_ learns. He learns not to underestimate omegas, because Cas might be small but he will protect his sister with his life. He learns that omegas are not stupid. Anna, small as she is, can already write fluently in three languages and practically devours any information she comes across.   
Meg, too, turns out to be a bit of a surprise. She’s a little spiteful, sometimes mean, but she reads all the time, and she becomes as adept at handling Anna’s panic attacks as Cas.

  
Dean grows, and the children grow and, slowly, they become a family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **If You Follow My Blog**  
>  There's been a problem and I no longer have the blog "frecklesandmisterblueeyes".  
> I've had to make a whole new blog and it's [here](http://frecklesandsky.tumblr.com/). I'm starting from scratch so I've lost all of my followers, and I can't find a lot of the blogs I followed myself.   
> Anyway, if you followed me before i'd really appreciate it if you'd follow this new one!  
> Thank you!


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **This part of the story takes place 5 years after the last part.**  
>  During the interim, Dean's home has become a sort of temporary home for omegas.  
> So now Cas is 14  
> Meg is 14  
> Anna is 10
> 
> Feel free to tell me about any errors, I feel like you guys know by now that i'm pretty shit at proofreading.

 

 

 

 

5 years later.

 

Cas is awake, but he keeps his eyes closed and continues to lay very still. The chill of spring morning still snaps in the air, and he can hear birds outside the window. But his pillow is soft, and his sister’s arm is thrown across his chest, so he doesn’t move just yet. No one else is awake yet, so he doesn’t feel too bad about it, the house is silent but for the occasional creak of boards settling.

 

Beside him, Anna snuffles, burying her face further into her pillow. In these last five years, Anna has grown much. Her skin is tanned and her hair is shiny and thick, her eyes are bright and she doesn’t shake as much as she used to. She has grown taller too, and put on weight. She looks hearty, healthy. She’s more confident now as well, not quite as frightened of her own shadow, she no longer clings to Cas constantly. But she still likes to sleep in the same bed as her brother, to have him near so that she knows they’re both safe, and she still doesn’t speak. Five years, and she hasn’t said a word. It’s not physical, her tongue and vocal cords are fine, Kevin tells them, but nevertheless, no sound passes her lips.

 

Cas sighs, it doesn’t to dwell on things. He gets up slowly, moving his sister’s arm carefully off of him. He dresses silently, slipping a soft shift over his head. It’s patterned with bright sunflowers, and it always makes him happy to wear it. He slips out of his room and down the hall. He creeps past Dean’s room, where he can hear the man snoring softly, past the second bedroom, the one that used to be Dean’s parents’. Now there’s two bunk beds in there, three of out the four spaces occupied by omegas. They come and they go, some stay for a long time, some leave almost immediately. Hael, sleeping in the bottom left bunk, has been here almost a year.

 

Generally, Kevin brings them. Squirreling out on-the-run omegas through channels Cas can only guess at. Here, out in the middle of nowhere, they can recover. It was hard on Dean at first, when he was still getting over the prejudices ingrained in him over a lifetime, but Cas has been, frankly, very impressed at the speed with which Dean embraces new ideals. It was hard on the man’s wallet too, when he was just working at the garage. He still works at the garage, but now they have an enormous vegetable garden at the west side of the house that helps to feed them, they have Meg, who ended up enjoying sewing so much that she makes clothes for everyone, and they have Cas’ bees.

 

The bees were Jess’ idea. She’d seen a special about beekeepers on television and mentioned it to Dean as little more than a romantic notion, but then Cas had got ahold of it and it had just stuck in his mind. He hadn’t been able to get it out, hadn’t been able to let the thought go, and so Dean had said they’d try it out. Immediately, Cas had fallen in love with beekeeping, and what started out as one hive is now twenty, spread out over Dean’s property amongst patches of flowers that Cas also planted. They eat some of the honey, but most of it they sell at the farmer’s market, for a surprisingly high price. Caring for the bees has become an incredibly cathartic activity for Cas, it calms him, grounds him.

 

Cas tiptoes down the stairs and through the house, leaving through the back, careful to shut the door quietly behind him. He treads barefoot through the dew-wet grass to the west side of the house, where the vegetable garden sits still and quiet in the dim morning light. He goes to his knees on the damp earth and begins to pull the weeds that have pushed themselves through the soil during the night. The rich smell of earth and green plants invades his senses, drowning him until he feels overwhelmed with it. The tangy-sweet scent of the tomato plant is all he can smell, the loose dirt slipping between his fingers is all he can feel. He can feel the breeze tickling over his legs, brushing coolly up his shift and dancing between his bare thighs. It fills him up until he’s numb and he floats there in the garden, pulling weed after weed after weed, until the sun rises higher in the sky.

 

He’s brought back to himself by the smell of bacon wafting out of the house, carried to him on the same breeze that has been sweeping his mind away. He’s suddenly aware that he’s sweating, perspiration beading on his forehead, arms, and thighs. Dirt is packed hard beneath his fingernails, and his knees ache from kneeling so long. He finishes weeding quickly and he stands, stretching his arms high above his head and shaking the stiffness from his limbs. On the east side of the house is a communal bathroom, Dean had to have it built after it became clear that his sudden influx of guests and housemates wouldn’t be satisfied with a single bathroom, and this is where Cas goes.

 

“Meg!” He calls out as he goes through the house, knowing that his friend will be up by now.

 

“What?” He hears her shout from the front of the house.

 

“I’m going to take a shower, will you grab me something clean to wear?”

 

“Only if you help me braid my hair once you’re done!”

 

“Alright.” Cas agrees.

 

The new bathroom is behind Dean’s office, and Cas tries not to leave dirt on the floor as he goes. The bathroom is very clean, it smells like lilacs. There are three toilet stalls and, facing them, two shower stalls, beside a row of sinks. Beneath the sinks is a long cupboard holding soap and extra toilet paper and towels. In between the toilet and shower stalls is a long, wooden bench. Cas pulls his shift quickly over his head and drops it onto the bench before stepping into the shower and turning the handle all the way to the left.

 

At first, the water is shockingly cold, it makes his teeth chatter and his skin tighten with goosebumps, but that’s the way he likes it. It warms slowly, and Cas massages shampoo gently into his hair. He’s doing conditioner when he hears the bathroom door open and shut, and then Meg’s voice.

 

“I’m setting you a dress on the bench.” She says.

 

“Thank you!” Cas calls out sweetly.

 

“I hope you know how to do a fishtail.”

 

“Of course I do!” Cas replies.

 

He hears Meg laugh, and then her footsteps are fading away, and he hears the muted thump of the door again.

 

He watches the dirt on his legs turn to mud and swirl down into the drain, mixing with soap bubbles, as he scrubs his skin thoroughly with body-wash that smells of lavender and oatmeal.

 

He steps out of the shower and grabs a towel, scrubbing at his skin with it until it hums. The dress Meg brought him is a sundress, periwinkle blue, with a low scooping neck. It’s one of Cas’ favorites, Dean says it makes him look like a storybook fairy. It slips easily over Cas’ head and when he spins the light material fans out prettily around his thighs.

 

Cas tosses his dirty shift into the clothes bin by the bathroom door and starts back into the house, reveling in the way the air touches lightly on his cleaned skin.

 

In the kitchen he finds Anna, cooking breakfast. She’s making eggs, hash browns, and the bacon Cas smelled earlier. She’s much taller than he was at that age, she doesn’t even have to stand on a chair. At the kitchen table, which is a newer, bigger one than it used to be, sit Gardreel and Inias.

 

Gadreel is a tall, seventeen year old boy with an impassive face who speaks slowly and thinks things through thoroughly. He’s stronger than most omegas Cas has seen, and was apparently used mostly for manual labor. He has been there for several months, and he’s heading out in a few weeks, going to live with an omega cousin in Omaha.

 

Inias is twelve. He’s small and pale and jittery, jumping at the slightest touch and staying well away from Dean. He has barely been at the house a week, and he has thick pink scars all over the insides of his thighs that make Cas sick to his stomach. When he first showed up, he was throwing up frightening amounts of blood and bile. Thankfully it was a simple matter of getting some of the herbs into him, and he’s already looking better.

 

“Good morning, Anna.” Cas says to his sister. He comes up and gives her a kiss on the head and she smiles happily up at him. “Good morning, Inias, Gadreel.” He greets the others.

 

“Morning.” Says Gadreel.

 

“Good morning, Cas.” Squeaks Inias.

 

Cas goes to get glasses and plates out of the cupboard, setting them at the table. As he’s getting the forks, Meg comes into the kitchen with a basket of laundry on her hip.

 

“Don’t forget.” She tells Cas.

 

Cas rolls his eyes. “Yes, yes, I’ll braid your hair, hold on.” He finishes setting out the forks and then motions for her to sit in one of the empty chairs. She comes over, setting the basket of laundry on the floor, and settles into a chair. Cas comes behind her and runs his fingers through her hair to comb it, then he gets to work. His fingers deftly tuck strand after strand of hair under another, quickly braiding a fishtail.

 

“Wow,” Inias breathes, “You’re good at that.”

 

Cas smiles at him. “Thank you. I’ve had a lot of practice.”

 

“Do you think…” Inias purses his lips, working up courage. “could you teach me?”

 

“Of course!” Cas assures him. “I’m sure that Anna would be more than happy to let us practice on her hair later on.”

 

Anna turns and gives them a little smile and a nod. Inias breathes a sigh of relief and relaxes into his chair. He tenses again almost immediately though when Dean comes walking in, footsteps landing heavy on the floor. The alpha comes to pat Meg on the shoulder and give Cas a kiss on the top of his head.

 

“Mornin’.” He greats everyone.

 

There’s a smattering of, “Good morning”s, and Inias and Gadreel watch, wide eyed, as Dean goes over to Anna and scoops her right up.

 

If she made noise, she’d probably be shrieking, she scrunches her nose and slaps ineffectually at the man’s arm as he twirls her around. When he sets her back down though, her mouth is stretched into a wide smile and her face is flushed prettily. Dean gives her a kiss on the head too, and then comes over to sit down heavily at the table, catty-corner to Gadreel.

 

“Everybody doin’ good this morning?” He wonders.

 

Cas hums his affirmation but, beneath his hands, Meg huffs. “The washer is making that sound again.” She tells Dean.

 

“What sound?” He wonders.

 

“You _know_.”

 

“No, what sound?” Dean asks again, but there’s a smile at the corner of his mouth, he’s teasing.

 

Meg rolls her eyes. “You know the one. It’s like ‘chk- clunk, chk- clunk, chk- clank!’”

 

Dean laughs. “I know.” He says.

 

“You’re _such_ an asshole.” Meg complains.

 

“Dean,” Cas reprimands. “don’t tease Meg, you know how irate she gets.”

 

“Yeah, Dean! You know how irate I get, douchface!” Meg sticks her tongue out, and Cas gently steadies her face so that he can finish braiding her hair.

 

“There you go.” He says, finishing it off with a hair tie from the table. “You look beautiful.”

 

“Oh my god, thank you.” Meg says, reaching up to pull the braid over her shoulder and look at it. “I don’t know you do these so well, you’re a doll.” She stands, grabs the basket of clothes from the floor, and leaves the kitchen.

 

“Did anyone wake Hael?” Cas wonders. When he looks around the kitchen, the others are giving him slightly sheepish looks. He sighs. “I’ll get her. Don’t eat without us.” He leaves the kitchen and goes up the creaky stairs, he can hear Meg humming from their room down the hall, where she’s folding clothes. Cas slips into the second bedroom, shared by Gadreel, Inias, and Hael. It’s still dark, and when Cas flips on the light he can make out Hael’s sleeping form under her blankets. She’s just a tiny thing, around four years old, although no one is quite sure when her birthday is. She has long dark hair and bright, happy eyes, although they were dull and lifeless when she first showed up.

 

Cas sits down on the side of her bunk, on her flowery pink bedspread, and gently jostles her shoulder. “Hael,” He says, “It’s time for breakfast, sweetheart.”

 

Her eyes open slowly, and she blinks up at him. “Cas?” She whines.

 

Cas laughs. “Hi there, good morning sleepyhead.”

 

Hael grumbles, rubbing her eye with a small fist and smacking her lips.

 

“You ready to get up?” Cas asks softly.

 

She scrunches her nose and shakes her head.

 

“Oh, really?” Cas asks. “Anna made hash browns, I know you love hash browns. If you don’t get up you’re going to miss them.”

 

She frowns, but then lets out a little sigh. “Okay.” She says, and lifts her hands up toward him.

 

Cas reaches down and slips his hands under her arms, picking her up. Her blankets fall away, revealing a little brown nightdress. She wiggles her toes and snuggles into his side.

 

“You didn’t have any accidents last night, did you?” Cas wonders.

 

Hael shakes her head.

 

“Good job!” Cas praises. “You’re doing so much better!” He carries her out of her room and down the stairs, but they make a stop at the bathroom to brush her teeth before heading back to the kitchen. By the time they get there, Meg is back and the food is plated. Cas and Hael take their seats at the table.

 

 

After breakfast, Cas almost expects Dean to leave for work, before remembering suddenly that it’s Saturday. Elated, he goes and gives the man a hug. Dean starts a little, but then his arms go around Cas’ middle and he squeezes firmly.

 

“What’s this for?” He asks after a while.

 

“I’m glad you don’t have to work today.” Cas says into Dean’s chest.

 

Dean laughs and runs his fingers through the boy’s hair. “You miss me?”

 

Cas pulls back. “No, of course not!” He says, “Why would I miss you? You’re loud and smelly.”

 

Dean grins and chucks him under the chin. “You _did_ miss me.” he says triumphantly.

 

Cas slaps Dean on the arm. “I did _not_! Now leave me alone, I have chores to do.”

 

“Hey, _you_ gave _me_ a hug.” Dean reminds him.

 

“Whatever.” Cas rolls his eyes leaves the kitchen as Dean shakes his head at him.

 

 

The bees are buzzing softly as Cas goes to greet them with the smoker, fuzzy yellow and brown bodies humming happily. He moves throughout the hives deftly and the bees don’t bother him, despite the fact that he’s wearing no protective clothing whatsoever, just his sundress. Dean says it’s magic, he says the bees like Cas best, know that he takes care of them. Cas can’t say for sure, but he loves his bees, and he thinks that maybe they know.

 

When he comes back to the house, Inias and Hael are sitting on the back step waiting for him. Cas puts the smoker and the hive tool back in the little shed that sits at the corner of the house before going to the back step to greet them.

 

“How do you do that?” Inias asks.

 

“Do what?”

 

“Walk around without, you know, that… space uniform.”

 

“… protective clothing?” Cas guesses.

 

Inias nods. “And they don’t even sting you or anything!”

 

“We have a bee veil and some coveralls, I just…” He shrugs. “Don’t really need them. The bees are my friends, they don’t bother me.”

 

Inias looks at him in awe. “You’re brave.” He says.

 

“They’re just bees.” Cas says, “They don’t mean any harm. I could show you how to take care of them, if you’d like.”

 

The boy bites his lip. “I don’t know.” He says slowly. “I don’t really like bees.”

 

“Alright. That’s fine, it isn’t for everyone.”

 

Inias looks at him for a long moment. “Hey Cas?” He says hesitantly.

  
“Yes?”

 

“How come you talk to your alpha… like you do?”

 

“It’s just Dean.” Cas tells him. “He doesn’t mean any harm either.”

 

“But…” Inias says. “I thought…” He swallows. “I mean, my alpha would’a been _so_ mad if I’d hit him like you did.”

 

“We were just playing. Dean… Dean understands that he’s no better than anyone else based on his gender. We try not to use ‘alpha’ and ‘omega’ here, he’s just Dean, i’m just Cas, you’re just Inias, okay? We’re all the same.”

 

Inias looks at him warily, but doesn’t say anything. He’s having a bit of trouble with the whole “equality” thing, but he’ll come around.

 

Hael, quiet until now, chooses this moment to launch herself into Cas’ lap and so he pulls her close and tucks her into his chest.

 

“How are you doing, sweetbean?” Cas asks her.

 

She huffs. “’nias said I’m not allowed to play with the bees!” She accuses.

 

“That is correct!” Cas tells her. “Because I have a _much_ more important mission for you.”

 

She sits up curiously. “What?”

 

“We have to help make pies for the market tomorrow. Can you make pies?”

 

Hael frowns and shrugs.

 

“Well, how about I show you?”

 

“Okay!” She agrees. “Can we make blueberry?”

 

“Oh, I think so.” Cas says, standing, shifting the girl onto his hip. “Are you coming?” He asks Inias.

 

Inias nods, smiling, and stands to brush nonexistent dirt from his pants.

 

 

They make a dozen each of apple, strawberry, blueberry, rhubarb, and cherry pies. They put them in little cardboard boxes that have a cartoon pie drawn on each one and, for the night, put them down in the enormous refrigerators in the garage that sits off to the side of the house.

 

They all sleep soundly, tired out from all the pie making. Cas has odd dreams. He’s chasing something, a smell. It’s very familiar, but he can’t quite identify it. It make his stomach ache oddly and sends shivers of arousal up his spine.

 

He wakes during the night, sweaty and hard in his underwear. He slips out of bed, embarrassed at his arousal, and slips to the bathroom to deal with it. Afterward he lies awake for a long time, trying to figure out that smell. What was that smell?

 

As he slips back into unconsciousness, finally, a figure dashes across his mind. He doesn’t catch it, but he knows that this person is responsible for the smell. He wants to speak to them, and in his dream he calls out, but they just keep moving. The person slips through his fingers, and Cas is left feeling frustrated.

 

In the morning, he won’t remember the second part of the dream, won’t know that it’s the start of something new.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, again, my new tumblr is [here](http://www.frecklesandsky.tumblr.com).


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so there's no sex in this chapter but there's the beginnings of some sexual stuff.
> 
> **Reminder:**  
>  Omegas have super sensitive noses, can often smell moods.  
> Alphas cannot because they have dumb baby noses.

There's a woodpecker outside Dean's window, tapping incessantly away at something and it's really annoying, but Dean is warm and comfortable and he can't be bothered. He continues to just lay there with his eyes closed long after he should. He needs to get up, needs to get going and get everything ready to take to the farmer's market, because it's Sunday, but he doesn’t. He just stays very still, focusing on the way his legs feel just right under the blanket. 

  
He manages it for a while, but he can hear the sounds of life moving throughout the house, footsteps and voices, and he knows that soon he'll have to get up.  
Sure enough, about five minutes later someone knocks at his door.

  
“Come in.” He grumbles.

  
He hears the door open, someone slip in, and then the side of the bed nearest to Dean is dipping and there's Cas, sitting on the edge.

  
“Good morning, Dean!” He says cheerfully.

  
“Hey Cas.” Dean sighs, pulling the blanket up over his head. Of all the things he's hiding from at the moment, Cas is probably the most confusing. Because he loves Cas, he does, really. But also, lately, he's begun to notice... changes. Cas is growing, he's not a little boy anymore. His limbs are long now, and tanned, freckles dance over the fine skin of his back. His hair is shaggy and he's shed almost all of his baby fat. His eyes are still bright though, curious and blue, and his eyelashes are still long, lips still full. He's handsome. Very handsome. 

  
It's not that Dean _wants_ to notice, he just... can't help it lately. And here Cas is now, peeling back the blanket from Dean's head, smiling down at him with those soft lips. He's wearing a little white sundress with a lacy breast and a hem that only comes about halfway down the boy's thighs. His hair and skin are still damp from a recent shower, and smells of that oatmeal bodywash and... something else. Something good. There are a lot of things going through Dean's head right now, none of which are things he _should_ be thinking, and he's a little afraid that if he opens his mouth they'll come spilling out. So he just gazes up at Cas for several long moments until the boy tips his head curiously to the side.

  
“Did you fall back asleep with your eyes open?” The boy wonders.

  
Dean huffs a laugh and goes to sit up, brushing his shoulder against Cas' chest as he does. Cas sits back a little, and the movement sends a fresh wave of that strange smell toward Dean. It's sweet, a little like strawberries maybe, but it makes arousal twist oddly in Dean's stomach and he's not really sure why.  
He clears his throat, trying to dislodge some of these thoughts he shouldn’t be having. “You get a new shampoo?” He asks.

  
Cas frowns. “No, same as always.”

  
“Hmm, new soap? Cologne?” 

  
“Everything's the same as always, Dean.” Cas tells him, sounding a little confused.

  
“Huh.” Says Dean, and now he's staring at the way Cas' dress is slipping up high on his damp thighs. He can't help it, so he pretends he's doing it for other reasons. He reaches out and pulls the hem down a little, brushing his knuckles over skin. “Kind of a short dress, isn’t it?” 

  
Cas rolls his eyes, a habit he picked up from Meg and never let go of. “It's hot out” He explains. “And it's not like I'm going to be bending over in front of any alphas, it'll be fine.”

  
Dean swallows and looks away, fighting the urge to pull the blankets more securely onto his lap, because now he's _picturing_ Cas bending over in this short little dress and that image is not helping. 

  
“I'll, uh, I’ll be down in a minute, alright?” Dean says, hoping the dismissal is evident and that Cas will leave before he smells Dean's arousal.

  
Cas frowns again, nose scrunching up like it does when he's thinking. “Okay. You'd better hurry though, Anna made pancakes and they won't be around for long.”

  
Dean nods and smiles, a little weakly. “I won't be long.” 

  
Cas stands a leaves, casting a thoughtful look over his shoulder. He closes the door behind him though, and Dean sighs and leans back against the headboard. He closes his eyes and thinks about everything he needs to do today until the erection that had built up while Cas was in the room begins to flag. 

  
When he finally gets up he pulls a soft oft-worn t-shirt over his head and his favorite jeans over his legs. He's still sleepy, and he goes down the stairs heavily, yawning and stretching. In the bathroom he brushes his teeth and makes his face presentable before shuffling into the kitchen. 

  
It's positively bustling. Everyone is here, chattering and eating, little Anna is just finishing plating the last of the pancakes and she gives Dean a happy little wave when he comes in. He leans down to give her a kiss on the cheek that turns quickly into a raspberry and she slaps at his arm weakly. When he stops though, she leans up to give him a raspberry on his cheek right back. Dean takes the plate of pancakes that Anna gives him to the table, setting it in the middle. He sits down next to Cas at the end. The boy is reading a book instead of eating, fingers turning a page delicately every once in a while. 

  
“Not eating?” Dean wonders.

  
“Already did.” Cas tells him, not looking up from his book. 

 

 

About ten minutes later, Dean hears the rumble of tires coming down the road, and looks out the window to see Sam's blue minivan puttering up the drive. 

  
“They're here!” Cas exclaims, setting his book on the table and going to stand. He pushes himself away from the table and runs out of the house, Dean can see him sprinting out to meet them with bare feet. He's quickly followed by Anna, Meg, and Hael, who toddles after the bigger children as quickly as he can. Gadreel and Inias are left at the kitchen table, looking a little dazed. Meg accidentally knocks the table as she leaves, and Dean has to catch a glass of orange juice before it topples onto Cas' book.

  
Dean watches out the window as Sam and Jess get out of the van, Sam goes to give the children hugs and Jess goes to open the back door. She comes out with a squirming toddler who immediately starts hollering for Cas, who goes patiently and takes the child into his arms. Laura, her name is. She's three, and she's one of the loudest children Dean has ever met. She has Jess' blond hair and Sam's hazel eyes and a sense of entitlement that comes from being an only child. 

  
Once she's in his arms, she gives Cas a wet kiss on the cheek, and he smiles gently at her, adjusting her to sit on his hip. Then, of course, Hael is lifting her arms to be picked up as well, not wanting to be left out. And Cas can never say no to the little ones, so he leans down carefully and picks up the other girl as well. How he's doing it, Dean has no idea. Cas is barely 120 lbs soaking wet, and neither of those girls are as small as they used to be. But he manages. A few minutes later Cas is coming back inside the house with a girl on each hip, followed by Jess, Meg, and Sam, who has Anna on his shoulders, gripping his hair like reins. 

  
Dean gets up from the table and goes to relieve Cas of some of his burden. Laura screeches when Dean picks her up, but then almost immediately she starts chattering about some bugs she saw on the way here. Cas looks relieved, he adjusts his grip on Hael and gives Dean an appreciative smile.  
Good mornings are said, then Jess is looking at the clock on the above the doorway.

  
“You boys had better get a move on.” She says. “You've still got to load everything up.”

  
Sam, Dean, and Cas go to load the goods into the minivan, honey, pies, and clothes. Then they quickly say their goodbyes and the three of them get into the van and start off down the road. Cas looks out the back window and waves to Jess and the rest of the children. 

  
Dean always feels a little bit bad about leaving Jess and the others home on Sunday, but everyone else is on the run and he can't very well take them to the market with him. Jess says she doesn’t mind, she likes spending time with the children, and Laura needs to burn off energy, but Dean still feels a little guilty. 

  
Once they're on the way though, the feeling quickly fades. Sam drives so they're listening to some shitty pop, and Dean might hate it but Cas is singing happily along in the back seat and he just can't bring himself to say anything. They roll the windows down and let the breeze wash through the van, Dean leans back and lets his eyes slide shut, taking it all in. When they slow down at lights, and the breeze fades, Dean gets whiffs of that smell again. The one like strawberries. He wonders what it is, it really does smell very good. Maybe new detergent, he thinks. He can't remember if he bought a new kind. A few times he sees Sam sniffing too, and he wonders if his brother is smelling the same thing.  

 

 

It takes them a good forty-five minutes to get to the market grounds, a large park a few towns away. The area is already packed but they manage to find a space and unload their goods. Along with their wares they also have two tables, folded up, several lawn chairs, and a wide portable canopy to keep the sun off of their heads. Sam takes off almost immediately after things are set up, as he does. He always gets drawn away by organic foods or homemade nicknacks. Sometimes it's a little annoying, but Dean and Cas can handle the booth just fine, so it's not really a big deal.

  
Dean sits down heavily in his lawn chair with a sigh, and it surprised when Cas immediately scoots his own chair right up next to Dean's, so close that their arms touch.

  
“Hey, buddy.” Dean says, lifting his arm to set on the back of Cas' chair. For the past few years the boy hasn’t been as cuddly as he used to be, and Dean has missed it, really, so he's going to take any chances he gets.

  
Cas moves closer, into the space at Dean's side, snuggling his face into the man's chest. “Hi.” He says.

  
“Are you... feeling alright?” Dean inquires, confused by Cas' sudden need for contact.

  
Cas hums. “Yeah. My stomach feels kind of funny, but I think it'll be alright.”

  
“Okay, good.” Dean says, carding his fingers through the boy's dark locks. “You been sleeping alright, lately?”

  
“Oh, yes.” Cas sighs.

  
“How about Anna?”

  
“No nightmares lately.” Cas tell him. “Meg is alright too.  I have noticed that Inias often looks very tired though, I thought I might talk to him when we get back.”

  
“That sounds like a good idea.” Dean says, looking fondly down at Cas. “You're smart, you know that?”

  
Cas looks up long enough for Dean to see a blush creeping up his cheeks, then he buries his face in the man's chest again. “Ugh.” He says, which is what usually happens when he gets compliments.

  
“I'm serious.” Dean reiterates. “You're so smart, I’m proud of you.”

  
“Stop it.” Cas demands, voice muffled by the soft fabric of the older man's shirt. 

  
“And you're sweet.” Dean says, smiling. “And you're good at gardening, and beekeeping, and taking care of the kids.”

  
The tips of Cas' ears, poking out from his shaggy hair, are bright red. Cas jabs at Dean's stomach with a finger. “Quit!” He says.

  
“ _And_ you're great at cleaning and decorating and telling me when my clothes don't match-”

  
“Someone has to.” Cas interrupts grouchily.

  
“And you're handsome.” Dean says, kissing the top of Cas' head. 

  
Cas looks up, glowering weakly. He huffs. He opens his mouth to say something, probably snarky, so Dean swoops down and places a kiss on the tip of his nose, the way he used to do when the boy was smaller.

  
Cas' expression falters, then his frown melts away and he's grinning bashfully. He scoots closer and goes up onto his knees to give Dean a kiss on the nose too, and Dean feels an overwhelming surge of fondness that threatens to get him choked up. He kisses the boy on the forehead, then pulls him close. Cas snuggles against him again, and they stay like that for a long time until someone clears their throat. Dean looks up, startled to find a man standing on the other side of the table, holding a jar of honey and looking annoyed. 

  
“ _If you're finished_ ,” The man says coolly, “I'd like to buy this.”

  
Cas moves quickly away from Dean, looking more than a little embarrassed. Dean stands and quickly, gruffly goes through the process of checking the man out. He knows it's bad customer service, but that guy ruined a very nice moment and Dean is kind of irrationally pissed off. 

  
When Dean sits back down, Cas stays resolutely in his own chair, hands in his lap. He's biting his lip, looking thoughtful, so Dean doesn’t bother him. 

  
After a little while, three or four customers, Cas finally speaks again.  
“You think I’m handsome?” He asks.

  
Dean pauses. “Of course.” He says, hoping this alright, hoping he's not crossing a line.

  
Cas purses his lips, thinks for a moment. “I think you're handsome too.” He says.

  
Dean swallows, stomach giving a happy flip. “Thanks, bud.” He says nonchalantly. Cas means it innocently, he's sure, but he's still happy about it.  
They talk more, about nothing important. They sell their goods, they wait for Sam. 

  
When Sam finally comes back he's got several homemade jams, a handmade bracelet with a bunch of pink crystals on it, and a carved wooden statue that looks like an elk, or maybe a beaver … Dean isn’t really sure. 

  
“What is that?” Cas wonders as Sam struggles with his purchases.

  
“It's a – _oof_ – a protector or something. Some kind of... reindeer god? I don't know, I thought it might look nice on out mantle.” He sets his things on the now empty table. “Looks like you guys did good.”

  
“We sold everything!” Cas says excitedly. 

  
“We'll live to pay our bills another month.” Dean sighs. 

  
“I heard a lot of good things about your honey while I was out.” Sam tells Cas.

  
Cas perks up. “Really?”

  
Sam nods. “A lot of “best in the county” talk being thrown around.”

  
Cas beams. He presses his palms against his cheeks. “Oh, goodness.”

  
“See?” Dean says. “You're good at honey.”

  
Cas smiles happily while they put their table, chairs, and canopy back into the van. As their about to get in though, Cas catches Dean's arm. Dean turns, and finds the boy looking nervously up at him.

  
“Dean?” He says softly. “Could I sit on your lap?” 

  
“That's against the law, buddy.” Dean reminds him. 

  
“Well, we could sit in the back, and no cops would see us.”

  
“Cas, you're fourteen. You're too big to sit on my lap.” Dean says.

  
Cas frowns and looks down at his hands dejectedly. 

  
“Hey, what's this about?” Dean asks quietly. He doesn’t want to boy to be sad, but as much as he might want Cas to sit on his lap, the fact remains that Cas is just too damn big for that. 

  
“I... I just-” Cas sighs. “I don't know. I'm sorry. Forget I said anything.” He ducks away and into the van.

  
Dean looks after him, more than a little confused. He's not at all sure what just happened. He stands there, dazed, for several moments until Sam honks the horn. He slips into the passenger seat, but he can't help wondering what's up with Cas, who is very quiet the entire drive home.

 

 

When they get home, the family greets them as though they've been gone for weeks instead of hours. There's lots of shouting and hugging and Cas picks Hael up to spin her dramatically in the air. Jess makes supper, giving Anna a respite, and they eat all together, packed tightly around the table. 

 

-o-

 

Cas catches Inias in the hall after dinner. Having a large family in enjoyable, but it does make it fairly difficult to talk to anyone privately. 

  
“Inias,” Cas starts, setting his hand softly on Inias' shoulder. “Do you have trouble sleeping?”

  
Inias thinks for a moment, then nods. 

  
“Is it nightmares?” Cas asks.

  
Inias shrugs.

  
“Why didn't you say anything?”

  
The smaller boy looks down. “Didn't want to be a bother.” He mutters.

  
Cas goes to his knees in front of the child, so that they're of a height. “You're not a bother.” He says earnestly. “We want to make sure you're doing alright.”

  
Inias looks back up. “Alright.” He says hesitantly. “I … I do have bad dreams sometimes.”

  
Cas smiles at him. “That's alright, we all do. I've got some tea that might help, if you drink it before bed. Would you like to try that?”

  
Inias ducks his head and nods. “Yes, please.” 

  
“I'll make you some tonight, okay?”

  
Instead of an answer though, Inias lurches forward to throw his arms around Cas' neck.

  
Cas freezes, this is the most physical contact Inias has initiated with anyone since coming here. Very carefully, Cas puts his arms around the small boy. 

  
“Thanks.” He hears, whispered.

  
“You're welcome.” Cas chokes, emotion thickening in his throat. 

  
Inias pulls back and darts away, leaving Cas kneeling in the dark hall feeling like he's going to cry. Cas blinks back tears, annoyed with himself. He can't seem to keep his emotions in check today. He's just been feeling so weird and off-balance and he really hopes a good night's sleep will make him feel better.

  
He sighs and stands, making his way to the living room, where Dean, Sam, Meg and Gadreel are watching a football game. Cas has no interest in the sport, none at all, but there's a little space between Dean and the couch arm that looks very inviting. He's been craving contact today, with Dean mostly. He feels itchy and odd under his skin, like it doesn’t quite fit right, but that goes away when he's pressed up against Dean. It's not like it's really a bother, Cas likes being close to Dean anyway. With Dean, he feels safe, he feels cared for. Dean smells very nice too, and his eyes are kind. His arms are strong, and when he gives Cas kisses on the head or nose Cas' stomach does this weird, flippy thing. It's not entirely unpleasant. So Cas goes and squeezes himself into that little spot, pressing himself as close to Dean as he can get, squirming up under his arm. Dean just watches him with an amused look on his face. Once he's settled, feet up underneath him, Cas sighs and leans his head on Dean's shoulder. Dean drags his fingers absentmindedly through Cas' hair, fingers dragging down his scalp, leaving tingling trails. Cas leans into it without thinking, humming  happily at the sensation. Then Sam, on the other side of Dean, is sniffing.

  
“What _is_ that smell?” He asks. “I've been smelling it on and off all day.”

  
“What's it smell like?” Dean inquires. 

  
“Like... strawberry jam, maybe?” 

  
“Oh, that's Cas.” Dean tells him. 

  
Cas huffs. “It is _not_!” He insists. “I smell the same as always. I haven’t done anything differently.”

  
“Are you sure? Maybe it's new detergent.” Dean looks at Meg. “Did we get new detergent?”

  
Meg shakes her head. “Same as always.”

  
“Huh.” Says Dean. He turns back to Cas and, suddenly, he's leaning close and sniffing. “Yeah, that's definitely... definitely you.” He sniffs again, and his eyes look a little weird, a little unfocused. 

  
“Dean?” Cas says, concerned.

  
Dean leans even closer, and his nose touches Cas' neck as he snuffles there. His breaths get deeper, and he's holding Cas tighter than he was before.

  
“Dean!” Cas yelps, because he's honestly worried now. Dean's grip is getting tighter and tighter and, although it does feel nice when Dean's nose brushes his ear, he's getting scared because Dean doesn’t seem like himself. Dean would never squeeze him this tightly.

  
“ _Dean_!” He says again, louder this time, and as firmly as he can manage. 

  
Dean stills, his grip loosens, he jerks away. When he meets Cas' eyes, he looks just as afraid as Cas feels. 

  
“Fuck- I- sorry! Sorry!” He scrambles to his feet. “I've got- ah-” And he bolts, leaving the room as fast as he can. Cas just sits there, confused, until the spicy tang of arousal hits his nostrils. That's why Dean left so quickly? He was... aroused? Cas swallows, and when he looks around he can tell by the looks on their faces that Meg and Gadreel smell it too. Sam's alpha nose can't smell as much as the rest of them, so he's still sitting there oblivious, but Cas is still confused and embarrassed and he can _feel_ the others staring at him. So he runs too. He gets up and runs out of the room, not even bothering to make excuses. He can smell where Dean went, the trail of arousal hanging heavy in the air tells him clearly that Dean is in the bathroom. So Cas hurries past it and goes to his room to hide under the covers.

There's a part of him that's pleased, very pleased, with Dean's reaction, for reasons he can't quite work out. But also he's confused, unsure. Today has been weird and he just wants it to be over. He can hear other people moving about the house. He hears when Sam, Jess, and Laura leave, their van crunching over the gravel. He hears when Meg comes in, but he ignores her questions and pretends that he's asleep. Anna comes in later. She pats him on the head and slides into the bunk next him, and her presence makes him feel a little better. Things can't be too bad if Anna is alright. 

  
Dean doesn’t come to try and talk to him, and Cas doesn’t know exactly how he feels about that. On one hand, he sort of just wants to pretend nothing happened. On the other... maybe... maybe he sort of liked the smell of Dean's arousal, and maybe it made him feel a little powerful, and maybe he sometimes wonders what it would be like to kiss Dean, and he bets it would be nice. 

  
But Dean doesn’t come to talk about it, and Cas falls into a fitful sleep, still in his day clothes. He tosses and turns, his dreams full of odd, ultra vibrant colors and tilting floors. 

 

  
It's in the dark, early hours of the morning that Cas wakes, gasping. He's hot, too hot. He's all wet, sweating through his clothes, and his throat it so incredibly dry. He tosses the blanket off of himself, coughing, not caring if he wakes anyone else, not even giving it a thought. The only thing he can think to do is get somewhere cooler, because he's so hot that he feels like he's suffocating. He stumbles out of bed and is immediately overcome with a wave of dizziness and nausea. He falls to the floor and notices that his hands are shaking, badly. It's then that he feels something drip down his inner thigh. He's all wet between his legs.

  
“Oh, no!” He gasps, realizing with a sudden, all-consuming dread, what's happening. It's his heat. His first heat. 

  
He coughs again and it turns into a gag, he leans his forehead against the wood floor and tries not to vomit. He wants to die.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Question for my readers**  
>  How do you guys feel about mpreg? I honestly have no leanings one way or the other and i'm trying to decide whether or not I should put it in. I'm not sure, and it's not in the tags since I didnt plan on it at the beginning.  
> I've asked this question on tumblr and the responses are pretty split.  
> What are your thoughts?


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **WARNINGS FOR THIS CHAPTER:**  
>  There's no _penetration_ , but there is sexual content. Also the first day of Cas' heat is a little scary. 
> 
> **NOTES**  
>  -Why didn't anyone see Cas' heat coming (you wonder)?  
> First off, as an alpha, Dean doesn't know much about heats. They aren't taught about in school, there's not really any reliable literature on the matter. More omegas die from their first heat than from almost any other cause, mainly because, in this 'verse, alphas don't bother to learn about it and omegas don't have the means to.  
> The only omega in the house old enough to have been through a heat is Gadreel, and he may have simply not been paying enough attention.  
> As for Kevin, he has other things on his plate. He's got a lot going on and probably didn't realize Cas was at that age. 
> 
> \- The Heat Cycle (if you're interested in knowing more about it)  
> An omega's heat cycle is basically when the body is the most fertile and trying to attract a mate.  
> The first day is the body getting itself ready, it's generally pretty rough, but it's worse for omegas going through it for the first time because not only have they never experienced it before, but neither have their bodies.  
> The second day they release a lot of pheromones, so that alphas know they're fertile, and their libidos go into overdrive (they get super extra horny)  
> The heat can last two to three days after that, with the libido settling down slowly and the cramps and nausea abating. During the first day of the overactive libido omegas usually aren't thinking very clearly, but the days after that they're clearer-headed. 
> 
>  
> 
> **p.s.  
> **  
>  My decision about whether or not to include mpreg is in the bottom notes.

Cas doesn’t know how long he's been on the floor. He's sweating, shaking, and it's all he can do not to vomit, let alone count the minutes. At some point though, his sister wakes. Maybe she heard him fall, or gag, or she just woke on her own. He doesn’t know. It doesn’t matter. She's there, hands fluttering frantically around his face, expression twisted with fear. Then she's gone and he can hear, far away, sounds that mean Meg has been woken. 

  
“Holy shit!” He hears her exclaim. “What's wrong with him?”

  
There's no answer, obviously, but then Meg says, “Go get Dean!” and Cas hears the patter of feet.

  
“Hey, Cas, can you hear me?” Meg's voice comes through the haze of confusion and pain. 

  
Cas summons what strength he can, and nods. 

  
He hears Meg sigh, and feels here sit down by his head. “Okay, it's okay, Anna went to get Dean.” She moves his head onto her lap and cradles it there, stroking sweat-soaked hair away from his forehead. He can hear her mumbling to herself but everything is so hazy and odd and he can't make anything out. It feels like a long time before Cas hears heavy footsteps coming down the hall, followed by softer ones, but it could be no time at all. He hears Dean's voice then, just a deep rumble that reaches into his chest and squeezes his heart like a vice. When he opens his eyes, Dean is filling up Cas' vision, leaning over him looking concerned.

  
“Dean.” Cas whispers. The work breaks on the roughness of his dry throat, the edges of his cracked lips, but it still manages to make its way out, and Dean hears it.

  
“I'm here.” The man says, reaching down to brush his fingers across Cas' forehead. “I'm here.”

  
His fingers are so cool, and a smell rolls off of his skin like a spring breeze, good and refreshing. Cas wants more of it, he wants to be enveloped within that smell. It makes the muscles in his stomach unclench a little, easing some of the pain there. He summons what little strength he can and lifts his arms up toward Dean, wanting to be closer. He hears the man's breath hitch oddly, but then he's being lifted up into Dean's lap and cradled gently and, for a moment, he feels like everything will be okay. 

  
He leans into Dean, pressing his face into the man's shoulder and breathing deeply of his cool scent. Slowly, his arms stop trembling and, although his stomach still hurts a lot, it's a bit more bearable now. He sighs softly, a small amount of tension leaving his body, and loops his arms around Dean's chest. There's a large hand stroking gently down his back, and when Dean speaks he can feel the vibrations against his cheek.

  
“Cas, can you hear me, buddy?” 

  
Cas nods weakly. 

  
“Can you tell me what's wrong? Come on, talk to me.” He sounds scared, and Cas wants to answer him, but he's just so tired and he can't seem to make his mouth work. Instead, he reaches down to where his thigh is sticky with slick, drags his hand through it, and brings it back up for Dean to see. 

  
“Ah, fuck.” Dean swears. “It's your fuckin' heat?!”

 

-o-

 

Cas is in heat. This explain, well, everything really. The boy's cuddliness yesterday and that weird smell, as well as Dean's – ah – untimely boner last night. 

  
“ _I'll be there as soon as I can_.” Comes Kevin's voice through the little cell-phone speaker.

  
“Alright, hurry.” Dean replies. He presses the red “end” button and sets his phone down beside him so that he can wrap his arms around Cas, who is still in his lap. Dean is having a hard time, literally. He's hard as a rock in his pajama pants and he just hopes Cas doesn’t notice. The smell of Cas' heat is everywhere, drowning out everything else and Dean is barely keeping his shit together. It just smells so _good_. He's not even sure why, exactly. It smells like strawberries, that's it, but he sure as hell hasn’t had this kind of reaction to strawberries before. Some sort of chemical reaction, he guesses. Pheromones or hormones or... whatever.

  
He has been trying to breathe through his mouth instead of his nose, but that doesn’t actually help much because somehow he can taste it on his tongue and it makes him want to taste Cas. All over, but especially down between his legs where he knows slick is leaking out of Cas' hole, dripping down his legs. _God_ he bets Cas' slick tastes so good, sweet like his scent. When the boy brought some up for Dean to see earlier, in response to the man asking what was wrong, Dean had just barely stopped himself from taking those nimble fingers into his mouth and sucking the stuff right off of them.  
But he didn't, and he can't. He leans his head back against the wall and tries his best to keep his mind on chaste subjects, to no avail. His thoughts keep coming back to the little omega in his lap. In heat. Just sitting there all sweet and ripe and good smelling. He could just lay the boy down and push his panties out of the way and-

  
Dean pinches himself hard on the leg. This is _not_ the time. Cas trusts him. Cas expects Dean to look after him, protect him, and Dean is not going to break that trust. He's going to control himself if it kills him. 

  
Kevin will be here soon, he reminds himself, with supplies and know-how, and he'll know what to do. Sam and Jess are coming too, to watch the kids, and for moral support. Everything will be alright, Dean says to himself again, he can control himself. 

  
Anna is sitting next to them, knees pulled up to her chest. She looks terrified, and she keeps reaching out to brush hair away from Cas' face. Meg has gone to get new sheets for Cas' bed, which have a big spot of slick on them from when Cas was asleep, and Dean hopes that once the soiled linens are gone the smell won't be overpowering. The one bit of good news is that Gadreel, as the oldest omega in the house, has actually gone through heats before, so Dean doesn’t feel quite so much like he's flying alone here. The older boy has gone downstairs to get some things he thinks will be helpful, and he'll be back soon. When he does come back, Dean wants to ask him if it's normal for Cas to be this still, this pale. He's worried, he really it, and it's sobering. Cas seems to barely be able to speak at all, he's shaky, dark circles ring his eyes, and his lips are pale and dry. 

  
Dean runs his thumb over the boy's bottom lip, feeling the roughness. Cas is unresponsive.

  
“Cas,” Dean tries gently. “Cas, buddy, can you hear me?” But there's nothing. Not even a nod this time. Dean closes his eyes and swallows hard, trying to calm his heart. 

  
He hears footsteps, and Gadreel is rushing in and kneeling down in front of him with towels and bottled water.

  
“Here,” He says, pressing one of the waters into Dean's hand. “Try and get him to drink that, he's probably dehydrated.” He goes about trying to situate the towels underneath Cas, while Dean fumbles with the bottle lid.

Once he finally gets it, he leans Cas back a little.

  
“Cas,” He says, louder this time. “Cas, wake up. Please? Please, wake up.” He ends up pleading, and he knows he should be embarrassed but he can't summon the energy. But it works. Cas eyes flutter just a little.

  
“Hey, hey Cas.” Dean says, trying to keep the boy awake. “Can you try and drink this for me?”

  
Cas whispers something unintelligible, which Dean takes as a yes, but when he tries to get the boy to drink his head lolls forward and the liquid spills into his lap. 

  
Dean bites back a frustrated curse, but then Anna is there, holding Cas' head steady, and when Dean tries to get the boy to drink a second time it works. He even swallows on his own, albeit slowly. 

  
When Gadreel finishes with the towels he goes to the window and turns the latch before pressing the pane up, opening the room to the outside. A breeze washes through, diluting the heat scent, and Dean breathes a sigh of relief.  
“Oh, thank god.” He says. 

  
“I'm impressed with your ability to control yourself.” Gadreel says from next to the window, expression thoughtful, mouth drawn down into a frown. “Given your state of arousal.”

  
Dean starts. “My state of...” He stops. With everything going on he'd totally forgotten that omegas can smell arousal. They can all smell it. Gadreel and Anna can, and Kevin will be able to smell it as well. His face burns, and a wave of humiliation washes over him. They all know. He can feel bile rising in his throat. 

  
“Dean,” Gadreel says, coming closer. He kneels in front of the man. “It is admirable. I commend you for being here to take care of him, even thought it is hard for you.” He reaches out and puts his hand on Dean's shoulder. “We are not all so lucky as to have someone who cares for us around during our first heat. We are not all so lucky as to have someone who makes an effort to control themselves. I...” He takes his hand away. “I have a new respect for you.”

Dean sits there, flabbergasted. This may be the most Gadreel has ever spoken to him. “Thanks.” He croaks. 

  
Gadreel nods once and stands. “I'll go... get more water.” He says, awkwardly, shuffling quickly out the door. 

  
Dean looks up and finds Anna still sitting next to him, watching him with raised eyebrows.

  
“Oh, don't look at me like that.” He grumbles. She just purses her lips.

 

 

Dean and Anna coax more water into Cas. It's slow going, but at least it's something. Meg changes the sheets on Cas' bed, and finally the room is almost bearable. Hael and Inias hover by the door, whispering worriedly, and Gadreel keeps leaving to get things they don't really need. Dean suspects that he's uncomfortable.

  
It's about a half hour before Dean hears a vehicle rumbling up the drive. Meg runs to the window to look out.

  
“It's Kevin!” She declares. She runs out of the room and down the stairs, rushing to meet Kevin at the door. Dean hears voices and then footsteps ascending the stairs, slower this time. After a moment, Kevin is at the door, leather satchel in hand. He comes to kneel in front of Dean, reaching out to turn Cas gently, looking at the boy's eyes and feeling his pulse. 

  
“Have you been keeping him hydrated?” Kevin asks.

  
“Yes.” Dean assures him. “He's been drinking.”

  
Kevin hums and keeps inspecting Cas, he checks his mouth and listens to his breathing. Then he tuns and opens his bag. Out of it he brings a Ziploc bag full of herbs, several bottles of pills, and a bag of maxi pads. 

  
“Here,” He says, handing the Ziploc bag to Meg. “Make tea with this. A teaspoon to two cups of water.” He opens one of the pill bottles and shakes out one large blue capsule, which he presses to Cas' lips. “Here you go,” He says gently. “Swallow this down, it'll make you feel better, there you go.”

  
Cas opens his lips a fraction and lets the pill fall onto his tongue and rest there until Dean brings a bottle of water to his mouth to wash it down. He swallows jerkily, and some of the water spills out and down his front, but he gets the pill down and that's what matters. After that, Kevin opens the bag of pads, sighing.

“He's not as bad as some I’ve seen.” He tells Dean. “The first heat is extremely rough on omegas. Honestly, about half of the omegas who go into heat while in servitude don't make it through.”  Before Dean can answer, Kevin turns to Anna. 

  
“Anna, would you get me a clean pair of underpants for Cas?” He asks.  
Anna nods, getting quickly to her feet and going to Cas' chest of drawers across the room.

  
“Dean,” Kevin addresses him. “Maybe you... ah, well... what I mean is, it would probably be best if you step outside for a moment.”

  
“Oh, oh sure.” Dean says, although he'd really rather not. He wants to be right there where he can see Cas, protect Cas, smell Cas. He passes off a semi-conscious Cas to Kevin and stands slowly, stretching the kinks out of his legs. He goes to his bedroom to change out of his sleep pants, now soaked with slick. He refrains from licking any of the stuff off of them, but if he brings them to his nose to smell the slick, it's his own business. After that he paces the downstairs. He knows that Kevin has to change Cas' panties because of all the slick, and that it wouldn’t be appropriate for him, an alpha, to be in the room, but there's still a small part of him that resents being kicked out. 

  
He sits in the kitchen for a while with Meg while she makes the tea, but then it's done and she leaves to take it upstairs and he's alone again. Luckily, a few minutes later Sam shows up with Jess and Laura in tow. He fills them in and Jess makes Laura a little nest of blankets on the floor of the living room. The three alphas sit on the living room couch and Dean tries not to fidget nervously. 

  
“Dean, you can come back up.” A voice calls down the stairs some time later.  
This time, when Dean enters the room, Cas actually seems to be conscious. He's sitting next to the bed, leaning against the frame, with a mug of the steaming tea in his hands. His hands are still shaky though, and he's still very pale. When he sees Dean, though, he lifts a hand, beckoning. 

  
Dean is very aware of everyone else in the room as he goes to Cas, sitting down next to him on the floor. The boy immediately leans into him, tucking his feet up under Dean's legs and turning his face into Dean's chest. 

  
“As an alpha, your hormones will help sooth his heat slightly.” Kevin informs him from where he stands next to the dresser. 

  
Dean nods, and this is good. It's good that he can help, right? So why is his heart suddenly down near his knees? Because... because he could be any alpha, he realizes. It doesn’t matter. It's not the closeness to _him_ that Cas craves, it's alpha hormones. But he pushes his feelings down and wraps an arm around the boy, because Cas' health is what matters. 

  
Eventually, the others filter out slowly, going back to sleep or to do chores, until it's just Dean and Cas. Cas dozes fitfully against Dean's chest, but it's not the scary, unresponsive sleep from before, and for that Dean is grateful.  
About every half-hour Kevin comes to bring more tea and to check on Cas. He seems pleased with the results.

  
“He's going to be alright.” The man tells Dean. “It's still going to be rough, but, health-wise, I think we've gotten over the biggest hurdle.”

  
Dean breathes a sigh of relief. “Fuck. Good.” He expresses. “Had me scared half to death.” 

  
“There's stages to it.” Kevin says. “The first full day is the hardest, the most painful, but you're going to get the nausea, headaches, and dizziness all week. He's going to be emotional and weak as well. The next stage is heightened sexual arousal. I'm guessing it will probably start tonight or tomorrow morning. His body will be searching for a mate, so it will make a lot more of certain hormones than it usually does, and he'll be putting off a lot of pheromones.” Kevin purses his lips, thinking. “I hate to be so blunt, but...” He rubs his chin nervously. “I would, ah, _not_ advise mating with him.”

  
Dean's eyes go wide. “Of course not!” He says. “I- I wouldn’t, I would never...” He trails off as Kevin gives him a hard look.

  
“Don't lie to me, Dean, I can smell it.”

  
Dean swallows, looking away. “I wouldn’t.” He says again. “I would never do anything to hurt him.”

  
“I understand that.” Kevin says. “But _you_ must understand, his body _will_ want you to mate with him. It will respond to your alpha hormones, he will probably ask you to mate with him.”

  
Dean looks quickly back at Kevin, panic plane on his face, because there's no way he'll be able to say no if Cas asks... if he asks that. There's no way.

  
“You have to be strong.” Kevin tells him. “You have to be the responsible one, because he won't be thinking straight. It will be very difficult, I know, the pheromones are extremely potent.” 

  
“B-but you'll be here, won't you? You can just, you know, throw some water on me or something. Right?”

  
Kevin shrugs. “It may not be enough. But... I will try and help you.” 

  
Dean breathes a sigh of relief and Kevin reaches out to pat him on the shoulder. 

  
“In any case, we don't have to worry about that until tomorrow.” He stands. “I've brought some toys for him too, for when he becomes aroused.”

  
Dean nods, trying his hardest to keep the image of Cas and sex toys out of his mind.

 

 

An hour later, Sam comes up to check on them. Dean has moved them onto the bed, leaning against the wall, because the floor was killing his back. Cas is still in his lap, curled up as much as a fourteen-year-old can be.

  
“How's he doing?” Sam asks.

  
“Alright, I think.” Dean answers. “Kevin says he's doing a lot better. Just sleeping now.” He sighs. “I, on the other hand, have had to piss for about forty five minutes, but every time I try to get up Cas wakes up and freaks out. Kevin says the alpha hormones help with the pain, so that's probably why.”

  
“You want me to take him for a minute?” Sam offers.

  
Dean does not. He wants to keep Cas safe, keep Cas close. But Dean has to piss and Sam doesn’t really seem affected by the heat smell, so Dean says, “Alright, yeah.” 

  
Sam sits down on the bed and Dean passes Cas over to him. The boy immediately leans into Sam, making Dean's stomach twist with something akin to jealously. But he pushes it down and goes to the downstairs bathroom to pee, because he honestly can't hold it much longer. 

  
He's gone maybe two minutes, three tops, but when he exits the bathroom a wave of the heat smell hits him unexpectedly. He coughs and looks around, confused as to why the smell would be down here. He's surprised, to say the least, to see Cas sitting at the top of the stairs, sobbing into his hands. Sam stands behind him, looking bewildered.

  
When Dean starts up the stairs Cas looks up, still crying, and stretches his arms out toward him. 

  
“Dean!” He sobs. “Dean, Dean!”

  
Dean takes the rest of the stairs at a run, scooping Cas into his arms when he reaches the top. He slips one arm around the boy's back and one under his legs and hoists him up bridal style. Cas just wraps his arms around Dean's neck and continues to cry into his shoulder.

  
“What the fuck happened?” Dean asks Sam.

  
Sam shrugs. “He woke up and freaked out when you weren’t there. Just bolted out of the room. Honestly, I thought he was too weak to walk, but apparently not.”

  
Dean is a little ashamed when his heart leaps with pleasure at the words. Cas didn't want Sam, he wanted Dean. Maybe it's not just any alpha that Cas needs.

  
Cas hiccups into Dean's shirt. “Thought you left me.” He whispers. 

  
“No, no of course not.” Dean assures him, rocking him from side to side soothingly. “I just had to pee, I’m here now. I've got you.” 

  
At his words, Cas quiets a bit, down to the occasional hiccup. 

  
“Well, thanks anyway.” Dean tells Sam.

  
Sam shakes his head. “Sorry I couldn’t be more help.”

  
“Nah, it's fine.” Dean assures him. Before he leaves, he asks. “Does his smell really not do anything for you?”

  
“Not really.” Sam informs him. “I mean, it smells good but, like, not really in a sexual way.”

  
“Maybe 'cause you're mated.” Dean guesses.

  
“Could be.” Sam agrees. “I honestly don't know.”

  
Dean shifts thoughtfully from one foot to the other. “Are you guys staying over tonight?” He wonders.

  
Sam shakes his head. “Can't, I've got to work tomorrow.” He says.

  
Dean curses quietly, wondering how many days he can call into work sick before he gets into trouble and, on the same note, how long Cas' heat is going to last exactly.

  
“Well, thanks for coming out.”

  
Sam claps him on the shoulder. “No problem.” He says. “I'll see you next weekend. Call me if you need anything.” He turns to leave.

  
“Will do.” Dean assures him.

 

 

Eventually, day turns to night again, and the inevitable shuffle for beds begins. Meg says that she can't sleep with the overly-pungent heat smell in their room, but Dean feels like it's probably not appropriate to bring Cas into his room with him, and the boy _refuses_ to be separated from the man. So Dean pulls out the bed from the living-room couch, planning on sleeping there. He offers Kevin his bed, and Meg makes room in hers so that Anna won't have to sleep on her own. It's kind of a mess. 

  
Finally, everything is situated, and Kevin tells Dean to get him if anything happens. Dean and Cas get situated on the pull-out bed, and Dean tries to put as much distance in between himself and the omega as he can, but Cas immediately closes it, plastering himself to Dean's side. 

  
Sleeping is difficult, because that smell is still worming its way into Dean's brain and Cas is so _close_ and _warm_ and _sweet_. But Dean keeps his hands chastely on the boy's back, because Cas trusts him and he's got to be the responsible one here. Eventually, he falls into a fitful sleep, Cas curled close to him.

 

-o-

 

When Cas wakes, it's dark outside. The electric clock on the bookshelf by the door reads 4:25. He blinks sleep out of his eyes and sits up slowly. He feels so weak and strange, but this is the most alert he's felt in what seems like a really long time. As he sits up, though, he becomes aware of an odd feeling in his lower stomach. It's an open feeling, like his insides are a pit, and he doesn’t like it at all. He rubs at his stomach, hoping to push the feeling out, but it doesn’t help. He sighs, deciding that, however weird this is, it's decidedly better than the nausea and the pain. He lays back down, nestling his head on Dean's chest. He falls asleep thinking how wonderful it is to have an alpha who cares for him so very much.

 

 

When Cas wakes again it's not much later, but he feels different. That odd, empty feeling is back, but it's so much worse than before. On top of it is a heavy blanket of _need_ , but he's not sure what he needs exactly, just that he aches all over and he needs _something_. It takes him several moments to notice that he's painfully stiff in his panties and he's leaking slick again, soaking through the pad Kevin gave him earlier. He pulls the hem of his nightdress up, whimpering when he accidentally brushes his hand along the length of his erection. Looking down at himself, he feels a bit of the usual shame, but, more than that, he _wants_. He looks beside himself and it hits him like a freight train, jarring him where he sits, he wants _Dean_. He needs _Dean_. He needs Dean inside of him. 

  
He shivers at the thought of it, it seems so bad, he's not supposed to think things like that. But now he is. He can't help it. Looking down at the man beside him, he can't help but trace the lines of muscle with his eyes, think of how strong Dean is, how good his arms would feel wrapped around Cas' stomach if he took him from behind. 

  
Cas lets out a low whine and, before he can stop himself, he's reaching down to palm himself through his panties. After that, he can't stop. He leans back on one arm and rubs himself, thinking of Dean pressing his long, thick length inside. He dips his hand inside his panties and wraps his hand around his erection, working himself for real now, throwing his head back and gasping. He's almost there, almost to the edge, when he hears Dean shift beside him, and a sleep-clouded voice says,

“Cas?” 

  
The voice does it, a reminder that Dean is right there, solid beside him. He bites his lower lip hard as he comes, splattering the stuff up his stomach. He expects to feel relief, to feel that odd want wan and the shame rear its head, but it doesn’t. In fact, it just gets worse. He needs _Dean_ , he remembers. Not his hand, _Dean_. Dean will make him feel better, he always does. Dean is good, strong, sweet, alpha. 

  
There's a moment, a split second, where he's afraid. He's out of control, barreling toward the unknown and he feels small, like a child. For a moment, he's back at the Center. Everyone is bigger than he is, he has no control over anything, he's in pain. Then, as fast as it came, the feeling is gone, replaced by that terrible want. Dean is looking at Cas' spent dick, mouth open a little, hunger in his eyes. 

  
“Alpha.” Cas whines, because he needs Dean _now_. Dean's eyes snap up to Cas', surprised, and Cas realizes that he hasn’t called Dean “alpha” in years. Now, he wonders why not. 

  
“I need- need you.” Cas tells him. It doesn’t come out quite the way he wants it to, because he's having trouble thinking, but he feels like he gets his point across. There aren’t really very many ways Dean could take that statement at this point. 

  
Dean swallows, pushing himself up into one elbow. “What are you...” He trails off. 

  
“I _need_ you!” Cas reiterates, reaching down to pull at his spent dick, somehow hardening again already.

  
“I- I’ll get Kevin.” Dean stutters, starting to sit up. 

  
“No!” Cas yelps, leaping onto Dean's chest. He needs to make Dean see, he has to make him _understand_. “I need you inside me! I _need_ it!” 

  
Dean's hands come up to grip Cas' hips, and for a moment Cas thinks that the man is going to throw him off, but he doesn’t. He does nothing. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath through his mouth. 

  
“Cas,” He starts. “Y-you're not thinking straight, alright? There's- there are some toys Kevin brought, I'll just-”

  
“No!” Cas growls. “I don't want _toys_! I want you!”

  
“C- I can't- okay, alright, I’ll help you.” Dean says finally. “Just let me up for a second.”

  
Cas frowns at him, he's not sure Dean isn’t planning on leaving and going to get Kevin. He needs to make sure Dean comes back. But how? He thinks for a second before reaching behind himself, feeling down Dean's stomach, and finding Dean's dick. He's hard, and Cas feels the bottom swelling up with a knot. He gives it a squeeze, and Dean groans and throws back his head.

  
“Promise you won't get Kevin.” Cas says, working his hand back and forth.

  
“Ah, fuck! Y-yeah, I promise. I fucking p-promise! Jesus christ!” Dean spits. 

  
Satisfied for the moment, Cas stills his hand and rolls off of Dean.  
The man lays there for several long moments before finally sitting up. He looks over long enough to give Cas a look that's equal parts hunger and frustration, before going to stand. He stumbles a bit, because it's dark and he probably doesn’t have much blood in his head. He makes his way to the corner of the room, picks something up, and brings it back. When he drops it on the bed Cas sees that it's a plastic bag, and a quick inspection reveals that it holds the aforementioned toys. Cas feels like crying. He doesn’t want some fake knot in him, he wants Dean! Why doesn’t the man understand? He closes his eyes, but it's too late and he feels tears slips out between his eyelids. 

  
“Hey, whoa, what's wrong?” Dean asks, voice gentle now.

  
“I don't want a _fake_ knot! I want _your_ knot!” Cas sobs. There's a part of him that knows he's being childish, that there's no reason for crying, but it's overshadowed by a feeling of being so incredibly _overwhelmed_. He doesn’t understand all the things he's feeling, he doesn’t like some of the things he's feeling, but he's feeling them anyway. He has no choice, and he doesn't _want_ this stupid heat, but it's happening anyway. So he cries, and he says it's for one reason, but it's for every reason. He's crying because of everything. He still feels empty, still aches to be filled, he's still hard, still wet, still horny, but he's also scared. He's so scared and he doesn’t know how to express it, so he sits there and he sobs.

  
“Hey, hey, it's alright.” Comes Dean's voice. The bed dips, and Cas feels Dean's body, warm beside him. He leans into it, tucking his face into Dean, and he feels Dean's hand on his back. It's big and cool and it makes Cas feel safe, but also it makes him want to cry more at the same time and he's not sure why.

“I got'cha, bud, it's okay. I'm here.” 

  
Cas grips the edge of Dean's shirt, balling his hands into fists and trying to get a hold of himself. The need is still there, though. Always there. 

  
He looks up at Dean, wiping tears from his cheeks. “Please?” He whispers. “I need it. Please?”

  
Cas watches Dean's adam's apple bob as he swallows, and everything is quiet for a while, Cas waits for Dean to decide.

  
“Lay down on your back.” Dean says finally. 

  
Cas goes to the middle of the creaky bed and lays down, letting Dean push a pillow under his hips and ruck his nightdress up to his chest. Then the man is slipping off Cas' panties and the slick-soaked pad and tossing them to the floor. He’s gently pressing Cas' legs open, and Cas closes his eyes, ready for whatever happens next. At least, he thinks he is. But he gasps in surprise when something wet flicks at his sensitive hole, and when he opens his eyes, Dean has his head down between Cas' legs. It's his tongue, Cas realizes with a start, as the man begins to lick earnestly at his opening. Cas bites his lip and  puts a hand over his mouth in an attempt to stifle the moans that force their way out. It's not exactly what he needs, it's not a knot, but _oh_ does it feel good. So good. Dean is lapping up slick and licking tenderly at Cas' rim and the boy can't think of a single thing he's ever experienced that's as good as this. Then Dean's tongue is pressing in, past that tight ring of muscles, and he's inside.

  
“Oh!” Cas gasps. “ _Oh_!” He reaches down and grasps Dean's hair where it peeks out from between Cas' legs. “Please, please!” He moans, he's not even sure what he's pleading for but, somehow, Dean seems to know. 

  
A finger works its way gently in beside the tongue and, after a while, a second. When the third finger is pressed inside, the tongue disappears. Cas has already come a second time, it's pooling there on his stomach, but he's hard again and he's beginning to think that the fingers aren’t going to be enough. The thought has barely crossed his mind before something else is pressing against his hole, something harder and thicker. He looks down, expecting it to be Dean's dick, but it's not. It's a long, purple dildo with a fake knot on the end. For a moment Cas is angry, so frustrated that it's not Dean's, so sure that a fake won't do the trick, but then it presses inside and, well, maybe he's wrong. It feels so good, fills him up so well, pressing against sensitive places deep inside him. Dean begins to work it back and forth slowly, and then he's sucking Cas' dick into his mouth and existence narrows to this moment. Nothing else has ever happened to him before, Cas is certain, and nothing will happen after. Everything exists in this moment, and nothing at all. When Cas comes for the third time he arches his back and groans and lets Dean swallow his seed down, and, finally, he feels sated. Dean starts to pull the dildo out, but Cas stops him with a hand on his arm, he wants it to stay in him, filling him up. 

  
Cas starts to reach for Dean's pants, wanting to do _something_ , but the man stops him. When he thinks about it later, he'll realize that Dean's eyes are full of something that looks like guilt, but he doesn’t think about it now. He snuggles up next to Dean and lets his afterglow rock him to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so, mpreg.  
> I got a lot of very excited "yes"s and a lot of very firm "no"s. So I think what i'm going to do is i'm going to continue writing the story without it for now, but once Cas gets a bit older i'll mark a place where you _can_ stop if you want, where the story could plausibly end if you don't want to read further. Then, after that point, i'll put mpreg. That way if you don't want it, you can stop before it.  
>  How does that sound to you guys?


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is so short & sorry if it's not up to par. I've had a really rough couple of weeks, mentally, and I didn't write at all until tonight. So hopefully it's not too bad and hopefully you guys will forgive me for making you wait so long for this scrappy chapter. There are probably some typos.  
> Very sorry.
> 
> **WARNINGS:**  
>  This chapter contains mentions of past rape. Not graphic at all, not even referred to as rape, but I thought I'd mention it.

When Castiel wakes he's momentarily confused. He isn’t laying in his bed, and he's all achy and odd. It's only when he rolls over and sees the back of the couch that he remembers everything. Everything. He promptly buries his face in his pillow, hoping to smother the mortification. It's at this point that he remembers he wasn’t alone in bed last night. He quickly sits up and looks around, but the other side of the bed is empty. In fact, it looks like someone tried to make just the one side, the blanket is smoothed out and tucked in over there. The room doesn’t smell of slick either, or heat-scent, it smells like fa-breeze, and one of the windows is flung open. When he looks around, Cas doesn’t see his panties on the floor, or the bag of toys from last night. Dean must have cleaned them up, he thinks. And, with that thought, his heart lifts.   
Dean. Dean took care of him last night. Cas can't help the smile that bubbles up on his lips at the memory. Dean was so gentle, and none of what he had done had been frightening like the boy thought it would be. It had been good, and careful, and... loving. And it really did feel very nice. Cas' dick perks up at the memory, but Cas just takes a deep breath and rolls to the side of the bed. 

He slips out from under the covers and swings  his legs down to the ground, pulling down his shift where it got bunched up around his stomach during the night. He has to pee, but he wants to see Dean first. This is the first time in what feels like days that he's been clear headed, and he wants to talk to Dean while it lasts. 

  
He can hear movement in the kitchen, but when he comes in it's only Meg and Anna, getting out the things to make breakfast.

  
“Cas!” Meg says, startled to see him standing there. She starts forward, but stops a few feet from him, not sure how to proceed anymore since her friend has entered this strange new phase of his life. 

  
Anna, on the other hand, has no such worries. She hastily sets down the carton of eggs she's carrying and runs to her brother, barreling into him and wrapping her arms around his stomach. 

  
A sharp pain shoots through Cas' middle, but he just grits his teeth and says nothing, not wanting to spoil this moment with his sister. When he comes back to himself he holds a hand out toward Meg too, and she comes hesitantly to wrap her arms around him as well. The three of them stand there for a while, until Meg pulls back, brushing something from her cheek with the back of her hand.

  
“We were worried about you.” She says quietly. “We wanted to wake you up but Dean said you'd need your rest.”

  
Cas perks up. “Where _is_ Dean?” He asks.

  
“Work.” Meg explains. “I guess he thought you were well enough for him to leave.” She shrugs one shoulder.

  
The happy bubble that's been growing in Cas' chest deflates suddenly, popped by harsh reality. He can't believe Dean left without even saying goodbye. Actually, he can't believe Dean left at all. He'd been under the impression that the man was going to stay for Cas' whole heat. Now who will help him through it? Cas swallows hard, already feeling his headache coming back on. 

  
“Oh.” He says. “Alright. Well, I- I might go lay back down.” 

  
Anna is looking at him strangely, but Meg doesn’t seem to notice that there's something wrong. 

  
“Well you don't smell so strong today.” The brunette says, sniffing the air. “You can go back up to our room if you want, so you can have your bed. Just keep the window open.”

  
Cas nods and gives a small smile. “I think I will.” He says. He turns to leave.

  
“I'll bring food up to you when it's done.” Meg call after him. “You just relax!”

  
Cas trudges slowly down the hall, heart heavy. He makes a stop at the bathroom to relieve his bladder, and finds the bag of toys sitting next to the sink. They're all clean and dry. Cas almost takes them, because he'll probably need them today, but he can't make himself grasp the bag. He doesn’t want to use the toys on his own. He wants Dean to be there, he wants Dean to touch him, he wants-

  
He stops, splashes his face with water, and leaves the bag there. 

  
Once he's back in his room he pulls a book off of the shelf and slides under the cool covers on his bed. He sits there and tries to read for a long time, but his mind keeps drifting back to why Dean left. Did Cas do something wrong last night? Had he been too needy? Too demanding? Should he have insisted on reciprocating? He doesn’t know, and Dean isn’t here to ask, and it's eating Cas up. He can't concentrate, and he's feeling weaker and weaker by the second, headache returning with a vengeance. 

  
He hears the rest of the house wake up, voices and footsteps echo down the upstairs hall, and about a half hour later the door opens. 

  
Meg comes in, a tray of food in her hands and Kevin on her heels. She sets the tray down carefully over his lap and he thanks her, chewing slowly on a piece of bacon. 

  
“How are you feeling?” Kevin asks, sitting down by Cas' feet.

  
Cas shrugs. He doesn’t feel great, but he supposes he's felt worse and he doesn’t want to complain. Kevin, though, isn’t having this.

  
“You've got to tell me.” He says, not unkindly. “Otherwise I can't help you.”

  
Cas sighs. “I have a headache, and I feel all shaky again.”

  
Kevin nods. He produces two little blue pills from his leather bag and sets them next to the mug of tea on Cas' tray. Then he leans forward and presses his hand to Cas' forehead, feeling the temperature.

  
“Hmm.” He hums. “You don't feel _too_ warm. You'll probably feel an increase in your libido again soon though, do you have the toys?”

  
Cas ducks his head in embarrassment. “They're in the bathroom.” He mumbles.

  
“Did you use them last night or this morning?” Kevin asks.

  
“Early this morning.” Cas whispers, face burning.

  
“Were they adequate?”

  
Cas nods, not meeting Kevin's eye. The man doesn’t seem offended though, he pats Cas on the shoulder. 

  
“I know it can be embarrassing.” He says. “But all omegas go through it, it's perfectly natural.”

  
“Doesn’t feel natural.” Cas grumbles.

  
“Nevertheless.” Says Kevin. “Take those pills, they'll help the pain. I'll bring the toys up in just a minute.” He gives Cas a kind smile, and he leaves.

  
Cas takes the pills and eats his breakfast slowly, savoring the eggs and bacon as his headache subsides. Whenever Meg comes to take the tray away, Cas thanks her and anxiously asks, “Has someone been taking care of my bees?”

  
“Anna has been doing it.” Meg tells him. “Don't worry, we're taking care of everything.” 

  
He smiles and she gives him a kiss on the forehead. 

  
It's a half-hour later before Cas hears footsteps coming up the stairs again, and he assumes it's Kevin coming to bring him the toys, but it's Charlie who peeks her head in.

  
“How you doing, champ?” She asks, sidling in and depositing the bag of toys next to Cas' bed, before sitting at his feet.

  
Cas shrugs. “I've been worse.” He says.

  
She gives him a look. “You can be honest.” She says. “I know how it is, i'm not going to think you're complaining. Your first heat is hell on ice, when I got mine I honestly thought I was dying.”

  
Cas gives her a small smile. “It... it hasn’t been fun.”

  
“I'm sure it hasn’t been. The pain sucks and the nausea sucks and, honestly, the horniness sucks.”

  
Cas swallows and nods, trying not to think about everything that happened last night. 

  
“You're pretty lucky though, considering.” Charlie continues. “You've got medicine, a safe place to stay, people who care about you.”

  
Cas looks down at his hands, stomach churning. Maybe he had people who cared about him before, but what about now? Is there one less? Maybe Dean was just reacting to Cas' pheromones, maybe he doesn’t want the omega that way, never did. Maybe he feels disgusted by everything that happened last night, maybe that's why he left. Maybe the experience soured him and now he doesn’t like Cas at all.

  
Cas blinks back tears, turning his face away from Charlie, hoping she doesn’t see. But it's Charlie, of course she sees. 

  
“Oh, hey, what's wrong?” She asks, reaching out to card her fingers through Cas' hair. 

  
He shakes his head, unwilling to spill the thoughts that plague his mind. 

  
“Come on, you can tell me.” 

  
Maybe he can. Maybe she'll understand. He doesn’t have anyone else to talk to.  
“I...” He starts.

  
She leans forward just a little, and the words get caught in his throat.

  
“I can't, I’m sorry.” He covers his eyes with his hand, not wanting to a look of disappointment or disapproval.

  
“No problem, man.” He hears her say after a moment. “Just- I’m here if you want to talk, alright?”

  
“Okay.” Cas whispers.

  
“Do you want me to go?” She asks.

  
Cas thinks for a moment, then shakes his head, and holds out his hand to her. She comes to sit next to him, and he leans into her warmth, resting his head on her shoulder. She smells warm and clean and he feels wonderfully safe. He falls asleep.

 

 

Cas wakes to the slam of the front door, it sends a shock through the house that jolts him suddenly from a fitful sleep. Beside him, Charlie looks up from a book she's been reading. Cas hears a greeting, then the rumble of a voice that's unmistakably Dean's. He tenses, immediately flooded with uncertainty, anxiety, and want. He misses Dean, he wants him here instead of Charlie. Not that there's anything wrong with her, he loves Charlie, of course, but he wants Dean. On top of this, Dean's voice sends a jolt of arousal to Cas' groin, and he can feel the strange feeling from last night coming back. That terrifying mixture of need and hunger. He can feel himself getting hard in his panties despite his efforts to think of other things. 

  
“Ah,” Cas says, sitting up, swallowing over and over again. “I think I-”

  
“Oh!” Charlie replies, smelling his arousal. “Next wave already? I'll just leave you too it then.” She stands and goes to the door. “Have fun!” She says, wiggling her fingers at him before she shuts the door behind her. 

  
Cas wants to call out to her, tell her to send Dean up, he needs Dean. He doesn’t though, he doesn’t say anything as he listens to her footsteps echo down the hall. Very suddenly he's burning up, slick leaking from him onto the bed beneath and he's so incredibly ashamed of his own body. He puts his face into his hands and he sobs, because he's hot and he's horny and he has a headache and he's ruining another set of sheets and he can't control any of it. This stupid, awful thing his body is doing may have ruined one of the best relationships he's ever had, he's not sure how exactly, but he's sure of it. His stomach is churning and he feels like he's going to throw up and this, mixed with the arousal curling in his gut, is one of the worse things he's ever felt.   
Breathing heavily, he reaches for the bag next to the bed. Laying down makes him feel even more sick, but he does it anyway. He feels around in the bag, hand grasping something with a fake knot. He doesn’t even look at the toy he grabs, it doesn’t matter. He doesn’t want this, he hates it. Bile rises in his throat as he presses the toy inside, and for a moment he lets himself imagine that Dean will rush in and take Cas into his arms, declare that he never should have left, and claim Cas as his own. It's only a very brief fantasy, and it leaves Cas feeling even worse, because Dean doesn’t come. He can almost hear the rumble of the alpha's voice coming up from the floor below, but it doesn’t come closer, it doesn’t ascend the stairs to his room, doesn’t gather the omega up. Cas can't help the sob that rips through him and he begins to rock the toy back and forth, because he aches and he feels so desperately lonely. 

  
Cas comes twice, then vomits into the trashcan next to the bed. He's left feeling hollow and dizzy, but no longer horny. Sadness wells in his throat and tears gather behind his eyes and he can't help it, he turns and weeps into his pillow. There's a part of him that still hopes that maybe there's been a misunderstanding and Dean will come up to his room soon and hold Cas and everything will be alright. But Dean doesn’t come and Cas cries himself back to sleep.

 

-o-

 

Dean sits on the edge of his bed, head in his hands. He has the lights off. Guilt has been resting heavily on his mind all day, and it has left him with an awful headache. He's constantly pulled between thinking that he shouldn’t have left this morning to go to work, he should have stayed and fixed his own mess, and thinking that he should have gone further, left for longer. Because now he's back and he feels the same as he did last night, yesterday, the day before, last year. He still yearns for Cas, aches for the boy, and he's too young, he's it heat, it's wrong. But he wants it just the same. So he should have kept going, he should have just driven away and stayed in a motel someplace until Cas' heat was over, so that he's not tempted to take advantage of the boy again. 

  
Dean tastes vomit at the back of his throat when he thinks of last night, of the things he did. His stomach churns with guilt. He was supposed to take care of Cas, look after Cas, keep Cas safe, and instead he'd used the boy's vulnerable situation to act out his own sick fantasies. 

  
He digs his fingernails into his scalp until his hands shake, gritting his teeth.   
Cas didn’t come down for supper, Meg brought it up to him, and Dean's heart had ached, because he misses the boy. He's accustomed to seeing him in the kitchen when he comes home from work. But he's also glad that Cas didn’t come down, because Dean can't face him. Not after last night. He can't face what he's done. He needs to go and apologize, he knows. He needs to sit down with Cas and let him know that it was a big mistake, it won't happen again, he can trust Dean. But Dean doesn’t go to Cas, he doesn’t leave his room, because if he sees the boy he'll want to touch again, to claim, to take. He can't do it again, he can't take advantage of that trust again. 

 

-o-

 

Dean doesn’t come to say hello to Cas that night, or the next morning when he leaves for work again, and Cas spends the day curled into a ball of sorrow and self-loathing in between bouts of extreme horniness. He doesn’t eat any of the food Meg brings him, he just can't make himself care about it in the face of everything else. The lack of food just makes his heat symptoms worse though, and by the afternoon he's weaker than ever, dizzy and shaking with an awful headache. Kevin comes up to gently reprimand Cas for not eating, Anna sits with him for a while, gently combing his hair and giving him those annoyingly knowing looks. Meg comes up a few times, but she seems awkward and leaves quickly. Hael sits on Cas' lap for a while, small head resting on the bigger boy's chest. She tells him stories and babbles on about the lizard she saw in the driveway this morning. Inias and Gadreel show up every once in a while to ask if Cas needs anything, but they don't stay. They distract Cas for a while, but it's not enough to keep his mind off of his problems, and he soon sinks back into despair. 

  
Eventually, Charlie comes to see him. He doesn’t notice her standing in the doorway at first, he's curled up in a ball with his eyes closed. But there's that feeling of being watched resting heavily on him, and when he opens his eyes, she's there, hands crossed over her chest, frown marring her face. 

  
Cas doesn’t say anything, just blinks up at her, and she doesn’t say anything either, not for a long time. After several long minutes, Charlie pushes herself away from the door-frame and crosses the room to sit next to Cas' prone figure on the bed. She leans over him and touches his clammy face gently, before drawing back. 

  
“You look like Frodo in Return of the King.” She tells him.

  
He squints up at her, confused.

  
“You look like shit.” She clarifies. “No ring, so what's your excuse?”

  
Cas turns his face into his blanket. “You're mean.” He accuses. 

  
“You haven’t been eating. We're all worried about you.”

  
“I'm just not hungry.” Cas lies, pulling the blanket up to cover his face. 

  
Charlie reaches up and pulls is away, making Cas whine. “Don't give me that.” She says. “Something else it wrong, isn’t it?”

  
“No.” Cas says firmly.

  
Charlie looks at him for a long time. Finally she looks away. “My first heat,” she starts, “Was probably the worst week of my entire life. I didn't know what was happening. The people that owned me weren't, well, they weren’t _bad_ people, necessarily. They weren't really cruel on purpose. But I was small, and skinny. Malnourished. I almost died during the first stage, and then I was so weak. When I started producing the mating pheromones I couldn’t protect myself, I was too small, and there was no one who cared about me enough to protect me.” Cas watches as she rubs absentmindedly at the numbers inked into the pale skin of her wrist. “I left as soon as my heat was over. Just ran right out the door and didn’t look back. It was stupid, I was an omega kid and I didn’t know anything about the world. How I didn’t end up dead... I still don't know.” She lets out a long breath.

  
“Why are you telling me this?” Cas asks quietly.

  
Charlie shakes her head. “Thought it might help. I don't know whats bothering you,” She admits. “but whatever it is, I’m not going to judge or... anything.” 

  
Cas bites his lip, overwhelmed by mixed feelings of gratitude and guilt.  
“I...” He starts, and when he looks up, her eyes are kind, they're understanding. He squeezes his own eyes shut tightly. “I think I seduced Dean.” He whispers. “And now I ruined everything and he hates me.” He waits for a long time for her to say something, but there's nothing but silence. Finally, he cracks one eye opened to find her gaping at him. 

  
“You're joking.” She says.

  
Cas shakes his head, tears gathering again behind his lids. He knows he probably shouldn’t, but he tells her what happened last night. He tells her everything. 

  
At the end of it, she asks, “So then, you do like Dean...?”

  
“I love Dean.” Cas tells her.

  
“In what way?”

  
“In every way.” He says earnestly.

  
“Huh.” She says.

 

-o-

 

Under normal circumstances, Dean doesn’t mind his work. If he's left to work at his own pace he might even say he likes it. Yesterday had been terrible though, because of the guilt, and today is no better. The tremendous weight that rests on his shoulders is weighing him down and by the time he gets home he feels like shit. He's planning on kicking off his shoes and and then resolutely avoiding Cas again, and so he's not prepared when Charlie ambushes him in the front hall. He hasn't even gotten both of his shoes off before she's pulling him to the back of the house. 

  
Dean whines as they pass the kitchen, where Anna is making dinner.   
Finally, once she's sure no one else is around, Charlie stops and turns to Dean. Her eyes are hard and determined and suddenly the man is very worried.

  
“Dean,” She says. “You need to talk to Cas.”

  
Dean blinks, praying that his face doesn’t betray the torrent of emotion that floods suddenly through him. “What, why?” He asks innocently.

  
Charlie gives him an incredulous look. “Because you can't just have heat-sex with someone and then ignore them, assface!”

  
“We did not!” Dean yelps. He takes a second to try and get his emotions back in check. It doesn’t work, but he does manage to lower his voice. “We did not have sex, Charlie! There was no sex! No penetration. None!”

  
That's not the point and he knows it. If it were that simple, he wouldn’t have felt this guilty since it happened.

  
Charlie puts her hands on her hips. “Fingering counts as sex too, Dean.” She says. 

  
Dean's stomach drops. So she knows, then? Cas told her. She'll think he's a sicko now too. Dean brings his hands up to press the heels against his achy eyes.

  
“Fuck.” He says. “I'm so fucked up.” He steps backward until he feels the wall against his back, he leans heavily against it before sliding down. “God, I fucked up. What was I thinking?”

  
He moves one hand to look up at Charlie, who is staring impassively down at him. “I can't believe I did that to him.”

  
Charlie sighs heavily. “Look, I think you should talk to him.”

  
Dean shakes his head. “I can't.” He says. “I can't do it.”

  
“He needs you, Dean.”

  
“He doesn’t. I took advantage of him, I’m the last person he needs.”

  
“Well, you're who he wants.” Charlie tells him. “And you need to let that kid know that everything is okay. He's blaming himself for everything, thinks you hate him now.”

  
Dean lets his hands drop. “What? Why would I hate him?” 

  
“How about you go talk to him and find out, I’m a terrible middle man.”

  
Dean thinks for a while. “He really wants to see me?” He asks.

  
“He really does.” Charlie tells him. “He needs reassurance, he needs care.”

  
“But-”

  
“No buts,” Charlie interrupts. “I know you feel like you messed up, so fix it now. Don't leave it until things are too late.”

  
She leaves then, slipping silently down the hallway before Dean can protest.   
Fix things. He has to fix things. He stands slowly and runs a shaky hand over his mouth. He can do this, of course he can. 


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if Gadreel's speak seems a little formal, I was trying to match the way he spoke in the show but I don't know if that makes sense.

It's late, the room is dark. There's a small amount of moonlight filtering in through the open window, but not enough to see by. Cas can hear Meg and Anna breathing in the bunk above, Anna having opted for the top bunk again to give Cas privacy for when the next wave of heat hits him.

He's been trying to sleep for hours, but he can't seem to calm his mind long enough to even get close. He's just been laying here looking out the window and thinking about how everything is ruined.

The house is quiet, and Cas hasn’t heard anyone moving around in a long time, so he notices right away when he hears a quiet creak in the hallway. He's not afraid, doesn’t think for a moment that it might be an intruder, it's someone who lives here, he's sure. He hears more creaks, moving slowly down the hall until he sees a shadow under the door. Then, slowly again, the handle turns, and the door is pushed inward. Cas feels a thrill of fear for a moment as he takes in the dark silhouette that stands in the doorway, but when he takes a breath he smells that it's only Dean, although his scent is a little off.

Cas doesn’t move. He stares up at the shadow, and Dean doesn’t move either. Dean hasn’t been in to see Cas or check on him and he's feeling hurt and angry, as well as guilty.

“Cas?” The man whispers after a time.

Cas pushes himself up onto his elbow, acknowledging, but not responding.

Dean takes a step back and gestures with a hand for Cas to follow.

The omega sits up then, and gets slowly out of bed, because he'll always follow Dean, no matter what. He must do what he can to mend the situation. He pads after Dean as the man walks down the hall and the stairs, bare feet sliding against the smooth wood. Dean slips out the front door, quiet as a whisper, and Cas follows, closing the screen door silently behind him.

The air outside is still, and the din from the crickets and frogs helps drown Cas' anxiety a small amount, but he still gets a chill even though it's so warm out that sweat is already beginning to pool in the creases of his elbows. Dean is sitting on the second porch step, hands crossed over his knees, staring up the darkened drive. Cas goes and sits gently beside him, smoothing his night dress down over his bare legs. He says nothing, and neither does Dean. They sit side by side in silence listening to the night creatures.

There's a smell riding on Dean's exhales that seems a little familiar, and it takes Cas a while to place it, but when he does he feels a jolt of fear. It's alcohol, and he remembers vividly the last time Dean got drunk. It had been the time Cas ran away.

He takes a deep breath, musters what little courage he has, and asks, “Have you been drinking?”

Dean frowns. “Only a little.” He promises. “Just enough to... I just wanted to talk to you, and I didn’t think I’d be able to otherwise.”

There's a long silence again as Cas thinks this over. Why would Dean need alcohol to talk to Cas? It doesn’t make sense. Unless he's going to tell the boy something very bad. A knot of anxiety begins to form in Cas' stomach.

Dean sighs and runs a hand through his hair. “The other night...”

Cas leans forward, terrified, but also eager to know.

“was a mistake.” Dean finishes, unable to feel the way Cas' insides have frozen over at his words. “I shouldn’t have done what I did and... I’m sorry. It wasn’t your fault, it was mine. I just... I think the heat smell got to me. I won't- I wont ever do anything like that again.” He doesn’t look at Cas, he continues looking straight ahead.

Cas shakes his head, trying his best to hold back the tears that suddenly threaten to force their way out of his eyes. A mistake? No, it wasn’t a mistake, it was wonderful. But he can't say that, Dean doesn’t want to hear it. A mistake. Just a mistake. Cas doesn’t say anything. If he does, he's afraid he'll start crying. He doesn’t say “yes, I agree”, he doesn’t say “no, you're wrong”, he doesn’t even acknowledge that Dean said anything at all. He gets to his feet and silently walks back into the house. He leaves Dean there on the porch in the dark.

When he gets back to his room, Cas allows himself to cry into his pillow, as quietly as he can. Another wave of his heat hits and he has to relieve himself while choking back sobs and he thinks that it's the most humiliated he's ever felt, even though nobody can see him.

 

-o-

 

Telling Cas that the night Dean helped the boy through his heat was a mistake is one of the hardest things the man has ever done, even with a couple shots of whiskey to smooth the way. It's true though, he hadn’t meant for any of that to happen. He's not sure if he regrets it or not, but if he does it's only because Cas hadn’t been in his right mind. Of course, a boy as beautiful as Cas would never want Dean that way if he were in his right mind. But now he has apologized and things can go back to normal, back to the way they were before, when Dean pined after Cas in silence and everyone was mostly happy.

The talk hadn’t exactly gone as he'd expected. For one thing, there hadn’t really been a talk. He'd apologized and then Cas had immediately left without a word. No accusations, no questions, nothing. Just got up and left. But at least he knows that Dean is sorry. At least he knows it was Dean's fault. That's better, isn’t it? Of course it is.

So why does it feel different? Why does it feel so much worse?

It has been several weeks since Cas' heat and Dean's regrettable decisions, and things are strained. Cas is much quieter now than he has been in years. He spends most of his time now in the garden or with his bees, he doesn’t look Dean in the eye. He doesn’t go to the market with Dean on Sundays anymore. And Dean... well, he deserves that, but he also hates it. Cas is withdrawing, and he misses the boy. He misses Cas' smiles and laughter, misses his sunshine.

 

-o-

 

Cas is fine. Really, he is. He's taking everything one step at a time and there are whole hours of the day now where he doesn’t feel like crying. He can't spend time with Dean, though. He can't look at him, can't stand to see his face. It's not because he's angry, it's because every time he looks at the man he remembers that Dean doesn’t love him back, and then he feels like someone has punched him in the chest. He doesn’t eat with the family anymore, he just can't stand it. He stays in his garden, pulling weeds or laying mulch, and he's proud to say that his plants are doing better than ever. His bees, too, are getting a lot more attention lately, and if he does everything slowly he can make his chores last all day, and he doesn’t have to see Dean, because Dean never seeks Cas out.

 

It's three o' clock, and Cas is in the garden. He has been since six this morning, and his hands are discolored, brown and green from the dirt and the weeds he's been pulling. Dirt is packed underneath his fingernails, cracked and torn from neglect. He takes a moment to frown at them before going back to his work.

He hasn’t eaten all day, and he's feeling a little shaky. Dean is at work, so really Cas could go in and get something to eat, but he's not sure he really wants to because nowadays he gets a lot of weird looks from the other omegas in the house. They range from confused to pitying to knowing, and Cas can't stand any of them. He feels bad about it, he really does, he doesn’t mean to shut them out but he doesn’t feel like this is something he can talk to any of them about. Anna, in particular, has seemed honestly hurt that Cas hasn’t confided in her, but he just can't bring himself to do it. She's got those big, innocent eyes and he feels so dirty and sad, he doesn’t want to infect her with it.

He sighs and looks up at the side of the house. Does he want to brave it today? After thinking for a bit, he figures he'd better. He stands slowly and makes his way to the back door on unsteady feet. He slips past the art room where Anna, Hael, and Inias are undoubtedly making a big mess, past the stairs and the living room where he can hear Gadreel fiddling with something or other. He makes it to the kitchen, sighing with relief when he sees that it's empty.

He goes quietly to the refrigerator and sets about making himself a ham sandwich. He has the bread and ham out and he's getting the mayonnaise when his hands start shaking again, worse this time, and he's suddenly very dizzy. He throws a hand out to steady himself but misses the counter by a wide margin. He feels himself falling but there's nothing he can do, he just feels a sudden blinding panic right before he smacks his head hard into the stone counter top. His hands spasms and he drops the jar. It hits the floor and shatters with an odd, muted sound that reminds Cas of explosions underwater.

Cas' head _hurts_. He really can't tell where he hit it because the entirety of it is throbbing with some sort of awful rhythm that he then realizes is his heartbeat. He can feel his heartbeat in his head. Fuck, it hurts. When he finally opens his eyes he sees that most of the entire kitchen floor is covered in mayo and glass, and Gadreel is standing in the doorway with his mouth twisted into a frown, looking in at Cas sitting there in his dirty dress. It's too much. It's all too much. Then suddenly he's crying, sobbing, messy and gross into his hands. Everything hurts, everything is terrible, and Cas can't stop crying. The worst thing is that Gadreel is seeing this, and everyone else probably will too. It's the most humiliated he's been in a while.

But just as he hears the sound of feet and the questioning warble of Meg's voice he hears Gadreel say, “I just dropped something. No, no, it's alright. I've got it.” and there's no more sound. No voices, no footsteps closing in, no anything. So Cas just lets himself cry until he can't anymore.

When he's finally finished, when there are no more tears left, Cas wipes the skin under his eyes with his palm and looks up. Gadreel is still there, sitting in the doorway of the kitchen, facing outward. He's not watching, but he hasn’t left either, and Cas feels a pulse of gratitude. He waits a few minutes until he feels like his face is probably less splotchy before he clears his throat.

“Thank you.” He says, throat still scratchy with emotion.

Gadreel turns his head, just a little, and nods. “I'll help you clean up the mess when you're ready.” He says somberly.

“Okay.”

And then he does. Gadreel helps Cas clean up the whole kitchen, carefully picking up all the little bits of glass and wiping up all the mayonnaise in silence until the floor is spotless. Gadreel helps Cas into a chair and the kitchen table and tells him, “Stay there.”

Then he proceeds to make Cas that ham sandwich, minus the mayo, and set it down on the table in front of him.

“Eat it.” He tells Cas.

The younger boy just stares at it. He's not really hungry anymore. He's not really... anything.

Gadreel nudges the plate closer to Cas. “Go on.” He says.

“I don't feel like eating.” Cas tells him.

Gadreel is frowning again. “You came in here to make a sandwich in the first place.”

“I just...” Cas starts, but he doesn’t know what else to say. How can he explain?

“You need to eat. Even if you don't feel like it. You have to keep yourself going.” He's very insistent, and finally Cas gives in, pulling the plate to him and ripping bits of the sandwich off slowly. When he finishes the sandwich Gadreel gives another solemn nod. “You should eat regularly.”

Somehow, Cas finds the strength to roll his eyes. “Yes, thank you, you're a medical genius.” He says.

At this, to Cas' endless surprise, Gadreel smiles one of his odd, tight-lipped smiles. “You're being sarcastic.” He says, seeming weirdly happy about it.

“Well, yeah.”

“It's been a while since you've been sarcastic.”

Cas huffs a hollow, humorless laugh. “I'm becoming a model citizen.”

“Your wit has been missed.” Says Gadreel.

Cas stops short at this. He and Gadreel aren’t terribly close, Gadreel is quiet and closed off and Cas was under the impression that, at the very least, the older omega wasn’t overly fond of him.

Gadreel, seemingly reading Cas' mind, smiles again. “We look up to you.” He says. “All of us.”

“Me?” Cas asks, confused.

“You are so strong.” Comes the answer. “And kind. We're taught that omegas should be weak-willed, docile, seen and not heard. You're the opposite of everything we're told we must be, and yet you're still standing. It gives us... hope.”

Cas blinks slowly. “I'm not- I mean, I... I'm just me. I'm not trying to be some symbol, I just want to live my life.”

“Of course. That's what draws us to you. You've been subjected to the same abuse as the rest of us, and yet you harbor no anger or particular resentment. You're still _good_.”

Cas shakes his head. “I was lucky. I went through so much less than the rest of you.”

“And yet more than many others.” Gadreel points out. “Abuse is abuse. The suffering of others does not cancel out your own.”

Cas looks down at his hands. “I probably haven’t been much of an inspiration lately, huh?”

Gadreel reaches over and pats Cas awkwardly on the arm. “There will always be dark times. But we are your friends, remember that. You are not alone is this, we all know what it is like to be hurting, and we wont judge you for it.”

“I just... I'm having a hard time.” Cas says lamely.

“Perhaps you should ask the doctor.” Gadreel suggests.

“You mean Kevin? Why?”

“Sometimes we need medicine for up here as well.” Gadreel taps his temple with one long finger.

Cas feels heat rushing to his face. “I'm not crazy.” He protests.

“I was not suggesting that you were.” Gadreel answers calmly. “Your brain is an organ, it too can require medical attention. Sometimes you just need a little help.”

Cas picks at his fingernails, cracked and peeling from the lack of proper nutrition. “Isn't that kind of, I don't know, cheating? I always...” He swallows. “I thought I was stronger than that.”

Gadreel furrows his brow. “If your leg was broken, would you continue to walk on it?”

Cas shakes his head.

“It is the same.” The older boy continues. “Continuing to walk on a broken leg would not help the leg, it would only cause you pain and harm the leg further. It would not be considered bravery or strength to refuse help, and it isn’t now either.”

Cas just looks at him, stunned and a little confused. “I wouldn’t even know what to ask for.” He says finally.

“Tell Kevin how you're feeling.” Gadreel explains. “Just see if there's anything he can do.”

“Okay.” Cas says in a small voice. Then, “Thank you.”

They sit there for a while, then Anna comes into the house to start supper and Cas leaves, but not before giving her a hug.

 

The next time Kevin comes to visit Cas comes up to him, wringing his hands, and asks, “Can I talk to you in private.”

Kevin says, “Of course.” and they slip out to porch, ignoring the curious looks they get from the rest of the family. “Is there something wrong?” He asks.

Cas sighs, sitting down on the worn top step and pulling the hem of his dress down to cover his knees. “I just- I’ve been having some- some trouble and I thought maybe... you could help me?”

“Trouble?” Kevin asks, sitting down on the step next to him. His eyes flit over Cas' face and shoulders, trying to find the problem.

“It's not- I’m not _hurt_.” Cas explains, although it feels like a lie. “I...” He picks nervously at the skin around his fingernails. “I'm _sad_ ” He says finally. “All the time, and I can't make it go away. I feel so heavy and I... I don't feel like eating or reading or _anything_ really. It's hard to make myself do the most basic things, like showering. I hate it, but I can't seem to pull myself out of it. Is... is there anything you can do.”

Kevin looks at him for a long time, before saying, “You know, I have to say I'm surprised that you brought this up at all. You don't usually ask for help.”

Cas ducks his head, a little embarrassed. It's true that he doesn’t like to ask for help. He doesn’t want to be a burden. “Gadreel suggested it.” He admits.

“Smart boy.” Says Kevin. “I'm glad you brought this up, depression is a serious matter. In any case, I think I can help, at least a bit.” He stands, dusts off his pants, and offers a hand to Cas, who takes it and stands easily. He follows Kevin into the house, and then the kitchen, where the man's big black bag sits on top of the kitchen table. Kevin opens it and begins to rifle through, pulling out Ziploc back and jars full of herbs.

Anna is in the kitchen, watching the goings on curiously, and Cas avoids her gaze. Kevin pulls out a set of measuring spoons and begins to measure various herbs and pour them into an empty jar. When he's finished, he caps it, and hands it to the waiting omega.

“You can drink this as a tea.” He tells Cas. “Two tablespoons to three cups of water. I would suggest you take it first thing in the morning, but taking it more often won't hurt anything.” He smiles at Cas and lowers his voice. “If you need to talk, I’ve always got time.” He says.

“Thank you, I’m alright.” Cas lies. He doesn’t want to talk, though.

Kevin sets about putting the rest of the herbs back into his bag, and Cas hears heavy foots. When he turns, Dean is standing in the doorway, frowning.

“What's that for?” He asks, nodding at the jar cradled in Cas' hands.

“Headaches.” Cas lies quickly before Kevin can speak, hoping that the doctor won't say anything about it. He doesn’t want Dean to know... anything. This is the first time that Dean has initiated conversation with him in days, and Cas feels an unexpected stab of anger, drowned quickly by a fog of sadness.

He clutches the jar to his chest and lowers his eyes from Dean's face, because it hurts to look at him.

“Thank you, Kevin.” He says, slipping out of the room. He goes quickly down the hall and out the back door. He sits in his garden for a long time as the sun sinks lower in the sky. He breathes deeply of the night air as the moon rises high and crickets begin to chirp. He watches lightning bugs for a while, flitting across the landscape, blinking lazily. He waits until he thinks Kevin has gone and everyone is asleep before he goes back inside, sneaking through the house like a ghost. He slips silently into bed and falls asleep with the jar of herbs under his pillow.

 

The next morning Cas wakes while it's still dark. He didn’t sleep much but, then again, he never does anymore. Despite the fact that he's tired all the time he can't seem to stay asleep for more than a few hours at a time. This does make it easier for him to get up very early though. He slips a pale blue shift over his head and takes his jar of newly-acquired herbs down to the kitchen. He sets his big metal teapot to heat on the stove and sits down at the kitchen table to wait. He looks out the window, at the dark sky, at the dew-soaked grass, and he knows that it's beautiful, but he doesn’t _feel_ anything. Before, he would have felt something, some emotion. Wonder, maybe, or awe. He would have been overcome, but now he feels nothing. This isn’t what he wants, he doesn’t want to go through life not feeling, not being overwhelmed by the beauty of things.

When the water is done he pours it into a large mug along with the herbs, inside an infuser. He slowly sips the tea, trying to savor it, identify each taste. He definitely tastes chamomile but he's not really sure what else. He drinks until he hears someone begin to stir upstairs, then he leaves out the back door to work in the garden.

He doesn’t feel much different that day, or the next, but the day after that, Thursday, he does feel a little better. On Friday, Cas actually feels well enough to eat breakfast with the others, who seem shocked, but pleased. Dean even smiles at him, and Cas doesn’t feel quite as sick to his stomach as he usually does. After that, though, he goes out to his bees.

Cas works in his garden at dusk, once it's cooler. He works and he works, guided by the light of the moon, until the night becomes morning, and Cas begins to doze. After a while he lays down on the grass. It's just for a moment, he thinks. He only wants to rest his eyes for a little bit, then he'll get back up. He closes his eyes, and almost immediately falls asleep.

 

-o-

 

Saturday morning, Dean wakes to someone shaking his shoulder. He groans, opening one eye. Meg is standing over him.

“Wake up!” She demands.

“Ugh.” Dean complains. “What do you want?”

“Cas didn’t sleep in his bed last night. I don't know where he is.”

Dean sits up, suddenly very awake. He needs to know where Cas is, that he's alright. “Where have you checked?” He asks.

“He's not inside the house.”

Dean is up in seconds, pulling a pair of dirty jeans on over his boxers. He follows Meg out into the hall and then out into the yard. Dean, Meg, and Gadreel search around the surrounding area, calling out Cas' name over and over. Anna stays at the house with Inias and Hael.

Gadreel is searching near the woods and Meg is looking around the pond when Dean goes to the garden on a whim. He doubts Cas is there, if he was just gardening surely he would have heard everyone yelling for him. Dean looks around the garden and he's about to give up when he catches a glimpse of out-of-place purple among the tall green tomato plants. Coming closer, he sees a foot, a leg, a thigh. Dean gives a sigh of relief when he steps closer and Cas comes into view, curled up on the ground, fast asleep. The boy's skin is damp with morning dew, one side of his skirt is bunched up to his hip and Dean can see the edge of a pair of white panties. He kneels down on the earth next to Cas, reaching out to brush his thumb over the damp skin of the omega's thigh before he can stop himself.

“Cas,” He says softly, moving his hand away from Cas' thigh, to his shoulder. “Cas, buddy, wake up.”

Cas mumbles incoherently, and gives a sleepy little moan, high and breathy. His eyes flutter open and he looks around, confused and quickly becoming frightened.

“W-what? Where am I?” He asks, panicked.

“Hey, hey, it's okay.” Dean soothes, rubbing his hand up Cas' arm. “You fell asleep outside, you're in the garden.”

Cas' eyes flit around, to the tomato plants, the sky, to Dean's face. Slowly, he relaxes, panic replaced with sleepy calmness. “I only meant to-” He cuts himself off with a yawn. “To lay down for just a minute.”

“You want to come inside?” Dean asks.

Cas nods, and then he does something that Dean hasn’t seen him do for a while now. He smiles.

Dean's heart swells. He's missed this, the soft upward curve of Cas' lips, the small dimples that dip in his cheeks. _God_ he missed this. Cas raises his arms and it takes Dean a few moments to realize that he wants to be picked up. Dean closes his eyes for a moment, swallows, and takes a deep breath. He's shaking a little as he scoops the boy up, but not enough for Cas to notice, thankfully, because he wants this back so painfully. The smiles and the carrying and easiness of it all. To have one of these moments back, even for a short time, makes him feel wonderfully overwhelmed.

On his way back to the house, he meets Meg, gesturing for her to talk quietly, because Cas is already dozing again, head against Dean's chest.

“Fell asleep in the garden.” Dean tells her, quietly.

She rolls her eyes and goes off to tell Gadreel. She looks a little frustrated, but mostly she looks relieved.

Dean carries Cas into the house and up the stairs, down the hall, and into his shared room. When he goes to lay the boy down in bed though, he wakes up and grasps Dean's shirt, refusing to let go.

“No.” He grumps, sleepily. “Stay.”

Dean looks down at this sweet, perfect creature, and knows that he will do absolutely anything Cas wants. Anything at all. As long as Cas isn’t on his heat, because Dean can't take advantage of him again, he can't. But Cas isn’t on his heat right now, and he wants Dean to stay, so he will.

But, “Your bed hurts my back, buddy.” Dean tells him.

Cas pouts. “I'll sleep in your bed then.” He mumbles.

He's still got a death grip on Dean's shirt, so the man just picks him back up and carries him to his own room. He sets Cas down on one side of the bed and pulls the covers up over him, then shucks his jeans before sliding in as well. He's still wearing boxers, so he figures it's alright. As soon as Dean is under the covers Cas snuggles right up to him, yawning and smacking his lips, resting his head on Dean's chest. Dean slips an arm around the boy and pulls him close, elated to have him here again after such a long absence. He cards his fingers through Cas' hair for a while, breathing in his sweet scent, and falls asleep easily with the little omega snoring on his chest. Just how things should be.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay soooooooo  
> This chapter has some fluff, and some happy Cas, and some sex (agian, not penetrative, but still sexy stuff). So I hope you guys like it, let me know if you spot any errors!
> 
>  **Warnings for this chapter**  
>  Some sexy stuff but not penetration, it's toward the end of the chapter and it's pretty easy to tell when it's about to start, honestly, so I don't think anybody will be startled by it. But just in case, here's this note warning you about it.  
> Well, that kinda got away from me.

 

 

 

 

Cas is aware of a warmth under his cheek, of the steady blub of a heart, very close. He keeps his eyes closed, his breathing steady, for a long time while he thinks. He remembers, in a vague, dreamlike sort of way, the events of very early this morning. He remembers Dean smiling down at him, haloed by the pale, thin light of the moon. He remembers being carried, his face pressed into Dean’s chest, breathing in that sweet alpha smell that makes him weak in the knees. Now there’s the weight of an arm over his back and that smell is engulfing him, making him feel better, calmer, than he has in a long while.

The arm moves, trailing Dean’s fingers up Cas’ back to his shoulder, leaving goosebumps in their wake. Dean is awake, and Cas isn’t sure what to do. Should he wait, continue to feign sleep, or should he open his eyes and face Dean?

In the end, the question doesn’t matter, because Dean huffs a breath that ruffles Cas’ hair and asks, “You awake?”

“No.” Cas lies.

Dean laughs, but the sound fizzles out almost immediately after leaving his mouth. Cas hears him swallow.

“I miss you.” The alpha says.

Cas closes his eyes, this isn’t fair. It’s not okay how weak Dean can make him with three little words. He wants to say, “I miss you too.” but the words turn his stomach and burn in his throat. He sits up quickly and swings his legs off the side of the bed, but before he can stand a hand is reaching out and taking hold of his wrist.

“Cas,” Dean says, quietly. “listen to me. Please? For for a minute.”

Cas says nothing, he stays facing away from Dean, very still. But he doesn’t move away either, or break Dean’s hold on his wrist.

“I handled this badly.” Dean says. “I don’t- I’m not good at this. You know I’m not. I just…” He’s quiet for a moment. “I think I ruined our relationship, and I’m sorry. I didn’t want that. I never… that’s the last thing I wanted.”

Cas looks down at his lap. This is, simultaneously, the very thing he wants to hear and, also, the last. It makes his heart lighter but, then, none of this is Dean’s fault, and Cas can’t let him think it is. Cas sighs and shakes his head.

“It isn’t your fault. I could have controlled myself, I wasn’t _totally_ out of it. I just… didn’t want to. You… you smell very good and I just- I was selfish. I only thought about what I wanted. I’m sorry.”

He stops speaking, and everything is quiet, very quiet. Dean isn’t saying anything, but his grip on Cas’ wrist grows tighter. Cas closes his eyes, stomach roiling with self-doubt, but the silence just grows longer and louder and heavier until he can’t stand it anymore. He twists back around to face Dean, and finds the man halfway sitting up, staring at him with an inscrutable look on his face. Cas thinks it’s caught somewhere between pain and surprise, but he can’t be sure.

“You… you wanted that to happen?” Dean whispers.

Cas ducks his head, heat flushing his cheeks, and nods.

“Oh.” The man breathes. “Oh. You don’t- you don’t hate me?”

Cas looks up, surprised. “Of course not.” He says fervently. “I could never hate you.”

Then, to Cas’ endless surprise, Dean lets out a bark of laughter. He sits the rest of the way up and reaches out to grab Cas by the shoulders and pull him into a hug. Cas stiffens, not at all sure what’s going on.

“Dean?” He squeaks.

Dean just pulls the boy closer, burying his face in the omega’s shoulder. He mumbles something.

“What?” Cas asks.

Dean pulls back a bit, his face is flushed red and he’s chewing nervously on his bottom lip. “I said I love you.” He whispers. “The night of your heat… I had been wanting to do that for a long time. I’ve wanted _you_ for a long time.”

Cas’ eyes grow wide as he takes in this new information, his heartbeat speeds, racing along at a breakneck pace, his stomach continues to churn with nerves. Dean wanted him. Dean wants him. He can’t think, he can’t speak, he’s not even certain he’s breathing right now.

Dean’s eyes are searching, he moves his hands up to cup Cas’ face, brushing his thumbs gently along the boy’s cheeks.

Somehow, Cas chokes out, “I love you too.”

Dean’s face splits into the biggest smile Cas has ever seen. His eyes crinkle at their corners, his cheeks dimple beautifully. He’s the most gorgeous person Cas has ever seen.

He leans forward, slowly, and brushes his lips very gently to Cas’, pulling back almost immediately, giving Cas the change his mind. Cas is breathless. Dean has never kissed him on the lips before and, as brief and light as the kiss was, it still felt like he was melting. This time, he closes the distance, throwing his arms up around Dean’s neck and presses his lips to Dean’s. Dean hands wrap around Cas’ waist, and he pulls the boy to him, as close as he can get as he peppers kisses to the omega’s pink lips. Cas is drowning, being pulled further and further downward and he doesn’t care, he never wants to come up for air. A knot of desire grows in his belly, spreading out and pulsing in his veins, filling him.

Eventually, the kisses slow, and when they pull apart they’re both smiling, but there’s a nervousness between them that’s never been there before. Cas feels… shy. He folds his hands in his lap and looks down at them, twiddling his thumbs together.

“So…” He says.

“So…” Dean replies. “We should… go eat breakfast?”

Cas looks up at him, at his flushed cheeks. The alpha is nervous too. “Yes.” He says finally. “I’m hungry.”

They walk downstairs side by side, casting happy, nervous glances at each other every few seconds. Everyone else is already awake and in the kitchen, sitting around the table talking while Anna finishes up pancakes. There aren’t two open chairs next to each other, so Dean and Cas end up sitting on opposite sides of the table. They both very carefully avoid the others’ eye, certain not to let on that anything is different, but they’re both smiling and when Dean passes the syrup he brushes Cas’ knuckles with his fingertips, and Cas sees Anna watching the two of them suspiciously.

After breakfast Cas goes about his chores, feeling better than he has in a long time, better even then when he drinks Kevin’s tea. The bees seem to sense it, they’re especially chipper thing morning, buzzing about cheerily as Cas moves among them, humming happily. When he goes back to the house, Meg is waiting for him at the back door, leaning against the frame with her arms crossed over her chest.

“What’s going on?” She demands to know as soon as Cas is within arm’s length.

“Huh?” Says Cas.

“Don’t “huh?” me, Clarence, you know exactly what I mean.” She pushes herself off of the frame and takes a step toward him. “You’ve been down in the dumps ever since your heat. This morning you slept in Dean’s bed and now you’re chipper as a squirrel! What gives?”

“Are squirrels particularly chipper?” Cas asks.

Meg purses her lips and gives him a look. “Don’t avoid the question.”

Cas huffs, frustrated. “If you knew I was feeling so bad, why didn’t you say anything? Why didn’t anybody?”

Meg’s face softens into something sheepish, something guilty. “We thought if you wanted to talk, you’d talk.” She shrugs. “You’ve never been very good at accepting help.”

Cas bristles. “Yeah, well, thanks for all the support.” He says sarcastically.

Meg frowns and looks down. “I’m sorry.” She whispers.

And, just like that, Cas isn’t mad anymore. How can he be? Meg has been his best friend for years. He knows when she’s sincere, and she is now. Anyway, it’s not as if he’s been a model friend either, he’s been keeping quite a few secrets from her lately.

“It’s okay.” He says finally.

When she looks up again her eyes are watery, and he can’t help leaning forward and wrapping his arms around her. She melts into the hug, leaning her head against his shoulder and sighing.

“I’m a bad friend.” She says into his shoulder.

“Me too.” Cas replies. “I’ve been keeping things from you.”

Meg pulls back, wiping her eyes hurriedly. “Like what?” She asks. She doesn’t seem angry, just curious.

“I’m… well, I’m sort of… in love with Dean.” Cas mumbles.

Meg rolls her eyes. “Well _duh_.” She says. “We all know that.”

“… Excuse me?”

“Yeah, everybody knows that the two of you have been, like, in love or whatever forever.” She states.

“But… no! No, we just- I mean we just talked about it this morning I…” He trails off. “This is a new development.” He insists

Meg raises her eyebrows, but she doesn’t argue. “Alright, sure.” She says, but Cas thinks it sounds patronizing.

“ _Anyway_.” Cas says. “Something happened. During my heat we sort of… had sex.” Meg looks nonplussed, so he continues. “I mean, we didn’t _really_ have sex. There was some, you know, other stuff. But I guess not sex, technically. But there was _stuff_. Sex type stuff. And then there was some miscommunication and we both thought the other hadn’t wanted it to happen and it was kind of awful and- aren’t you going to say anything?”

“Wait a minute.” Meg says slowly. “You’re telling me that you guys _weren’t_ already sleeping together?”

“What?! No!” Cas exclaims. “Where are you getting this? Seriously?”

Meg hold up her hands. “Okay, fine, calm down.”

Cas pouts. Not only does Meg have all the wrong information, now none of his news is news to her. “Well then I guess you won’t care about what else I was going to tell you.” He says, a little petulantly.

He moves to step around her but she reaches out and catches his arm.

“No, wait.” She pleads. “I’m sorry. This is big news for you, so it’s big news for me.”

Cas frowns for a minute, but finally decides to tell her after all. “Well, we worked it out and… he kissed me.” He can’t help the smile that grows on his face when he thinks about it. It sneaks up on it and he can’t force it back down. Meg smiles too.

“Good.” She says. “I’m glad it worked out. And I’m glad you’re feeling better.”

Cas nods. “Me too.”

They sit on the back step for a long time, talking, until Anna pokes her head out.

“Hi, Anna.” They chorus.

Anna gives a little wave and comes to sit down on the other side of Cas on the step. She leans into him, resting her head on his shoulder. Her silky hair falls over Cas’ chest and he kisses her on the head. He thinks, for a moment, about how she looked when she first came here. She was terrified, sickly, worryingly thin. Her hair had been sparse and brittle, she’d had bruises and burns and scars. She still has the scars, of course, and the number on her wrist will be a reminder her entire life of everything she has run from, just like Cas’ is for him. But she’s so healthy now, so much bigger and stronger. She might not speak, but she’s so expressive, and she can communicate if she has a mind to.

Pride washes over Cas, and he runs his finger through her hair. He’s so proud of his little sister, so proud. He wraps his arm around her, and the three of them stay there, for longer than they probably should.

 

Cas stands in front of Dean’s bedroom door, heart trying to beat right out of his chest. He’s terrified, and excited. The hall is dark and silent, only his shadow accompanies him here and now. He takes a deep breath and raises his hand to knock at the door, as quietly as he thinks he can get away with. Nothing happens. He knocks again, just a little louder. This time, he hears movement after a few seconds, footsteps.

The door swings open, and Dean is there, blinking blearily at him.

“Cas?” He mumbles. “’s everything okay?”

Cas twists his hands together anxiously, avoiding Dean’s gaze, talking quickly. “Oh, yes. I just, um, well I- I was having trouble sleeping. Anna- Anna is snoring and I thought maybe… I could sleep in your bed with… you?”

They both know that there’s an empty bed in the other room, and that Cas would be just as comfortable there. The excuse is a thin veil, but what does it matter, really?

Dean’s eyes are wide, and he opens his mouth only to close it again a few times. Cas knows how he looks, standing in the moonlight hall in his little white nightdress, he knows how this looks. He’s not nearly as innocent as everyone seems to think. He knows he looks ethereal, and that sometimes ethereal can be just as good as beautiful.

“I dont know if that’s a good idea, Cas.” Dean says quietly. But he’s holding his hand very stiffly by his side, as if he wants to reach out and touch, and his tone is anything but certain.

Cas tilts his head to the side, reaching down to fiddle with the edge of his nightdress absentmindedly. “I just want to sleep, that’s all.” He says, innocently.

Dean looks down at the floor, rubbing at the back of his neck. He lets out a long breath, and looks back up. He swallows, and Cas knows what he’s going to say before he even says it.

“Okay. Yeah, sure. You can, um… I mean, I- I think I’ve got enough pillows.” He rambles, taking a step back from the door to let Cas through.

Cas steps through the doorway, brushing his shoulder against Dean’s side, and he’s been here before countless times but this time it’s different. This time _he’s_ different. He sees things differently. The air is thick and heavy with expectation, Cas can feel his nervousness frost in the air when he breathes.

Cas goes to the bed, pretending to be calm, and climbs in on the side Dean doesn’t sleep on. He does it very purposely, knowing the way his nightdress will ride up his legs when he gets into the bed. He looks at Dean, still standing by the open door, and pats the comforter beside him.

Dean comes over slowly, sliding into bed carefully, as far away from Cas as possible. Cas rolls his eyes.

“I’m not going to bite, Dean.” He intones.

“Heh, yeah.” Says Dean.

Cas lays back, and Dean does too, and they’re quiet for a long while, content in each other’s presence.

“What do you think about when you’re trying to go to sleep?” Cas asks after a while.

Beside him, Dean shifts. The blankets rustle quietly.

“I don’t know.” Dean answers. “The day. All the stuff I did, all the stuff I’ll do tomorrow.”

Cas frowns, even though Dean can’t see it in the dark. “That doesn’t seem like stuff that would help you sleep.”

“No, it’s nice.” Dean insists. “Kind of planning my day is nice.”

“Okay.” Cas says skeptically.

“Why, what do you think about?”

“Lots of things.” Cas tells him. “I think about music sometimes, or books that i’ve read. I think about Anna, Meg, all the kids. I think about you.”

“You think about me?”

“Yes.” Cas says. “You’re a good person.”

Dean sighs. “I don’t know about that.”

“Of course you are.” Cas insists. “You’re the best person I’ve ever met.”

“Well, to be fair, you haven’t met very many.”

“Dean.” Cas says sternly.

“Cas.” Dean responds. “I’ve done… a lot of bad things. A lot. Not the least of which is having sex with a fourteen-year-old.”

Cas huffs. “I wanted you to. And would you stop talking about it like it was a bad thing, you’re ruining my mood.”

“Jesus, when did you get so bossy?”

“I don’t know, when did you get to be such a downer?” Cas retorts.

“You know, this really isn’t how I thought things were going to go.”

“Oh? How did you think things were going to go?” Cas asks.

There’s a moment of silence and then Dean says, “Well, for starters, I kind of thought we’d be kissing by now.”

“Are you done beating yourself up about it then?”

“For now.” Dean says.

Cas sits up. “For good.” He says sternly. “I’m tired of trying to guess whether or not you actually want this.”

Dean sits up too, Cas hears him shifting around. “I do.” He says. “I just… it feels like taking advantage. You’re so young. Maybe you only _think_ you want this.”

“Lots of alphas mate with their omegas when they’re young.” Cas tries.

“ _Bad_ alphas.” Dean reminds him. “Alphas who don’t… care.”

Cas turns his head to look at Dean then. It’s still very dark, but his eyes have adjusted enough that he can see Dean’s shape. Cas feels an overwhelming surge of affection. Dean, despite what he might think, is a good man. A good alpha.

“I know you care.” He whispers. He sees Dean reach up and scratch at the back of his neck and he takes this moment to lean forward and press his lips to Dean’s cheek. Of course, he can barely see, so he ends up more in the jaw region, but that’s alright. Dean turns his head and captures Cas’ lips with his own, gently.

Dean’s lips are soft where they brush against Cas’ own, coaxing them open bit by bit. His tongue flicks teasingly along the rise of Cas’ lower lip, and it’s such an odd sensation. What’s even weirder is when he parts his lips and Dean licks eagerly inside his mouth, tongue pushing and flicking along Cas’ own. It should be gross, Cas muses dazedly, having someone else’s tongue inside his mouth, but he feels only arousal.

Cas moans into Dean’s mouth as the man’s hands come up underneath his legs, and the man lifts the boy up easily, moving him to sit on his lap. Cas can feel Dean’s erection against his thigh, separated from his skin by only the thin fabric of the man’s pajama pants. His hands come further up Cas’ legs, pushing aside the nightdress, traveling up his smooth skin until they’re resting lightly on the globes of Cas’ ass.

Slowly, gently, Dean squeezes. Cas gasps, gripping Dean’s shoulders tightly. This is not like last time, not at all. Last time he’d been in a haze, and he’d been frightened. Things had been moving too fast, and not fast enough, all at once.

This time, everything is wonderfully, achingly clear. He feels everything, every movement, hears every sound. He feels the callouses on Dean’s hands scratch at his skin, his fingernails drag agianst the insides of Cas’ thighs. His skin tingles when Dean slips his fingers under the elastic of Cas’ panties and pulls them down beneath his ass, his heart nearly beats out of his chest when he feels them wander between his cheeks.

Dean removes his tongue from Cas’ mouth long enough to nip at his lower lip and asks, “What do you want?”

“Fuck me.” Cas gasps. “I want you inside me.”

“Jesus Christ!” Dean chokes. “Going a little fast there, aren’t you?”

Cas shakes his head vigorously. “I want it.”

Then, with almost no effort, Dean has twisted them so that Cas is laying on his back, and Dean is hovering over him. His lips are millimeters from Cas’, his breath puffs against the omega’s mouth.

“I’m not gonna fuck you.” He says.

“Yes you are!” Cas growls, rolling his hips up so that his pelvis presses against Dean’s, bringing their erections together. Dean drops his head to Cas’ shoulder.

“You don’t always get whatever you want, you know.” He says shakily, nipping at the sensitive skin of Cas’ throat.

“Yes, I do.” Cas gasps, gripping Dean’s shoulders so tightly that he can see the skin around his fingertips turning white.

Dean pulls away, he hovers a few inches above Cas, so that Cas can still feel the heat rolling off of the alpha’s skin, but they’re no longer touching.

“Dean!” He whines.

“Yeah, Cas?”

“ _What_ are you doing?”

Dean shrugs.

“Stop it!” Cas insists.

“Quit being a brat.”

“Oh my _god_!”

But Dean isn’t serious, and he’s grinning. He swoops down to kiss Cas again, and the omega huffs into his mouth.

“You’re such a jerk.” He grumps.

“I’ll make it up to you.” He says.

He kisses Cas’ neck again, trailing his tongue down into the hollow above his collar bone. With his hands he pushes Cas’ panties the rest of the way down his legs, and his nightdress up to his chest. He trails wet kisses down Cas’ belly, over his hips, across his thighs.

Cas closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, overwhelmed by the sensation of Dean’s stubble scratching the sensitive skin of his inner thigh. It’s for naught, because all of his breath leaves his body when Dean takes Cas’ erection into his mouth, sucking it down, swirling his tongue around the tip, down the shaft. And sure, Dean has given him this once before, but Cas was a bit out of it then, and it’s wonderful to be able to experience it fully this time around. It’s too much, and he comes quickly, but this time when he asks to reciprocate, Dean lets him.

They switch positions and Cas slots himself between Dean’s legs and pulls his pajama pants down his legs. They get tossed off the side of the bed, as well as Dean’s boxers. Cas’ isn’t really sure what he’s doing, but he figures it’ll be easier without anything in the way at least. Staring down at Dean’s dick is… a little terrifying. It’s big and veiny, red and swollen and nestled amidst a thick thatch of dark pubic hair. It’s nothing like his own. His seems miniscule in comparison.

Although is shouldn't be, this is new. He remembers, vaguely as if from a dream, the dummy from the Center, but this different. This is Dean. It doesn't feel the same, it's not the same. That dummy wasn't his alpha, it wasn't looking down at Cas the way Dean is now. He's at a loss, he feels awfully, wonderfully virginal. He lowers his head and he licks, cautiously, at the bead of pre-come pearling at the tip. It’s a little bitter, and the taste sticks on his tongue oddly, differently than the come-substitute had, but it isn’t bad. Emboldened, he takes it in hand and tries licking it from bottom to top. He likes the warmth of it, and Dean’s skin doesn’t taste bad at all, not like the plastic aftertaste of the dummy. When Cas finally takes the tip into his mouth and tries sucking on it, Dean bites his lip and closes his eyes for a moment. He opens them back up quickly though, and watches as Cas tries to fit his dick into his small mouth. It’s wonderfully obscene, the way his pink lips stretch wide the man’s erection, and Cas feels like this is definitely an important event in his life.

Cas sucks slowly, trying his best to keep his teeth out of the way. He’s not really sure what to do, but he tries to replicate the swirly thing Dean did with his tongue earlier. He’s rewarded with a long groan from the alpha, and then a gasp. Suddenly he’s got a mouthful of come, and he’s pulling back, trying not to spit it out because it’s kind of nasty but he doesn’t want to get it on the floor or the bed. More splatters on his face and the front of his nightdress.

“Shit! Fuck- sorry!” Dean curses. “That kinda got away from me there.” He sits up to try and wipe some of it off of Cas’ face, but that just makes things worse because then it’s on his hand. He ends up wiping his hand on Cas’ nightdress, to the boy’s dismay, but then it’s already soiled so they go ahead and use it to wipe up the rest of it. After that, Dean slips the dress over Cas’ head and tosses it onto the floor.

“Come here.” He says, leaning back on the pillows and opening his arms. Cas goes, nestling into the space between Dean’s arms. He’s naked and they’re both sweaty and kind of gross, but it’s nice. It feels… good. Cas feels safe in Dean’s arms, loved, cared for, and the orgasm wasn’t bad either.

“You have to fuck me next time.” Cas yawns.

“When did you get such a dirty mouth?” Dean asks sleepily.

“Fuck you.” Says Cas.

Dean kisses him on the forehead and pulls him closer, breathing in the smell of his hair.

“G'night, Cas.” Dean mumbles.

“Goodnight Dean.”


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise I really didn't mean to leave it on a cliffhanger this time. I just ran out of time. 
> 
> **WARNINGS FOR THIS CHAPTER**  
>  \- Some sexual themes but no sex
> 
> That's pretty much it.

There’s a snap to the morning air, despite the fact that it’s 80 degrees outside, and it feels like renewal, like a beginning. Cas wakes before Dean, wrapped in his arms, and he’s never felt so safe in his life. It doesn’t matter what’s happened before, what will happen years from now, what matters is that Cas can hear Dean’s heart thrumming beneath his ear. It’s strong and loud and Cas can almost feel his own heart jumping to match it.

  
Never before has Cas had the chance to watch Dean this way. The light from the window washes over his face, highlighting the crease next to his eye, throwing shadows beneath from his lashes. His freckles light up in the sun, like little stars, and Cas reaches out to touch one, unable to help himself.   
At the press of Cas’ finger on his cheek, Dean stirs, shifting a little in his sleep, but he doesn’t wake. There’s something about in face relaxed with sleep, something vulnerable and sweet. 

  
Cas lays back and sighs, things are good. He’s laying here, naked, in Dean’s bed. With Dean. Yeah, thinks are good. 

  
Eventually though, he gets bored, and he can’t exactly leave because the clothes he brought with him last night are covered in… well… they’re covered in come. So he can’t go walking around in those and he can’t go walking around naked so there’s really nothing for it, he’s got to stay here until Dean wakes up and they can figure something out. He supposes he could wake Dean up but… he might also be using this as a little bit of an excuse to snoop. He’s curious, so sue him. And yeah, he’s been inside Dean’s room before, but things between them are different now and somehow that makes everything else different too. He wants to know more. 

  
Slowly, quietly, he slips out from underneath Dean’s arm and off of the bed. He pads silently around the room, looking at the old watch on Dean’s end table, the snow-globe on the dresser, the books on the bookshelf. Surprisingly, a lot of people seem to think Dean isn’t very smart, and this frustrates Cas to no end. Of course Dean is smart, if people got to know him they’d see it clearly. If they saw his bookshelf, there would be no doubt. Dean’s bookshelf is so full that some books are stacked on top of others, and they’re clearly not for show, they’re all well-loved, read over and over again. There’s Vonnegut and Tolkien, Conan Doyle, Stephan King, Douglas Adams and Lovecraft. Cas runs his fingers over the spines of them and he can practically feel Dean’s energy humming within them, happy and cared for. 

  
Cas is feeling the urge to sigh happily again when there’s a feather-light touch at his hip. He stills, breath freezing in his throat, and the touch turns into a hand, an arm, that curls around his waist. He can feel the warm line of Dean’s naked body against his back as the man presses close to him. 

  
“You’re up early.” Dean says, pressing dry kisses to the back of Cas’ neck.

  
“I’m always up early.” Cas replies. 

  
Dean’s other arm is around Cas now, and he’s pulling them flush. Cas lets out a small gasp when he feels Dean’s hardness press between his cheeks. 

  
“You’re up early too.” Cas says a little breathlessly.

  
“I sure am.” Dean grinds his hips a little. 

  
“Very funny.” Cas huffs. He’s tempted to press back into Dean’s erection, but then something catches his eye. It’s a book in the corner of the shelf, blue and very worn. It looks familiar. Cas reaches out and plucks it from its place. The cover has him shivering, it’s an omega training book. _The_ omega training book. The one that Cas brought with him from the Center. It’s amazing how one book can bring back so many horrible, awful memories. It’s like touching it has taken him back through time, and he almost drops the thing just so he doesn’t have to touch it anymore.

  
“Why do you have that?” He asks, putting it quickly back on the shelf.

  
Dean is quiet, his thumbs rub gentle circles against Cas’ hip bones. “You remember when you first came here, don’t you?” He asks, finally.

  
Cas nods, of course he remembers. How could he forget? Finally being out of that place, away from those people, he’d been rescued from a hell he didn’t even realize he was in at the time.

  
“I wasn’t a good person back then.” Dean says, Cas starts to interrupt, to argue, but Dean just presses a kiss to his hair and continues. “I wasn’t. I thought I knew how things were. I’d been taught so many things my whole life and I just assumed they were true. And then… well… things changed. I found out that I was wrong about a lot of things. In the beginning, though, it was still sometimes hard to remember who the bad guys were. This book,” He taps the cover of the omega training manual, “helped me remember. That shit’s not right, even I new that.”

  
Cas has never read it, never cracked it open. It’s a very real reminder of his old life and he has never wanted anything to do with it, but he’s sure there’s some truly evil stuff in there. He feels, suddenly, an overwhelming rush of gratitude for his current situation. For the man who changed everything for him.   
Cas turns in Dean’s arms and leans into the man, slipping his own arms around Dean’s chest. 

  
“You okay?” Dean asks.

  
“I’m great.” Cas says, muffled, into Dean’s chest.

  
They stand like this for a long while, Dean stoking Cas’ hair, until Cas’ stomach grumbles loudly. 

  
Dean pulls back, running his fingers through Cas’ hair one last time and looking down at him with an expression the omega can’t quite decipher. 

  
“We should go eat.” He says.

  
Cas looks down at himself. “I’m naked.” 

  
“I’ll get you something.” Dean offers. He quickly dresses in his own clothes and leaves to get some of Cas’, coming back a few minutes later with a pair of white panties and a baby-blue, sleeveless sundress. He hands it to Cas, looking a little sheepish.

  
“It’s my favorite.” He admits. “It matches your eyes and I like the way it…” He trails off, averts his eyes, and clears his eyes.

  
“The way it what?” Cas asks curiously, clutching the clothes to his chest.

  
“Ah, nothing.” Dean says, taking a few steps backward.

  
“Come on, tell me!” The omega demands.

  
Dean’s eyes flick up to Cas’ and away. “I like the way it, uh, looks against your skin. It… just…. it looks nice.”

  
Cas grins and bends over to slip the panties on. When he stands back up he finds Dean watching him, but the man immediately looks away when he’s caught.

  
Cas rolls his eyes. “What, now you’re shy about my nudity suddenly?”

  
Dean shrugs. “Seems different when I’ve got clothes on.”

  
“You’re weird.” Cas comments, slipping the sundress over his head. It falls down to about mid-thigh, just covering a purple hickey Cas had only just noticed from the night before. He holds his arms out by his sides.

  
“How do I look?”

  
Dean smiles. “Beautiful.” He says.

  
Cas frowns and shifts his weight from one foot to the other, suddenly more embarrassed then when he was completely naked. 

  
“Thanks.” He grumbles. 

  
Dean laughs. “Go ahead on downstairs, I’ll be there in a minute.”

 

 

Cas slips quickly out of Dean’s room, hoping it’s still early enough that everyone will be a sleep. It seems he’s out of luck though, because he can hear a lot of noise from the kitchen, and he passes Meg coming down the upstairs hall.

  
“Where were you last night?” She inquires, mouth turned up into a knowing smile.

  
“Nowhere.” Cas answers, picking at his nails.

  
“Oh, nowhere?” Meg says. 

  
Cas rolls his eyes. “You _know_.” 

  
“Do I?”

  
“Yes!” 

  
“Hmm, not sure I do.” Meg teases. “Did you go for a walk? Were you out gardening at 2 am? It wouldn’t be the first time. I’m sure I haven’t the faintest idea.” 

  
Cas crosses his arms over his chest. “Well then I won’t tell you. Maybe it’s none of your business, Megan.”

  
Meg puts a hand to her chest. “Oh, it’s “Megan” now is it? That stings, Clarence.”

  
Cas shrugs. 

  
“ _Fine_.” Meg relents eventually. “I think you were with Dean.”

  
Cas grins.

  
“Oh you were!” Meg gasps. “Did you _bang_?!” She reaches out and grabs Cas’ arm. “ _Did you bang_?!”

  
“We did some stuff.” He replies coyly, thrilled that she’s so much interested than last time he tried to tell her about his love life.

  
“Tell me!” She demands. “I want details.”

  
“Gross!” Cas exclaims.

  
“Cas,” Meg whispers fervently. “I never get out of the house. I never do anything. The only dirty stories I get are soap operas and now you are _getting some legitimate action_! Share your joy! Share it with the class! Come on, please!”

  
Cas sighs. It’s a little weird thinking about sharing the dirty details of his budding love life with Meg, but she’s his best friend. That’s what best friends do, isn’t it? Talk about sex and stuff? Cas doesn’t know, Meg is the first friend he ever had. Besides that, she’s right. She never gets to go out, because they don’t know what her father might be up to these days, and they don’t want to risk him spotting her if he’s around. Sure, the Winchester land is vast and beautiful, but it doesn’t supply _every_ kind of adventure. She’s cooped up, bored.

  
“Oh, fine.” He says eventually. “But not here.”

  
She nods eagerly and begins to tug on his arm, leading him down the hall, down the stairs, and out of the house. The end up in the garden, hidden on all sides by towering tomato plants. The air is thick and warm and green and somehow Cas finds it very easy to spill his secrets here. Meg listens raptly, eyes wide, hands clasped under her chin. 

  
“ _Damn_ I’m jealous.” She says after he’s finished. “Someday I’ll have stories too.” She muses wistfully. “Just gotta get out of here.”

  
Cas looks at her with wide eyes, suddenly panicked. He hasn’t heard this kind of talk before, is she leaving?

  
She sees the look on his face and reaches over to pat his arm. “Not yet though.” She amends. “I’m not really old enough. But some day.”

  
Cas nods, saying nothing. He understands why she might want to go, but he secretly hopes she changes her mind before she gets old enough. Before he can finish this train of thought, though, Meg leans forward and wraps her arms around him. 

  
“Thanks for telling me all of it.” She says. 

  
Cas pats her on the back. “No problem.”

 

-o- 

 

The change in Cas is unmistakable, startling. Where one day he was quiet, listless, wan, the next he’s back to his old self. Happy, kind of bossy, mothering anything with a pulse. He still has moments where he seems to drift off, to disappear for a time into his own head, but it’s not too bad. Every time it happens, though, Dean is hit with a crushing wave of guilt, because _he did this_. It’s his fault. His own damn insecurities and inability to communicate like a normal human being have caused that poor little omega a lot of pain, and any pain at all is too much pain for Cas, in Dean’s opinion. He shouldn’t have to go through anything more, not ever. But as hard as he tries to protect Cas, he just keeps messing things up, and then he’s _causing_ the pain, and isn’t that just a bitch? 

  
And this, more than anything else, is why he doesn’t take their new relationship to the next level. Cas wants to, but Dean thinks that they should wait a bit, and eventually Cas begrudgingly agrees. 

  
Somehow, although he personally hasn’t told anyone, news of the new development between Cas and Dean has reached Kevin, Charlie, and even Sam and Jess. Dean gets a lot of talks about responsibility and safety and how he’d better not hurt Cas and he has to say again and again that yes, he _knows_. He even gets a sort of talking to from Anna, although it’s comprised entirely of significant looks and hand gestures. He knows that this is big, that this is important. This thing between them is different than anything else he’s ever done and he’ll be damned if he’s gonna fuck it up now. He’s going to take his time, he’s going to go as slowly as they need to go. 

  
Since everyone knows now, though, Dean doesn’t have any problem holding Cas’ hand around the house, or pulling the omega into his lap when they’re watching television, and it’s so incredibly freeing. Dean has never let himself think about a mate before, he always just sort of assumed he’d end up alone, but Cas is… Cas is everything. Funny and smart and sweet and _good_. He’s grown into such a strong, beautiful boy. He’s everything Dean has ever wanted in a mate and maybe someday… but Dean tries not to think about it. Sure, he’s happy now, things are good now, but maybe they won’t always be. So he holds his happiness as gently as he can, letting it rest in his cupped hands, because it’s so fragile and it could shatter at any moment. 

 

 

The knock on the front door comes in the middle of the week, after supper, and everyone freezes. They’re not expecting anyone, and their friends always call first, so it’s someone unexpected. 

  
Everyone is very quiet when Dean gets up from the living-room couch, footsteps creaking loudly in the silence. When he opens the front door he finds two large men in black suits standing there, looking serious, and his blood runs cold.

  
“Can I help you?” Dean asks.

  
“Dean Winchester?” Says the man on the right.

  
“That’s me.” Dean confirms, wondering if he’s going to regret it.

  
“I’m Agent Brenson, this is Agent Karts, we’re here on behalf of the COC.” They both flash badges. 

  
“The COC?” Dean asks.

  
“The Center for Omega Control.” Says Agent Karts

.   
Dean tries to keep his face blank, but this is bad. This is very bad. “What’s the problem?” He asks.

  
“We’ve been getting reports of an excessive number of omegas around this house.” Agent Brenson replies. 

  
“Reports from who?” No one comes on his land. Just Sam and Jess, Charlie, Kevin, and any omegas who pass through. Has someone been here without his knowledge, or did one of his friends turn him in? No, he decides, they couldn’t have. Sam and Jess are just as devoted to this as he is, and Charlie and Kevin are both omegas, what reason would they have for betraying him? But instead of making him feel better, this realization chills him further, because it means that someone else has been here. Someone has been observing his house enough to notice the amount of omegas. 

  
“Can’t say, sir.” Replies Agent Brenson. “Confidentiality.” He takes a small note pad out of his pocket and flips it open. “So, you mind telling us how many omegas you have living in your house?”

  
“Uh…” Says Dean, counting in his head. He could lie, but they’ll probably do an inspection anyway, so it won’t matter. “Six.” He says. He’s counting Meg, because he doesn’t think they’ll check close enough to see that she’s actually a beta, and he can’t account for an underage, unrelated beta living in his house without raising a few flags. 

  
Agent Karts’ raises his eyebrows sceptically. “Six?” He asks. “And how, exactly, did you manage to acquire six omegas _and_ keep them on a- what was it?” He looks to Agent Brenson. “A mechanic’s budget?”

  
Agent Brenson nods, and Agent Karts turns his gaze back to Dean. “Would you like to explain that to us?”

  
Dean swallows. He’s fucked. Completely and thoroughly fucked. “Well, I, uh, the first one was a gift. I also had a bit of inheritance and, um, they make a lot of goods that I sell at the market.” He says, telling mostly the truth. There was a bit of money his parents left him, yes, but he mostly just payed the property taxes with it.   
By the looks on their faces, it’s pretty clear that the two agents don’t believe the story.

  
“Are you able to produce proof of these purchases?” Asks Agent Brenson. 

  
“Yeah, yes.” Dean lies. “Of course. Just, ah, not right now.”

  
“Not right now?” Agent Karts drawls, unbelieving. “And why, pray-tell, is now not a good time for you, Mister Winchester?”

  
“They’re at the bank.” Dean says. “In a safe deposit box. And obviously the bank isn’t open right now.” He gestures to the dark sky. “So…”

  
Agent Brenson rolls his eyes. It’s completely unprofessional. “Well then, we’ll be back tomorrow.” He smiles humorlessly. “And I expect you to have those papers. You wouldn’t want anyone to think you were up to something illegal here, would you?”

  
“Course not. That’ll be fine. You have a good night, agents.” Dean smiles tensely, and watches as they walk down the porch steps back to their house. He closes the door with a snap and suddenly he’s very, very weary. He leans his head against the door and takes deep breathes, trying to think. How is he going to fix this? He has no proof that he purchased any of the omegas, besides Cas, because he didn’t. These are free omegas, although maybe not for much longer if he can’t figure this out. 

  
“Dean?” Comes a voice from the living room.

  
Dean turns, and finds Cas standing there, looking at him anxiously. It’s pretty obvious that he heard everything that happened. “What are we going to do?” He asks.

  
“I don’t know.” Dean sighs. “I don’t know.”

  
Cas comes closer and puts a hand on the small of Dean’s back. “It’s okay.” He says. “We’ll figure it out.”

  
“I gotta call Sam.” Dean decides. His brother is the smart one, maybe he’ll have some insight. 


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a piece of shit who can't properly proofread, so let me know if you spot any mistakes.

Sam, of course, has a plan. Sam, because he's a genius, has seen this coming. When Dean calls him, panicking, he listens quietly and then says, “Give me half an hour.” before hanging up.

  
Dean spends the next tense thirty minutes pacing the hallway, the kitchen, the living room. Cas stands nearby, wringing his hands nervously. The other omegas and Meg know that something is wrong, but Dean hasn’t told them the extent of things as of yet, he wants to see what Sam will do first.

  
He bites his nails down to the beds as he walks, wearing a trail into carpet. The air is thick and heavy, and Dean can hardly breathe. He keeps imagining that he hears his phone going off, back where he's set it on the kitchen counter, and he goes to check it every fifteen seconds almost exactly.

 

-o-

 

Dean is making Cas nervous, all the pacing and mumbling to himself is making the omega so anxious he thinks he might be sick. He stands in the hallway, leaning against the wall, chewing the inside of his lip until he tastes blood. He can hear the others in the living room, talking amongst themselves. They're afraid. They should be.

  
Out of all of them, Cas has probably had the easiest time. It was no picnic, sure, but he was bought young and Dean has taken good care of him. After being bought he wasn’t starved, beaten, raped, tortured, or treated like garbage, which is more than most of the others can say. He doesn’t like to dwell on it, it makes him so... so _angry_. It boils up inside him until he doesn’t know himself, until he's very afraid of what he might do. Now, thought, he has to think about it, because if Sam doesn’t come through everything good they have going here might end. The escaped omegas might be returned to their owners, who will surely be angry. Meg might be found by her father, Cas might be sent back to The Center, Dean might go to jail. It could all come crashing down around them with no warning at all.

  
Cas sucks in a breath through his teeth, trying to calm himself. Emotion is welling up in his throat, fear and sadness and anger, and it threatens to choke him. He closes his eyes, and he tells himself that everything is going to be alright. Sam will come through, of course he will. It's Sam. Sam is kind and smart and he knows what he's doing.

  
Everything will be okay.

  
Everything will be fine.

  
And if not? Maybe they run, although those men from the Center for Omega Control are probably watching the area to make sure they don't attempt that exact thing, at least they are if they have any brains at all. And, unfortunately, they probably do.

  
Briefly, he considers fighting. All of them, together, could surely take on the two agents, but he quickly dismisses the idea. What would they do with the men once they were subdued? Kill them? Of course not. Kidnap them? That would only be a temporary solution. Anyway, it's not as if removing the two agents from the picture would solve the problem. The Center for Omega Control would just send more agents, and the next would probably be better armed.

  
Cas is so immersed in his thoughts that he almost has a heart attack when Dean's phone rings, screeching the chorus of AC/DC's Back in Black. He jolts back into reality and follows Dean quickly into the kitchen. Dean picks his phone up off of the counter and slides his thumb across the screen in one smooth movement. He brings it up to his ear.

  
“What'cha got, Sammy? Gimme some good news.” He says.

  
He runs his hand over his mouth and the stubble on his chin as he listens, and Cas can hear the tinny edge of Sam's voice, but can't make out any of his words. He can't tell if Dean is getting good or bad news, his face is an impassive mask, eyes glazed over, he's somewhere else. Then, suddenly, the mask cracks. Dean's face melts into a smile and he gives a relieved laugh.

  
“You're a hero.” He says into the phone. “Jesus Christ, man, I thought I was fucked. Yeah, thanks. Uh-huh, I'll see you tomorrow.”

  
He hangs up, huffing a long breath, and looks at Cas for a long moment.

  
“We're gonna be okay.” He says breathlessly. “We're gonna be okay.” He reaches forward and grabs Cas by the shoulders to pull him into a hug, tucking the boy into his chest. Cas wraps his arms around Dean's middle and presses his face to the man's shirt, smelling the familiar laundry detergent.

  
“What did Sam say?” He asks, voice muffled by Dean's chest.

  
Dean pets Cas' hair, letting his fingers drift slowly through the dark strands. It's soothing, and Cas finds himself growing sleepy.

  
“He has papers.” Dean says finally. “He knows a guy who makes fake papers for omegas. He's going to bring them to me at work tomorrow.”

  
“Everything's alright?” Cas asks, unable to believe it.

  
“I think so.” Dean says weakly. “I hope so.” He kisses Cas' forehead.

 

 

When they tell the others everything that has happened, there's a bit of a panic. Gadreel hyperventilates and Hael starts to cry, but Dean quickly explains that everything should be alright now, and that calms them down a little. Meg does not seem convinced, but she doesn’t argue any more than usual. When Dean is finished talking, Anna comes over to Cas and wraps her arms around him, refusing to let go. She stays like that for a good 35 minutes, letting the smell of her big brother sooth her fears. He smooths his hand over her soft hair, kisses her temple.

  
“It's gonna be alright.” He whispers. “You won't have to go back, I promise.”

  
She continues to tremble, and cling to him, her fingers dig into the muscles on his arms until he's afraid she might break the skin, but he doesn’t push her away.  
When she finally does let go, there are tears still shivering in her eyes. She sniffs and wipes the back of her hand across her nose. She looks sheepish, and Cas brushes his hand across her cheek.

  
“It's okay.” He assures her. “I'm not going to let anyone take you anywhere you don't want to go.”

  
Eventually, they all make it to bed, but none of them sleep well. Everyone is tense with anxiety, they toss and they turn, worry burning holes in their bellies. Sure, Sam is bringing papers tomorrow, which gives them a fighting chance, but they're not out of the woods yet. Not by a long shot. There's still so much to worry about, and worry they do.

  
Halfway through the night Cas abandons his bed for Dean's, and Dean holds him close through the rest of the night.

 

 

The next day dawns clear and beautiful, but it does nothing to calm the air. Everyone is subdued, breakfast is a solemn affair. Meg picks sullenly at her food, frowning at the eggs as if they're the source of all of her problems. Gadreel shifts restlessly in his seat in a completely out-of-character outward display of worry. Inias whispers to an ashen-faced Anna, and Cas is worried that he might be telling her horror stories. Hael is oddly quiet. She sits on Cas lap and eats only what she's given. When she's not chewing she rests her head gently on his chest and says nothing.

  
When it's time for Dean to leave, Cas feels a surge of fear. In the hallway, he catches Dean by his wrist, holding tight.

  
“What if they come back?” He whispers, stomach stormy with anxiety. “What if they come while you're gone and take us away?”

  
Dean turns back to face him fully, bringing his hand up to Cas' face. He cups the boy's cheek gently.  
“They won't.” He promises. “They can't. If I have papers they can't take you.”

  
“You _don't_ have papers!” Cas hisses. “Not for the others!”

  
“But I will. By the time they come back, I'll have papers.”

  
Cas grasps Dean's arm as tightly as he can, feeling the strength in it. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. It'll be alright, he tells himself. Dean is right, the COC can't take them away from Dean without proof that they're not his. They might be monsters, but they do have _some_ rules.

  
“Okay.” Says Cas. He opens his back up, lets out his breath, and lets go of Dean's arm. He summons up a small smile. “Have fun at work.”

  
Dean rubs his thumb along Cas' jaw. “You be safe. I'll leave work early if I can.” He leans down and presses a long, tender kiss to Cas' lips. “I'll see you later.”

  
“Bye.”

  
Dean leaves, and Cas' heart sticks in his throat. He just wants this to be over, he just wants all of this to be over. He stands at the screen door watching the driveway for a long time, until Meg comes up behind him and puts her hand on his shoulder.

  
“What should we do?” She asks.

  
“What do you mean?”

  
“I mean...” She frowns. “I guess we should do our chores but...” She trails off, but Cas understands. The air is heavy, tangy and acidic with fear. It's difficult to walk in, hard to breathe. Every little action leaves Cas exhausted and heavy limbed. He just wants to curl up in bed and sleep until all of this is over. They should do their chores though, it won't do to wallow. That said, Cas doesnt like the idea of going outside on his own just now, there's till the matter of whoever has been watching their house.

  
“What if we do our chores in pairs?” He suggests.

  
“Yeah, I guess.” Meg agrees.

  
They end up paired off like this: Cas with Hael, Meg with Inias, Anna with Gadreel. Hael, Inias, and Gadreel don't really have chores, because they're only temporary (sort of), but they always help out. Cas is glad of Hael's company in the garden, and when he cares for his bees. It's not as though she'd be a tremendous help if something happened, but her presence is appreciated, anyway. She sits on the steps humming to herself while Cas walks amongst the hives with his smoker.

  
Afterward the children sit in the living room and try to watch television, but none of them are really paying attention. A few times, as he gazes vacantly out the living room window, Cas imagines that he sees someone out near the woods, but he blinks and then they're gone, so they must not be real.

  
Then, about an hour before Dean gets off work, Cas hears footsteps. Everyone is in the living room, and even if they weren't Cas can tell the difference between each of their footsteps. He doesn't recognize the ones he hears. He shushes the others, and they watch him curiously as he slowly stands and moves toward the doorway. He hears the footsteps for a moment more, and then they grow silent, but then he smells something metallic, and he feels a renewed thrill of fear.

  
“There's someone here.” He whispers to the group.

  
He moves closer to the doorway. He's aware of Gadreel rising from his seat behind him, but he doesn't pay him much attention. He's too caught up in following that scent, in trying to identify it. He doesn't recognize it, he realizes, and he remembers every scent he's ever smelled.

  
He's very close to the doorway when he hears the footsteps again, and then someone steps forward, into the archway. Cas stills, too close for comfort, close enough to grab.  
The man in the doorway is tall. His face is angular and angry, it's a mean face. Thin lips and lots of barely-there frown lines. His sharp eyes are on Cas, but then they're flitting around the room. They light on something behind Cas, and the man's mouth curls into a smile and makes Cas feel lightheaded with fear.

  
“It's time to come home, Megan.” The man growls, his voice nasal and low.

  
Cas knows, even before the small, frightened voice behind him says, “Dad?”


	22. Chapter 22

 

 

 

 

Cas stands in front of the large man darkening the living-room doorway. He’s terrified, scared beyond belief. This man _broke into_ their house. This man hurt Meg for years. This man found her here somehow, and Cas has the sickening suspicion that he’s the one who has been watching the house, who called the COC. Azazel Masters. Even thinking the name makes him sick to his stomach.  
“You should really learn to lock the doors, children.” The man sings, eyes still locked on Meg. He takes a step forward, and Cas fights the urge to run. 

  
Fear, adrenaline, and anger are all welling up in Cas’ throat. His hands are shaking badly and the man’s vile scent is making it difficult to breathe.

  
Azazel takes another step, moving to walk past Cas as if he isn’t even there, but something happens. Cas, to his great surprise, steps into the man’s path. 

  
“No.” He says. 

  
The man stops and looks down at him. Confusion, surprise, and anger mark his features. “What?” He says. 

  
Cas swallows. He holds the man’s gaze. “No!” He says, louder this time. “You- you’re not taking her!” 

  
Azazel is silent for a long, precious moment, before the throws back head head and lets out a bark of laughter. “No?!” He howls. “And what, exactly, are you going to do about it, omega?” He asks, mirth fleeing from his features in a moment. He leans in toward Cas, until is face is inches from the boy’s own.  
“You’re nothing.” He growls. 

  
He reaches out, and shoves Cas hard, sending the boy tumbling to the floor. He walks to the couch, where Meg is cowering, and he leans down to take her face in his hands. It might seem like a fatherly gesture, but for the fact that the man’s face is red with anger, Meg is crying, and Cas can see her skin turning white where his fingers are pressed into her skin too hard. 

  
“You’ve caused me a lot of trouble, little girl.” Azazel says quietly. Meg is struggling, trying to get away, but the man is big and strong and alpha, and her own strength is not enough. 

  
This is wrong. He can’t do this. Cas can’t let him do this. He gets to his feet, and he’s still shaking, but his fear is turning hard in his belly. There are so many things wrong with the world, and, right now, Azazel Masters represents every one of them. He’s evil, vile. He thinks betas and omegas are beneath him, and he’s trying to have them all taken away. He’s ruining the only good thing that’s ever happened to most of them. 

  
Cas balls his hands into fists, and he starts toward Azazel.  
“Hey!” He shouts. 

  
Azazel turns to look at him, surprised again. He’s probably never heard an omega raise their voice before. 

  
“You leave!” Cas says, as firmly as he can. “You’re trespassing!”

  
Azazel sneers. “Who’s gonna stop me, you?” He asks, derisively. 

  
“Yes.” 

  
“You better stop talking to me like that, little bitch, before I carve out your tongue.” The man says. There’s an evil glint in his eye, and Cas believes with all his heart that, yes, this man would cut out his tongue. 

  
Cas presses his fists hard against his thighs, so that the man can’t see them shaking. 

  
“I- I said leave!” Cas tries again, but there’s a traitorous hitch in his voice because he’s _so scared_ , and Azazel hears it. 

  
The man straightens back up and turns to face Cas fully. His presence hits the boy like a wall, and he wants to vomit. The man takes a step forward, and another, and another, and Cas can’t breathe. He’s right there, reaching out, wrapping his hands around Cas’ neck. 

  
“You need to learn some manners, bitch.” Azazel spits. He squeezes. 

  
Cas scrabbles at his hands, but they’re too big, and they’re too strong. He kicks out, but he’s too small to reach anything important. He’s too small, he’s too weak. Just like always. 

  
He fights for breath, but nothing is getting in, things are getting blurry.

Everything hurts, and if Cas had any breath he would cry because the face of Azazel Masters is going to be the last thing he ever sees. Distantly, he’s aware of other sounds. He hears shouting, screaming, but everything is very blurry and he just can’t focus on anything. 

  
Things are turning dark, finally, blissfully dark, when Azazel’s grip slackens. His hands fall away, and Cas tumbles to the floor, choking and coughing and gasping for breath. He scrabbles at the floor, trying to push himself upright, but his limbs are like rubber. Once he blinks a few more times, though, he can see what’s going on, and it’s amazing. 

  
Gadreel and Azazel are fighting, and Gadreel is winning. Azazel might be mean, he might be strong, he might be alpha, but Gadreel has been doing manual labor his whole life. He’s done the worst of it, the most difficult, the things that nobody else wanted to do, and he’s stronger than Azazel Masters. 

  
He has Azazel on the ground, and he’s hitting him and hitting him. Over and over again, his hand comes away bloody. There’s a far away look in Gadreel’s eyes, like he doesn’t realize exactly what he’s doing. Cas tries to raise himself to his hands and knees again, but he can’t make it. He needs to stop Gadreel, before he does something terrible, but he can’t seem to force the words past his lips. No one else says anything. They’re all still there. Meg is standing by the couch, eyes red, hands balled into fists. Inias and Hael are curled up into a ball on the couch, Anna is standing behind Gadreel, watching. She could stop him, Cas thinks, she has the way about her. He tries to catch her eye, but when he finally does her eyes look blank. She shakes her head, and Cas knows that it’s too late. He can’t stop Gadreel, and no one else is going to. He want’s to scream, but he’s so tired. He closes his eyes, and he thinks that this isn’t the way things should be either. He falls unconscious.

 

 

Cas wakes on the couch. He’s layed out, there’s a blanket over top of him. Meg sits next to him, on the space between his belly and the edge. He tries to speak, but it feels like there’s glass in his throat. 

  
“Here,” Meg says, offering a glass of water. “Drink some.” 

  
Cas takes it, and drinks a sip of it. It feels good, soothing. He smiles at her, she smiles wanly back. When he’s drained the glass, he sits up, and he finds that he’s not quite as weak as he was earlier. He looks around, and finds that the two of them are alone. No omegas, no Azazel. He looks quizzically at Meg, and she looks away. 

  
“They went to the lake.” She says. 

  
Cas reaches out to touch her elbow. He needs to know more, he needs to know…

  
“He’s dead.” She tells him, answering his unasked question. “That’s… why they went to the lake. They’re gonna let the fish have him.” 

  
Cas looks at her, and he wonders what she’s thinking. Does she feel guilty, or relieved? Does she realize what a mistake it was to take a life, even if it belonged to Azazel Masters? They’re all accountable for his death, every one of them. Cas feels it heavily on his heart. If he had just tried harder to speak… 

  
“He deserved it.” Meg says, jolting Cas out of his head. Her eyes are hard, serious, sure. “He deserved everything he got. I wish I had done it. I wish I could’ve seen his eyes go blank.” She whispers. 

  
Cas pulls his hand away from her elbow, stunned. How can she talk like that?  
She sees it, she knows what he’s thinking, and she grabs his hand back. She’s trembling.

  
“You don’t know what he did.” She whispers breathlessly. “You can’t-” She purses her lips, and closes her eyes. She swallows once, twice, and when she opens her eyes again they’re full of tears about to spill over. “You don’t know what he did.” She says again. “I promise you, the world is better off.”

  
Cas looks at her, into her eyes, and he believes her. He still doesn’t like it, it sits heavy in his chest, slimy and rotten, but he thinks maybe she’s right. Maybe they’re better off. He doesn’t know what happened to Meg, she doesn’t talk about it. Never has, probably never will. He sees it in her eyes sometimes though, in the way she stands, walks, talks, the way she still flinches away from sharp movements and loud noises. Cas doesn’t think it was right to let the man die, but it’s done, and maybe it’s not such a big loss. 

  
Cas swallows a few times, and when his throat doesn’t feel so much like it’s on fire, he asks, “What are we going to tell Dean?”

  
Meg bites her lip. “Nothing? I was hoping we could just sort of… forget this happened.”

  
Cas frowns at her. “We shouldn’t lie to Dean-”

  
“I didn’t say lie!” Meg interrupts. “Just don’t mention it.”

  
“Lies of omission are still lies.” Cas croaks. “And besides that, I can barely talk, and I bet there’s a bruise on my neck. How would you have explained that?”

  
Meg sighs, shoulders drooping. “I…” She rubs her temples roughly with the heels of her hands. “I don’t know. I just… I don’t know.”

  
She’s overwhelmed. A lot has happened in the last couple of days and Cas can see the pressure sitting on his friend’s shoulders like a physical weight. 

  
“I just want it to go away.” She whispers. “I just want him, and the memory of him, to go away.” 

  
Cas gives her hand a squeeze. “Okay.” He says, against his better judgment, we don’t have to tell Dean.” 

  
Meg shakes her head. “No, you’re right. We should. I just… I don’t want to.”

  
“He’ll understand.” Cas tells her. “It was an accident.”

  
Meg gives him an incredulous look. “Maybe for Gadreel. I don’t.. I don’t think he was all there. But, the rest of us? We let him do it.”

  
“It’ll be okay.” Cas promises.

  
“You always say that.”

  
Cas smiles. “I’m an optimist.” 

  
Meg rolls her eyes. “How did that happen?” 

  
“So far, things have always worked out in the end.”

  
“What about the middle?”

  
Cas shrugs. “If everything were _always_ good, I wouldn’t have anything to look forward too.”

  
“That’s very zen of you,” Meg says, smirking. 

  
“Don’t make fun of me!”

  
Then, very suddenly, Cas finds himself being pulled into a hug. He wraps his arms around Meg’s middle, and she sets her chin on his shoulder. She hugs him for several long minutes, and when she finally lets go her eyes are shining.  
“I have to go to the bathroom.” She mumbles, excusing herself quickly. 

  
Cas watches his friend go, then pushes himself to his feet. He’s still shaky, but he can manage. He wobbles through the house and out the back door. In the distance he can see the others walking back from the lake, a quiet, sullen procession. When they get close, Cas sees that Gadreel is splattered with blood, and his hands are covered with it. The older boy looks like he’s marching to a gallows instead of into a house, and when he sees Cas he goes pale. He doesn’t look the boy in the eye. He looks ashamed. 

  
“Come on.” Cas says, reaching out to take the boy’s hand. “Let’s get you cleaned up.”

  
Gadreel looks surprised, and confused, but he doesn’t argue. He lets Cas lead him through the house, to the kitchen. He lets the other omega sit him down in a chair and wipe the blood from his face with a washcloth. When Cas starts on his hands, finding them torn and bruising, he frowns. 

  
“I’m sorry.” Cas hears, and when he looks up from Gadreel’s hands he finds the boy staring at him. “I’m sorry.” He says again, voice shaking. “I didn’t- I didn’t mean to…” He looks away. 

  
“I know.” Cas assures him, spreading antibacterial ointment over Gadreel’s knuckles. “I know you didn’t.”

  
“I just couldn’t stop.”

  
“It’s alright.”

  
Gadreel shakes his head. “I shouldn’t have done that.” Cas sees tears spill over onto Gadreel’s cheeks before the older boy pulls his hands away and covers his face with them. His shoulders shake, and Cas fights the urge to cry himself. 

  
“I’m so sorry.” Gadreel says again. 

  
Cas puts a hand over his mouth and takes a moment before replying, to keep himself from crying, but when he speaks his voice breaks anyway. 

  
“It’s over now. None of us think any less of you. Any one of us could have stopped you, but we didn’t. We all did this, not just you.” 

  
Gadreel presses his fingertips into his forehead, and Cas is afraid that he’s going to hurt himself, so he reaches out and pulls the boy’s hands away from his face. To his surprise, when he does, he finds Gadreel leaning into him, wrapping his arms around him.

  
“Wow.” Cas says. “I’m just getting all kinds of hugs today.” 

  
Gadreel says nothing, but slowly his breathing starts to settle. When he pulls away, he looks embarrassed. 

  
“Sorry.” He wipes under his nose with the back of his hand. 

  
“It’s alright.” Cas assures him. “I just don’t think I’ve ever seen you… emotional before.”

  
Gadreel shrugs. 

  
“Okay,” Cas says gently. “Lets finish your hands.”

  
Oddly, the children seem mostly alright. They’re a little shaken, sure, but Inias and Hael don’t seem to quite grasp everything that has happened. Anna understands, but she just has a strange, steely look in her eye. 

  
By the time Dean gets home, they’re all more or less normal. There’s a dark stain on the living-room floor, but Meg has been working on it and now it just sort of looks like someone spilled grape juice. 

  
Dean comes in, looking cheerful. He’s got a small stack of papers in his hand.  
“I got ‘em!” He declares, waving the papers. “And they look authentic as shit. I’d like to see those Omega Control douchebags try and find a flaw in these.” He looks at them for a minute, then smilingly hands them to Cas. 

  
They _do_ look very authentic, someone did a very good job. “Um, Dean-” Cas starts. 

  
He’s cut off by a car rumbling up the drive. Cas freezes, assuming it’s the COC, but Dean peeks out the door and gives a wave. 

  
“It’s just Sam.” He explains. “He followed me over. For moral support. I thought, you know, he’s smart. He’ll probably be better at talking to the suits.”

  
He looks so hopeful, and Cas hates to tell him about everything that’s happened today. 

  
“Dean, I need to tell you something.” Cas tries again. 

  
“Why does your voice sound weird?” Dean asks, finally noticing that something is up. He eyes the scarf that Cas has tied around his neck. “Why do you have a scarf?” He reaches up and touches the edge of it. 

  
“Ah, well, that’s, um, that’s what I need to talk to you about.”

  
But then Sam comes in, and he and Dean start talking about what they’re going to tell the COC. He calls the rest of the kids in and they talk about everything they’re going to say. Meg pulls Cas aside and whispers. 

  
“Did you tell him yet?”

  
Cas shakes his head. “I haven’t had a chance.”

  
“We’ve got to do it before those guys get here!” She says. 

  
“I know! He’s not paying any attention.”

  
“Make him!”

  
“Why is this my responsibility?!” Cas snaps.

  
“Because you’re sleeping with him! That’ll, you know, soften the blow?”

  
“Oh my god.”

  
“C'mon, Clarence, he likes you best.” 

  
“You’re the worst.” Cas concludes. 

  
“Love you too.” Says Meg. 

  
Cas tries again and again to get Dean’s attention, but the man is preoccupied, and it’s pissing Cas off. By the time the COC car pulls up in front of the house, Cas is at the end of his rope. 

  
“Alright,” Dean says, looking out the window. “I think we’re ready for them.”

  
“No, we’re not!” Cas snaps, finally. 

  
“What, why?” Dean asks.

  
“Because, there’s a dead guy in the lake!”

  
Dean throws up his hands. “There’s a _what_?!”

  
“A dead guy!” Cas whispers loudly. 

  
“Cas,” Dean says slowly, lowering his hands. “ _Why_ is there a dead guy in the lake?! _Who_ is the dead guy in the lake?!”

  
“Um… Meg’s dad?” Cas admits. 

  
“What?!” 

  
“Hey, don’t yell at him!” Meg pipes up. “It’s not his fault!”

  
“Wait, what’s going on?” Asks Sam, who has been standing by, watching with a confused look on his face. 

  
“I don’t know! We don’t have time for this!” Says Dean, who is looking terrified and confused and very red in the face. 

  
He’s right, the agents are getting out of their car now.

  
“Oh fuck.” Dean groans, pressing his palm to his forehead. “Okay, I’m going to forget everything that just happened. We’ll deal with that later. Where are those papers?”

  
Cas hands them over.

  
“Okay, yeah, thanks. We can do this. Right guys?”

  
Silence. 

  
“Oh shit. Okay. We’re gonna be fine.” He turns to the door just as the agents come up the steps.

  
“Agents!” He greets them, opening the door. “Nice to see you again.”

  
“Hmm.” Says Agent Benson.

  
“Mr. Winchester,” Agent Karts says impassively. “Did you gets your papers in order, or will we need to take a closer look into your affairs?”

  
“No need!” Dean says, full of false cheer. “Got 'em right here.” He hands the papers over.

  
The agents make a big show of examining the papers as the rest of them stand around watching anxiously, but they don’t seem to find what they’re looking for. After several long minutes, Agent Benson grunts. “Looks in order.” He says unhappily. He looks to Agent Karts, who nods. 

  
“Mind if we take a quick look around?” He asks. 

  
“Not at all.” Says Dean, stepping back from the doorway. 

  
Cas clenches his hands in his dress, trying to remind himself that there’s no reason for them to go to the lake. There’s no reason. 

  
The tour is, in fact, quick. The agents don’t poke around as much as Cas thought they would. What they do see, though, seems to make them unhappy.  
“Technically, we’ve found nothing illegal.” Agent Karts says when they’re done. “But I suggest you change some things before you venture into dangerous territory. None of these omegas are wearing collars, there doesn’t seem to be any system for punishment, they look to have far too much leeway in my opinion.” He points his pen at Dean. “I don’t like the way you run your house, Mr. Winchester.”

  
Dean purses his lips. “I’ll take that into consideration.” He says stiffly. “Now, if you don’t mind, I have other things to do.”

  
The agents look at each other, then back at Dean. “Have a good day, Mr. Winchester.” Says Agent Karts. The two of them leave through the front door, and a few minutes later they’re driving down the lane. 

  
They all breathe a collective sigh of relief, and Dean looks like he wants to collapse onto the floor. Sam comes up next to him and puts a hand on his shoulder.

  
“That went really well.” He tells them. “You didn’t even need me here.”

  
Dean blows a loud raspberry, running a hand through his hair. “That was fucking terrible.” He says on a breath. “And, okay, who is going to explain to me why there’s a dead guy in the lake?”

  
Cas looks at the others, who look back at him hopefully. He swallows nervously, turning back to Dean. “Well…” He says. “There was, um, an altercation.” 

  
Dean raises his eyebrows and waits. 

  
“Meg’s father broke into the house.”

  
Dean stands up straighter. “Is anyone hurt.”

  
Cas looks down. “Well, um…”

  
“Cas?” Dean steps closer, eyes darting over Cas’ skin, looking for injuries.  
Cas sighs, and reaches up to untie the scarf from around his neck. He lets it fall to the ground, and he hears Dean make a choking noise, but he doesn’t look up. He feels Dean’s hand on his shoulder, his fingers on the skin of his neck, very gently. 

  
“Cas…” He breathes. “He…”

  
“I’m okay.” Cas tells him. “Gad stopped him. Uh… permanently.”

  
Dean looks at Gadreel, who stares at the ground, lips pursed.

Dean’s hand, the one that’s not on Cas’ neck, balls into a fist. Dean closes his his eyes. “Masters.” He growls. “That piece of _shit_!” 

  
Meg starts, even though Dean is obviously not talking about her. 

  
“Dean.” Cas says, putting a hand on his arm. “Calm down.”

  
“He _hurt_ you!” Dean spits. “That fucking-”

  
“Dean!” Cas interrupts. “I’m fine! And he’s,” Cas lowers his voice to a whisper. “Dead. Very dead. We don’t have to worry about him.”

  
“He got what he deserved.” Meg says. 

  
Dean looks at her for a few moments. “Are _you_ okay?” He asks.

  
She just looks at him. 

  
“I mean, I know he was awful,” Dean continues. “But he’s your dad.”

  
“ _Was_ my dad.” Meg corrects. “And I say again: he got _exactly_ what he deserved.”

  
“That’s…” Dean trails off, abandoning his sentence. 

  
In the meantime, Sam has gone to where Gadreel stands off by himself. He’s examining the boy’s hands, where the knuckles are bruised and torn. 

  
“Hit him pretty hard, didn’t you?” Sam observes. 

  
“I’m sorry.” Gadreel whispers. 

  
Sam shakes his head. “You did good. You were protecting the kids, yeah?”

  
“Yeah.” Says Gadreel.

  
“Then you did good.” Sam claps him on the shoulder, but not as hard as usual.

 

 

Dinner is subdued, but not tense. Everyone is just thinking, Gadreel, most of all. Sam and Dean go out to the lake together, and Cas isn’t sure if they doing anything more with the body of Azazel Masters, or if they’re just looking, but it gives him a headache to think about, so he tries not to. Dean keeps Cas close to his side, touching whenever possible. A hand on Cas’ shoulder or leg, a press of his knee to the boy’s, fingers lingering in Cas’ hair. He keeps looking at Cas’ neck, at the dark bruises in the shape of hands that wring it. Later, he kisses Cas’ neck very gently, tenderly, until Cas doesn’t think of Azazel Masters anymore when he feels the bruise, he thinks of Dean.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so we're nearing the end of this part of the story. In case you've forgotten, I decided to make a point where you could comfortably stop reading the story before the mpreg, if you're not into that. So, in maybe one or two more chapters we'll reach that stopping point. There will be another time gap, and Cas will be older. I'm thinking that part of the story will be mostly fluffy fluff.  
> Let me know if you spot any mistakes.
> 
>  **WARNINGS FOR THIS CHAPTER:**  
>  \- Sexual themes throughout the chapter  
> \- Actual sex this time
> 
> Remember, Cas is still underage. If this makes you uncomfortable, feel free to send me a message on tumblr and I'll give you a summery of the chapter.

 

 

 

 

Gadreel leaves about a month after the incedent with the COC. He’s already stayed much longer than he ever meant to, but everyone is still sad to see him go. He’s quiet, but he was starting to feel like part of the family. Inias seems the most shaken by his departure, he sobs and clings to Gadreel when it’s time for the older boy to leave, it seems the two of them have grown close when Cas wasn’t paying attention. Gadreel is very patient, he speaks to Inias in hushed tones until the boy is calmed. 

  
Inias is still sniffling softly as Gadreel slides into the passenger side of Kevin’s old Chevy. He promises to write, or to call, if he gets the chance, but Cas doubts he will. They usually don’t. Inias stands on the front porch watching the driveway long after everyone else has come inside, and he’s even quieter than usual for the rest of the night. 

  
At bedtime, Cas brings Inias a mug of tea that will help him sleep, because he suspects the boy will have trouble. He finds Inias curled up in Gadreel’s old bunk, arms wrapped around his knees. 

  
Cas sets the mug on the bedside table, and goes to sit gingerly on the edge of the bed. 

  
“I brought you some tea.” Cas tells him.

  
“Do you think he’ll really call?” Inias asks, after a long pause. 

  
“Maybe.” Cas lies.

  
Inias raises his head and squints at Cas. “You’re lying.” He deduces.

  
Cas sighs, adjusting his skirt over his knees. “I don’t know.” He tells Inias. “Usually, once they leave, we don’t hear from them again. Kevin will tell us how they’re doing, but… it’s fairly unusual to get a phone call.”

  
Inias’ bottom lip quivers. “Why?”

  
Cas shakes his head. “They don’t want to think about where they’ve come from, what they’ve been through. Sure, we help them, but we’re also a very vivid reminder of everything they don’t want to think about.”

  
“I don’t want to leave.” Inias admits.

  
“You don’t have to.” Cas tells him. 

  
Inias looks like he’s going to start crying. “Really?”

  
“Really.” Cas says, patting Inias on the hip. “You can stay for as long as you’d like.”

  
Inias sits up suddenly, throwing his arms around Cas. “Thank you.” He whispers. 

  
Cas pats his back. “Why don’t you drink your tea, okay? It’ll help you sleep.”

  
Inias finally lets go, rubbing his eyes. “Okay.” He says. “Goodnight, Cas.”

  
“Goodnight, Inias.”

 

 

Dean and Sam teach the kids how to shoot, because the Azazel incedent really scared everyone, and Cas’ bruise is only now starting to fade. 

  
Cas doesn’t like guns, and he doesn’t think the others do either, but they learn anyway. Hael just watches, because she’s too small. She keeps her hands clasped tight over her ears. Cas is not a great shot, by the end of the day he’s hit the target a grand total of three times, and not toward the center either.

Anna, on the other hand, is hitting her mark about half the time. She gives Cas a satisfied smile when they’re finished. Meg gets frustrated and starts grumbling, and Inias mostly just looks bored.

 

To Cas’ endless surprise, Gadreel calls a week after he leaves. He talks to Dean for a few minutes, and then shortly to Cas. He tells them that he’s doing well, he’s living in a little town in Maine, where the population is surprisingly tolerant and open minded. He’s living his life. He then spends forty-five minutes talking to Inias, and promises to call back the next week. Inias is in a better mood afterward, happy in the knowledge that his friend may have left him behind physically, but not mentally.

 

 

Cas is in the garden again. The weather is beginning to grow chillier, the air has a bit of a bite to it in the morning. As he weeds, Cas sings to himself. He gets louder and louder until he’s sure they can probably hear him in the house, but he doesn’t care. He feels good today, light and happy. They haven’t heard anything more from the COC, presumably because their informant now lies at the bottom of a lake, things are going well. 

  
Cas plucks vegetables carefully from the plants and places them into a large wicker basket that he has balanced on his hip. Tomatoes, bell peppers, peas, okra, banana peppers, squash, and cucumbers all find their way into his basket, until it’s full and heavy. He carries it back into the house, humming all the while. The kitchen is bustling, but he still finds his way to the sink to dump the vegetables in and begin to wash them. With all the noise, he doesn’t hear Dean come up behind him until the man’s hands are on his hips, his lips pressing to Cas’ shoulder. 

  
“Good morning.” The man whispers into his ear. 

  
“Morning.” Cas says, suppressing a shiver at the feel of Dean’s breath on his earlobe.

  
“Did you sleep well?” Dean asks.

  
“Hmm.” Cas hums the affirmative. 

  
“Well _I_ slept terribly.” Dean tells him, one hand slips down to fiddle with the edge of Cas’ dress. It’s a delicate, pink baby-doll, soft and light, and Cas thinks it looks good against his sun-browned skin. 

  
“Why is that?” Cas asks, although he already knows the answer, because this is something Dean does fairly regularly now.

  
“I was thinking about you.” Dean answers, and his hand slips down further to brush the inside of Cas’ thigh. Cas gasps, _that’s_ not normal. He smacks Dean’s hand away. 

  
“ _Not in the kitchen_!” Cas hisses. “There are _children_ here!”

  
“Then come upstairs with me.” Dean proposes, and Cas feels the man’s tongue trace the ridge of his ear. It sends a jolt of arousal through Cas’ body. 

  
“It’s ten o’ clock in the morning!” Cas reminds him, trying his hardest to keep a clear head. 

  
Dean wraps his arms around Cas and pulls the boy flush against him, nuzzling his nose into his neck. 

  
“But you smell good.” Dean murmurs. “And this dress is…” He runs his hand up to Cas’ hip. “I like it.”

  
Which is obvious, because Cas can feel Dean’s erection pressing against him and wow, where is all this coming from?

  
“Oh my _god_!” Comes another voice. Cas turns his head and finds Meg glaring at them. “Can you _not_ do that in the kitchen?! Ugh!”

  
At the stove, Anna nods. Inias is looking determinedly at the ceiling.  
Dean clears his throat and steps back. He turns to the refrigerator and starts rummaging through it, probably to buy time until his erection abates. 

  
Cas quickly smooths his dress back down. His face floods with heat. “Sorry.” He mumbles, turning quickly back to the sink to finish washing the vegetables. 

  
There’s an awkward silence for a few minutes, but then Meg starts talking again and things are back to normal. Dean shoots Cas an apologetic look, and keeps his hands carefully to himself for the rest of breakfast.  

  
Around noon, though, Cas begins to feel a little… restless. It’s like an itch under his skin, and finds himself searching for Dean before he even realizes what he’s doing. He finds the man out in the garage, under the impala. Only his legs are visible, sticking out from beneath the big car. Cas goes and sits down next to him, then pokes the underneath of Dean’s knee.

  
There’s thump from under the car and an exclaimed, “shit!” and then Dean comes sliding out from beneath the car, rubbing a red spot on his forehead.  
Cas laughs. “Hello, Dean.” He says.

  
Dean frowns, but there’s no anger behind it. “Hey, Cas. You scared the shit outta me.”

  
“I know.” Says Cas.

  
Dean’s lips curve upward into a smile. “Brat.” He accuses, nudging Cas’ leg with his foot. 

  
Cas shrugs. “What are you doing out here?”

  
“Just checkin’ her out.” He nods toward the impala. “Everything okay?”

  
Cas nods and leans his head against the car. “I just got kinda lonely.”

  
Dean grabs a rag from the floor and starts wiping his hands on it. “Well, you know I love having you around.”

  
“I know.” Cas says. 

  
Dean reaches out and brushes his knuckles along Cas’ jaw. Cas is pretty sure Dean getting oil on his face, but it makes him smile anyway, butterflies flutter in his stomach. As soon as they touch, Cas’ restlessness melts away. He leans into the touch, letting his eyes slide closed.

  
“Sorry about this morning.” Dean says. “Guess I, uh, got a little carried away.”

  
Cas snorts. “It’s okay.”

  
“Hey, you want to watch a movie tonight?”

  
“Everybody can never decide on a movie.” Cas tells him, eyes still closed.

  
“So we don’t watch it in the living room. I have a tv in my room.”

  
Cas opens his eyes then, finds Dean watching him with a small smile on his lips.

  
“Okay.” He says.

 

 

Cas and Dean sit on Dean’s bed, up against the headboard, and watch The Sound of Music on the little tv that sits on the table at the end of Dean’s bed. They’re snuggled close, Cas’ legs thrown over Dean’s so that he’s practically in the man’s lap. They kiss, Dean nuzzles at Cas’ neck, there’s some light petting, but nothing more. Cas just enjoys being with Dean, watching him mouth the words to the songs on the television. Cas runs his fingers lovingly through Dean’s hair, and the man turns to smile at him, and Cas can’t remember ever feeling this happy. He’s dozing a little, vaguely aware of Dean snuffling around his throat, when the man sits up straight and says, “Uh oh.”

  
Cas blinks blearily. “What?” He says, yawning.

  
“Um,” Says Dean, looking nervous. “I think you’re in heat again.”

  
Cas frowns. “I think I’d know if I was in heat, Dean.” He argues.

  
Dean shakes his head. “Maybe you’re about to go into heat them. It’s just, there’s that smell again, that you had last time, and I, uh.” He looks down at his lap.

  
Cas shifts a little, and is suddenly aware of Dean’s erection pressing against the underside of his leg.

  
“Oh.” He says. “But… I feel fine.” As he says it though, he remembers that strange, restless feeling from earlier, and the way it had melted away when he touched Dean. “Well… maybe you’re right.” He says after a minute. 

  
“Maybe I’m not.” Dean says. “I’m wrong a lot. But maybe I should go get some supplies, just in case. And maybe… maybe you should sleep in here tonight.” 

  
“And that would help… how?” Cas says, smiling. 

  
Dean colors and ducks his head. “Well, I just thought, you know, it would be easier for me to look after you that way.”

  
“Mmhm.” Cas hums sceptically. 

  
“I mean, if you don’t want to-”

  
“No, I do.” Cas interrupts. “I’ll stay with you tonight.”

  
Dean blows a nervous breath. “Okay. Cool. I’ll just get some supplies.” He hurries out of the room. 

  
Cas rolls his eyes and gets out of the bed, going to his own room to get a change of clothes, and to tell Meg and Anna what’s going on. When he gets back, Dean is already there. He has several bottles of water, Ibuprofen, some pills that Kevin gave Cas last time and the bag of fake knots.

  
Cas hopes he wont have to use the fake knots, but he appreciates the sentiment. He takes one of the bottles of water and sets it on the bedside table at the side of the bed that Dean doesn’t sleep on, then starts to change into his nightdress. He knows what he’s doing, he’s facing away from Dean but he can feel the man’s eyes on him, and maybe he strips a little slower than he really needs to. When he pulls the nightdress over his head and turns back around, Dean is on his own side of the bed, looking determinedly at the television. 

  
Cas climbs onto the other side and slides under the covers. “You ready?” He asks. 

  
Dean nods and gets up to turn off the overhead light. The tv is still on, and for a while they watch reality tv, Cas’ head resting comfortably on Dean’s chest. Dean combs his fingers through Cas’ hair and has him drink water every little while, hoping to stave off dehydration later. Cas feels the need for closeness, for physical contact, but he doesn’t feel that yawning pit of need in his belly yet. He and Dean kiss slowly for a while before falling asleep.

 

 

When Cas wakes, he feels awful. Everything is dry, except the sheets beneath him, which are soaked with slick. His head is pounding, he feels dizzy, his stomach is cramping horribly. All in all, though, it’s not near as bad as last time.

  
“Dean,” He gasps, clutching his abdomen. 

  
The alpha mumbles something, shifting in his sleep.

  
“Dean!” Cas says louder.

  
This time, Dean lifts his head. “I’m up.” He says blearily. “Wha'sup?”

  
“Can you hand me the pills?” Cas grunts. “You were right, I’ve gone into heat.”

  
Dean sits up quickly, rubbing his eyes and searching blindly for the pills on his end table. “Which ones?”

  
“Both.” Cas tells him. 

  
Dean opens the pill bottles and shakes the correct number of each into his palm before handing them to Cas along with a new bottle of water. 

  
Cas swallows the pills easily, then downs half the bottle of water. “Thank you.” He sighs finally. 

  
“No problem.” Dean yawns. “See? I told you I’d be able to help if you were in here with me.” 

  
Cas smiles. “You were right.”

  
Dean reaches over and brushes his hand down Cas’ arm. “You need some of that tea? I can make you some real quick. Or a back rub? You want to watch tv?”

  
Cas laughs softly at Dean’s over-attentiveness. “The tea would be nice, yes.” He admits. “And, um, I may need a towel or something to put under myself?”

  
“Okay, yeah.” Dean says, pushing the covers back and swinging his legs over the side of the bed. He hurries out of the room, and Cas can hear him walking down the stairs. 

  
Cas lays back down, wincing at the sharp pains in his belly. At least this time he’s not dehydrated, he thinks, at least they know what they’re doing. 

  
Dean comes back with a towel and a cup of steaming herbal tea. He helps Cas out of his soaked night-dress and panties, and slides a big towel underneath him. The mug of tea goes on Cas’ bedside table to cool. 

  
Cas feels weird just laying there naked, but the air does feel good on his overheated skin. He sighs.

  
“How you feeling?” Dean asks. 

  
“Not too bad.” Cas tells him. “I’m hot though, and my stomach hurts.”

  
Cas hears Dean shift, and then suddenly he’s there, leaning over Cas. “Here.” He says, setting his hand on Cas’ stomach. It’s so big, it completely covers the boy’s stomach. He starts rubbing small, gentle circles, and Cas finds his muscles relaxing just a little bit.

  
“Hmm, that’s nice.” He tells the man. 

  
“Feel better?” 

  
“A little.” 

  
Dean rubs Cas’ belly for a while, then Cas drinks his tea Dean gets an extra sheet for Cas to lay under, and they fall back asleep.

 

 

In the morning, Dean is incredibly apologetic. He has to leave for work. He’d rather be with Cas, he says, but he can’t miss any more days. Before he leaves, he makes sure there’s someone to cover Cas’ chores, that they all know his phone number if anything happens, that they know how to make Cas’ heat tea, that they know to keep him hydrated. Eventually Meg has to shove him out the door to get him to leave. He watches to make sure she locks the door behind him, as he does now, and he reluctantly leaves.

 

 

The other children take turns caring for Cas throughout the day. First Anna and Hael bring him breakfast: eggs, bacon, and toast with orange juice and more of the heat tea. They sit with Cas for a while, Hael chatters about something she saw on tv, Anna makes sure he eats every bite of his food. 

  
Afterward comes Meg, who watches tv with him for a while, then asks about his sex life. 

  
After Meg leaves, Inias comes to look after Cas, but he’s looking pale and pinched. Cas isn’t sure Inias doesn’t need looking after himself.

“Hi, Cas.” Inias says, sitting down in the chair next to the bed.

  
“Hello, Inias.” 

  
“Are you feeling okay?”

  
“Not too bad.” Cas tells him. “Not like last time. I could do with another bottle of water, though.”

  
Inias gets a new bottle from beside the bed and hands it over.

  
“What about you?” Cas asks after taking a swig. “How are you feeling?”

  
“Oh, fine.” Inias says unconvincingly. 

  
Cas gives him a skeptical look and the other boy looks away and sighs softly.  
“I miss Gad.” He mutters. “I miss him a lot.”

  
“You know his phone number now, don’t you? Why don’t you call him?”

  
Inias shakes his head. “I don’t want to bother him.”

  
“I really doubt you’ll be bothering him.” Cas assures him. 

  
Inias bites his lip. “Maybe.” He says, but his shoulders still have a sad slump to them. 

  
Cas reaches out and puts a hand on Inias’ shoulder. “Would you like to talk about it?”

  
“Not really.” Inias huffs, then seems to change his mind. “I mean… I really, really liked him. I thought he might stay. But he didn’t and I just…” He trails off. 

  
Cas feels a sudden jolt of empathetic pity, unrequited feelings are something he knows quite a bit about, and that’s what Inias seems to be suffering from.  
“It gets better. I promise it does.”

  
Inias looks down at his hands. “If you say so.” 

  
They watch tv for a while and Inias makes Cas a sandwich for a snack. He changes out the towel underneath Cas and  brings him more water when he needs it.

  
It seems like forever until Dean gets home, but when Cas hears the car finally rumbling over the gravel drive, he perks up with excitement. 

  
Dean comes straight up to his room, only stopping to take off his shoes, and slides right into bed beside Cas. Inias beats a hasty retreat, and Cas make a note to talk to him more later. 

  
Dean kisses Cas all over the face, over his nose and his eyelids and chin. 

  
“How are you feeling?” He asks the giggling boy.

  
“Good.” Cas says, smiling. “Better now that you’re back.”

  
“Have a good day?”

  
“It was alright.” Cas tells him. “I just missed you.” 

  
Dean kisses Cas on the mouth, deep and slow. “I missed you too.” He says when they pull apart.

  
Dean is sweet and attentive. He brings Cas supper, makes him more tea, he holds him and peppers him with kisses. He rubs Cas’ back, his legs, his feet, his ass (which turns into a little bit of fingering, which Cas enjoys immensely). He reads to Cas and lets him pick all the tv shows.

  
When it’s time to go to sleep, though, Cas has trouble. He hasn’t done anything all day, he doesn’t feel tired. Finally he rolls over to Dean and tucks himself into the sleeping man’s arms. He’s fast asleep within minutes.

 

 

The next morning, the part of his heat where his libido goes into overdrive hasn’t hit yet, but he can almost feel it coming on. Dean has to go to work again though. 

  
“I’ll try to get off early.” He promises. “And you’ve got the water and the fake knots, right? I’ll just- I’ll be home as soon as I can.”

  
“I’ll be alright, Dean.” Cas says. This time, he knows that Dean will come back to him, take care of him.

  
“Okay, alright.” Dean leans over the bed and kisses Cas before he leaves.

  
The second day is not so bad. He doesn’t feel so achy or dehydrated. He even gets out of bed and helps Anna make breakfast. Cas is putting off a lot of heat smell though, and Meg has to open every window in the house by the end of the day. At about two o’ clock, Cas can feel that pit opening up in his stomach, empty and hungry. He goes back up to Dean’s room and takes the fake knots with him to the bed, where he chooses a big one and presses it inside himself until he doesn’t feel empty anymore.

 

-o-

 

Dean manages to get off work a half-hour early. It’s not a lot, but it’s something. When he gets home he can smell Cas’ scent as soon as he gets in the door. All the windows in the house are open, so it’s not too strong, but there are traces of it all over the house. 

  
He can feel himself hardening in his pants as he ascends the stairs, the scent get stronger and stronger. When he opens the door to the bedroom it hits him like a wall, and he has to close his eyes and just breathe it in for a moment.

Last time, he’d had to hold himself back, keep himself from showing affection, from touching. This time he doesn’t. This time he doesn’t have to fight the smell, he just has to ride it. 

  
He opens his eyes again, and takes in the room. There are several empty bottles of water by the bed, and the bag of fake knots laying open. Cas is laying on the bed on his stomach, fast asleep, completely naked, with a large purple knot up his ass. 

  
God, he looks amazing. Dean can see every one of his freckles, he wants to kiss all of them. He wants to start at Cas’ feet and kiss his way up to the boy’s ass, so sweet and flushed red from the pounding its been getting from the knot.

Dean closes the bedroom door behind himself and locks it before quickly divesting himself of his clothing and climbing onto the bed. He crawls over to Cas and rubs the boy’s lower back.

  
“Cas,” He says softly. “Wake up, sweetheart.”

  
Cas grumbles something, but then he blinks a few and starts to wake up. 

  
“Dean?” He mumbles.

  
“Yeah, baby, it’s me.” Dean says, smoothing his hand down Cas’ back to cup his ass. 

  
Cas turns over, smiling sleepily. His face and chest are flushed red with the heat. He raises his arms up, asking for a hug, and Dean obliges, wrapping his arms tightly around the boy and kissing him softly on the mouth. 

  
“Alpha.” Cas breathes. He arches his back, pressing into Dean.

  
“What is it?” Dean asks. 

  
Cas reaches down between them, suddenly, and takes Dean’s erection in hand. He smiles and takes his bottom lip in between his teeth. 

  
“Want your knot.” He says sweetly. 

  
It’s not like it was last time, that fevered, guilt-inducing tryst in the middle of the night. This heat is going much easier, Cas isn’t out of it, constantly in some sort of fever dream. In fact, he seems mostly fine right now. He’s a little flushed, a bit warmer to the touch than usual, and hornier than hell, certainly. But other than being a little sleepy, he seems to know what’s going on. 

  
“You sure?” He asks.

  
Cas leans up to kiss Dean, long and dirty, and starts to pull slowly on Dean’s dick, hand moving up and down in a smooth rhythm. 

  
When he pulls back, his lips are a wonderful shade of red, and Dean wants to dive back in immediately. 

  
“I’m sure.” Cas says. 

  
“This one not doin’ it for you?” Dean asks, reaching down to tug at the end of the purple knot in Cas’ ass. 

  
Cas squeaks, his chest flushes even more. “It’s – _ah_ – it’s fine but… it’s not you.” 

  
It’s not Dean. With one sentence, Cas manages to take every one of Dean’s insecurities and lock them away. It won’t last forever, they always come back, but for now, he’s it. He’s what Cas needs. 

  
He leans down to kiss Cas again, on the lips, the neck, the chest. He laps at Cas’ nipples, red and swollen, nips at them. He likes the way it makes Cas gasp. He moves down further, feeling the soft skin of Cas’ thighs with his lips, rubbing his cheeks against the unmarked skin until it’s pink. He licks up the bottom of Cas’ dick, sucks on the head, swallows it down. Cas comes with his thighs squeezed tight around Dean’s head, hands gasping desperately in Dean’s hair. 

  
He’s so relaxed that it takes Dean a good minute to get him turned over onto his stomach, where he pulls the knot slowly out of Cas. As soon as he pulls it out, slick is dribbling out of Cas, down his thigh, to the towel beneath him. Dean bends his head to taste, lapping at the muscles of Cas’ hole, kneading the globes of his ass. Cas keeps letting out these breathy little sighs, and Dean just wants to keep hearing them forever. By the time he’s done, Cas is hard again, rubbing himself against the bed while Dean eats him out, his heat stamina is crazy.

  
There are a couple of condoms in Dean’s bedside table, and he takes a moment to slide one over his length before finally, _finally_ , pushing himself into Cas.

  
Cas is relaxed, loose, slick. It’s the most wonderful thing Dean has ever felt. The boy groans when Dean pushes in, but it’s all satisfaction, finally getting what he wants. 

  
Dean goes slowly, and Cas doesn’t protest, just pushes himself back onto Dean’s length, humming happily. Cas comes again while Dean is fucking him slowly, and again when Dean’s knot swells inside him, locking them together. It’s the most satisfied Dean thinks he’s ever seen the boy look.

  
They’re locked together for a good forty-five minutes afterward, during which time they lay on their sides and Dean kisses the back of Cas’ neck while the boy tells him about books he’s been reading lately. It’s wonderful, Dean revels in every word. He thinks about it hard, and he honestly can’t remember a time he’s been happier.

 


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey pals! Here's a longer chapter than usual because I just love you so much!  
> For anyone who dislikes mpreg, this chapter should be your stopping point. The next chapter will take place after some time has passed.

Cas blinks slowly. He feels warm, safe. There’s a soft breath on the back of his neck and an arm around his stomach. He shifts backward a little, snuggling into the body behind him. He can feel Dean’s morning wood pressing against his back and, actually, it’s pretty good timing because he’s feeling that emptiness in his stomach again and he needs to be filled.

  
He turns in Dean’s arms, slowly, until they’re face to face, and nuzzles into the man’s chest. 

  
“Dean,” He says. “Dean, wake up.”

  
“Hmmm.” Dean grumbles, still asleep.

  
“Dean, come on!” Cas whines, slick starting to run down his thigh. 

  
Dean sniffs the air and makes a pleased sound in his throat, but he’s still mostly asleep. 

  
“What is it?” He mumbles.

  
“I need your knot again.” Cas confesses. 

  
Dean makes a real effort to wake up this time, but Cas can see him struggling to keep his eyes open. He must be so tired after last night. They did have sex quite a few times, Cas muses, but he’s not that tired. Dean is older than he is though. 

  
“Not sure I’m gonna be able to give you what you need, baby.” Dean says, yawning. “’m just so… so tired.” His eyes flutter shut.

  
Cas huffs. “Can you just… lay on your back then? I’ll take care of it.”

  
Dean rolls on to his back, obligingly. “Sorry I’m not gonna be more help.”

  
“That’s okay.” Cas says, sitting up and reaching over Dean to pick the last condom up off of the end table. He frowns. He’ll have to ask Dean to get more when he goes to work. He slides the rubber over Dean’s length before straddling his hips. “I’m going to need it more later, too. I’m sure you’ll be more awake then.”

  
Dean lets out a strangled moan when Cas sinks down onto him, but he doesn’t move. Cas plants his hands on Dean’s chest and rolls his hips, quickly developing a rhythm that gives him exactly what he needs. He’s not embarrassed when he comes quickly, just relieved, and then Dean’s knot is swelling, binding them together once again. Cas sighs and stretches himself out over the man, head resting on Dean’s chest. The gentle thump-thump of Dean’s heart has Cas sliding quickly back to sleep, sated and happy.  

 

 

He wakes again when Dean has to get up to go to work. He feels kind of bad, because Dean still looks tired from last night, but all of the sex really couldn’t be helped. He watches as the man gets dressed, makes a sad noise when Dean pulls on his jeans. 

  
“I gotta wear clothes to work.” Dean reminds him, grinning.

  
“Well then stay here and be naked with me.” Cas proposes. 

  
Dean laughs. “I would if I could. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

  
Cas pouts, but he knows Dean has to go. He needs the money. “You should get condoms on your way home.” He remembers. “We’re out.”

  
Dean leans over the bed and gives Cas a kiss. “Will do.” He promises. “And when I come home I’m gonna take good care of you, alright?”

  
Cas stretches. “You always do.”

  
“Okay, I’ve got to go.” Dean says, finally. “I’ll see you later.”

  
Dean waves to Cas, walking backward out the bedroom door. Cas wiggles his fingers at him. He hears a front door a few minutes later, and then the Impala rumbling down the drive. 

  
Cas snuggles back under the blankets, humming and wiggling his toes. The days are growing shorter, and the morning air has just enough chill to it that Cas doesn’t want to get out of bed. He gets himself off with a large flesh-colored dildo before finally getting up. He brought some of his clothes into Dean’s room last night, so that he’d have them handy during his heat, and he picks out a pale pink, sleeveless, princess style dress that comes to just below his knees for today. It makes his skin look even more tanned than it is, and when he looks at himself in the mirror above Dean’s chest of drawers he can’t help but feel pleased. 

  
He feels… adult. He’s had his heats, he has someone to help him through his heats, someone who loves him, and he looks really good in this dress. He smiles at himself in the mirror, and spins, loving the way the skirt flies around him. Okay, so he feels slightly less adult now, but still more than before. 

  
He slips a plug in before he leaves the room so that his slick won’t ruin another pair of panties. When he comes downstairs Meg is folding clothes on the kitchen table, Inias is helping Anna cook breakfast, and Hael is sitting at the table coloring. She doesn’t seem to grasp the concept of coloring within the lines, and everyone has pretty much given up trying to explain it to her, but her pictures are certainly colorful. 

  
“What are you coloring?” Cas asks her.

  
“Um, flowers.” She tells him. She holds up the coloring book, showing him a rainbow mess, completely covering the pre-drawn flower lines with thick layers of waxy crayon. 

  
“Oh, sweetheart, it’s beautiful!” Cas tells her. “So many colors!”

  
Hael beams. “I like the colors.” She says, picking a crayon out of the wealth of the table and getting back to work. 

  
Meg, watching the whole exchange, laughs. 

  
Cas looks up at her, mouth pursed in a chastising line. She sobers, but Cas can see the ghost of a smile at the corners of her mouth. He goes to the basket of clean clothes and takes some up to help her fold. 

  
“Satisfaction looks good on you.” Meg says after a bit.

  
“What do you mean?” Cas asks. 

  
Meg raises an eyebrow. “I mean, once we’re done with these we should go somewhere where there aren’t little ears everywhere and you should tell me exactly what goes on in that room that has you fuckin’ glowing.” 

  
“That’s private.” Cas says, ducking his head, but he can’t help smiling. She said he’s glowing. He feels like he’s glowing. 

  
“Oh, you’ll tell me.” Says Meg.

  
“You seem very certain of that.”

  
“I’m your only friend.” Meg reminds him, “And I know you’re dying to talk about it, don’t try and deny it.”

  
“You’re not my only friend.” Cas protests. “What about Anna and Inais and Hael? And Dean, and Sam and Jess?”

  
Meg rolls her eyes. She holds up a hand and ticks off her fingers. “Anna is your sister, she doesn’t count. Hael is four, she doesn’t count.” Hael makes an indignant sound that Meg ignores. “You’re sleeping with Dean, doesn’t count. Sam and Jess are basically family so they don’t count either.”

  
Cas laughs. “That doesn’t make any sense! They are too my friends, your arguments are silly.”

  
Meg frowns. “Well, I’m your best friend though, right?”

  
“Of course.” Cas assures her. 

  
Mollified, Meg finishes and hoists the basket of now-folded clothes onto her hip. “You and I are gonna talk later, babe.” She says as she leaves the room. 

  
Cas sits himself down across the table from Hael, he picks up a crayon and fiddles with it.

  
“Has anyone been out to the bees yet?” He asks. 

  
“Anna has.” Inias answers from the stove. 

  
“Thank you, Anna.” Cas says earnestly. “I’m sorry I haven’t been doing it the last few days.”

  
Anna turns and waves him off with a smile. She doesn’t mind it. 

  
Cas smiles at her. “You’re a good sister.”

  
She sticks her tongue out at him. 

 

 

Cas works in the garden for a while. He has to stop once to go back up to Dean’s room and get himself off, but then he goes back down. He’s feels like he’s been neglecting his chores, the bees and the garden, and he hates it. He wants to be useful, and he enjoys the tasks anyway. His heat should be over soon, he reminds himself, and things will go back to normal. 

  
Cas frowns, pulling a weed that’s trying to pop up next to a tomato plant. He’s really enjoying sleeping in Dean’s room, with Dean. He doesn’t really want to go back to his own room anymore. Everyone seems to be doing fine, Anna has started sleeping in Cas’ bed on her own. Maybe… maybe he could bring it up to Dean. He wonders if that would be overstepping any boundaries. 

  
Cas chews on his lip as he works, worrying it until it’s red and irritated. He just can’t decide if he should ask Dean or not. Sure, he’s been sleeping there for the last few days, but that’s because he’s on his heat. Maybe Dean wouldn’t like him being there all the time, maybe he needs his space. 

  
“What are you worrying about?” Says a voice close by.

  
“Ahh!” Cas yelps, startled nearly out of his skin. When he whips his head around, Meg is standing there watching him. 

  
“Jesus, you scared me!” Cas tells her. 

  
“Not my fault you weren’t paying attention.” She says.

  
Cas frowns at her. 

  
“So,” She says, coming to sit down in the dirt beside him. “What are you worrying about?”

  
“I’m not worrying about anything.” Cas lies.

  
Meg scoffs. “Come on. I know when you’re worrying about something.”

  
Cas sits back, looks down at his hands, covered in earth.  
“I was thinking about asking Dean if I could sleep in his room, like, for good. But I don’t if he’d want me to.”

  
“Why wouldn’t he want you to?”

  
Cas shrugs. “Maybe he doesn’t want me around all the time.”

  
“Oh my god.” Meg shakes her head. “How can you be in a relationship with the guy and still be oblivious to how much he likes you?”

  
“I just don’t want to crowd him.” Cas explains.

  
“He wants to be crowded. He’s always trying to get close to you, he was even before you started fucking.” Cas makes an offended noise, but Meg continues. “He’s, like, always looking at you and touching you and smiling at you and stuff. I don’t think he’d care if you wanted to sleep in his room.”

  
Cas thinks about it, turning the warm garden earth over in his hands. He finds a worm, some beetles, an empty snail shell. “You really think so?” He asks.

  
“Yeah, dummy, course I think so. He loves you. Who wouldn’t? You’re great.” She smiles at him, and he smiles back sheepishly.

  
“Thanks.” He says. 

  
“No problem. Now,” Meg says, switching gears. “You were going to tell me all about your escapades in the bedroom.”

  
Cas laughs. “Was I?”

  
“You were.”

  
Cas looks away, embarrassed. “What do you want to know?”

  
Meg thinks for a minute, squinting. “I don’t know. Like, how does it feel?”

  
“How does what feel?”

  
“You know, sex.”

  
“It feels… it feels good. Dean is gentle, sweet, he takes good care of me.” He thinks about it more. “It’s kind of weird, being… full, but I like it.” He smiles. “And it’s fun. Not like it was at the Center. Not the same at all.”

  
“Does he have a big dick?”

  
“Meg!” Cas exclaims, scandalized.

  
“Well?” 

  
“I- I don’t know.” He stammers. “It’s not as if I’ve seen very many. Yes, it’s big, I guess?” 

  
Meg grins. “Nice.”

  
Cas huffs. “Are you done?”

  
“Are you telling me that you really don’t want to talk about this? Really?”

  
“Well…”

  
“Ahuh.”

  
“Maybe.”

  
“That’s what I thought.” Meg says smugly.

  
“It’s embarrassing, though! I don’t- I don’t know how to talk about it.”

  
“Okay, well, just tell me what you want to tell me.” She concedes.

  
Cas picks at his fingernails. “He makes me feel happy, safe, like I’m worth something. Like, he’s the most amazing person I’ve ever met… and he likes me. I’ve got to be doing something right.”

  
“Do you not… feel like you’re worth anything?” Meg asks, looking worried.

  
“I didn’t when I was little. Dean changed that.”

  
Meg shakes her head. “That’s not true.” 

  
“What?”

  
“You changed that. I was here, I know what happened.”

  
“What… what happened?” Cas wonders, suddenly not trusting his own memory.

  
“You learned stuff.” Meg tells him. “You grew up. You realized you were a person and not a thing.”

  
“I don’t-”

  
“You remember when we met? You had run away from home. And then I ran away with you. When Dean found you, you stood up for me and Anna and you wanted Dean to bring us home too. You didn’t do that because of Dean, he didn’t want us. You did that on your own. You stood up for me even though you barely knew me.” She looks away. “That was the first time anyone ever stood up for me. You changed my life, and you did it on your own.”

  
“I just didn’t want you to get left behind.” Cas says quietly. “I wanted you to be safe.” 

  
Meg nods. “You felt so strongly that you argued with Dean, and at that point you still thought he was the Almighty Alpha. You’re a great person on your own, Cas.”

  
Cas closes his eyes, trying to hold back the tears trying to force their way past his eyelids. Damn his stupid heat hormones! He brings his hands to cover his face and sniffles quietly behind them for a few minutes until he feels like he can trust himself. 

  
“Thanks.” He says finally. It’s not enough, but he doesn’t know what else there is. 

  
Meg leans over and gives him a half-hug. “No problem, Clarence.”

  
Cas turns his head into her shoulder and sniffles again. 

  
“Please don’t cry on me.” Meg requests.

 

 

After everyone’s chores are done, they all go to the living room to do “school”. It’s something they’ve been doing lately, because their levels of schooling very wildly, depending on what sort of Center they were in, and how long. Cas can read and write, do a small amount of math, and speak several languages, but has virtually no knowledge of history or science. Meg, having gone to some school, knows a bit more about math, history, and science than Cas does, but doesn’t know any other languages. Inias can read, but if asked to do even the most basic math he shuts down. Cas honestly isn’t sure if Anna can read or not. If asked directly, she just shrugs, and he can’t exactly ask her to read something out loud. He doesn’t think she was at a Center for very long, her basic skills seems limited. Hael, being only four years old, doesn’t know much either. She can’t read, and the only thing she can write is her name.

  
So, together, Cas figures maybe they can learn something. He had Dean get them some books to learn from too and, all in all, it seems to be going alright. Inias gets downright upset about math, and Hael is more interested in coloring than learning to read, but Cas feels like they’re making great strides. He already feels smarter, and they’ve only been doing this a couple months. 

  
“I don’t understand this. I can’t do it. I can’t do it!” Inias pulls at his hair and scrunches his eyes shut. 

  
Cas goes to sit next to him on the floor. “What’s wrong?” He asks.

  
Inias gestures to the math book in front of him, opened to the beginning of chapter 3, covering multiplication. “I just can’t do it.” He whispers. “I’m stupid.”

  
“You’re not stupid.” Cas assured him.

  
“But I don’t understand it! And I’m supposed to remember all of this but I- I just can’t!” Inias’ shoulders slump, he looks like he’s close to tears. 

  
“Hey, it’s alright, I’ll help you.” Cas offers. “I’m not very good at it either, we can figure it out together.” He bumps Inias’ shoulder with his own and smiles at him. 

  
Inias grimaces, but he sniffs and says, “Okay.”

  
Meg comes over after a while and she helps too. Working together, the bunch of them get a tentative grasp on mathematics. Anna gets bored after a while and wanders off. 

  
“Why doesn’t she have to learn it?” Inias asks, a little bitter.

  
“You don’t either.” Cas tells him. “I’m not going to force you or anything, I just thought everybody might want to learn stuff.”

  
“I do.” Inias sighs. “I just… feel so stupid, not knowing any of this.”

  
“I don’t know it either.” Cas reminds him. “It’s alright. We’re all learning it together.”

  
“Yeah, I guess so.” He doesn’t seem convinced, but when they move on to science he seems to have a much easier time, going quickly through the material. 

  
Later on, Cas finds Anna in the art room, sitting behind an easel. She’s staring at the canvas with a frightening intensity, she has paint splattered up her arms, on her pants and shirt, smeared across her nose. Cas goes quietly to stand behind her, looking over her shoulder at what she’s done. Involuntarily, all of Cas’ breath leaves his lungs. It’s gorgeous, and frightening. The painting is of a lake, the lake. In it, a man floats face down, arms spread out. The water around him is a gruesome red. But the details of the picture are intricate, the colors vivid. Cas imagines he can see the leaves on the trees that surround the lake ruffling in the wind, smell the lilies that grow by the water. She has captured the sunlight that plays on the water in the evening in a way that Cas didn’t realize was possible. 

  
“Did you do this today?” He asks.

  
She shakes her head.

  
“When did you start it?”

  
Anna frowns, holds up a finger.

  
“A day ago?” Cas guesses.

  
She shakes her head.

  
“A week ago?” He tries again.

  
This time, she nods. 

  
“It’s beautiful.” He tells her.

  
She bites her lip, looking at it sceptically. 

  
“Where did you learn to paint?” Cas asks.

  
Anna shrugs, gestures around her. He guesses that she learned here, which means she learned on her own. That’s impressive. Cas knows nothing at all about art, but he knows that this is impressive. Maybe he’ll see if Dean can get her some books about painting, or some instructional videos.

  
“Well, um, keep up the good work.” He says, a little awkwardly. He feels bad for being surprised that she’s so good, but he honestly never knew she had any interest in art, which sparks another pang of guilt. Why hadn’t he noticed? Has he been so caught up in himself and his own stuff that he didn’t pay enough attention? Well, from now on, he will, he decides. He’s not going to get so caught up in his own life that he neglects his own sister, dammit! That’s not the kind of person he his, that much he knows. 

 

 

In the evening, Dean comes home whistling cheerily. 

  
“We’ve got company coming this weekend.” Dean says, kissing Cas on the cheek.

  
“Company?” Meg asks, warily. “Who?”

  
“Guy who got us out of that mess with the COC.” Dean tosses his keys onto the table and they clatter together noisily. “Name’s Gabriel… Newark? Newman? Somethin’ like that. Sam knows him. He’s coming out Saturday, so are Sam and Jess and Laura. Gonna be a full house.”

  
“We could have used more notice.” Cas huffs. “This place is a mess.”

  
Dean runs his hand through Cas’ hair is a gesture that oozes fondness and domesticity. “It’ll be fine.” 

  
Cas rolls his eyes. “Did you want us to make anything specific?”  
Dean leans down to drop a kiss to Cas’ lips. “I’m going to grill. You don’t have to do anything at all.”

  
Cas smiles, placated. “Well, alright.” He says. 

  
“I was thinking burgers and hot dogs.” 

  
Cas gives him a look. “Dean, you know Hael can’t have meat.” He reminds the man. “And the rest of us shouldn’t have much either.”

  
“Alright, fine.” Dean grumps. “I’ll make tofu dogs and veggie burgers too. Happy?”

  
“Yes.” Says Cas.

  
Dean sighs, but his heart isn’t in it. He knows that meat isn’t good for the omegas, and Cas knows that Dean does what he can to make things easier for them. 

  
“We’ll be glad to have him.” Cas tells Dean. “He saved us from a lot of trouble.”

  
“Sure did.” Dean agrees. “We were almost seriously fucked. I’d say dinner is the least we can do for the guy.”

  
Cas nods. This does seem like a situation that warrants more than, say, simply a thank you card. Inviting him over for dinner seems fitting.   
“It’s a good idea. Maybe I’ll get out the fancy plates.”

  
Dean frowns, confused. “We have fancy plates?”

  
“You know, the ones Sam gave you for Christmas last year?”

  
“I have no idea where those are.”

  
“Well, I do. I put them in a container in the garage.” Cas tells him.

  
Dean blinks. “Oh. Well… good job. You’re always better at thinking ahead than I am.”

  
“Chipmunks are better at thinking ahead than you are.” Cas chides.

  
Dean snorts, but doesn’t disagree. “I guess you’d better set out the fancy plates.” He says finally.

“Good.” Says Cas. “Now, there’s something wrong with your bed and I think we should investigate it right away.”

“Oh my _god_.” Meg groans.

 

 

Saturday dawns clear and warm. A breeze blows through the Winchester property, cooling the air. Around noon Dean gets the grill started and puts the meat (and faux-meat) on. The smells drift on the breeze, up to the porch and into the house, pulling the rest of the inhabitants out. They set up two folding tables near the porch, side by side, and they bring out the chairs in the kitchen until there are enough for everyone. Forks, knives, plates and cups all get brought out as well. 

  
At one ‘o clock, Cas hears the low rumble of tires on gravel, and when he looks down the drive he sees two vehicles. Sam’s, followed by a jeep the color of limes. It’s garish, to say the least, but Cas kind of likes the color. The two vehicles come to a stop by the house, and the people get out. There’s Sam and Jess, carrying a squirming Laura, and out of the other car steps a man who looks a bit like a cartoon character. He’s short, made to seem shorter in comparison to Sam, with longish brown hair. He’s wearing bright red flip flops, cargo shorts, and a kaleidoscope patterned button down over a tank top the color of the sun. It hurts to look at him, but he seems oddly familiar somehow. The newly-arrived group approaches, and Sam introduces the man as Gabriel Novak.

  
Cas freezes, makes his face go blank so that he can have a moment to collect his thoughts. That name, it can’t be. It can’t be him, surely not. This can’t happen to Cas twice in his life, there’s no way. No, it isn’t him, Cas tells himself. It’s just a coincidence. There’s more than one person in the world with that name. It doesn’t mean anything.

  
Cas makes sure his features are still carefully neutral as he comes back to himself. Thankfully, no one noticed his momentary crisis, and he is introduced to Gabriel.

  
The man blinks and asks. “Is “Cas” short for anything?”

  
“No.” Cas lies. He doesn’t know why he does it, the falsehood just leaps out of his mouth, and there it is. When Dean introduces Anna, Gabriel takes interest again. He gets this suspicious frown and says,

  
“Anna… are you two…” He gestures between Anna and Cas. “Related?”

  
“Siblings.” Dean answers before Cas can.

  
“I thought so.” Gabriel says, satisfied. “You look alike.”

  
Cas gives him a tight-lipped smile, and Anna just looks at him.

  
Dean moves on, introducing Gabriel to the rest of the family, but Cas still has a tight ball of nerves sitting heavy in his stomach. 

  
When it’s time to eat, Cas finds himself seated beside Dean, across from Gabriel, who keeps trying to draw him into conversation. Cas, however, isn’t having this and it’s left to Dean to pick up the slack. He doesn’t seem terribly put out though, they start talking about cars and Cas tunes them out. He doesn’t stop paying attention though, and he learns a great deal throughout the meal. He learns that Gabriel is a clerk at a law firm, he’s a beta, that he laughs easily but has sharp, observant eyes. He looks more and more familiar the more Cas watches him, but he fights the feeling, afraid of hoping. 

  
After food, which everyone agrees is very good, everyone sort of scatters. The adults stay sitting around the table talking, while the omegas, Meg, and Laura play in the yard. It’s tag, and then a sort of rule-less game of soccer. But they don’t have a soccer ball so they have to use a basketball. Eventually Cas tires and goes to sit on the porch to watch the goings-on from a safe distance. He’s watching Anna kick Meg in the shin when someone sits down beside him on the step. He turns to find himself face to face with Gabriel.

  
“Oh, hello.” He says, trying to mask his surprise. 

  
“Hi.” Says Gabriel. Then… nothing. They just sit there, watching the children play, until Cas doesn’t feel quite so anxious anymore. There’s something about Gabriel’s scent that calms him, Cas finds, and this is when he realizes that he’s right. Has been this whole time. He does recognize Gabriel, his scent just confirms it. 

  
Cas wrings his hands together in his lap, unsure if he should bring it up or not, he’s not sure how the news would be received. Should he say?   
He’s still trying to decide when the man shifts beside him. 

  
“So, how have you been?” Gabriel asks. 

  
“Oh, um, well.” Cas says.

  
“And Anna?”

  
“She is well also.”

  
“She doesn’t speak at all?” Gabriel asks.

  
“No.”

  
“What happened?”

  
“I don’t know. She was like that when I found her.” Cas admits. “She’s been through a lot.”

  
There’s a pause, and then, “You know who I am, don’t you, Castiel?”

  
Cas shivers. He hasn’t heard his full name in probably close to nine years. It’s odd. It feels like finding a piece of himself that he hadn’t realized he’d lost.  
“Gabriel.” He whispers. “Brother.”

  
“I didn’t think you remembered.” 

  
“I wasn’t sure.” Cas says. “You look different, and I didn’t remember you very well anyway.”

  
Gabriel nods. “You look different too. But not that different. Your eyes are the same. I’ve never seen such serious eyes on a child.”

  
Cas frowns. “I’m not a child, Gabriel, I’m fourteen.”

  
Gabriel sighs. “You’ve grown up.”

  
“Yes.”

  
“… I’m sorry I didn’t stop our parents from selling you. I was young, I didn’t think there was anything I could do.”

  
Cas shrugs one shoulder. It’s no use living in the past, he figured that out a long time ago. What’s happened has happened. 

  
“I left home after they sold you. I didn’t know about Anna. I tried looking for you a few times, but I… I never had any luck.”

  
“How long have you known who I was?” Cas wonders.

  
“About a half hour.” Gabriel answers. “Like I said, same eyes as always.”

  
“So… you’re helping omegas now?”

  
“Seemed like the thing to do.”

  
Cas nods. “That’s good. “

  
They sit there for a long time, and then after a while Gabriel puts his arm around Cas, and Cas leans into him, and they’re hugging. It’s a little awkward, but his smell is so comforting, so warm, so distinctly “big brother”, that it makes Cas want to cry. 

  
Eventually Dean wanders over and gives them a confused look. 

  
Cas sits up, wiping hurriedly under his eyes. 

  
“Everything… okay?” Asks Dean.

  
“Um, Dean, Gabriel is, um, my brother.” Cas tells him. 

  
“Your…” Dean puts his hands on his hips. “Just how many long lost siblings do you have?”

  
“This is all that I know of.” Cas says. 

  
Dean looks at Gabriel, and back to Cas. He shakes his head. “What are the odds?” He mutters. 

  
Cas shrugs. Gabriel gives Dean the finger guns.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know the ending of this chapter was kind of abrupt, but that's just how I do sometimes.
> 
> To anyone who is stopping at this point:  
> I love you! Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed it.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, so this chapter is the first of Part Three, which is going to be mostly fluff and mpreg. It happens 7 years after the events of the last chapter. So, ages are:  
> Cas - 21  
> Meg -21  
> Anna - 17  
> Hael - 11  
> Inias - 19  
> Gadreel - 24  
> Laura - 10
> 
> Also I wrote this all today so let me know if you see any errors because they're probably about.
> 
>  
> 
>  **EDIT**  
>  I'm going to do the next part of the story separately, because as i've been writing the next chapter i've realized that the fluff and mpreg feel different than the rest of the story. So i've made a 'verse out of this, and very soon there will be another story in it, which will be the next part. Thank you for being understanding, and I hope you read it.
> 
>  **CONCERNING LAURA'S SECONDARY GENDER:**  
>  Okay, so in this verse, there is a blood test that's done when a child is between two and four years old that will tell what their secondary gender is (alpha, beta, omega). It's not _necessarily_ illegal not to get it done, but that's only because everyone does it. Like, everyone. Because if you're child is alpha, yay you got an alpha. If your child is a beta, there's nothing to worry about. If your child is an omega, you take them to a Center and get a good bit of money in exchange for your unwanted child (I know it's horrible, it's awful awful, but that's what happens).  
>  So, my point is, there's no reason not to get the blood test. It's even free.  
> Sam and Jess, however, have decided not to get Laura tested. In this part of the story, she's ten years old, and no one knows her secondary gender. Once she gets a little older he scent will change and omegas will be able to tell what she is, but until then, it's a mystery.  
> Sam and Jess didn't want to force gender stereotypes on her, even by accident, which is why they didn't get her tested.  
> This will have consequences. For instance, they won't be able to enroll Laura in school without knowing her gender, but they're both smart and they teach her at home.  
> Anyway, that's what that's about.

**Seven Years Later**

 

The Winchester house stands tall in the afternoon sun. The exterior is bright white, recently painted, one side still covered in dark green ivy. A new porch swing creaks slowly back and forth in the breeze and there is a constant, low hum coming from the bee hives in the back yard. The Impala sits in the garage, and there is a blue minivan parked out front, little stickers on the back windshield depict a man, woman, and child. Little white letters beneath them say Sam, Jess, Laura.

  
All of the windows are open, and the breeze winds through the house, in through the living room, down the hall, to the sun-lit kitchen where Cas stands at the stove. 

  
He turns the eggs and bacon over deftly, ignoring the grumbling coming from his sister who stands beside him, eying the food critically.

  
“I was doing this long before you, missy.” Cas reminds her. “I know what I’m doing.”

  
Of course, it’s at this point that the bacon grease pops and splashes all over his hand. “Shit!” He curses, jerking back. He hits the spatula, sending it and one of the eggs to the floor. He just looks down at it dejectedly as Anna gives him an “I told you so” face. 

  
“Yeah, yeah.” He mutters. “I know.”

  
He takes the spatula to the sink to wash it before coming back and handing it to Anna.

  
“You go ahead.” He concedes. “I’m no good at this anymore.”

  
She takes it, but smiles at him. He rolls his eyes and leaves the kitchen, following the hum of voices to the living room. 

  
Sam, Jess, and Dean sit on the couch. Hael and Laura are on the floor playing a board game. The television is on, set to the news, but no one seems to be watching. 

  
Dean looks up when he enters.

  
“Get kicked out of the kitchen?” He asks.

  
Cas sighs. “It’s official, my little sister is better than me at everything.”

  
Dean grins and hold out his arms for Cas, who comes and slides onto his lap. He’s much to big to be doing this, but he does it anyway and Dean doesn’t complain, although it can’t be comfortable for him. 

  
Dean kisses Cas on the forehead. “Not everything.” He teases. “You’re still the bossiest.” 

  
Cas frowns at him, “Meg is the bossiest.” He insists.

  
“Sure she is, baby.”

  
“You’re a condescending asshole, you know that?” 

  
Dean shrugs. 

  
“So,” Jess addresses them, “I hear you’re getting a new tenant.”

  
“Sure are.” Says Dean.

  
“Kevin is bringing her out this evening, and Gabriel is coming by with fake papers for her.” Cas informs her.

  
They haven’t had much trouble with the COC since that day, years ago. The organization sends agents out every once in a while, sure, but they never find anything expressly illegal, thanks to a lot of hard work and combined resources. Having Gabriel forge papers for any omega who stays at the Winchester house, no matter how briefly, is just one of the precautions they take now days.

  
“How old is she?” Sam asks.

  
Dean thinks for a moment. “Seventeen? Eighteen? Somewhere in there.” 

  
Sam and Jess nod thoughtfully. “Where’s she coming from?” Sam wants to know.

  
“Down South, someplace. Near Texas, I think.” Dean tells him.

  
“That’s a long way to travel.” Jess muses.

  
“We’re one the most stable safe houses in the country, according to Kevin.” Cas speaks up. “We’re clean, we’ve got plenty of room, we’re secluded, but not too hard to find. We’ve got a good reputation.”

  
“Isn’t that kind of dangerous?” Jess asks, lips pursed worriedly. “To have a reputation, I mean.”

  
Cas and Dean look at each other. This is a conversation they’ve had too, it’s something they think about a lot, actually. Many small hours of the morning have seen Cas and Dean, snuggled into bed, discussing what might happen if they’re caught, what they can do to prevent it, whether or not they should keep doing it. To the last question, the answer is always a resounding “yes”. Neither one of them can just sit back and do nothing, it’s almost unthinkable. The other questions get different answers all the time, but so far they’ve kept ahead of the police and the COC, and managed to stay afloat, money-wise.

  
“Not as dangerous as it is for omegas on the run.” Cas says finally. “I’ll take the risk.”

  
Dean gives Cas a gentle squeeze around his middle. “Me too.” He agrees. 

  
Cas looks at Dean again, into his kind eyes. Here is an alpha who was once firmly prejudiced against omegas, risking everything to help them now. Opening his home and his heart to a gender he once thought inferior. He has changed, truly, and the thought floods Cas with great happiness every time it crosses his mind. 

  
He feels sickened when people claim upbringing to explain their prejudices, because he knows for a fact that people can change. Dean did, Cas has himself. They are a far cry from the timid little omega who came to life with the angry, withdrawn alpha twelve years ago. Anyone can change, Cas thinks. It’s a wonderful thought.

  
About ten minutes later, Gabriel arrives, speeding up the drive to park perilously close to Sam and Jess’ minivan. He has several plastic bags hanging on his arms, and when no one greets him at the door he throws back his head and shouts, 

  
“Is this any way to treat someone who’s bringing you candy?!”

  
Hael and Laura leap to their feet and rush to the front of the house to get the door for Gabriel. Anna pokes her head curiously out of the kitchen, and Meg, somewhere in the back of the house, yells,

  
“Is there candy?!”

  
Of course there is. Gabriel, aided and hindered both by Hael and Laura, dumps the contents of his bags on the kitchen table, letting all sorts of candy spread across the surface. 

  
Cas, having gotten up and followed the action, sighs. “That is _too much_ candy, Gabriel.”

  
Gabriel turns to him, looking taken aback. “Blasphemy!” He cries. “No such thing!”

  
“They’re going to by hyper for days.”

  
“Days,” Gabriel scoffs. “I could eat this myself in one sitting, it’ll be gone by the end of the night.”

  
“I don’t doubt that you could eat it in one sitting.” Cas says, reaching out to pat his brother on the stomach, pudgy from a lifetime sweet-tooth. 

  
Gabriel looks offended. “It’s not polite to bring up a lady’s weight, Cassy, I’m surprised at you. I thought you had better manners.”

  
Cas snorts. “You know me better than that, Gabriel.”

  
Gabriel shrugs, nodding his agreement. “Ah, well.” He leans back, cups his hands around his mouth, and roars, “CANDY!”

  
Hael and Laura are already at the table, tearing through the pile of sweets, and Anna looks like she’s about to set down her spatula and join in. There’s a patter of feet, and then Meg is rushing in, sliding across the linoleum on socked feet. “Candy!” She shouts.

  
Gabriel gives Cas an approving look. “This one has her priorities sorted out.” 

  
Cas rolls his eyes. Within minutes, Meg and Laura are arguing over a box of Whoppers.

  
“I saw it first!” Laura whines.

  
“ _I_ grabbed it first!” Meg says, haughtily. “Gotta be faster than that, little girl”

  
“You’re being mean!” Laura accuses. 

  
“You’re being a brat!” Meg counters. 

  
This goes on until Cas, unable to take any more, steps in. “Meg.” He says. “She’s ten, just give her the candy.”

  
Meg clutches the box of Whoppers to her chest. “But they’re mine!” 

  
“You’re a grown woman!” Cas reminds her.

  
“And, as such, I’m entitled to the damn Whoppers!” She turns her attention back to Laura. “You wanna arm wrestle me for it, kid?”

  
“Meg!” 

  
“Ah, fine.” Meg whines, tossing the box at Laura, who catches it with a triumphant noise. She points to Cas. “You owe me a box of Whoppers.”

  
Cas throws his hands up into the air. “You see what I deal with?” He says to Jess, who has just come into the kitchen herself.

  
She shakes her head. “I don’t know how you do it.”

  
After a few minutes of watching the children and Meg fight for candy, Cas wonders, “Where’s Inias? He’s going to miss all the candy.”

  
“You snooze, you loose!” Says Meg.

  
Cas exits the kitchen, looks down the hallway and into the rooms down it. Jess follows him, humming quietly to herself. Inias isn’t on the first floor though, and so they ascend to the second. Cas notices immediately that the door to the room that Inias shares with Hael is closed. Hael is downstairs, so Inias must be in there by himself. He never closes the door.

  
Cas goes and knocks twice.

  
“Inias?” He calls.

  
There’s a muted thump and then a “Yes?”

  
“Is everything all right in there? I saw you had the door closed.”

  
“Oh, um- uh, yeah. Everything- Everything’s fine! I’m just- just changing! Give me a moment!”

  
Cas can hear more thumping, a pained grunt, Inias running around quickly. When the door finally opens, Inias is a mess. His shirt is on inside out and his pants are completely wrinkled, he’s out of breath, his face is flushed red from his cheeks to his neck. Suddenly, Cas knows what’s going on. Inias was not getting dressed.

  
“Oh.” He says. “ _Oh_ , I’m sorry I interrupted you.”

  
Inias blushes ever harder, red straining up to the tips of his ears. “Oh, god.” He says, dropping his face into his hands.

  
“Now, there’s no need to be embarrassed.” Cas assures him. “It’s perfectly natural.”

  
“Oh my _god_. This is so terrible.”

  
“Masturbation is nothing to be ashamed of.”

  
Behind him, Cas hears a noise that sounds a lot like Jess, trying not to laugh.

  
“ _Please_ stop talking.” Inias begs. “Can we just pretend this didn’t happen? Please?”

  
Cas has a sudden thought. “It’s because you talked to Gadreel earlier, wasn’t it?”

  
Inias shuts the door in his face.

  
Cas frowns. “Rude.” He mutters. “I came to tell you that Gabriel brought candy!” He says to the door. There’s a sound that seems like a muttered response, but Cas can’t be sure. When he turns, he finds Jess, red-faced and choking on silent laughter. 

  
“You’re like a mother!” She gasps. “Poor Inias.” 

  
“I didn’t _mean_ to upset him!” Cas insists. 

  
“Oh, sweetheart.” Jess says, putting her hand on his shoulder. “You’ll make a wonderful parent.” She blinks. “Assuming you want to kids, that is. It’s fine if you don’t. I didn’t mean to assume-”

  
“No, no, that’s fine.” Cas stops her. “I do.” He walks to the end of the hall to look out the window, at the back yard. “I just… don’t know if Dean wants that, you know?”

  
“You haven’t talked about it?” Jess asks, coming to lean on the wall beside the window.

  
Cas frowns. “It never really came up. Probably because we’re already taking care of so many. Sometimes it sort of seems like we have children already, but… I don’t know. I think I’d like to have some that are mine biologically as well.”

  
Jess smiles at him. “You should talk to Dean about it.” She says.

  
“What if he doesn’t want kids?” Cas asks, suddenly anxious.

  
“I’ve known Dean for a long time, and I can say that I honestly don’t think that will be a problem. Dean loves kids. And, if I’m wrong… I’m sure you guys will work it out.”

  
Cas sighs. “You’re right. Of course, you’re right. It’s just scary, you know?”

  
“I know.” She says, leaning in to press a kiss to his forehead. “But you can always talk to me, you know that.”

  
Cas nods. “Thank you.”

 

 

The new Omega comes just before dinnertime. She and Kevin pull up in Kevin’s shitty car, and she gets a suitcase out of trunk. It’s odd for them to have suitcases, actually, but it turns out that Joanna Harvelle is an odd situation all around. She’s not on the run, to start. She’s never been owned, or to a Center at all. She has no scars, no number on the inside of her wrist. 

  
Upon Kevin and Jo’s entrance, they get the full story.  
Jo’s mother, a Ms. Ellen Harvelle, was a very good friend of Kevin’s. A beta, sensible and kind, and upon having an omega daughter, did what few parents do. She kept her. She kept the child, as Kevin’s own mother had done, hiding her away from the world, teaching her at home. 

  
For seventeen years things went relatively smooth. But, as luck would have it, two months ago she was back-ended by a semi-truck, killed instantly. Jo, seventeen, knowing nothing about the outside world, made her way across the country to Kevin with only an aged map of her mother’s. She’d been staying with Kevin, but he thinks she’ll do better here with the Winchesters. 

  
Jo glares, her mouth in a tight line. She’s a bit shorter than he is, she’s blond, she’s skinny from her malnourishment on the road. She’s an omega, her mother has died, and she’s angry, understandably. 

  
Her suitcase goes up to the room where Hael and Inias sleep, Inias now safely downstairs avoiding Cas’ gaze, and they sit down to eat. It’s standard fare, but Jo eats like it’s the last meal she’ll ever get.

  
“I fed her, I swear.” Kevin tells them. “She just eats like that.”

  
Jo looks up, surprise clear in her eyes. She sets down the large chunk of ham she’d been eating with her hands and wipes her fingers on a napkin. “There wasn’t a lot to eat on the road.” She explains. “Guess I got in the habit.”

  
“Ah, leave her alone.” Sam rumbles. “Dean is worse than that, and he has no excuse.” 

  
Dean frowns and points a fork at his brother. “At least I don’t eat so much so much I look like I’m pregnant.” He says, gesturing at Sam’s belly which is, in fact, a little bigger than usual because he’s had thirds already. 

  
“Aw,” Jess pats Sam’s belly. “It’s a food baby!”

  
“Hey, you already have one kid!” Dean reminds them. “No need to eat all of my food to make another.”

  
The table laughs, and they move on. Cas notes that Jo seems relieved to have attention off of herself.

 

 

In the following weeks, Cas finds that Jo likes knives, she likes animals, she likes the color orange. She reads some, but doesn’t like classics. She prefers boots to sneakers, short sleeves to long sleeves, and pie to cake, which makes Dean very happy. She and Meg hit it off almost immediately, so much so that Cas finds himself watching the two of them with a jealous pang in his stomach. He tries to push the feeling down, but it’s difficult. He tries to be happy that Meg has found another friend, but he can’t help feeling a bit left. 

  
When he tells Dean one night, after they’re already in bed, the man makes a sympathetic noise and pulls Cas into a hug. 

  
“You know people can have more than one friend.” He says.

  
“I know,” Cas sighs. “But she never has before. She’s always just had me.”

  
“Cas-” Dean starts.

  
“I know, I know! It’s stupid. I’m being silly. I do _know_. That doesn’t make me feel better though.”

  
Dean nuzzles into Cas’ hair, pressing kisses to his head. “Give it time.” Is the advice he offers. “She’s still your friend.” It doesn’t make Cas feel much better but, as advice, it makes sense. 

  
Cas thinks about it for a while, staring up at the dark ceiling, and then his mind drifts to other things. His mind drifts to the idea of children of his own, as it has been doing frequently lately, and he feels a strange yearning in his heart. Yearning for a child that looks like him, looks like Dean. Maybe it would be a little boy, with brown hair and blue eyes, or a girl with black hair and green eyes. Maybe the child would have Dean’s personality, he thinks happily, or his own, or something totally different. It would grow up in a loving home, no matter if it was alpha, beta, or omega. It would have so many people to care for it and love it.

  
Cas swallows, throat suddenly constricting with emotion. He wants this, he wants a child. 

  
“Dean?” He says.

  
“Hmm?” Dean mumbles sleepily. 

  
“Have you ever though about… I mean- do you want kids?”

  
Dean is quiet for a while, and Cas almost thinks he’s asleep again by the time he speaks. “Yeah, I’ve thought about it.” He says. He tightens his arms around Cas a little. “I want kids. I worry about the world. About what kind of place the kid would be born into, what they’d have to deal with. I worry about it a lot. But yeah, after all the worry, it’s still the same.”

  
Cas nods against Dean’s chest. “Me too. I want… I want a child. One that’s yours and mine.”

  
Dean runs his fingers through Cas’ hair. “Yeah?”

  
“Yeah. A lot.”

  
Dean rakes his fingernails gently against Cas’ scalp. “What… like…”

  
“Yes.”

  
“You don’t even know what I was going to say!”

  
Cas frowns, even though it’s too dark for Dean to see his expression. “You were going to ask if I wanted a child _now_ , weren’t you?”

  
“Well, yeah.” Dean says sheepishly.

  
“Yes. I do. I want to have a child.”

  
“This is a big decision, Cas.” Dean reminds him. “We should really think about this.”

  
“I’ve thought about it. I’ve thought and thought and thought. I’ve done nothing _but_ think about it, and I want it. If _you’re_ not sure-”

  
“No, no! I mean, I want a kid, yeah! I just wasn’t sure if you were _really_ sure.”

  
Cas rolls his eyes. “Well, I am.”

  
Cas hears Dean take a deep breath, let it out. “Okay.” He says. “Okay.” 

  
“Okay?”

  
“Yeah, I mean, let’s try and have a baby! We can talk to Kevin and see if there’s anything you can take to help you conceive, maybe we can build on another room, or maybe put Meg and Anna in the other room with Inias and Hael and Jo and use their old room for a nursery.”

  
His voice grows more and more excited as he goes on, voicing his ideas about making the home ready for a baby, and a calm, happy feeling spreads through Cas. This is happening. It’s happening. They’re going to do this. 

  
They’re going to have a baby.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **QUESTION FOR MY READERS:**  
>  I'm thinking of doing a few parts (maybe whole chapters) from other character's points of view (Inias, Meg), and putting a few other romances in there.  
> So my question is, do you think it would be too jolting for me to just throw in other character views? And, is anyone super against other romances?
> 
>  
> 
> Thank you to everyone who has stuck with me so far, and goodbye to anyone who won’t be sticking around for the mpreg. I appreciate you reading this!

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on tumblr [here](https://deanlightful.tumblr.com/).


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